He bends, his hands resting on my stomach. He looks at me, never breaking eye contact as he places a kiss on my skin. Tears pool, making my vision blurry. I reach out and trail my fingers over his cheek. He has tears in his eyes and I don’t know why.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shake my head.
“I’ve been thinking about you since that night, Jenna. Every day, I see you when I close my eyes. You’re burnt into my skin and I’ve been fighting my demons every time I’m near you.”
“Jimmy,” I say, fighting back the tears.
“Sweet Lips, we’re going to have a baby.”
I nod, confirming what he knows. What I know.
He smiles, kissing my stomach again. “We created a little human and you’re going to bring our child into the world. I’ll be there, by your side, through the whole thing. I promise you.”
SITTING across the room from her is torture. I’ve never been attracted to a red head before, but there’s something about Jenna that hits me deep in my core. The way she holds herself, she moves with such confidence. I’ve seen other women hold all the attention in a room before with their fake personalities, but she doesn’t need to do that. She’s genuine and elegant. She’s all woman and probably more than even I can handle.
Every time I’ve come to Beaumont I’ve noticed more and more things about her, but she’s out of my league. I’m not smooth like Liam or romantic like Harrison. I can’t offer her stability or even a seven-day relationship. I’m damaged and broken. I’m a heartless bastard who only wants one thing and has no problem getting it.
I watch as she works the room. She dances with Liam, their bodies move in sync with each other and the music. When she’s finished, she’s in the arms of Mr. Powell, Katelyn’s father-in-law. I should ask her to dance. The only thing wrong with me doing that is I want to dance between the sheets with our clothes off and our bodies slick with sweat.
She catches me staring. It’s not the first time and it probably won’t be the last. I want carnal knowledge of her body and if I don’t get it soon I’m going to spontaneously combust. I want to feel her wrapped around my dick while I grind into her. She’ll want me to stay and I’ll want to say goodbye.
One night – that’s all I need – nothing more, nothing less. There’s nothing wrong with two adults giving into heated passion to fulfill their needs and desires. She may not need me, but after a minute with me, she’ll be begging for me to take her. I have no doubt she’ll satisfy my hunger. She’ll quench my thirst. Then I can move on. I can get her out of my system and go about my business. No one needs to know. No one can find out.
She walks to the bar and the barman flirts with her. It’s enough to make my blood boil. Is he her type? If so, I’m out of the running. He’s tall, lanky and looks like he plays basketball. The only thing I can play is her body and I know damn well I’ll be able to make her sing with the touch of a finger. The barman hands her a napkin and I have no doubts it probably has his number scrawled on it. He wants to take her on a date. I want to fuck her.
I down my whisky and coke and decide to take my chance. She can turn me down, I’ll be okay, but I don’t think she will. I’ve seen her watch me. I know that look. I’ve seen her undressing me, wondering what I have hiding under my jeans. If I play my cards right, I’ll be able to show her.
I saddle up behind her, placing my hands on her hips. My thumbs dig into her arse, hitting her pressure point. “Is he bothering you, love?” I say, loud enough to get the barman’s attention. He shakes his head and goes back to his work. Jenna turns around in my arms, my hands don’t leave their new favourite place. No one told me that when I touched the fiery red head that my palms would burn.
“What are you doing, Jimmy?”
“I’ve come to rescue you.”
“Who says I need to be rescued?” Jenna crosses her arms over her chest, accentuating her glorious breasts. They’re a fine set of puppies that I need to taste, tickle and push my face into for the next hour.
“Want to have a little fun?” Usually I just have to nod to the door and women fall over themselves to get to wherever it is we are going, but with her, it’s going to be different.
“What do you have in mind?”
I look around, making a note of where Liam and Harrison are. The last thing I need is for either of them to give me shit for fucking around with Jenna, but I need to scratch this itch and I’m fairly certain by the looks she’s been giving me that she wants it too.
“Is there somewhere we can go?”
Jenna looks around. She bites her lower lip, enticing me more. “There’s a room down the hall past the bathrooms. I’ll meet you there.”
She walks out first, leaving me to watch her arse sway. I’m not going to have any qualms about lifting that skirt up and burying myself deep inside her. I want to hear her scream my name and watch her come undone with my expertise.
I wait a few minutes, probably not long enough, but I can’t wait any longer, I need to feel her legs wrapped around me. I walk, faster than normal, down the hall. The sound of the wedding celebration becomes muffled the further I put the party behind me.
The door is cracked open. I shove it open, my eagerness obvious. She turns, her skirt twirling. If I didn’t know better, I’d think we were filming a scene for a b-rated porn film. The only thing missing is the cheesy music.
I shut the door, locking it behind me. Jenna doesn’t move closer. She stands on the other side of the room, her hands behind her back. I slip off my jacket and place it on the chair. My tie is next. This is going to be quick, but I want her to touch me. I want to feel her nails dig into my skin. I unbutton my shirt and undo my belt. I take out my wallet and grab the condom I put there earlier. I place it on the table, her eyes watching my every move.
“Ever done this before?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve never had sex outside of a relationship before.”
I reach out, placing my hand on her hip and pull her to me. “If you don’t want to, I’ll leave.”
