Looks Unimportant...Sense of Humour Essential

by Evie Evans

  It was now or never for Winston.

  14 Winston

  Mrs Williams was already at the courthouse when she got there. Lucy had taken a couple of headache pills before leaving which had reduced the pain down to a dull thud. She just hoped this would be enough to get her through the next couple of hours.

  A middle aged man arrived carrying a wire cage. Lucy noticed he had a number of intricate tattoos all up his arms and neck which seemed to be parts of a map. Lucy didn’t want to find out where to.

  “Winnie!” Mrs Williams cried and ran towards him. The man shielded the cage with his body to stop her getting near it.

  “Winnie? Let me see him!” she shouted, clawing at who Lucy presumed was her ex-husband. Lucy rushed to her side.

  “Get ‘er off us!” the man shouted at Lucy.

  Lucy grasped Mrs Williams’ arm and managed to get her attention. “Perhaps you could let Mrs Williams see Winston to verify his wellbeing?” she asked him.

  “In the court,” he told her gruffly then pushed passed her to go inside.

  “Oh!” Mrs Williams wailed and started crying again. Lucy didn’t advise her to stop, she thought her emotion would be good for their case, but she put an arm round her, calming her cries from ear-piercing shrieks to heartbreaking sobs.

  The atmosphere in the courtroom seemed to awe Mrs Williams into silence when they entered. Lucy had to stop her rushing over to the defendants table to see Winston and steered her firmly to their seats. The scene outside and her hangover had dampened Lucy’s nerves but they were coming back with a vengeance now. This wasn’t her first court case but she hadn’t done that many that she felt at ease like some of the older lawyers. The case may be a joke to people like Leander Brooke but it was very serious for Mrs Williams.

  She prayed their evidence was going to be enough as the judge entered the room. A man, she noted, as she dragged Mrs Williams to her feet, practically having to hold her upright such was the effect of her emotions on her. Lucy had hoped for a female judge thinking she might be more sympathetic but obviously it was not meant to be. Their elderly judge looked a little gruff. Lucy hoped this case wouldn’t be a joke to him.

  “Are we serious about this?” the judge asked straight off, rubbing his bald head.

  Oh dear. Lucy stood up and took a deep breath, trying to batten down the butterflies in her stomach. “Yes your honour. Very serious. Mrs Williams is being denied her beloved companion by her ex-husband which has forced her to bring this case against him today.”

  “She can’t have him. I bought him,” Mr Williams interjected before his lawyer could stop him.

  “The defendant must not shout out in court,” the judge told him sternly. “Miss Davenport, can you prove that the rat belongs to Mrs, er, Williams is it?”

  “Yes your honour,” Lucy confirmed, gripping the table for support.

  “Rubbish,” Mr Williams barked before his lawyer could stop him, “I can prove my paternity, I got a receipt here.”

  “Mr Williams, I hope you are not trying to tell the court you fathered a rat?” the judge asked causing some snickering from people at the back of the court. “Miss Davenport, what evidence do you have?”

  “Mrs Williams took care of the pet and we have photographic evidence she enjoyed a close relationship with it. Him, I mean. Mr Williams may have purchased the rat but it was presented as a gift to her and we have sworn statements from two witnesses at a birthday party which testify to this.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Mr Williams started shouting, “they were all so piss–”

  The judge’s gavel came crashing down, stopping him. “Mr Hodges, kindly warn your client he will be held in contempt of court if he interrupts again, especially with that sort of language.”

  Mrs Williams had started sobbing again so Lucy shamelessly gave her a hug to play on the court’s sympathy knowing it would feed Mrs Williams tears. It was a good display for the judge, crying woman on one side, swearing interrupter on the other.

  “Miss Davenport, perhaps you could have your client desist?” the judge asked as Mrs Williams’ tears turned to wails again.

  “Sorry your honour,” Lucy told him respectfully, “she’s just so upset about Winston.”

  “He’s my baby,” Mrs Williams said, pausing for a moment between wails.

  “Somebody shut her up for God’s sake!” Mr Williams shouted across the courtroom.

