Whether he wanted it or not, his body dragged him toward unconsciousness. His fingers bunched in the bedclothes beneath him as he fought it, his words slurring as the last question he had slipped from his lips. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know the truth. “Vishra, how long after I was taken did the empress come aboard?”
There was a short pause before the ship answered. “There are several variables that could affect the answer, but by the simplest calculation, it was approximately seventy-nine hours, six minutes, and twenty-three seconds, Your Majesty.”
“Three days. Not months.” His chest tightened, some fierce emotion cutting off his breath, but his exhaustion would no longer be denied.
The ship’s response was the last thing he heard before the oblivion of slumber claimed him. “Yes, sire.”
Some part of his mind remained alert, refused to relax, to trust that this wasn’t some drug-induced hallucination that he would wake up from, that he wouldn’t still be writhing on the floor in agony when he opened his eyes. It wouldn’t be the first time Arthur had done such a thing to him.
He didn’t know what was right, what was real anymore, but sleep pulled him in directions he couldn’t control, deep into dreams of the last time he had made love to his One. What stunned him was that he could feel Jana on the other end of the fantasy. As much as he’d tried to shred the ties that bound him to her, the thinnest thread still connected them. So minute, he doubted she could even sense it, but it was there. Now that his psychic powers had returned, he had no doubts that they were still linked. Anun help him.
But in the dream, he was smiling, so happy, so content. Kyber doubted the muscles in his face remembered how to relax into such an expression anymore. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled. It might have been that day, that moment.
They were aboard his personal shuttle, sumptuously appointed with couches, a wide bed, and every amenity an emperor could desire when skimming through space. Most of the time, Kyber never used any of those things. He just enjoyed the few moments of privacy and independence flying himself alone in his own ship afforded him.
He tapped his fingers over an imager, finishing a communication to the commanders in his fleet. Jana wandered up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She was naked and smelled of warm woman, hot sex, and Kyber. A smile curved his mouth when he stood and turned in her embrace to kiss her.
She hummed against his lips, leaning into his body. “Take me back to bed.”
“Yes.” He danced them in slow circles to the rear of the shuttle before he pushed her backward onto the bed, watching the way her lovely breasts bounced when she landed.
“I could have gotten down here myself.” She propped herself on her elbows.
He winked, already tugging at his shirt. “Yes, but it’s my turn to be on top.”
She laughed, then frowned when she poked her fingers into the gelpad beneath her. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what’s this made of?”
“The gelpad?” He flung his shirt over his shoulder. “I have no idea. Some kind of gel.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes but bit her lip as she watched him strip. Her gaze heated, and the desire he saw there made him groan.
“Have you any idea how long I have dreamed of this moment? Of having you in my bed?” He shed his garments as fast as possible, fumbling with buttons until he could finally wrench the last of his clothing off.
“And here I am.” A quiet smile bowed her lips, her gray eyes serious. Too serious. He loved it when she laughed best, it loosened something deep inside him.
“Yes, here you are.” He grabbed her legs to pull her toward him.
She pressed her thighs open in invitation. He ran his tongue over his teeth, staring at the wetness gathered on her vaginal lips, his fingers tightening on her ankles. Fire blazed within him, her every reaction calling to him through the wide connection they shared. His chest tightened with wonder at having finally found her. He had waited so long. “I want to lap up all your sweet cream, Jana, and fuck you with my tongue until you come for me.”
A hot blush pinkened her cheeks, her eyes closing, her innocence a delight to him. As delightful as knowing that he was the only man who had ever touched her. She was the most precious gift fate had ever given him. He loved her with a pure, deep passion that made his chest ache.
Even her shyness couldn’t disguise how his words made her wetness increase, and her scent made his cock throb with a fierceness he couldn’t contain. If he sank himself inside her now, he wouldn’t last long enough to make her come. It was embarrassing how simply being near her, sliding his hands over her, shredded his vaunted imperial control to nothing.
He moved to the end of the bed, sprawling catlike, and propping his head in his hand. He didn’t touch her. He didn’t think he could stand it if he did. Instead, he opened his thoughts to her, seeking that link that bound his heart and mind and soul to hers.
She writhed on the bed covers. Her eyes flew open, latching on to his face. He offered her a smile that he knew bared his fangs. He wanted her and the beast was even more insatiable. She licked her lips, the surprise and uncertainty fading from her gaze as he sank his consciousness into hers. She would feel how much he loved the mental contact with her, how it met needs even the ecstasy of physical contact could not.
Her fantasies overlaid his, their thoughts and desires tangling together. Her breathing sped, her nipples beading before his gaze. Her creamy flesh flushed, the pulse pounding visibly at her throat.
She slid her foot up his calf. His body jolted and he caught her ankle, gently setting her leg away from him. “No touching, my empress.”
“But I want to touch.” Her gaze zeroed in on his painfully rigid cock, and she licked her lips. A shudder rippled through him and he wrestled with the beast within that wanted to spring, pounce, and claim every inch of her as his own. He tamed it easily and focused on her.
