Bend for Me

by Jessica Yeh

  Her heart plummeted at the thought of Kadence having to go through something so traumatic. Kadence was so strong and put together all the time. But was it a result of numbness or caution? Probably both. Suddenly, Melody’s words carried that much more weight. Maybe she could have you.

  Avery circled Kadence in her arms, determined to take away her pain as Kadence fell into her for comfort, clinging to her shirt while Avery led her to the bedroom.

  “I survived.” Kadence whimpered as Avery sat her on the sheets.

  Certain she could remain upright, Avery dug through the dresser drawers.

  “But I’m just getting by…” Kadence trailed off.

  “We deserve better than just trying to get by, Kae,” Avery said over her shoulder, hoping to maintain conversation to prevent Kadence from falling asleep before she had changed. “‘Don’t you think?”

  Before she could process what happened, Kadence was launching herself at Avery, clawing at Avery’s clothing.

  “Hey,” Avery gasped, tugging her shirt down, leaning away from Kadence who was trying to kiss her neck. “Whoa. Stop!” She never thought she’d be turning down a hook up from Kadence Cooper, but she couldn’t. Not like this. “No, wait.” She caught Kadence’s wrists in her hands, ducking to meet her eyes.

  “You said it.” Kadence’s eyes were wild. “You said it just like Iris.”

  “I’m sorry.” Avery apologized, unsure of what else to do. Kadence freed herself from Avery’s grasp.

  “You’re not Iris.” She blinked as if this revelation were new to her.

  “No.” Avery frowned, finally locating a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. “I’m not Iris.” She held out the clothing for Kadence. She took them, studying the folded articles with fascination.

  “But, you’re Avery,” Kadence deduced, managing to put on the T-shirt without much struggle. It was the shorts that caused her the most trouble and she eventually gave up, tossing them onto the floor.

  Keep it PG, Bennett. “I am Avery, yes,” Avery confirmed, tearing her gaze from exposed legs. “Can you get under the sheets for me?”

  “Okay.”

  It took a moment for Kadence to get situated in her impaired state.

  “You’re not Iris…but...Avery is good, too,” Kadence murmured, snuggling her cheek into the pillow.

  Avery fought to ignore the way the words sent a glimmer of hope to her heart. “Go to sleep, Kae. We can talk about this in the morning.”

  “Sleep here,” Kadence insisted, holding the comforter in the air.

  “I don’t know if—”

  “But you promised you would stay.” Kadence jutted out her lower lip.

  “Okay.”

  Thankfully, any further protest seemed to leave her mind for the rest of the night. Kadence resituated under the sheets without a fuss. Avery moved a trashcan to the bedside, before finally allowing sleep to take her for a few brief hours.

  Chapter Nineteen

  KADENCE WOKE HALFWAY THROUGH the night with a throbbing headache, and a hand moving through her hair. A warm body pressed against her aching frame, secure and comforting. Avery’s eyes were closed as she ran her fingers through Kadence’s locks. Kadence knew she should separate herself, but her bones had turned to lead, and her nerves were unable to register anything. Soon, her eyes fluttered shut as she succumbed to the feeling of Avery’s touch.

  The next time she opened her eyes, it was morning, bright and blinding morning. Spotty memories of the previous day flashed to the front of her mind. The day had snuck up on her. It wasn’t until she was signing the studio’s monthly utility bill that she realized the date matched the password on her phone. Her stomach churned and she spent several minutes hovering above the sink before finding the strength to stand on her own two feet again. She immediately fell into a somber mood, which spiraled into loneliness. No family. No lover. Melody was getting married. Everyone was leaving. As much as she wanted her sister’s happiness, she couldn’t help but wonder if happiness was ever in the cards for herself.

  Kadence clenched her fist to ward away the negative emotions, only to find it pressed flush against something soft. Clenching it again, she heard a groan, or rather, a moan. Her eyes burst open, burning her retinas in the light. When her pupils adjusted to the searing sun, she found Avery staring back at her, mouth agape with anxious, amber eyes. Kadence looked at her hand, specifically the one she had clenched. She had been groping Avery in her sleep.