Her eyes bore into mine. “I’m here aren’t I?”
“What are you doing?” Jenna stretches out next to me. For the first time, in a long time, I made love to a woman. This time it was different. This time the buildup of a relationship wasn’t there. This time it’s my wife.
“Thinking.”
“About what?” she rolls and faces me. I curl her hair behind her ear, moving closer. I take her hand in mind, kissing her palm.
“About the night we conceived our baby. Were you ever going to tell me?” She shakes her head, hiding her face in the pillow. “Why not?”
Her shoulders shrug. I pull her up, enough so I can see her. She looks so beautiful with the sun shining through the window.
“I didn’t want you to think you had to stick around. Even now, if you want out, if you want to move on like nothing has happened, I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” She puts her hand on her stomach. The small round, but noticeable, bump is barely hiding behind her hand. The same hand I placed a diamond ring on last night, a ring that I meant, with every fibre of my being, to give her.
I know life, for me, is going to be different. No more late nights. No more women. Instead, I’m going to have a wife that I’ll come home to each night and lie in bed with on Sunday mornings. I want to be different from my dad. No, I have to be different. My child and wife deserve the world. I won’t let Jenna suffer because of the fucked up choices I’ve made for myself during the past three years.
“I don’t want out,” I say, putting my hand over hers. “This is where I want to be. When Liam told me you were pregnant I wanted to hurt the guy who was responsible, but when he said how many months you are and that it happened sometime around the wedding, I knew I was that guy. I’m not going to let you do this by yourself. We’re going to be partners in everything. The only way you’re going to get rid of me is to tell me that the baby’s not mine, but I know in my heart that it is.”
; “We don’t have to be married for you to be a part of the baby’s life if that’s what you want.”
I push her down and hover over the top of her. “I want to be married to you. You’re fucking sexy as hell and you rock my world, Sweet Lips.”
Jenna smiles and wiggles underneath me, increasing the problem in my boxers.
“Why do you call me that?”
I lean down and kiss her once. “Because the first time I tasted your lips, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. They’re so sweet and now they’re all mine.”
“You’re such a dork.”
I fall to the side of her and pretend I’m hurt. She runs her fingers through my hair and kisses me below my ear.
“Traditional marriage?”
I raise my head and smile. “Yes, that means you have to clean my boxers and cook my dinner.”
“And you’ll come home every night. No other women?”
“No other women ever, except you.” I kiss her hard, hoping to eliminate any thoughts she has about me straying. I’ve only been willing to settle down one other time in my life and that changed in one fateful night. Since then, I’ve been doing whoever I please because it’s easier than having a relationship. That’s until now. Jenna’s different. I’ve known that from the night of the wedding. I was just too stuck in my own world to realise it and work out what do to about it.
“I’m afraid to trust you. I’m scared that you’re going to figure out this isn’t what you want and that our ideas of a traditional marriage are different.”
“I understand that, but I’ll do whatever you need me to, to make you feel secure.” I kiss my way down her body lifting up my white t-shirt that she slept in. I place kisses over her belly without breaking eye contact with her. I’ve always thought Jenna was sexy, but knowing she’s having a baby, my baby, makes her the sexiest fucking girl I’ve ever seen. At the moment, I don’t want to be anywhere else.
Being a parent wasn’t something I’ve wanted for a while. When I was with Chelsea we talked about babies with her five and ten year plans, but when we split up, I swore off children. I was determined not to find the one to tie me down. It’s a good thing we found each other because at the moment, I don’t want to be anywhere else. Except in the sea, that is. Right now, I want to see my wife in the bikini I just bought her.
“Let’s go swimming,” I say, kissing my way up her stomach. She adjusts as I move between her legs. Her hands rest on my shoulders. Her eyes are dark with need. I could give into her and as much as I’d love to spend all our time in this bed, we need to explore and I want to start with exploring her body in the sea.
“I don’t have a swimsuit.”
“Hmm, not that you need one because, trust me, I’d love to sit here and watch your boobs get sun kissed all day, but your bikini is in one of the drawers over there.” I point behind me. She lifts her head slightly, and looks over my shoulder.
“How’d it get there?”
“While we were off getting wed, I had a bunch of things delivered. Come on now, up you go, love.” I sit back on my knees, straddling her. She starts laughing, covering her face. “What’s so funny, Sweet Lips?”
“You and your accent.”
“Mhm, well I have it on good authority that you happen to like my accent.” I lean forward and kiss her on her neck, her cheek and chin until I’ve moved her hand out of the way so I can kiss her sweet, delectable lips.
She shakes her head, causing me to laugh.
“Are you telling me you don’t like my accent?”
She spreads her fingers so she can peek out through the gap. “It’s not that, it’s just sometimes you say things that I don’t understand and other times everything is very American.”
I sit back again and pull her up. “That’s because I spend all my time with those crazy band mates of mine. Have you heard those two get on? They’re like an old married couple, I can tell you. You never know what’s going to come out of their mouths.”
“Well, I like it.”
“That’s good. Just think we’ll have to spend a lot of time in England so our bub has an accent too. Now come on my wifey, let’s go get dirty in the water.”