Her knees pressed to the gelpad as her hips began to undulate. The musky scent of her arousal intoxicated him. A purr rumbled in his chest, spilling from his lips. “Lovely. If you want to touch, Jana, then touch yourself. Show me what you’d like.”
“You can sense what I’d like. You’re in my head.” She bit her lower lip, her white teeth sinking into her plump pink flesh. Anun, he loved how she reacted so beautifully to every stimulus.
He slid his hand down his stomach until he could grasp his dick. He felt the swelling of her excitement through their connection. “Yes, I can tell you like this.”
A soft moan bubbled out of her as he began stroking his erection. His cravings fed hers, and soon she gave in to the temptation to let her fingers slip between her thighs. He could feel how her flesh felt under her own fingers, just as he let her feel how his hand felt moving over his hard sex.
“Oh, my God. This is…” Her voice trailed off into a soft whimper, her hips bucking to meet the thrust of her slim digits inside of her soaking channel.
Working his cock hard, he rolled his thumb over the head. He twisted his hand, stroking the shaft through his tight fist. She moaned each time he pumped himself. He watched her gaze lose focus as the pleasure took her. Her mouth fell open and low cries ripped from her. He let his need slam into her mind, his ecstasy at connecting with her, his joy at finally having her. It was enough to make her come against her hand.
He choked, his own orgasm slamming into him. The muscles in his belly locked, a hiss ripping from him. His fluids spilled over his stroking fingers and onto the bedclothes.
“I still want you inside me, Kyber.” Her gray eyes reflected her unsated greed when they met his. “Please.”
He crawled up until he could settle against her curves, loving how they fit his angles perfectly. She was made for him. His cock hardened with renewed need. He groaned and sank down on his elbows to kiss her. Her legs snapped around his waist and she lifted herself into him. Giving in to the intense yearning, he eased his cock deep inside her. Her narrow walls clampe
d around him and he had to grit his teeth against the lust that gripped him. He licked his way into her mouth, thrusting his tongue with the same rhythm as his cock moved within her.
She moaned against his lips, any remaining shyness fleeing under the onslaught of their mutual desire. They raced for orgasm together, each feeding the other’s most carnal hungers. Her pussy flexed around his cock, her passage so tight he thought it would drive him to utter madness. She bit his lip hard, screamed, and raked her nails down his back as she came apart in his arms. She called to the wildness in him the way nothing else did. He broke his mouth away from hers, threw his head back, fangs bared, and roared as he pumped his cum deep within her.
“Kyber!” Her channel pulsed around his cock, echoing the satisfaction that throbbed through their bond, driving them both to greater heights than they’d ever imagined. “Kyber, I love you. I love you so much.”
“Jana. My Jana. My One. I love you, too.” He sank down on her, more content than he’d ever been in his life. This was everything he’d ever wanted. And he had his whole life to enjoy it. With her.
Kyber’s eyes flared wide, ripped from a dream that had become a nightmare, and for a moment he had no idea where he was. Confusion and terror exploded through him. He wasn’t in his cell, wasn’t in his shuttle, or in his own bed. He jerked automatically against the chains that bound him, only to find he wasn’t shackled. Instead, he flipped and landed hard on the metal floor on his hands and knees. He groaned as pain shafted up his legs and stabbed into his brain. Anun, but he knew pain now. It was as familiar to him as breathing. Days that bled into endless nights of unending, unstoppable agony.
“Sire, are you all right? Should I unlock the door and allow medics to come in?” The Vishra’s voice was as close to panic as it could ever be, and everything came back to him in a swift rush.
Jana. His rescue. His return to the ship.
His erotic dream shared by his One—just like they’d done before he found her.
He shook his head and dragged himself to his feet, swaying when he straightened too fast. He slumped against the bed and cleared his throat. “I am fine, Vishra. Thank you.”
Boosting himself back onto the gelpad, he dropped his head into his hands. The dream mocked him. He’d thought he had forever with that sweet, pure bond. Instead, it had died in mere hours. Even the connection he had now with Jana, the sharing of the dream, was a pathetic shadow to the openness they had known. He tamped down on that link, shoring up his defenses against it.
“What shift is it, Vishra?”
The liquid voice flowed over him. “The third work shift just began, Your Majesty.”
He used to work the first shift and most of the second, but no one would expect to meet with him for hours. Closing his eyes, he let gratitude sweep over him. He wasn’t ready to deal with being the calm, composed emperor just yet.
“If you would like to arise, the empress had a set of your clothing placed in the clothing cleanser in the sanitation room.”
Kyber winced at the mention of the empress. Jana. He didn’t know what to feel with her, either, didn’t know what to do. They weren’t who they had been, he wasn’t who he had been. Months of nothing but feral rage to survive on had made him someone he’d never dreamed of being. Someone he’d never wanted to be. He didn’t even know who or what he was now.
Padding into the sanitation room, he stretched his arms above his head and loosened the kinks in his muscles. It felt amazing to be able to move free of restraints, something he’d never take for granted again. He slid on the clothes Jana had left and wandered the halls and stairways of his ship. He avoided the imperial office suite, and habit took him in the direction of his quarters.
