Atticus Claw Goes Ashore

by Jennifer Gray

  ‘Maybe,’ Jimmy agreed gruffly.

  Slasher winked at Thug. They were talking him round!

  ‘With lovely fluffy towels and a beautiful lady magpie singing to you under the stars,’ Thug sighed. ‘Chaka-chaka-chaka-chaka-chaka.’

  For a moment the magpies forgot about the wind and the heaving of the boat and the dreadful smell coming from Thug’s feet. They imagined they were on holiday in paradise.

  ‘That would be nice,’ Jimmy admitted.

  ‘And a five-star tree-house hotel with a catskin on the floor …’ Slasher said softly.

  ‘I can see it in my head, Boss,’ Thug sighed. ‘It’s got brown and black stripes with four white corners, and a red bit in the middle made out of a handkerchief.’

  ‘Atticus Claw,’ Jimmy said dreamily.

  ‘If only!’ Thug sighed.

  ‘I wish!’ Slasher nodded.

  ‘Maybe,’ Jimmy said.

  ‘It’s not like you even have to go through with it,’ Slasher tried again.

  ‘Yeah, you can say you want one of them long hen-gagements,’ Thug said. ‘And then get the mermaid to dump her somewhere before the wedding.’

  That decided it.

  ‘Okay,’ Jimmy said. ‘I’ll go and tell her now.’

  Atticus had the wind in his whiskers. He felt proud of himself. He had improved so much at sailing since Bones came on board that Mr Tucker had even asked him to take the wheel again. And it was fun, too.

  Bones was a good teacher. She taught him how to hoist the sails and change direction safely without knocking Inspector Cheddar overboard. She taught him how to tie knots and operate the winch. It was through Bones that Atticus discovered that a halyard was the rope that hoisted the sail and a sheet was the one that controlled it. She explained that the best way to avoid seasickness was to look at the horizon. Best of all she showed him how to dangle a line over the side and catch fresh sardines. Atticus had never tasted anything as delicious as those fresh sardines. He didn’t think he could have a better friend than Bones.

  ‘It’s good to see you two getting along so well,’ Mrs Tucker remarked.

  Atticus purred.

  ‘Aye,’ Mr Tucker said. ‘You make a grand crew.’

  Atticus glowed with pride.

  Mr Tucker checked his charts against Fishhook Frank’s map and glanced at the horizon. ‘By my reckoning we’ll be at the Sea of Calamity in no time.’

  ‘Do you think we’ll get to the mermaid before Black Beard-Jumper does?’ Mrs Tucker said in a low voice. ‘The kids are really worried about their dad.’

  Atticus was too. It was Tuesday: only three days now until the curse was expected to strike. Inspector Cheddar had taken to his bunk to write poetry. He had a permanent air of melancholy about him. He didn’t even seem cross with Atticus any more, which was usually a sign that he had something else on his mind.

  ‘I’s not worried about that,’ Mr Tucker reassured her. ‘I’s reckons Black Beard-Jumper’s only a day’s sailing ahead of us. And we’s got the advantage of a smaller ship.’ His eyes twinkled. ‘Besides, if we plan it right, we can use the Golden Doubloon as a decoy once we get to the Ocean of Terror.’

  ‘What do you mean, Herman?’ Mrs Tucker asked. She offered Atticus some cat biscuits. He took them gratefully. The kids were right. Sailing was hungry work when you did it properly. Even cat biscuits tasted good.

  ‘Those pirates stink like a heap of camel dung,’ Mr Tucker explained. ‘The man-eating plankton will smell ’em a mile off. Once they swarm on board and start gnashing, it’ll be each man for himself. The Doubloon will begin to wallow. That’s when the lobster and the squid will strike. With any luck the whole ship will go down. Them what’s left will have to take to the lifeboats. Meanwhile we sneak past and get to Volcano Island ahead of them.’

  Atticus thought that sounded like an excellent plan. He’d started having nightmares about the man-eating plankton chomping at his fur and nipping his whiskers.

  Bones dropped down lightly on the deck beside him. ‘Look,’ she said.

  Atticus raised his eyes. The sky was darkening. It was getting foggy. Ahead of them a series of white-capped peaks stretched into the distance. ‘Is that land?’ he asked, puzzled.

  ‘No, Atticus,’ Bones replied cheerfully, ‘they’re waves. That’s the Sea of Calamity. We’re nearly there.’

  Atticus could hardly believe it. The waves were like mountains, each one higher than the last. The Destiny would never get through it.

