Looks Unimportant...Sense of Humour Essential

by Evie Evans

  “He’s just upset because we’ve left him. He’ll calm down in a minute,” Mrs Fryer assured them.

  “But you can see how unacceptable it is for Mr Lewis to live with this level of noise?” Lucy asked her.

  Mrs Fryer squirmed in her seat a little and looked at her husband who seemed to be intent on not getting involved. “There isn’t anything we can do,” she told them peevishly, “we have a right to keep a pet.”

  “Mr Lewis has the right to live his life in peace. Your parrot is making excessive noise, the readings on the sound monitor proved that,” Lucy told her showing her the readings.

  “So you’re trying to make us get rid of him!” Mrs Fryer exclaimed.

  “No,” Lucy replied calmly. “We are asking you try to cut down his noise.”

  “He’s a parrot, it’s his natural instinct.” Mrs Fryer was getting increasing agitated and loud.

  Lucy pulled some books out of her bag. “I got some books about parrot behaviour and care. According to them screaming is a common issue with parrots but you can cut down on it using some of the techniques they give. Sometimes Marcus may just be screaming for attention, like a child really.”

  Mrs Fryer quickly grasped this. “That’s right, that’s just what he is,” she readily agreed.

  “When children cry for attention, sometimes you have to ignore it don’t you, not reward it. That’s what these books say about parrots. It’s the same thing.”

  “Oh,” Mrs Fryer was looking uncertain now.

  “What we’re asking is that you try some of the techniques in these books to help control Marcus’ behaviour.” Lucy showed Mrs Fryer a page in one of the books. “These books say he may actually end up happier as a result, less stressed, as children do if their behaviour is treated properly.”

  “Oh,” Mrs Fryer said again, taking the offered book and glancing through the section Lucy had indicated. It seemed to have taken the wind from her sails. “What do you think John?” she asked her husband.

  “What,” he asked cupping a hand around his ear. He was clearly a bit hard of hearing which Lucy thought explained a few things.

  “About training Marcus,” Mrs Fryer repeated, raising her voice and pointing at the books.

  “Should’ve done it in the first place,” he replied and went back to his coffee.

  Mrs Fryer seemed a little embarrassed by her husband’s response. “Well I’d have to have a read through of course. See if it’s something we could do.”

  “I’ll leave the books with you,” Lucy told her. “They say it’s possible to start getting results within a couple of weeks. That would be good wouldn’t it?” she asked Mr Lewis who nodded in agreement. “Then we wouldn’t have to get the council involved. We really don’t want to see you lose Marcus.” She added the last part to make sure the Fryers were aware what the consequences would be if changes didn’t happen. It seemed to have its effect, Mrs Fryer looked up panicked. “So I strongly suggest you have a good go” Lucy warned her.

  “Yes, I will,” Mrs Fryer replied, more meek now.

  “I’ll check with my client in a couple of weeks to see how things are going,” Lucy told her, the implication being she wanted to see some progress by then.

  The Fryers left quietly with their new bird care books. Lucy started to pack her paperwork away feeling happy with the way it had gone. Mr Lewis obviously was too.

  “That was better than I thought,” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

  “Hopefully Mrs Fryer will try to modify Marcus’ behaviour so we won’t have to get the council involved,” she told him. “We’ll need to monitor it though in case she goes back on her word.”

  “Thank you so much, I feel so much better already,” Mr Lewis said as if he hadn’t heard what she’d said.

  “You’re welcome,” Lucy told him hoping his expectations weren’t going to be disappointed.

  17 The wedding

  There were only two more days at work and then it would be the wedding. The day Lucy had been dreading for so long was almost here. Despite telling herself it didn’t matter what Aunty Suzi’s family thought she still had trouble sleeping the last couple of nights. Keeping busy at work only made the days fly by and before she knew it the big day had arrived.

  No miracle men had appeared. Someone had made contact on the dating website but she hadn’t thought a first date at the wedding was a good idea. Her dad was right, it was probably best not to subject others to Aunty Suzi and her family. She’d be going alone.