  “Oh, my god!” She pulled her hand away, cheeks aflame. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She ricocheted from the bed. Her hands grasped at her skull in a futile attempt to keep the room from spinning. Where are my pants?

  “Easy there.” Avery inched toward her, placing her hand on Kadence’s forearm. “You had a lot to drink last night.”

  Kadence nodded, trying to collect her bearings and last shred of dignity.

  Avery seemed to read her mind. “We didn’t do anything. I just held you and played with your hair a little. Your pants are there.” She gestured to the floor. “You didn’t want to put anything else on. And I didn’t want to force you while you were drunk.”

  Kadence sighed, head still in a daze as Avery nudged a trashcan by her feet.

  “Thanks,” Kadence managed to mutter.

  They sat in silence, and not the comfortable kind. She could feel Avery’s eyes pinned to her, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Kadence knew she owed her an explanation, regardless of how embarrassed she felt.

  “I’ll be back.” Avery swung her feet across the bed, breaking the silence. She was still dressed in her typical day clothes. That meant she had no intention to stay.

  Stay. Hazy memories flashed behind her eyes. Avery holding her, rocking her, humming to her. She thought she had heard Melody’s voice last night as well but couldn’t recall seeing her. Surely, if Melody had come, her sister would have stayed, right? But Melody was nowhere in sight. It was just she and Avery in the apartment.

  The wooden floorboard released a small squeak. Avery stood in the doorway, hair disheveled from sleep and one sock slipping off her foot. She carried a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of pain killers in the other. A hurricane swirled in Kadence’s stomach. And not from the alcohol.

  “I hope you don’t mind, I went looking through your cabinets.” Avery handed her the remedy. Kadence downed the pills, gulping every last drop of water. Avery extended her palm. For a moment Kadence almost laced her fingers between Avery’s before realizing she was offering to take the empty glass. She cleared her throat, hoping the blush on her face would go unnoticed as she surrendered the cup.

  “I’m sorry for my behavior last night…” She bit her lip, voice weary. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

  Avery placed a hand on her knee. “Hey, I’m here for you.”

  Her skin scorched under Avery’s palm. Maybe she was still a little drunk. Confused by her body’s reaction, she shifted away, but not before catching the way Avery’s expression fell, though she feigned a quick smile.

  “Last night, you asked me to come here. Do you remember why?”

  Kadence paused for a moment. She recalled wanting to be with someone, yearning to be able to love again. She remembered the hunger in her chest to just be close to somebody. To Avery.

  Kadence nodded, feeling ashamed. “I shouldn’t have put you in that position. It was—”

  Avery shook her head, fingers slipping around her wrist. “I’m glad you did.”

  Kadence flexed her jaw. “I’m usually not like that. It’s just…” She could feel Avery’s eyes on her as she choked on the words. The warm glow of her stare made it that much harder to continue.

  “I’m not going to make you talk about anything you don’t want to. I just wanted to say thank you.”

  “What? Why? Shouldn’t I be—”

  “Because you let me in.” Avery’s smile was enough to send Kadence’s heart twirling. “I don’t know all the details and you don’t have to tell me them
if you don’t want to. If you’re not comfortable enough around me. Or if you don’t trust me...” Avery averted her gaze as she trailed off.

  Kadence hated the way the words made her own heart constrict.

  “Anyway.” Avery sighed. “If you do though, I’d be honored to listen to anything you want to share.”

  Overwhelmed by her sincerity, Kadence threw her arms around Avery’s neck. Her response was rigid at first, but soon dissolved as she wrapped her arms around her waist. Kadence nestled her face into her hair, whispering an honest thank you. Their embrace lingered until a warmth crept into Kadence’s cheeks and a rosy flush coated Avery’s skin.

  “I was just—”

  “Sorry, I—”

  They both said at the same time, blushing even harder.