  ‘Don’t worry, Atticus,’ Bones whispered. ‘We’ll be all right. Just remember what I’ve taught you.’

  ‘Tell the children to stay below,’ Mr Tucker ordered.

  Mrs Cheddar did as she was bid.

  ‘Right, crew,’ Mr Tucker said in a businesslike voice. ‘You know what to do. Get to your stations. Clip yourselves on.’

  The five of them took up their positions on the ship. They clipped on their safety lines.

  ‘Here goes!’

  They had reached the Sea of Calamity.

  The ship began to climb the first wave. Atticus’s duty was to man the jib; the smaller of the two triangular sails. It fluttered as the wind caught it the other side. This time Atticus knew what to do. He loosened the rope, waiting for Mr Tucker’s order. They had nearly reached the pinnacle of the wave.

  ‘Ready about!’ Mr Tucker yelled. Everyone ducked.

  The jib boom swung across. The sail filled with wind. The ship lurched forward. Atticus fastened the rope. Mrs Tucker and Mrs Cheddar gave him the thumbs up. They were on the mainsail, doing the same thing. Bones was scurrying about, keeping things shipshape.

  ‘Hold on!’

  The ship pitched down the other side of the wave on its new tack.

  Atticus didn’t have time to feel afraid. One by one, waves rolled towards the ship, each one higher than the last. He battled with the jib as the ship tacked this way and that, trying to keep the movements of the sail under control, heaving on the rope until his paws were raw. The sea was like a rollercoaster. Up and down they went. It was hard to know which was worse: the perilous climb to the top of the wave with the towering water about to break over them, or the fearful lurch in the pit of Atticus’s stomach when they crested the wave and the boat began to fall.

  They battled on and on, Mr Tucker at the helm roaring encouragement when their spirits began to fade.

  Finally, after what seemed like hours, the waves subsided. The mist cleared. They found themselves sailing once again on a smooth flat sea. They had survived the first obstacle. The Sea of Calamity was behind them.

  ‘Well done, Atticus!’ Bones said. ‘You can have a break now.’

  ‘Thanks!’ Atticus padded towards the cabin. His muscles felt weak. His legs were wobbly. Bones bounced after him. It was amazing how much energy she had! All Atticus wanted to do was lie down on a comfy bed and have a long sleep. But he knew there wasn’t time for that. The Whirlpool of Doom was only minutes away.

  ‘Good work, crew!’ Mr Tucker congratulated them from the cockpit.

  Michael and Callie were waiting for them below. Their faces were white.

  Mrs Cheddar hugged them. So did Mrs Tucker.

  ‘It’s all right,’ Mrs Cheddar said. ‘Everyone’s safe. How’s Dad?’

  ‘Terrible,’ a voice groaned. Inspector Cheddar staggered into the cabin with his notebook.

  Atticus looked at him in alarm. Inspector Cheddar’s eyes were bulging. His face was green. ‘Can anyone think of a word that rhymes with verruca?’ he asked plaintively.

  Atticus felt Bones put a paw on his shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, Atticus, it’s just seasickness. If it was the curse of the black spot his eyeballs would have exploded by now.’

  ‘Oh, er, thanks,’ Atticus meowed. ‘That’s good to know.’

  Just then, he heard a familiar cry. ‘All hands on deck!’ It was Mr Tucker.

  ‘The Whirlpool of Doom,’ Bones announced. ‘Come on!’ She raced up the cabin steps to join M
r Tucker. Atticus chased after her with Mrs Tucker and Mrs Cheddar.

  ‘Can’t we help, Mum?’ Callie begged.

  ‘No,’ Mrs Cheddar said firmly, ‘it’s too dangerous. Batten down the hatches and look after Dad.’

  Michael closed the cabin doors.

  Back on deck, the five crew members clipped themselves back on.

  They were just in time. The sea was churning. Not up and down like it had been before. This was even worse. Atticus couldn’t get his balance. The ship yawed from side to side. It was as if they were caught in a giant washing machine. It was all he could do to keep his footing.

  ‘It’s pulling us in!’ Mr Tucker shouted.

  To his horror, Atticus could feel the sea tugging at the boat. He glanced upwards. The two sails were full of wind. The boat should be going forwards! But it wasn’t. An invisible force was pulling it in the opposite direction.

  ‘Over there, Atticus.’ Bones was beside him. ‘Look.’ She pointed to the stern.

  Atticus stared. There was a huge hole in the sea behind them!

