Foreign Bodies

by David Wishart

  ‘You’ve found someone who knew them before they left Augusta for Lugdunum and who’s willing to talk?’ I said.

  ‘As ever is. A guy by the name of Publius Auctionus. He’s not a local, as it happens, which is probably why; retired auxiliary from one of the Tungrian cohorts, been settled here since the God Augustus was in rompers. He looks as old as Tithonus and he’s half gaga, but there’s nothing wrong with his memory. I said you’d trade him a gold piece for the information. That OK?’

  ‘No problem.’ I was frowning. It all sounded plausible, right enough, and we’d ruled Segomarus out of the running for a potential bad-’un, but I still didn’t quite trust the guy. There was something there, all right; I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it, let alone justify the feeling in the first place. I’d have to play along, sure – the chance of clearing up the Cabirus side of things was much too good to miss, and it looked like this Auctionus was the best shot I’d get at it – but I’d go cautious. ‘Look, Segus, I’m pretty busy at the moment. We can see him tomorrow.’

  Segomarus grinned. ‘The state he’s in, he could be dead by then. Besides, he’s practically in the next street from here. Come on! It shouldn’t take all that long, and you can’t be that busy.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ I said. ‘Lead on.’

  He did.

  ‘Next street’ was pushing things a bit, although not by much; it wasn’t any more than a couple of hundred yards, albeit two hundred yards off the main drag. Augusta doesn’t do slum tenements – there’s too much open space within the town limits unbuilt on for that – but the house we eventually stopped at was the one-storey equivalent, put together, by the look of it, from whatever the original builders had to hand, which wasn’t, in constructional terms, very much; the place looked like one good puff of wind would return it to its basic components. I knocked at the door.

  ‘No point in that, Corvinus,’ Segomarus said. ‘The old boy’s bedridden, in the room at the back. Just go straight in. He’s expecting us.’

  I did. After the sunlight of the street, the hallway was dark as hell. I waited for my eyes to get accustomed to the dimness …

  … at which point something smacked me hard behind the ear, and what light there was went out altogether.

  When I woke up, I was securely tied to a chair by my wrists and ankles, and my head felt twice its size, with Vulcan using it for an anvil. Segomarus was leaning against the far wall, watching me.

  ‘What the hell’s going on?’ I said. Slurred.

  ‘You’ll see in a moment.’ He walked towards the open door and put his head round the jamb. ‘That’s him awake now.’

  Sulinus came in. Followed by Julia Optima.

  I goggled. ‘What the fuck—!’

  Sulinus tutted. ‘Now, now. Ladies present.’ Optima smiled and took his arm. ‘You’re surprised? Don’t be; Optima and I have been lovers practically since I began coming here. And in case you’re wondering the choice to begin an affair was hers, as indeed was her choice of sides, made practically at the same time. So don’t form any conclusions involving the innocent little woman led astray by the wicked seducer, will you?’

  ‘We’re not Romans, Corvinus,’ Optima said. ‘There are women on the other side of the Gallic Strait who rule their tribes just as efficiently as men, and are equally respected for it. They lead them in battle, too.’ She smiled. ‘Not that I’ve any intention of doing that, you understand. It’s far too dangerous.’

  I ignored her.

  ‘Look,’ I said to Sulinus. ‘You’re not a Roman citizen, right? So when the authorities get you for this, which they will, they will literally nail you to a fucking plank and leave you to hang. Just so we’re clear on that point.’

  He chuckled. ‘Oh, I don’t think you’ll be in any position to arrange my execution, Corvinus. You’re a dead man walking yourself. Or sitting, rather, to be accurate. And you’re perfectly right; if you were found too obviously murdered like the others – a Roman purple-striper and the emperor’s personally accredited representative – there would be hell to pay. One of the two reasons that you’re still alive now – and it’s purely temporary – is that we want to make your death look like an accident.’

  A cold ball of ice was forming in my stomach. ‘Yeah? And how do you propose to do that?’

  ‘Remember the place Drutus and his servant were killed? If a person was very unlucky, a tumble there, down from the high ground, might well result in a broken neck. You, of course, would be very unlucky.’