  Her journey down on the train was a repeat of the previous weekend. After the disappointment of finding the train hadn’t been cancelled and it was running on time, she spent the journey again stressing out about her life. When her dad picked her up at the station she was surprised to see he was in a good mood considering where they were going later.

  “Has it been cancelled?” Lucy asked him, hardly daring to hope.

  “No, not as far as I’ve heard.”

  “Oh, I was only hoping,” she told him, downcast.

  “Don’t go if it makes you feel this bad,” her dad told her seeing the look on her face.

  “No, they’ll only make a big deal of it. I don’t think I’ll stay long though.”

  “Your Uncle Frank’ll be over in a minute,” he announced when they pulled up at home a little later. “You’d better check he’s done his tie properly.”

  “So long as he hasn’t tied it round his forehead I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

  “You can never tell with Frank.”

  It looked like her father had heard her hints and tidied up a little since the previous weekend, engine parts no longer occupied the dining table. She only had a couple of minutes with her dad before Uncle Frank joined them. He was a similar build to his brother but his hair had started the advance towards old age much sooner and was now completely grey.

  “Well now, here we are. All looking forward to the wedding?” he started as soon as he walked in the door.

  “No,” Lucy and her dad both shouted back.

  “You’re not going like that are you?” Uncle Frank continued with his usual subtlety looking at Lucy horrified. She’d travelled down in t-shirt and jersey bottoms.

  “Of course not,” she told him, flashbacks of her nightmare turning up at the church in her dressing gown suddenly returning.

  “Better go change then,” he ordered her and ambled off to the kitchen.

  “I’ve put the kettle on,” Uncle Frank shouted in and her dad went to supervise him.

  Lucy ran up to her old bedroom and got changed with little enthusiasm. It was going to be a long afternoon with lots of digs at her and her single status. Her plan was to stick close to her dad then at least there would be someone on her side nearby. She tried to convince herself she’d be alright.

  Her entrance in the living room produced wolf whistles from her Uncle Frank. Her leaf green sleeveless dress was made of chiffony material with a narrow waist tied with ribbon and a gently flowing, slightly A-line knee length skirt. It went well with her dark hair and hourglass figure.

  “Thank you kind sir.”

  “Shame there’s no young man to show you off.” He had to ruin it didn’t he? “No one’s going with you then?” Subtlety wasn’t something her uncle was known for.

  “Yes,” she said grabbing his arm and her dad’s. “You two.”

  “We’ll be the only sane ones there!” her uncle exclaimed.

  That’s saying something, she thought.

  When her dad made them a snack to tide them over until the reception she realised if her mind hadn’t been all over the place she wouldn’t have gotten changed till afterwards. Now she was going to have to be careful not to spill anything on her outfit. Uncle Frank managed to get a smear of butter on his tie which was some effort as the food hadn’t even included any. Each washed the meal down with a whiskey. Lucy felt guilty about resorting to alcohol but she needed it for her nerves. Bracing themselves they faced the fact it was time to
leave for the church.

  As it was such a lovely day (weather wise only), Lucy’s dad decided they should walk the mile or so to the church. Do us good, he’d said. May not do my feet much good, Lucy thought looking at the flimsy summer sandals she was wearing but she didn’t argue. She didn’t want to get to the church any sooner than they had to. Her father and uncle seemed to have similar feelings and they set off at a slow, leisurely pace.

  The surrounding scenery was gorgeous, leafy green lanes with patches of brilliant colour from flowering wildflowers, but Lucy couldn’t enjoy it. She knew she was facing her doom turning up alone to the wedding. Each step she took felt like a step closer to her execution and she wondered if this was how prisoners on death row felt. Plus her sandals were starting to rub. Hell, this was going to be a terrible afternoon.

  As they approached the church they seemed to slow down further until they were just dawdling.

  “This is silly,” her dad told them after a few paces, “we’ll only end up being late.”

  Lucy and her uncle exchanged looks that said this would be fine with both of them but her father set a quicker pace and soon they were at the final corner before the church. Other wedding guests were honing into sight.

