My fingers move back and forth along his arm. The action seems natural, like it’s something that I should be doing even if I’m thinking my marriage is going to fall apart at a moment’s notice. Jimmy’s lips press against my temple, my cheek and then the side of my lips before he snuggles into the crook of my neck. If he acts like this, then why isn’t it enough for me to accept that he’s here for all the right reasons? His hand spreads out on my bump, his fingers start to tap along my skin. I’m curious as to what song he’s playing, but am tongue-tied and not able to ask. It’s stupid. I’m stupid. My feelings are stupid and I’m starting to hate that every image I have of Jimmy is tainted even though he hasn’t given me a reason to feel this way. But my head… it’s telling me to run and run fast.
I close my eyes and mentally run through everything that has to be done today. First, find my parents and share the good news with them. I can’t believe I let Jimmy take me away for two weeks and didn’t once call and check in. I know I’m an adult, but under the circumstances, I’m sure my parents are worried. They don’t know Jimmy like I do and they’re here to see me, to make sure everything is okay and I just upped and left. What kind of daughter does that make me? At some point we need to share the news with our friends. They’ll be happy, right? Of course they will, they’re our friends and Jimmy and I are having a baby. Everyone will be happy.
I need to stop thinking so negatively. I’m having a baby and I thought I was going to have to do this alone, but now that’s not the case. He’s here, by my side, and that’s going to have to be enough for now.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, Sweet Lips?” Jimmy kisses my neck, moving toward my ear. He pulls me closer as if he thinks I’m going somewhere. If he only knew that’s the fear I carry with me where he’s concerned.
“Life,” I say with a shrug.
Jimmy rises up on his elbow and moves my hair away from my face. He leans forward and kisses my nose. He pulls back slowly, his hand trailing down my side. “Don’t frown, beautiful. I love your smile and you should be happy.”
“Why’s that, Jimmy?”
Jimmy moves over the top of me. He leans on his arms, keeping his weight off of me. I fight the urge to pull him down on top of me, to feel him against me.
“Wifey, I never want to see you sad. It’s my job to make you happy and if I’m not doing my job then I need to kick my own arse. Now tell me, what’s with the frown?”
I fight the urge to shrug and roll my eyes. He’s trying and I owe it to him to try as well. I take a deep breath and look him in his eyes. “I feel like crap for being gone for two weeks while my parents are here… or were. For all I know they’ve left because I disappeared. I should’ve called and checked in or something.”
He moves to my side, but keeps his leg in between mine. His hand rests, again, on my stomach. He’s doing everything I’ve always wanted my husband to do, everything I imagined. The caring caress, the eagerness to touch and feel his child. It’s what I want so why do I continue to have doubts?
“You were on your honeymoon. I think you’re mum and dad will forgive you.”
I shake my head. “They didn’t know I was getting married, Jimmy. Heck, I didn’t even know. I should’ve called them.”
“So why didn’t you? You had your phone and there was a phone in the room. You could’ve called and told them, but you didn’t. Are you embarrassed about me?”
His question takes me by surprise. I shake my head, vigorously. “Why would you ask such a question, Jimmy?”
This time he’s the one shrugging. “If you’re worried about your parents, you could’ve called them, but you didn’t. If you’re regretting getting married, just tell me. I’m a big boy, I can handle it, but you should know that I’ll be here for you and the baby.” He kisses me quickly before extracting himself, leaving me with words caught in my throat.
HE’S sweet. He’s caring. He’s good looking. He’s sexy. He’s my husband and I’m about to introduce him as such to my parents and best friend. My eyes are riveted on him as he walks in front of my car. The jeans he’s wearing accentuate his ass and I giggle at myself for even staring. But I can stare and touch because he’s allowed me free reign over his body, as I’ve allowed him. I shouldn’t feel nervous about what we’re about to do. We’re adults and we’re pregnant. We’re being responsible, albeit sudden and rash.
Jimmy opens the car door and holds out his hand, waiting for me to place mine in his. When I do, he tugs lightly, encouraging me to get out of the car. I take my place beside him and we walk hand in hand to Josie and Liam’s house. We don’t knock, no one does. When we step in, laughter rings out from the living room.
We step into the living room, our hands linked together. Jimmy’s finger moves over my rings, squeezing my hand at the same time. If he’s nervous, he’s doesn’t look it. He clears his throat, loudly, causing everyone to turn and look. I smile, but it feels weak.
“You’re back and you’re… holding hands?” Josie is the first one to speak. Her eyes scan over us, full of questions.
“Jenna, what’s going on?” my dad asks. I swallow hard and look at Jimmy. He’s looking at me. His eyes sparkle with excitement. I look back at my parents, Josie and Liam, and take a deep breath.
“We got married.” Jimmy raises our hands in the air in triumph, like we just won some award. My mom gasps and Josie’s mouth drops open. I think we’ve given new meaning to ‘expect the unexpected’. Right now, I think everyone in the room is shocked.
“You did what?” I expect this question from my dad, but not Liam. He pushes past my dad and stands before us. The sleeves of his black t-shirt are rolled over his biceps showing his physique. “What the fuck did you say?”