  ‘It’s the whirlpool!’

  Atticus could hardly believe his eyes. Spirals of seawater rippled towards the hole, like a pattern on a shell. The nearer they got, the choppier the water became. Around the edge of the hole the sea swirled in angry torrents. He had never seen anything so terrifying in his life before.

  ‘We need more sail!’ Mr Tucker shouted. ‘Quick! It’s taking us down.’

  The ship was being drawn closer to the seething whirlpool. Atticus could feel it starting to move in slow circles of its own. The ship couldn’t compete with the power of the sea.

  ‘I can’t hold her!’ Mr Tucker wrestled with the wheel. The ship twisted and groaned. ‘Edna, hoist the spinnaker! I’ll try and get her downwind.’

  ‘I can’t, Herman! It’s all we can do to hold the mainsail!’ Mrs Tucker and Mrs Cheddar hung on grimly to the ropes. ‘If we let go now, we’re finished.’

  ‘Bones!’ Mr Tucker shouted in desperation. ‘You and Atticus will have to do it.’

  Atticus felt himself freeze. The spinnaker was the big balloon-like sail at the front of the boat. It was one thing hoisting it on a calm sea in nice weather. This was something completely different. ‘Don’t worry, Atticus, you can do it.’ Bones set off along the deck to secure the pole. Atticus struggled after her.

  Atticus held the bag while Bones wrestled with the colourful sail, wrapping her body round it so that it didn’t fly away. Atticus looked on as she clipped it expertly to the ropes. It flapped and tugged in the wind, nearly throwing her off. ‘Pull on the halyard!’ Bones cried. ‘I’ll take the sheets. We need to trim it just right or we might lose it.’

  Atticus understood what she meant. Trimming the sail meant allowing it to fill with just the right amount of wind at just the right moment. Bones had to keep the wind out of the spinnaker until it reached the top or it might get twisted around the mast.

  ‘Okay, go!’ Bones dropped down on to the deck and raced back to the cockpit.

  Atticus heaved at the rope. His back paws slid along the deck.

  ‘Use the winch!’ Bones shouted.

  Atticus grabbed the winch handle. He fixed it into the socket and took hold of it in his front paws. He began to turn the handle.

  ‘Keep going!’

  Atticus’s muscles screamed with pain. It wasn’t that the winch was stiff. It was the effort of keeping his balance as the ship plunged about in the boiling sea. But he did as Bones told him. The spinnaker inched up the mast, flapping like a crazy bird. He glanced back. The whirlpool was getting nearer. The ship was being drawn in. He gritted his teeth and pushed on.

  Finally the sail reached the top of the mast.

  Atticus collapsed, panting on the deck. He could feel the ship circling towards the whirlpool. He saw Bones secure the first of the two sheets with a winch. Then she leapt across to the other side of the cockpit and grabbed the other. She held the sheet loosely in her paws, her tail high so that she could tell the direction of the wind. She would have to get it just right. Atticus saw her tail twitch; her body stiffening as she tightened the sheet.

  BOOMPH! The spinnaker filled with wind. It ballooned out in a great billow of colour.

  Atticus felt the ship leap forward. It shot away from the churning edge of the whirlpool. It zipped through the shell-like spirals and out into clear water.

  The two cats embraced. ‘We did it, Atticus!’ Bones said, her eyes shining.

  Atticus breathed a sigh of relief. For the time being anyway, they were safe!

  To Jimmy’s horror, Thug’s advice proved to be wrong. Pam the Parrot had insisted on getting married as soon as possible.

  ‘We can’t!’ he protested. ‘There’s no one here who can do it. We need a vicar or something.’

  ‘Oh no we don’t, Jim!’ Pam contradicted. ‘The Captain is licensed to perform wedding ceremonies at sea. Let’s do it before we get to the Ocean of Terror.’

  As soon as the Golden Doubloon had passed safely through the Storm of Stupefaction, Pam dragged Jimmy to the Captain’s cabin and closed the door.

  Thug and Slasher looked on through a windowpane. Captain Black Beard-Jumper was sitting at his desk. Pam fluttered up to his shoulder and started to squawk something in English. The Captain let out a huge roar of laughter. Then he put on a solemn face and stood up.

  Pam flew down to the floor, gripped Jimmy in a wing-lock and hoicked him on to the desk.

  ‘This is it!’ Slasher said excitedly.

  ‘I never got to wear a hat,’ Thug sighed.

  ‘It wouldn’t fit you anyway, not with the way your feathers are all puffed out,’ Slasher consoled him.