I don’t give her time to respond. I stand and scoop her off the bed, carrying her over to the chest of drawers. I put her down leaving her to find whatever swimming costume she wants to wear. If I stand there too long I’m bound to take her back to bed.
I know all this is too good to be true. I should be running away from him, but I can’t. I’ve liked him for so long that when he approached me at the wedding there was no way I was saying no. When I found out I was pregnant, even though I knew I couldn’t have him, I’d at least have a part of him.
When Jimmy got on bended knee and asked me to marry him, I should’ve said no. I should’ve saved him from the mistake he’s going to feel in a week or a month. But I thought, for one brief moment, that when our child is older I could say, “yeah, your parents were married”, and that would make everything okay. I never suspected that he knew. Honestly, I haven’t given him much credit because he’s jumping from bed to bed, but he knew. For that, I have to admire him.
I’m not sure how I’m going to trust him. It’s going to be very tough. How can a man who’s used to being a certain way suddenly change? It doesn’t seem possible. Also, I know nothing about him. I’ve married a total stranger, but then again, who plans to marry the father of their unborn child months after a one-night stand? Not me, that’s for sure. I thought we had our moment and that was it. I’d see him when he was in town and we’d be friendly. Never did I expect this.
I stand on the edge of the deck to our villa. Jimmy swims with his back to me. I can make out the faint coloring of his tattoo. I like that he’s not covered like Harrison, not that I’ve been staring at Harrison, but have seen him enough times mowing his lawn to know. Jimmy’s are subtle and along his arm, just enough to add a bit of mystery to him.
“Penny for your thoughts, wifey.” he pops out of the water, startling me. I cover my heart and try to regulate my breathing. He laughs and swims over to the ladder. I take in his body as he appears. The water dripping off his already tan skin makes my mouth water. I can have him anytime I want. Right now that sounds like heaven, but I can’t shake the feeling that once we’re back in reality, I’ll just be something he has to take care of. I don’t think I’m enough for him to change and I’m thinking that maybe we should get this marriage annulled when we get back. No hard feelings or anything. I just don’t want to be the reason he’s holding back from who he truly is.
He comes behind me, pressing his wet chest against my back. His hands move around me and rest on my stomach. His thumbs move up and down. He kisses my collarbone, moving to my shoulder.
“You’re so fucking sexy.”
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me. I’m plain compared to the women I’ve seen him photographed with. “I’m going to be fat soon.”
“Is that what you think?”
I nod. It’s what I know. I’ve looked up the pictures of different stages of pregnancy. I know what I’m going to look like. It won’t be long before he stops coming home because I’m a grouchy oversized bitch.
“Come into the water with me.” I have no reason to deny him. We’re here, on vacation, and this is what people do, they swim. I nod and turn in his arms. I tell my heart to shut down, to not look into his soft brown eyes. Even if he means well now, I don’t want the heartbreak later. His hands move up my back and into my hair. He pulls at the elastic hair band, releasing my ponytail. I’ve been trying to grow out my hair and it’s just above my shoulders. I hope he likes longer hair.
“I like it when you have your hair down,” he says, his eyes boring into mine. I wish I could read him. I wish I knew what was going through his mind. His lips touch mine softly and only briefly. Maybe he’s regretting this already. If that’s the case, he just needs to tell me, I’ll let him go. I won’t hold him in a marriage that he doesn’t want
to be in. “Are you ready?” he asks, taking my hand in his. He turns me around to face the water.
“Is it deep enough to jump?”
“Of course. You’ll be fine, trust me.”
I look at him when he says trust me and feel my heart break a little. I offer a small smile and nod. He holds our hands up and we jump in. I shriek at the temperature of the water and make for the ladder. Jimmy grabs me around the waist and pulls me to him.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“It’s cold, Jimmy. I’m going back to the room.”
“Just wait a minute, Sweet Lips, it’ll warm up.” He swims us out a bit and into the sun. I lean back against his shoulder and let the warmth beat down on my face. He holds us in the water, floating. He’s right and I hate to admit it. The water does feel good. Jimmy runs his fingers along my sides, over my bump and back again. The romantic side of me wants to think that he’s trying to memorize me, but the practical side tells me that he’s doing this so that I’ll think he’s in this marriage for real.
His fingers graze my breasts. I close my eyes and lean farther back against his shoulder. I’m so sensitive and he knows that. Jimmy sucks my ear lobe into his mouth, biting me gently. He slides his hands into the front of my top, his hands massaging my breasts. He moves my bikini cups to the side, exposing me for all to see. I open my eyes and look around, but see no one. It’s as if he’s paid everyone to be gone so we could be like this.
He slides his hand down the front of my bottoms, his finger pressing against my aching clit. My back arches on its own accord welcoming the attention he’s showing my body. He bites and kisses everywhere he can reach while the water laps over us.
“Jimmy,” I say, sounding like a wanton whore.
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
My hand finds the back of his head. I pull on his hair, cementing him to my shoulder. He chuckles, increasing the pressure of his finger. I don’t know how I’m not sinking to the ocean floor, but somehow he’s holding us up.
Finding My Forever Page 8