  “Too late to back out now,” Lucy thought sadly as it struck her one man standing by a car looked very familiar. Perhaps he was a cousin. She steeled herself for the abuse that would inevitably be directed at her and carried on placing one foot in front of the other, feeling like a soldier going over the top of the trench into no man’s land. Literally, no man land.

  A couple more paces confirmed she did know the man by the car but he wasn’t a family member, she was sure it was Mr Brooke. She slowed down again. Oh no. Wasn’t today going to be bad enough? What was he doing here?

  He seemed to have spotted her and, finishing a mobile phone call, came to meet her.

  “Mr Brooke?”

  “Lucy? What is going on?”

  “What d’you mean? What are you doing here? Is it something to do with the case?”

  “I’m supposed to be going to Sebastian’s school awards ceremony. There’s no large private school round here is there?”

  Lucy shook her head.

  “Why are you here?” he asked.

  “My cousin’s wedding. Round the corner.”

  “All the way out here?”

  “This is where I’m from. My dad lives in the next village.”

  Mr Brooke frowned. “Did you tell Sebastian about this?”

  “No. Well, I mentioned I was going to a wedding but…”

  It had taken a long time for the penny to drop but finally it did. Sebastian had set them up again.

  “That little…” Mr Brooke cursed, putting his phone up to his ear again. “He’d better bloody answer this time.” The phone rang and rang with no answer then beeped with a text message.

  “It’s from Sebastian,” Mr Brooke told her as he read it out. “Must’ve gotten d8 wrong, sorry. Go 2 wedding with Lucy instead. Lots of love, Seb.” He slammed his phone shut. “I’m really going to kill him this time.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know how he found out where the wedding was. I didn’t tell him anything about it.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. He’s very good at finding out things he shouldn’t.”

  Lucy became aware of her dad hovering at her side.

  “Oh, Dad. This is Mr Brooke, a client from work. Mr Brooke, this is my father.”

  “Pleased to meet you sir,” Mr Brooke told him shaking his hand. “It’s Leander.”

  “Call me Tom. We really need to go in now,” he pointed out to Lucy.

  “Do you have room for another escort?” Mr Brooke asked her.

  “Of course she does,” Uncle Frank told him and before Lucy could say anything took him by the arm and led him to the church door.

  “You don’t mind?” Mr Brooke asked as Lucy caught up with him. “If I try driving back to London now I’ll just get caught in the Friday weekend traffic. I might as well stay rather than coming all this way for nothing.”

  “No, that’s fine,” Lucy mumbled. It wasn’t really, she didn’t want him present in the same room as Aunty Suzi but at least she’d be walking in with a man. And what a man, he was the handsomest there.

  A distant cousin greeted them inside the door. Lucy was in too much of a daze to introduce him to Mr Brooke. By some small miracle she wasn’t going to the wedding on her own. Not thanks to her efforts though. Someone had had to arrange a date for her. It felt strange to be walking in with someone who was a client. She just hoped they could get away afterwards before her family had a chance to get their claws into him.

  As they walked up the aisle Lucy could see Aunty Suzi, mother of the bride, sitting in a front pew craning round to check out all the arrivals. Her eyes widened when she saw Mr Brooke following Lucy in. Lucy couldn’t help feeling immense satisfaction at the looks she received from some of the other girls. All those single girl taunts in the past were made up for now.

  “So who’s getting married then?” Mr Brooke asked as they sat down.

  “My cousin,” she whispered. “She’s marrying some salesman. She’s my mother’s sister’s daughter, if that makes sense.”

  “That’s the side of the family you don’t have much to do with?” he whispered back.

  “Yes,” Lucy replied, so he’d remembered some of their conversation from the opera.

  “You don’t like them much?”

  “Shhh.” Lucy looked round to see if anyone would have heard. Luckily it didn’t seem like it. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

  Uncle Frank, who’d been delayed at the door by a relative, came to sit next to them now.