  Thug’s head looked twice as big as normal. So did his body.

  ‘I feel all jingly-jangly,’ he complained. ‘Since I got hit by that bolt of lightning in the Storm of Stupid.’

  ‘The Storm of Stupefaction,’ Slasher corrected him. ‘Not the Storm of Stupid.’

  The Golden Doubloon had navigated the storm intact, all except for Thug.

  ‘Stupefaction means getting whacked so you don’t know what’s going on, like what you did,’ Slasher explained. ‘Whereas stupid just means dumb, like what you are. D’you get it?’

  ‘No,’ said Thug

  Inside the cabin, Captain Black Beard-Jumper reached in his pocket and produced a metal bird ring. He held it out to Jimmy.

  Jimmy took it reluctantly. Pam thrust her gnarled foot towards him. Jimmy slipped the ring over her scaly talons with difficulty.

  ‘By the power invested in me as the Captain of the Golden Doubloon, I now pronounce you magpie and wife!’ Captain Black Beard-Jumper proclaimed. ‘You may kiss the bride.’

  Pam puckered up. Jimmy looked as if he was about to be sick.

  ‘Eerrrggh.’ Slasher shivered. ‘I feel sorry for the Boss.’

  ‘Me too.’ Thug pulled a face. ‘Imagine kissing that! I’d rather kiss Wal’s bum.’

  ‘I hope that mermaid fixes her good and proper,’ Slasher said.

  The ceremony over, the Captain threw open the door and strode out, his big boots clomping along the deck.

  Thug and Slasher flew round to the cabin door to greet the happy couple.

  All they could hear was squawking. It was Pam.

  ‘Don’t give me any more of your excuses, Jim, get up there and mend the crow’s nest,’ Pam screeched.

  ‘What’s got into her?’ Thug whispered.

  ‘I dunno,’ Slasher replied. ‘And when you’ve done that there’s a mirror to hang in our hatch. Make sure you get the hook in the right place. And then there’s my poo bucket to clean. I can’t poo in a dirty bucket.’

  ‘Why can’t you clean your own poo bucket?’ Jimmy snapped back.

  ‘I’m busy!’ Pam squawked. ‘Now get on with it!’ Pam flew off after the Captain.

  Jimmy paced up and down the cabin, muttering to himself.

  ‘All right, Boss?’ Slasher said nervously.


  Jimmy gave him a filthy look. ‘I should never have let you talk me into this. All she does is nag, nag, nag. She only wanted to get married so I’d do all her jobs for her.’ He advanced on Thug, his eyes glittering. ‘This is your fault. You said we could have a long engagement.’

  ‘Not far to go now though, Boss, until we get to Volcano Island,’ Thug said hastily. ‘Then the mermaid can mash her.’

  ‘With any luck she’ll get mangled by the man-eating plankton first,’ Slasher said. ‘Did she tell you where the casket is?’ He hopped sideways out of Jimmy’s way.

  ‘Not yet,’ Jimmy said bitterly. ‘She’s saving it for our wedding night.’

  ‘That’s tonight, Boss!’ Thug exclaimed.

  ‘I know, you dimwit!’ Jimmy pecked his tail.

  Just then there was a shout from the brig. The foghorn sounded.

  They were approaching the Ocean of Terror: the most dangerous part of the voyage so far.

  The magpies hopped outside the cabin.

  ‘Where is everyone?’ Thug wondered.

  The Golden Doubloon was eerily silent. The only noise was the slop-slap of gentle waves hitting the bow, and the groaning of the sails as the wind pushed them slowly towards their destination.

  ‘On watch,’ Jimmy said shortly. ‘Look.’ The pirates stood around the ship’s rail. Each and every man had his eyes focused on the sea. Most of them had their cutlasses at the ready. A few had drawn pistols. They were watching for the man-eating plankton.

  ‘I reckon we’ll be safer higher up.’ Jimmy flew up into the rigging towards the crow’s nest. Slasher and Thug fluttered after him. They perched in a line peering down at the men below.

  ‘I don’t like this,’ Thug whispered.

  ‘Neither do I,’ Slasher cawed softly.

  The foghorn sounded again.

  FONK! FONK! FONK!

  All of a sudden the ship was enveloped in thick yellow mist.

  ‘What happened?’ Thug squawked.

  ‘I can’t see!’ Slasher sobbed.

  The two magpies clung to one another, shivering with fear.

  Down below there was a shout from one of the pirates, followed by a scream.