The door to his rooms stood open. He froze, wariness bringing his senses to full alertness. Jana was in there; he could smell the sweetness of her skin. The beast came to full alert, and he couldn’t stop his body from reacting to her scent. His cock rose to chafe against his fly.
She bent over a small table against one wall, her profile to him. If she knew he was there, she gave no indication of it. He focused on her, not allowing himself to look at the bed where they’d never had a chance to lay together. He stilled a derisive snort. Anun knew, in the year it had taken to find her, when their shared dreams had grown more frequent and more erotic, his fantasies had never restricted their love play to the bed. There wasn’t a surface in this room that he hadn’t imagined they’d use. Against the wall, on the floor, in every chair, even bent over that same table. So many hopes shattered, but the carnal reminder made his dick harden to the point of rigid pain, and he gritted his teeth, cursing his body for betraying him. Her signature and his were overlaid in the room now. It sent a ripple of some emotion he didn’t care to name down his spine.
His hands shook as he watched her, and he tried to get a grip on the lust streaking through him. Her body was leaner, more muscular. Likely the result of training to hunt, to fight as he’d seen her do. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She’d cut it short. The waist-length auburn strands now barely skimmed her jaw. It made her look harder, less innocent. Or maybe it was the cynicism in her eyes that had never been there before.
“Did the Vishra tell you the truth about how long I’ve been here?” She turned to face him, her gray gaze placid. There was no hint that the dream they’d shared had affected her at all. He didn’t like that, but he pushed the thought away.
He nodded, folded his arms, and propped his shoulder against the doorjamb. “Yes, but coming into this room tells me even more. Your scent and psychic signature inundate everything.”
“Well, that’s good, I guess.” The bright smile she gave him didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her smoky gaze flickered for a moment, but he couldn’t decipher the emotion there. He’d once been able to read her like a book, her wants and needs as apparent to him as his own.
“I guess,” he echoed her but couldn’t believe she’d describe anything about this as good. This wasn’t good, they weren’t good. Something inside him broke at the awkwardness between them. They had never been awkward before, and bitter pain expanded within him. “How could you do it, Jana?”
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand him, but she looked anywhere except him. “I would have done anything to save you.”
“Except listen to me.” Striding forward until he’d forced her against the wall beside the table, he kept his gaze locked with hers. Her expression didn’t change, her thoughts beyond his reach. Bracketing his hand around the underside of her jaw, he spoke in that rusty voice that sounded nothing like his own. “I know you heard me tell you not to do it.”
“He said he just wanted me returned to my family.” Her eyes widened when Kyber touched her, the first real indication of the Jana he’d once known. “He said he’d let you go.”
“So you trusted him and not me?” His One hadn’t trusted him to find a way out of the mess he’d been in, and look where they’d ended up. Who had failed whom the most? Was it something intrinsically wrong with him that had made his One unable to believe in him? He didn’t know, he didn’t know anything anymore, and that scared him, made him angry—with himself, with her, with destiny, with the whole universe and every soul in it. He was supposed to know.
His throat worked when he swallowed. Whatever opportunity he’d had to communicate his whereabouts the day he’d been kidnapped had died when he cut the connection with her. The One bond was the deepest and most fundamental part of the Kith psychic gift. It had held out against the white noise machine Arthur had used on him. For a time.
“I would have done anything to save you and our bond, Kyber.” That forced smile curled her lips again, so brittle he thought it would crack. “I did do anything, didn’t I?”
“You didn’t save me or our bond.” It was so slender and blocked it was hardly worth calling a bond anymore, let alone a One bond. Then again, their bond had never been as perfect as he’d imagined, he reminded himself with ruthless force. He’d li
ved with a perfect union before, seen how it worked with his parents. Always together, always open and trusting, always in perfect harmony.
“I did what I thought was right. And you’re safe now.” Her calm infuriated him. He was the one who should be in control here.
He wanted to shake her, want to make her respond and feel a tiny portion of the pain and horror that ripped through him. His grip tightened on her jaw. “You thought it was right to fuck another man, Jana? You honestly thought that would save me?”
Those gray eyes narrowed, and her hiss was worthy of any Kith. “I honestly didn’t think you were going to save yourself in chains, Kyber. What was giving a description of the inside of a cell or transport van going to do to help the Guardians find you?”
“Yes, because my sense of sight is the only thing I have. What about distinct smells, my heightened hearing?” His fangs erupted from his gums, the beast’s fury pumping through his system. “You trusted a stranger over your One.”
“That stranger held the key to your freedom. And we knew each other for one day, Kyber. You were almost as much a stranger as he was.” She jerked her chin out of his grasp, but he crowded her between the wall and the table. She wasn’t going anywhere. “What do you want me to say, Kyber? I was wrong. I’m sorry. Does that change a single thing? No, it doesn’t. But I’m going to hold things together and make it through this just like I did when you weren’t around.”
“Of course, because I’m the one who needs saving. What use do you have for me?” His One bond was a failure, this expedition was a failure, he was a failure. He’d never have what his parents had. Not then, not now, not ever. And that made him angrier, made guilt twist through him that his One had given so much so uselessly to free him from a trap the emperor should have avoided.
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