  “Sorry, you—”

  “No, you go—”

  The two spoke over one another a second time, bashful of their clumsy conversation. Avery placed her left hand on her own mouth, waving her right in a circular motion for Kadence to go ahead. The sight made Kadence feel young again, giggling at Avery’s theatrical behavior.

  “Yesterday was Iris’ birthday.” The words were thick on her tongue as the name of her former lover weighed on her heart. “She would have been twenty-seven.”

  Avery nodded, allowing Kadence a moment to collect herself.

  “We met when we were still in college. She was two years older than me. Iris was the epitome of the girl next door.”

  Avery offered her a sad smile as she reminisced. Kadence found her attention drawn to the downward curl of her lips and wondered how she could possibly fathom thinking about someone else while speaking about Iris. She blinked away the distraction, trying to properly pay tribute to the girl who once was her world.

  “She was so pure and kind.” Kadence let out a single puff of air through her nose, a laugh, but a sad one, full of yearning and loss. “I’ll be turning twenty-five this year…older than she ever made it to.”

  She saw Avery calculating in her head, the side of her hand grazing against Kadence’s clammy one.

  “Two, almost three years. I know, I should be starting to move on.”

  Avery shook her head, placing a hand on Kadence’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. It will always hurt. My dad died years ago, but I still miss him, some days more than others. But I still miss him. Every. Single. Day. And sometimes, it’s nice. In a sick kinda way, I guess. Because it keeps his memory alive.”

  Kadence could relate all too well. “It’s haunting.” She subdued the lump in her throat.

  “It doesn’t have to be a memory that burdens you.”

  Kadence disagreed. “Love is just a burden. You’re just asking to get hurt.”

  Avery paused, as a challenging tension fell on them. She sought out Kadence’s eyes, searching with tenderness. “Do you believe that?”

  All the bubbling in her stomach and pounding in her chest surged toward the surface, rendering her speechless. Kadence knew she could no longer stave off the way she was gravitating toward Avery. Their eyes connected. The amber twinkle sent an urge to her lips as she felt Avery leaning. Kadence fought to retract herself.

  “Do you wanna get breakfast?” Kadence stood abruptly.

  Avery blinked. “Uhh, sure.”

  “Let me treat you. As a thank you for yesterday before I have to get ready for yoga.”

  It was a lie. She didn’t teach on Tuesdays. And Avery knew it, too. She’d been taking Kadence to and from classes long enough to know her schedule by now. Avery didn’t call her out on her fabricated excuse. Though she felt guilty, Kadence needed time to think. The two eventually parted ways with a strained, yet comforting hug. Kadence hated the way she chased after the heat of Avery’s arms.

  ***

  Kadence needed familiarity, and she knew exactly the person to help ground her. She made her way downtown. She knocked twice, fiddling with her hands as she waited for the door to swing open.

  “Hey.” She could sense Melody observing her with something on the tip of her tongue. But her sister refused to say it out loud. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

  “Really? Why?”

  Instead of answering her questions, her sister responded with a set of her own. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at Avery’s? Or at least with her?” Melody tugged her inside, making them both a cup of tea.

  Kadence settled at the island, observing the open-concept apartment. A pile of cardboard boxes had accumulated in the corner of the living area. A few were already sealed with tape—boxed up memories, good and bad, ready to find a new home. What used to make her stomach twist in knots now filled her with jittery anticipation.

  “How’s that coming along? Need some help?”

  Melody followed her line of sight, taking one last sip of her drink. The clink of her mug against the granite was the only sound. “I know you’re not here to help me pack, Kae. What’s up?” Melody’s fingertips drummed against the side of her mug, hand hooked under the handle.

  “I can’t spend some time with my beautiful big sister? My favorite blonde in the whole wide world?”

  Melody rolled her eyes. “Sarcasm is not appreciated. Besides, I’m not your favorite blonde.”

  Kadence knew what her sister was insinuating. Kadence quickly dropped her gaze to her cup. She swirled the steaming liquid, watching it funnel into a spiral before evening out again.