  ‘Why the hell should I be going back there?’

  ‘I don’t know. To search for more clues, possibly. It’s a long way from being the perfect solution, I admit, but frankly it was the best we could think of at such short notice, it will at least cloud the issue, and of course you do have to die, by one means or another. Not that you’ll be going there alive, naturally; your neck will already have been broken by then. Segomarus will be taking care of that shortly.’

  Oh, shit. ‘So why this chat?’ I said. ‘Why not have done it while I was out cold?’

  ‘That’s the second reason. Please believe me, I’m not a cruel man by nature, and I’m only doing my duty as I see it. I don’t begrudge you an explanation before you go. It’s the least I can do, apart from making sure that your death will be relatively painless.’

  ‘My wife—’ I stopped, just in time. Jupiter, that had been close! What I’d been going to say was that Perilla knew he was the perp, so all the cover-ups in the world wouldn’t do him any good. Only I couldn’t say that, could I? Not with Optima standing there. They were friends, and Perilla trusted her; she wouldn’t last five minutes. ‘My wife’ll be wondering where I am. She’ll contact the authorities.’

  ‘No doubt,’ Sulinus said blandly. ‘She already knows that I was involved somewhere along the line, so perhaps trying to falsify your cause of death is pointless after all.’ Shit! Evidently, I could add mind-reading to the bastard’s accomplishments. ‘Never mind; the decision’s been taken, and this way involves very little extra trouble. She does know about me, doesn’t she?’ I didn’t reply. ‘Oh, come on, Corvinus, I’m not stupid! You must have told her on the way home from Optima’s dinner party, when you put two and two together. Which, of course, is why you’re here now, because Optima is no fool either, and she notices these things. Actually, that isn’t all that important. My part in this is over, so by the time they come looking for me I’ll be gone. And with you dead there’s no way to link me with Optima, which is the crucial thing. No, please don’t be concerned about your wife. I said: I’m neither needlessly cruel nor a villain. As long as she’s no threat she’s quite safe, believe me.’

  Well, that was something, at least. Not that it left me bubbling with cheer altogether, mind: there was still that broken neck to look forward to, and I’d try to put that off as long as possible in the hope that something turned up. Not that there was any chance of that.

  ‘OK,’ I said. ‘You want to explain to me exactly what’s been going on? Just for information.’

  ‘Naturally. I told you; that’s the other reason why you’re still alive. What have you got so far?’

  ‘That you’re working for the tribes on the other side of the Gallic Strait, what’s-his-name in particular—’

  ‘King Caratacus, yes.’

  ‘—and that you’re fomenting some sort of local revolt in an attempt to get the emperor’s campaign cancelled, or at least postponed. How exactly are you setting about that, incidentally?’

  ‘With money, first of all, quite a lot of it; gold, supplied by Caratacus and brought in by me over the past few years from Britain. I’ve been stockpiling it since just before the Emperor Gaius’s abortive attempt to invade, and by now we have a war chest of several thousand gold pieces. Crude, yes, but you’d be surprised how much money can buy in Gaul, and who it buys. Not only locals, either; you Romans are a very venal race. However, money’s not the only way, far from it. Some people – idealists, patriots, fanatics if
you like – can’t be bought, at any price.’ He put an arm around Optima’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. ‘That’s where my darling girl comes in. She’s one of them herself, you see, so she knows how to talk to them.’

  Optima’s chin lifted. ‘My ancestors were chiefs of the Treveri for half a thousand years,’ she said. ‘Julius Florus was my mother’s uncle. People here – influential people – have long memories; they don’t forget their blood or their loyalties, and they’re proud; too proud, given a choice, to knuckle down to you Romans altogether.’

  ‘And then, last but not least, there’s our druid friend,’ Sulinus said. ‘You never met him, of course, and weren’t likely to, but he’s more important than the two of us combined. He’ll give us the rank and file, the peasants. Weaponless, for the most part, barring a few hunting spears and bows, but there will be a lot of them. Hundreds. And with a druid urging them on they’ll fight to the death.’

