Too Far Gone

by HelenKay Dimon

  “Ah.”

  That response could win the cryptic award. Mallory was stumped. “Oh, please. What is that response about?”

  Leah kept concentrating on those damn packets. “Nothing.”

  Enough. Mallory put her hand over Leah’s and accidentally smashed the packets against the counter. “Oh, I think something.”

  Leah shook off the rain of sugar. “Tell me the truth.”

  “Could you give me some clue as to the topic?”

  “Mallory.” Leah gave a quick glance over her shoulder at the customers in the shop. No one seemed to be paying attention but she leaned closer anyway. “You are my best friend and I love you.”

  Mallory never tired of hearing that. “I feel the same way about you.”

  “You hid your relationship with him.” Leah held up a hand when Mallory tried to explain. “I know my behavior made you do that, and I’m sorry.”

  That was the first time Leah said those words in relation to Walker. She’d aimed verbal jabs in his direction since he came to town. And, to be fair, he launched a few of his own back at her. But she’d never recognized how her anger affected everything else.

  Not that Mallory didn’t get it. She did. Leah switched to protective mode toward Declan and his family and that meant pushing out Walker. Maybe now she had room to let him in. That would certainly make Mallory’s life easier.

  “I totally understand why you’re skeptical of him.” She reached across the counter and put her hand over Leah’s again.

  “I need you to be honest with me. With yourself.” Leah squeezed Mallory’s hand as she talked.

  She knew what her friend was asking. Without using the words or making an accusation, Leah had drilled down to the problem. To the one secret Mallory wanted to hide and pretend didn’t exist.

  She wasn’t even sure she could say the words, but then they slipped out. “I’m in love with him.”

  Leah never broke eye contact. “Like, an ‘isn’t this nice’ or more like an ‘I can’t breathe when I don’t see him for ten minutes’ type of love?”

  Now there was an easy question to answer. “The latter.”

  It wasn’t a sweet love or a quiet love. Her feelings walloped her in the head and kept punching. She’d wanted simple and clean. She’d gotten messy and wild.

  Leah closed her eyes for a second. “Oh, babe.”

  Unsure what that reaction meant, Mallory pulled her hand away. “I know how to pick ’em, don’t I?”

  Not that she’d had a big choice. She didn’t exactly walk into a room, look at a line-up then interview a bunch of guys. She sat in a diner months ago and watched Walker stalk around. Between the suit and the attitude, the determination and the drive, she was hooked. She’d fought it until he kissed her; then her self-control shattered.

  It was embarrassing, actually.

  “This is the first time I’ve seen you pick anyone,” Leah said as she reached for her mug again.

  That struck Mallory as an overstatement. “I’ve dated before. A year ago there was that guy who made me pay and then one who I’m pretty sure took pictures of my feet while I was sleeping.”

  “Stop talking.”

  “I definitely had better dating luck in college.” Not that any of those guys had staying power, but Mallory didn’t say that because it didn’t help her argument.

  That quiet voice in her head questioned whether she’d always be alone because that was all she’d ever really been. Her parents died and the losses steamrolled from there. One car accident changed everything.

  “This thing with Walker is so much deeper than any relationship I’ve seen you in before. For him you hid. I’ve never known you to hide from anything,” Leah said.

  Mallory didn’t know what to say to that. It was true and the idea Leah could see through the spit and shine to the real feelings shook Mallory a little. But knowing her friend “got” it, Mallory no longer felt any need to hide or be vague.

  “He’s going to leave Sweetwater.” That was the fear. The thing that kept Mallory up at night and made it easier for her to keep a shield against him, flimsy as it was.

  She spent every day waiting for him to storm out and not look back. She’d bet the possibility hovered right there waiting to zap her.

  “I’m not convinced,” Leah said. “About him going, I mean.”

  It took a second for the words to register in Mallory’s brain. “Why?”

  Leah smiled over the rim of her mug. “Because I can’t imagine anyone being able to leave you.”

  True friends made everything better. “Let’s hope he figures that out soon.”

  Leah bit her lip again. Opened her mouth twice before shutting it without a word. Ran through her entire “I’m thinking” campaign before saying anything. “Well, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you could tip the scales in your favor.”

  Mallory’s body stilled. “How?”

  “Depends on how naughty that sex is you’re having.”

  Mallory’s face flushed at the memory of what happened against the shower wall. “I’ll make some more coffee and we can chat.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Walker’s great morning turned into a shitty day of arguing with Marc Baron, of all people, and now into a too-short evening.

  Mallory’s insistence on him leaving the second after he pulled out of her was pretty fucking frustrating. She didn’t deny him or say no to any advance, but she turned him down for dates. No eating together. No movies. No sitting on the couch while watching television. She kept her stupid rules intact. She had no trouble resisting him when he tried for more than heated bodies coming together.