  *

  “Good hearing was it?” Mr Knowles asked seeing Lucy back in her office later that morning, smiling.

  “It went very well thank you,” she told him, her smile getting broader. “Luckily the ex-husband was a right yob and kept shouting out in court which wound the judge up. He was impressed with our photographic evidence, especially the photos of Winston in Mrs Williams’ cleavage, in fact I think he might have kept one,” she said flicking through the photos she had left. “Anyway, we won the case. Mrs Williams got full custody of Winston and the cherry on the cake was Mr Williams got locked up for 24 hours for contempt of court.”

  “Well done Lucy,” Mr Knowles told her having a flick through of the photos himself. “Sounds like a great result all round.” He seemed to have trouble putting them down so Lucy relieved him of them and slipped them back into Mrs Williams’ folder ready to be returned to her. “Ah yes, well done.”

  “Mrs Williams was pleased. In fact she’s insisted on taking me out for lunch so I must go.” Picking up her bag she was about to follow Mr Knowles out of her office when she turned back, picked up Mrs Williams’ folder from her desk, and put it safely inside her filing cabinet. After all, the poor lady deserved some privacy.

  Winning the case seemed to have cured her hangover and Lucy was looking forward to eating for the first time that day. She’d suggested a café round the corner from her office, nothing fancy just nice, simple food.

  “Oh Miss Davenport, I don’t know how to thank you,” Mrs Williams gushed for the umpteenth time when Lucy met with her outside. Lucy noticed she had Winston’s cage with her. She eyed it nervously wondering what the café owner would say about them bringing a rat with them to lunch. “Don’t worry, I’ll cover him up,” Mrs Williams told her seeing Lucy’s glance.

  Lucy smiled, relieved. Moving into the privacy of a nearby doorway, Lucy thought Mrs Williams was going to produce a towel or sheet to cover the cage with. Instead, to Lucy’s horror, she opened the door, grabbed Winston and shoved him down her top.

  “There, he’ll be safe in there and no one will see him,” she told Lucy, wriggling around a little, presumably to get him in a comfortable position.

  Lucy didn’t know what to say. Suddenly she wished she’d picked somewhere on the other side of town where no one would know her. “Are you sure he’ll be okay?” she asked weakly.

  “Oh yes, loves it down there, don’t you?” she asked of her chest.

  “You don’t want to damage him after going through all that to get him back,” Lucy pointed out desperately.

  “All thanks to you,” Mrs Williams responded, looking up from her chest with eyes tearing up again.

  “Right.” Lucy couldn’t bear her to start crying again so she motioned towards the café with an ominous sense of dread.

  As they sat down she tried to console herself with the thought this would be one to tell the grandkids. If she ever had any. That would involve finding a man first and that hadn’t been going too well lately. Now her hangover had cleared her mind was dwelling on things like what a fool she’d made of herself the night before and how Simon, or whatever he called himself, had been a lousy bastard. Oh well, she told herself. Sod ‘em. Sod ‘em all. Sue, Aunty Suzi, Simon and especially Leander Brooke. She cared too much about what other people thought. She needed to stop doing that. She nodded in agreement with her own thought.

  “Are you alright dear?” Mrs Williams asked.

  “What? Oh yes.” She caught sight of Winston’s nose poking out of the top of Mrs Williams’ blouse. “I’m fine,” she told her smiling
.

  *

  “I hear you had your first client lunch,” Katherine remarked coming into Lucy’s office that afternoon.

  “Yes, I did,” Lucy told her unenthusiastically.

  “No good?” Katherine asked picking up on her tone of voice. “You won the case didn’t you? It should have been a celebration.”

  “Oh, it was. Just Mrs Williams, Winston and me.”

  “She took the rat to lunch?”

  “In her cleavage,” Lucy told her unable to say it without laughing.

  “What happened?”

  “It was fine till the desserts. Apparently Winston has a weakness for cheesecake. He couldn’t resist popping his head out. Unfortunately the woman at the next table saw and started screaming.”