  “Not on your own after all,” her uncle proclaimed to Lucy’s embarrassment. Spotting the groom waiting at the front of the church he gave Aunty Suzi a thumbs up. “He showed up then,” he shouted down to her pointing at the groom. She did not look amused. Lucy gave her uncle a look which she hoped read ‘behave yourself’ but he probably saw as ‘well done’ and sat back with a fixed smile on her face. She hoped he wasn’t going to be too outrageous, not with Mr Brooke there.

  The ceremony was surprisingly uneventful for her family. Even her uncle had managed to restrain himself from shouting out at the lawful impediment part although she’d seen him looking round and knew he’d been tempted.

  “Where are we off to now?” Mr Brooke asked as the married couple walked back up the aisle.

  “The reception. The hotel’s a couple of mile away, the Swan. You don’t have to go though, we’ve taken enough of your time already.”

  “Nonsense. I can’t walk out in the middle of things, people will think it a bit strange won’t they.”

  “I guess so,” Lucy had to admit.

  “Right, so do your dad and your uncle want a lift to the hotel?”

  “They may do, thanks. I’ll ask them.”

  Her father and uncle were glad of a lift to the reception. As her uncle pointed out, that meant they could both make the most of the free booze on offer. Lucy shuddered at the thought of what state they would be in by the end of it. The journey there passed off okay, she was pleasantly surprised her uncle didn’t take the opportunity to question Mr Brooke on his sudden appearance. She suspected her dad might have had a word.

  “Just behave yourselves you two,” she told them sternly when they got to the hotel. Her father and uncle quickly headed inside leaving her with Mr Brooke.

  “I hope this won’t be too boring for you Mr Brooke,” she began.

  “You really must start calling me Leander. Your uncle looks like he might liven things up a bit anyway.”

  “Yes, sorry, he is a bit of a one.”

  “At least he’s not a boring old sod like all of mine.”

  “I have to warn you some of my family can be a bit, um, difficult,” she said as they made their way to the hotel entrance.

  “Alright, I’ll consider myself warned.”


  Lucy braced herself for the reception line. There was going to be a lot of scrutiny of her date. She gave Leander a swift smile. “Ready?” she asked him.

  “Sure,” he replied looking relaxed as usual. She wished she knew his secret to not getting stressed, she could use some right now.

  Her father and uncle were quickly pushed aside as the bride and her mother spotted Lucy behind.

  “Lucy!” Aunty Suzi exclaimed, stepping forward to envelope her in her substantial bulk. “We weren’t sure you were going to make it. And who’s this?” she asked thrusting Lucy away to get a good look at Mr Brooke. “This isn’t your date is it?” she asked with a note of incredulity, looking him up and down.

  Lucy noted the bride had stopped talking to her guests and was waiting to hear the answer.

  “This is my friend, Leander,” Lucy told Aunty Suzi almost stumbling over his name. Oh how strange it felt calling him that. “Leander this is my Aunt and her daughter Sue.”

  “Congratulations,” Leander told her politely giving them a flash of killer smile.

  Aunty Suzi and Sue seemed mesmerised, unable to believe that Lucy had brought such a greek god to the wedding.

  “Well, we’d better not hold you up,” Lucy told them moving away with Leander, forcing Aunty Suzi to break her grip on him.

  “I can see who wears the trousers in that family,” Leander commented as they found their table.

  “Yes, Aunty Suzi is a bit of a force of nature.”

  “So what is the story with your family then?” he asked once they were sat down.

  Lucy looked around them. They were getting a lot of stares, well Mr Brooke was, but no one was nearby to hear much.

  “Well there was a falling out after my mum died. That side weren’t very nice to my dad afterwards. I dunno, maybe they blamed him or something.”

  Mr Brooke shot her a look of surprise.

  “My mum died of septicaemia,” she explained, “after a routine operation. Aunty Suzi has hinted perhaps my dad could have gotten her back to the hospital sooner. It’s all a load of rubbish,” she rushed to add lest Leander think her dad was a monster. “There was even a court case against the doctor who’d failed to spot it. They can’t seem to let it go though. People like to have someone to blame I suppose.”