  Melody’s eyes were still on her. She could feel them. “Avery’s your new favorite blonde.” The statement was accompanied by an expression Melody had never worn before, something caught between a scowl, a smirk, and a glimmering endearment.

  It made Kadence’s cheeks flush red. “We’re uhh…just friends.” Hiding her blush behind her cup, she took another long drink.

  Melody snorted. “That’s why you called her last night instead of me.”

  That caught her attention. “So, you were there?” Her theory had been correct. But then, that meant Melody willingly left her with Avery.

  Her sister observed her with an amused look. “Wow, forgetting me already? I haven’t moved yet, you little shit.”

  “I—”

  Melody held a hand up, cracking the slightest tilt of smile on her pressed lips. “You even shooed me away.”

  She then proceeded to mimic what Kadence assumed were her hand gestures from the previous night, swatting at the air with a chuckle. Except, it wasn’t just a chuckle. It was a laugh. A genuine, real laugh. Kadence was speechless. It was as though Melody had transported three years earlier, before the entire ordeal. And they were just sitting in the kitchen making breakfast after a long night out, laughing about their night of wild antics.

  “I’m going to be straight with you for a second. And yes, I’m aware that you are gay.”

  Kadence glared, poking her tongue out.

  “I’m not your first choice anymore, Kae,” Melody said with a pause, brown eyes probing for something Kadence couldn’t identify.

  Suddenly, Kadence felt a blend of guilt and self-consciousness. She forced her body to sit taller, despite worrying a lip. Her sister offered her a gently outstretched hand, linking their fingers across the countertop.

  “I’m not your number one,” Melody repeated, softer this time. “And I haven’t been for a while.”

  Kadence itched to say something to console her sister, but Melody just smiled, running her thumb across Kadence’s knuckles.

  “I’m not saying it in a bad way, believe it or not. You know I didn’t like her at first, and I’m still not a hundred percent about her, to be honest. But I trust you.” Patient eyes bore into Kadence’s. “And you trust her. So…it’s okay if you’re depending on her more—”

  “I just didn’t want to burden you.”

  Her sister glared at her choice of words. “You’re not a burden.”

  Kadence gave her hand a squeeze. Melody didn’t miss a beat and reciprocated the gesture. A part of her wanted to prove to her sister t
hat she was still her go-to person, her number one. But another part of her, the distressed and conflicted part of her, yearned to be comforted by warm arms covered in acrylic paint. Things were changing all around her, and the place she found her stability was now becoming a beanbag in the corner of an art studio, surrounded by canvas lined walls. She shook the thoughts from her head, refocusing her attention to the conversation at hand.

  “I want you to be able to focus on your future.” Kadence lied to her inner self. “You’re moving with Jordan and I have to be independent.”

  “And your future?” From Melody’s narrowed stare, Kadence knew she didn’t believe her either.

  “I’m okay. I don’t mind being alone.” The words left an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

  Again, her sister saw right through her walls. The same walls Kadence was trying so desperately to resurrect. Although deep down, she knew they had already been lowered. All thanks to a certain pair of amber eyes.

  “But you don’t have to be.” Melody raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want to be. I know you don’t.”

  “What do you mean?” Kadence made a half-hearted effort to play dumb and avoid the subject but couldn’t suppress the heat in her cheeks. As much as she tried to run from her feelings, Kadence knew that in this race of the heart, it was becoming evidently clear that Avery Bennett was going to come in first.

  “You know.”

  Kadence swallowed.

  “Shall I spell it out for you? There’s another blonde in your life, the one you spend every day with.”

  Kadence picked at her nail.

  “You have feelings for her. You have feelings for Avery Bennett.”

  Kadence’s breath hitched. She was positive Melody could hear her heart pounding in response to the words.

  “You’re…” Chestnut eyes scanned hers. “Scared. Not of getting hurt, but because you’re afraid that what happened to Iris might happen to Avery,” Melody declared with deadly accuracy.