  Katherine’s eyes were wide with horror by this point. “Oh no!” she gasped.

  “Yes. Safe to say I won’t be welcome back at that café again. Shame ‘cos it’s a nice place.”

  “Yeah but I heard it had a rodent infestation,” Katherine joked.

  “That’s not funny,” Lucy told her but couldn’t help laughing.

  “I can’t wait for your parrot case. If that client wants to bring the pet to lunch you could always say he’s a pirate.”

  The rat story quickly made the rounds of her law firm. Her colleagues didn’t waste any time and returning from a toilet break late in the afternoon she found a plastic toy rat on her chair. “Very funny,” she shouted out her door.

  She was chuckling over it when her phone rang. Skipping round her desk she stopped suddenly when she saw the caller id. Leander Brooke. She’d been dreading this moment. Had he seen her snogging the waiter last night? She picked up the phone wondering what he was going to say.

  “Hello Mr Brooke,” she answered.

  “Oh, back to Mr and Miss are we?” he asked. “You weren’t so formal last night.”

  She felt a blush creeping up her face. “No, well we’re back at work now aren’t we. What can I do for you? We still haven’t heard from the other side yet I’m afraid.”

  “I’ve heard some information you and Katherine should know.”

  “I see. I know Katherine’s out of the office this afternoon. How about Monday morning?”

  “It’s more urgent than that. I’m not far from your office right now. I can drop round or meet in a café if you prefer.”

  Lucy felt the local cafes had suffered enough at her hands that day already. “You can come here, that’s fine. Or I can come to your office if you’d rather.”

  “No I don’t want to discuss it there. I’ll see you in about ten minutes.”

  Great, another meeting with Mr Brooke. That just couldn’t happen soon enough. And she was going to meet him again without Katherine. That wouldn’t go down well with her.

  She couldn’t help rushing to brush her hair and putting on some lipstick. Just as she was trying to settle behind her desk her phone rang again.

  “Lucy Davenport.”

  “Hello Lucy, it’s Aunty Suzi.”

  This just rounded her week off nicely. A phone call from Cruella De Vil’s nastier sister.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting you,” Aunty Suzi began.

  “Well I am just about to meet a client actually−”

  “Good because I wondered if you could help us out with the preparations for the wedding.”

  “In what way?” Prepare sick bags for everyone? Slaughter some puppies to make her mother of the bride outfit?

  “If you’re coming back for a visit we could really do with a hand.”

  So she’d heard Lucy was staying at her Dad’s that weekend. Well she could go spin if she thought Lucy was going to spend her weekend with them. “Right I’ll let you know if I’m coming through for a visit then.

  “I see. Hmm. Not coming this weekend then?”

  “It looks like I might have to work.”

  “Well if you could take the time from your busy schedule to let me know. There’s a lot of work involved in organising a top wedding you know. Some of the groom’s friends are flying in from New York, his uncle’s coming from France–”

  “Sorry Aunty Suzi,” Lucy interrupted, “I’d love to hear all about it,” she managed to stop herself adding NOT, “but I’ve got a client arriving in a few minutes.”

  “And you are bringing someone are you? Managed to find someone to drag along?”

  “My date may have to work that weekend so…”

  “Hmm,” she heard her aunt chuckle. “I thought so.”

  “I have to go now,” Lucy told her and put the phone down. It was hard to believe her mum had been related to that woman. It was hard to believe anyone human was related to her. Why was she going to this wedding? How could anything be worth this? If only she could get a date from somewhere, even of she had to pay someone.

  There was something ironic about the fact she was about to meet with one of London’s most eligible bachelors.

  15 Home

  Lucy told herself he’d been joking about his previous offer of a date. It would be corporate suicide anyway to ask Leander Brooke to the wedding; Katherine would go mad and rightly so. It would be unprofessional. Lucy had been unprofessional enough last night without blotting her copybook further. She was going to have to get the date somewhere else. But where? She couldn’t believe she was contemplating googling escort agencies.