  I just didn’t believe this. ‘Jupiter!’ I said. ‘That’s all you’re basing your revolt on? A handful of misguided aristocratic malcontents, maybe a few mercenaries in it for the cash, and a mob of yokels who wouldn’t know one end of a sword from the other? They won’t last five minutes when the regulars arrive. You haven’t the faintest chance of winning, not in a million years, any more than Florus had.’

  ‘Oh, we know that perfectly well,’ Sulinus said calmly.

  I stared at him. ‘Then why the hell—!’

  ‘We don’t expect to win; we never have. But the threat will be enough. If we can force the Roman authorities to divert sufficient troops to deal with it then the British tribes will at least have a breathing space. Caratacus is already treating with the tribes nearest to his own kingdom, persuading them to send armies of their own; a few months – more, if winter intervenes – may make all the difference.’

  ‘You know how many people will die before you’re finished?’ I said. ‘Not to mention the misery when the troops arrive and your so-called revolt is stamped flat. Which it will be before you can fucking sneeze.’

  ‘That’s a shame, but it can’t be helped. And it’s in a good cause.’

  Said without a smidgeon of emotion. My initial reaction, obviously, was that despite the matter-of-fact delivery the guy was stark raving mad; that all three of them were. Only that didn’t quite cover things, did it? Sulinus was absolutely right; Rome just couldn’t take any risks where Gaul was concerned, not this close to the Rhine with the hostile German tribes on the far bank itching to exploit any weakness, and Balbinus himself had admitted that any distraction could put the kybosh on the emperor’s campaign plans, at least for the time being. Plus the fact that, yes, I had to admit it, we had a clash of genuine principles here: traitors in Roman terms Sulinus and Optima might be, but not by their own reckoning; they had their own loyalties, and alien as they were they were as valid as ours.

  Bugger.

  ‘So Drutus and Anda had to be got rid of before they blew the whistle prematurely?’ I said.

  ‘Yes.’ Sulinus frowned. ‘We knew – we’ve known for months – that they were spying for Claudius’s lapdog Verica, and so for Governor Hister, but we also knew they were getting nowhere, or nowhere important, anyway. Certainly they didn’t suspect me, not to mention Optima. That all changed when Tarbeisus arrived. I have to admit that it was my own stupid fault; I’m not sure what slip I made exactly that afternoon when we were chatting in the wineshop, but I could see that he’d noticed and it puzzled him. Plus, of course – and far worse – that Drutus’s man Anda had overheard and noticed in his turn. By chance I was already planning to meet with our druid friend that evening outside town. It wasn’t difficult to arrange things so the pair of them followed me – secretly, or so they thought – to the rendezvous, and Segomarus here was already in place, lying hidden in the bushes. He was able to catch them almost completely unawares while they eavesdropped, and that was that. Then naturally we got rid of Tarbeisus as well. Just in case.’

  ‘Right,’ I said. ‘I was wondering how our Burdigalan pal came into it.’ Segomarus grinned at me, but said nothing. ‘You two had met before, yes?’

  ‘Actually no, we hadn’t. Oh, we knew of each other’s existence; he was in Augusta for a purpose, as I was, and he’d been instructed to make contact as soon as he got here.’

  ‘Instructed by your British friends?’

  ‘Yes, indeed. By Caratacus personally, in fact. But he’s no Burdigalan; he’s never been to Burdigala, no more than I’ve been to Caesarodunum. He came here by a very roundabout route, of course, for reasons of security, but he’s spent most of the past twenty years at King Caratacus’s court.’

  I turned my attention to Segomarus. ‘Is that so, now?’ I said.

  ‘That, Corvinus, is so,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry, but there you are. I’m more British than Gaulish nowadays, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Uh-huh. So why exactly did you come? Or were sent, rather?’

  ‘To Augusta? Because I still had friends here. Old comrades-in-arms, people who knew and trusted me from the time of the Florus revolt, that I could put Sulinus in touch with and the other way round. Save him a lot of time and trouble, not to mention minimizing the risk of sounding out the wrong ones and so maybe putting the whole conspiracy in jeopardy. A twenty years’ absence is a long time, sure, I look a lot different from how I did before, intentionally so, and naturally I had a different name, but like Optima told you people here have long memories. Some things they don’t forget.’ He was watching me, still smiling. ‘Come on, Corvinus, you’re being thick! I’d expected better! You haven’t got there yet?’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I promised you I’d help you solve the Cabirus family side of things, and I always keep my promises. I reckon you owe me a jug of wine. Not that you’ll be in any position to honour your side of the bargain, mind, but under the circumstances we’ll let it go.’