“Jenna and I got married.” Jimmy says, confidently.
“Why?” Liam looks confused and I try not to let that hurt. Does he think I’m not good enough for Jimmy?
Jimmy looks at me. I can feel his gaze penetrating me. He’s waiting for me to look at him and give him the okay. I nod, barely, but enough for him to know it’s time.
“She’s pregn–“
“We know she’s pregnant. That doesn’t mean you run off and get married.”
“Liam!” Josie says his name loudly. He turns and looks at her before turning back to us. I know he wants to protect his friend, but it’s not like I’m after his money or anything.
“You didn’t let me finish, Liam. Jenna’s pregnant with my baby.”
Liam’s face turns red as he looks from Jimmy to me. There are two gasps that I assume come from my mom and Josie and a string of expletives from my father. But for some reason, the look on Liam’s face is what does me in.
“Are you fucking kidding me, JD? You can’t go around claiming her baby because you’re bored. This is a life we’re talking about. And now you’re married? How long until you cheat?”
I jump when Liam says cheat. Jimmy’s not going to do that to me. That’s what I keep telling myself.
“I’m not bored, Liam. I’m taking responsibility. Jenna and I made this baby together on the night of your wedding, and I’ll be there by her side when she brings our child into this world.”
“What’s this about cheating?” my dad asks as he steps forward. I feel like I’m about two feet tall and invisible right now.
“Oh, JD here has a hankering for women and lots of them.”
“Liam, that’s not fair.” Josie adds. I want to say she’s right, but I know the truth. Jimmy’s a dirty dog, that’s what she called him the night of her bachelorette party.
“I won’t cheat, Mr. Hardy. Jenna means too much to me and I won’t hurt her. I’m a married man and I’m about to become a dad. This is what I want.”
Jimmy leans forward and kisses me full on my lips. He smiles when he pulls back and I can’t help but smile too.
“I can’t fucking believe you, JD.” Liam doesn’t wait for a response, but pushes Jimmy away from me and out of my sight. My dad follows, l
eaving me with Josie and my mom. Two sets of arms encase me as I fight tears that I didn’t know I had coming.
I walk down the path of the unknown. Unknown because most of our business “meetings” take place downstairs in the studio, but not today. Liam pushes me again, literally shoving me as if I’m walking into a torture chamber. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m being duped and I’m not the baby daddy and she’s been tricking me. I want to punch myself in the head, repeatedly, for even thinking that. There’s no way she’s lying about us. She doesn’t need to. I remember the night vividly, like it happened yesterday. It’s been on my mind constantly because for the first time in years my body craves her. It cries out for her. She’s my water after a long night on stage and the more I drink, the more I need.
I step outside into the back garden. I don’t know why Liam doesn’t use this space more. He should. It’s great for entertaining. I can see Jenna and I in a place like this with our little one playing in a sandbox or something equally as cheesy. I want to give this baby everything that I didn’t have when I was growing up. I know I have to start with me first. I need to get some shit straightened out in Los Angeles before I can be the best husband I can be to Jenna. It’s all crap I should’ve done before, but I’ve never been one to plan my life out. Spur of the moment works best for me and while I was thinking with my head when I asked Jenna to marry me; I also pretty much think with my dick and that gets me into trouble.
Liam steps around me and opens the door to his garage. I try not to show any fear, but I’m pretty sure it’s pouring out of my pores. Jenna’s dad stands behind me. He’s a big guy, and could easily break my sorry self in half, but I’m hoping since his daughter is carrying my child he’ll take it easy on me. What self-respecting man wants to leave his daughter husbandless and his grandchild fatherless? I tentatively look behind me and am met with an ice-cold glare. I turn slowly back around and take a deep breath before stepping over the imaginary line that is my doom.
The garage is unwelcoming and sterile. Liam is incredibly anal about his truck and motorbike so I know this room is treated like a sanctuary. If I were a gambling man, I’d bet that you could eat off the floor if you ever felt the need to behave like a dog. I have a feeling I’ll be eating in here after today. I follow Liam as he climbs up a set of wooden stairs. He flicks on a switch, lighting the rest of my path. Jenna’s father, my now father-in-law, is muttering something incomprehensible behind me. I’m willing to bet my life savings that he’s plotting ways to cut off my dick so I can’t violate his daughter again.
When I get to the top, I’m suddenly taken back to high school with Liam, even though we didn’t attend the same school or even know each other. The walls are covered with posters of him and Josie, and him and Katelyn’s former husband. I walk around the room, looking at the memorabilia and it’s like a shrine. I’m not about to ask why it’s all here because I know this is his history and if I had what he did, I’d fight to keep it all too. “What the fuck, Jimmy?” he doesn’t tell me to sit down or offer me anything to quench my dry throat, not that I deserve it. I look at my father-in-law and briefly see hurt spread all over his face. I play Jenna’s words from this morning over in my mind; she, no scratch that, we should’ve called her parents to tell them the good news. And I suppose, right now, good is a relative term.