  As if in response to her suddenly black mood, the skies darkened and rain began pouring down. Lucy watched it hitting the window as she waited for Mr Brooke to arrive. It certainly seemed prophetic. Was the change in the weather a sign of impending doom?

  Mr Brooke’s arrival was buzzed through by reception. Lucy sat up at her desk and tried to look professional.

  “Good afternoon,” he greeted her shaking rain off his jacket.

  “I hope you didn’t get too wet. The rain seemed to come out of nowhere,” she babbled, nervously wondering whether he was going to mention what happened the night before.

  “Luckily I won’t dissolve.”

  She offered to get some coffee as he took a seat.

  “No thanks, I can’t stay long.”

  Lucy got her legal pad ready and with pen in hand asked what the problem was.

  “Someone I bumped into last night, at the opera,” he elaborated making Lucy colour slightly at the memory of what happened there. “…they warned me they’d heard some rumours. Rumours about me and this divorce case. They heard not only am I the guilty party but the wife is also expecting my child.”

  “Ah.” She could see why he hadn’t wanted to discuss this at his office. “Did they say where this rumour came from?”

  “Apparently it’s going round some business circles but no one knows who started it.”

  “That’s a shame, there’s not much to go on. If we knew who was spreading the rumour we could go after them for slander. I’ve been checking the major papers and it’s not been printed in there.”

  “No. I’m wondering if it’s gone online? A lot of people do their talking on social network sites nowadays don’t they?”

  “True. Well I can certainly do some research on that. Internet libel isn’t as straightforward as the print version but the courts will still consider it.”

  “If it can at least be reported to whoever runs the site, that would be something, if they can take it down. I have an important business deal coming up and I don’t want any of this around.”

  “No, of course not. I’ll look into it and let you know if I find anything. I’ll let Katherine know your news too.”

  “Thank you. Oh by the way, how did your rat case go? It was this morning wasn’t it?”

  “Yes,” Lucy replied, surprised he’d remembered. “We won. Owner and pet have been reunited.”

  “Congratulations. I knew you’d do well.”

  “Thanks,” she told him, slightly embarrassed by his comment.

  “If I may say so, you don’t look very happy about it.”

  “No, I was very happy abou
t it, it went very well.”

  “Well, if that’s everything?”

  He moved as if to get up. Lucy knew this was her moment if she was going to ask him to the wedding. He looked at her questioningly for a second.

  “Yep, that’s all,” she told him. She couldn’t do it. There was no point bringing her working life down to the same level as her personal one. It was all she had going for her at the moment.

  “Good. So I’ll hear from you soon then?” he asked as he got to the door.

  “Me or Katherine, yes.”

  She was already dialling Katherine’s mobile number before he’d closed the door.

  “Oh hell,” was Katherine’s response. “I thought we were on top of all this. It was looking so good with the alibis and no more stories in the press. Why is nothing straightforward?”

  Lucy supplied a sympathetic ‘hmm’.

  “Well I guess you’d better have a look and see if you can find anything. If you do there is legislation about publishing things online. We should be able to force the website host to give us the ip address of the poster. Have a look at the legal wording will you?”

  “Will do.”

  “I think the important thing is to take screenshots of anything you find so we have a record even if it gets deleted. I’m sure he would have been better off if he’d just paid them off in the first place,” Katherine mumbled under her breath.

  Lucy was shocked she’d think that. “Do you think I should have suggested that?” It hadn’t even occurred to her.

  “No. Let’s stick to the legal route. Let me know how you get on on Monday.”

  Lucy hoped she wasn’t expecting her to work over the weekend, she was off home soon. Well maybe she could stay a bit later. It wasn’t as if she had anything to hurry home to. Or anyone.

  Googling ‘Leander Brooke’ produced more than four million hits. She obviously wasn’t going to be going home any time soon. Trying to concentrate on the entries was difficult with her mind reverting back to the conversation she’d had with Aunty Suzi. Where was she going to get a date from? She’d exhausted all possible sources short of walking into a bar and trying to pick someone up and she was drawing the line at that. She was back to square one.