  Oh, shit: the penny finally dropped. ‘You’re Licnus,’ I said. ‘Diligenta’s brother.’

  ‘Congratulations. Give the man the nuts.’

  Sweet gods! ‘Does she know? Your sister?’

  ‘Of course she does. Why do you think I went back to Lugdunum before I came on here? I had to see her while I was in Gaul. We were always close, her and me.’

  ‘You’re saying she knew all the time?’ I was still trying to take it in. ‘Right from the start?’

  ‘No. For all she knew – for all any of them knew – I was dead and gone. The last Diligenta saw of me was here, the time of the revolt, and precious little then. I had to run to save my skin, and bloody fast, at that. I ran all the way to Britain, where you Romans couldn’t get me, and I’ve been there ever since. Wife, family, the lot. I said: nowadays I’m far more a Catuvellaunan than I am a Gaul. Only I couldn’t let the opportunity slip, could I? Even if it did take me a bit out of my way.’

  Things were beginning to add up. ‘Titus,’ I said. ‘He knew too.’

  ‘I told him myself, right after I told Diligenta. Made a point of it. He’s a good lad, my nephew. Pity he’s chosen the wrong side, but I bear him no ill-will for that; he’s sound enough at heart, and young enough to change his mind. He’ll see Rome for what she is, in the end.’

  ‘What about the other boy? Publius?’

  ‘No, Publius doesn’t know who I am. Or I assume he doesn’t, unless either Diligenta or Titus let it out. I’m afraid I don’t have much time for young Publius. The lad’s a milksop.’

  ‘All this – telling your sister and your nephew, I mean – would’ve been before your brother-in-law’s death, would it?’

  That got me a bland look. ‘Shortly before, yes. As it happens.’

  ‘And there would be a connection?’

  ‘There might be. But I’ve said all I’m saying.’ He glanced at Sulinus, who’d been watching the exchange with a smile on his lips. ‘He’s had enough time. Let’s get it over with.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ Sulinus said. My blood ran cold. ‘Optima and I w
ill leave you to it. The wagon’s round the back. We can take the body out of town as soon as it gets dark.’ He hesitated, then turned to me. ‘Goodbye, Valerius Corvinus. You won’t believe me, I know, but I am truly sorry about this, and about the other deaths. I wish none of it had been necessary. However, there really is too much at stake. It has to be done.’

  ‘Yeah. Right.’ I felt sick.

  They left. Optima didn’t even give me a backward glance.

  ‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too,’ Segomarus – Licnus – said. ‘You were good company, Corvinus, and I’m not a killer either by nature. Even so—’

  He moved towards me. I tugged desperately on the ropes, but I was tied securely, wrists and ankles. If I could just overbalance the chair, maybe, head-butt the bastard in the chest—

  I almost made it; near enough, anyway, for him to take a cautious step back. Which was when fate in its most unlikely and unexpected guise took a hand …

  He’d obviously been waiting, hidden, outside somewhere until Sulinus and Optima had gone. Now he edged in and came up on Licnus from behind. There was no messing, either; whatever he was holding – it might’ve been a table leg – came down on the other guy’s head with a solid thump. Licnus folded up and lay at my feet like a wrung-out dishrag.

  ‘So,’ I said to Crinas when he’d untied me and used the ropes to tie up the still-unconscious and seriously damaged Segomarus/Licnus. ‘What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were on your way to Moguntiacum.’

  He grinned. ‘Yes, well, I’m afraid I have a small admission to make.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Gods, today was just chock-full of surprises, wasn’t it? ‘And what’s that, now? Believe me, if it can explain how the fuck you knew I’d be in a crumbling Gallic shack tied to a chair and about to have my neck broken, let alone why you should be on hand to help in the first place, then “small” isn’t the word I’d use for it, pal. Not that I’m not grateful, mind.’