My answer doesn’t come quickly enough. I stare between the two men wondering if this is going to be a good cop/bad cop situation. I’ve been through this before, with Chelsea and her family. Her father was never afraid to tell her that I’m nothing but a worthless piece of shit, and her uncle tried to help me get a respectable job. It didn’t matter how much money I made with the band, it was never good enough to satisfy her father. I was never good enough.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask, and it’s clearly the wrong question. Jenna’s dad, whose name I don’t even know, paces. His hands are shoved deeply in his pockets and as he walks, he mumbles to himself, shaking his head back and forth.
“How much is it going to take?
“Why would you be so stupid to claim a child that isn’t yours?”
Both questions are fired at me at the same time and it makes head spin. I alternate looking at both men, each one clearly has a different agenda and I know that I have to tackle the most important one. I step forward, stopping in his path and offer my hand.
“I’m Jimmy Davis. My friends call me JD, but your daughter calls me Jimmy and I know I should’ve asked you for her hand in marriage, but I tend to get carried away and act before I think and apparently I talk a lot when I’m nervous, but it’s nice to meet you.”
Liam doesn’t hide the fact that he’s laughing at me. I’m sweating bullets and my best mate is in the corner pissing himself laughing at me like this is some type of hilarious joke. Jenna’s dad is bloody huge and I’m a nervous wreck because he could probably kill me with his bare hands. Ironically, I didn’t care what Chelsea’s parents thought of me, but I do care what this man thinks of me because I’m going to know him for a long time.
I drop my hand when he doesn’t offer his back. I look away, not wanting to show him the hurt expression on my face. If I have to spend the next however many years buttering up this man, I’ll do it because it will make my wife happy. Her mother I can probably win over with my charm, but I doubt this burly man gives two shits about me.
“How much will take for you to go away, to annul this sham of a marriage?”
I step back at his request, stunned. This marriage isn’t a sham. We’re having a baby and I’m doing the best thing for Jenna and me. I never wanted children, at least not right now, but knowing that she’s having my baby – it does things to me – and I want to be with her. She’s fucking sexy as hell and my body craves her. Not being with her isn’t an option for me.
“Mr Hardy, yes, I know that’s my fault for going about this the wrong way and shit, but I’ll make it up to you. Either way, I don’t want your money. Jenna and I are having a baby, we’re married and I’m not going anywhere.” I stand my ground, whatever that’s worth. He can take his money and buy off the police or a judge to keep Jenna safe from her ex, but I’m not going anywhere.
“Don’t you think you should know the names of your wife’s parents?”
I nod because he’s right, but to be honest Jenna and I didn’t talk about her parents. We talked about us and my reassurance that we did the right thing. “With all due respect, I’ve known your daughter for some time now and she’s never mentioned you.”
This revelation makes him take a step back this time. He cocks his head to one side and pulls out his cheque-book. I shake my head. I’m going to stand my ground that’s for sure. He walks over to the table and opens it. I step forward, looking over his shoulder.
“Mr Hardy,” I say with conviction. “Please be aware that I won’t accept your money. I don’t think your daughter or your grandchild will appreciate you trying to buy me off and out of their lives.”
I turn to Liam, not for help, but for understanding. He’s stone faced and looks caught off guard.
“As for your question, Liam, and as I stated earlier, I’m the father. I’m not claiming a child that isn’t mine, but one that is solely mine. Jenna and I got together the night of your wedding. She wasn’t going to tell me but you did, and when I saw her that night, I put two and two together and took her to Bora Bora with the intention of marrying her.”
Liam shakes his head and pinches the bridge of nose. I’m dying to know what’s going through his mind, but I’m too chicken to ask.
I turn away from both men, leaving them to make their own assumptions about me.
“Stop,” Liam says, halting me in my tracks. “You can’t pay him off.”
“Excuse me?” Mr Hardy replies. He steps forward and if I wasn’t watching him like a hawk I wouldn’t believe my eyes, but he literally puffs his chest out at Liam.
“I said you can’t pay him off.”
“And why’s that? Clearly you have an i
ssue with him marrying Jenna. This seems to be the easiest way to make it all go away.”
Liam moves closer to me and maybe we’re showing some kind of solitary front, although it’s more likely that he just wants to be to the one to kick my arse.
“I’ve known JD for a long time and the one thing I know for certain is that when he does something, he does so whole-heartedly. The other thing I know is that your daughter is pregnant and JD is the father and if you think I’m going to stand here and let you pay him off so that your grandchild grows up without his or her father, you’ve got another thing coming. If you want to write them a congratulatory check, I’m sure they’ll take it. If not, put your checkbook away and pat him on the back for taking care of your daughter. I wish someone would’ve told me my girl was pregnant because I missed ten years with my son. I’m not going to let JD miss one minute.”
Liam looks at me and I nod back at him. It’s a silent thank you because right now my throat has closed up and I can’t speak. I’ll never forget his words and there’s a great big chance I’ll never be able to tell him how grateful I am for what he said.
“And if he screws up?” Mr Hardy asks.
“I won’t. Look, Mr Hardy, I can’t explain it, but since I’ve known Jenna I always feel good when I’m around her. When I found out she was pregnant I knew the baby was mine. I won't sugar-coat anything and tell you we conceived the bub out of love, it was a one-night stand, but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
Finding My Forever Page 10