  He was so lost in his thoughts that he walked straight into the television room before he realized the set was on and Declan and Callen sat there. Callen lounging in the chair and Declan spread out on the couch.

  Walker wanted to slowly back out of the room. Pretend he’d never come home.

  “You’re back early.” Declan didn’t even lift his head or turn his body.

  “So?” It took Walker a second to realize Declan had seen the reflection in the TV. Impressive. Still, it made sneaking around the house extra difficult.

  Callen shifted then. Not a big move or one that produced any noise, but one that grabbed attention. “Aren’t we defensive this evening?”

  “We just figured you’d stay at Mallory’s tonight,” Declan said.

  Yeah, Walker had thought so too. He gave her one night to prove her point on this sex-only thing. He never imagined she’d carry it further. “I’m not invited.”

  Callen dropped his feet off the ottoman and sat up straighter. “What did you do now?”

  Not having the energy to be offended, Walker started to tell the truth. “She wants . . .”

  Then stopped. What the fuck was he thinking? Sharing amounted to a terrible idea. These two would enjoy his dating pain.

  “What?” Declan sat up with a pillow tucked under his arm.

  Looked like he had everyone’s attention now. That wasn’t exactly the evening Walker had in mind. “Nothing.”

  “Dude, talk.” Callen picked up the remote and turned the television off with a snap. “No one understands women trouble like we do. You have a sympathetic audience.”

  Walker went with stalling instead. “Speaking of women. Where are the ones who live here?”

  “Helping Sophie pack.” Declan threw the pillow toward the end of the couch. “And Beck is visiting Mom before he leaves tomorrow.”

  “But that was a nice try at throwing us off topic.” The amusement ran through Callen’s voice as he talked. “Now that we know where everyone is, how about you spill it?”

  It was so damn tempting. Dump the issue out there and see what the crowd came up with for a solution. But that usually happened with people who were close. Walker didn’t know what the hell he, Declan and Callen were.

  As if he read Walker’s mind, Declan offered some advice. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to people y
ou don’t know that well.”

  Callen rolled his head against the cushion as he turned to face Declan. “You read that in a fortune cookie?”

  “Actually, yes.”

  Okay, enough of this. Jesus, these two could talk about nothing for hours. “She only wants to have sex.”

  Walker hadn’t screamed the comment, but he didn’t exactly whisper either. He said what he needed to say, and actually felt some relief getting it out, then stood there . . . waiting. And waiting.

  Just when the awkward silence became unbearable and he started to talk about something else, Callen cut in. “This is a problem?”

  It was too late to back down now. Pretending he’d never talked would only fuel Callen’s interest. Better to push ahead.

  “I’m trying to make up for leaving and figure out what’s between us, and she only wants sex.” As Walker talked the other two flashed grins and exchanged not-so-secret glances. “Stop looking at each other.”

  “Let me understand this.” Callen leaned forward. “We’re supposed to feel sorry for you for getting an offer of strings-free sex.”

  As predicted, a waste of time. Walker turned to leave. “Forget I said anything.”

  “Wait a second.” Declan called after him. “Come back in here.”

  After a quick internal debate, Walker stepped back into the doorframe.

  “What do you want from her?” Declan asked the cryptic question.

  Walker had no idea what he was talking about. “I don’t understand the question.”

  Callen started nodding. “And that, dear brother, is one of your main problems.”

  “You’re annoying as hell tonight.” Walker had said it before but he felt like it needed a repeat.

  “It’s every day and every night. You’ll get used to him.” Declan moved to one side of the couch and pointed to the open end. “Sit.”

  “We should just pretend I never said a word about this.” But Walker listened. He lowered his ass onto the cushion and waited for the fifty questions to begin.

  Callen shook his head. “That’s never going to happen.”

  “Between this and the idea of you liking funky stuff in bed, Callen’s head might explode.” Declan shot Walker a man-to-man look of allegiance. “It really is almost too much information for us to have.”

  This had to stop now or they’d all be dead. “Mallory will kill all of us if she finds out I’m talking about our sex life with you two.”

  Callen waved off that concern. “True, but she’ll go after you first and we’ll have a chance to run.”

  The frustration rumbling around in Walker’s gut finally exploded. “Could you maybe say something helpful?”

  “Tell me why you really came back to Sweetwater.” Before Walker could say a word Callen finished the loop on that conversation. “I know Beck contacted you. Not that.”

  Through all the personal chaos Walker had lost sight of that issue. He still didn’t know what Beck found so important. It, like the fact he knew there were stolen items somewhere in this house that came from the yard, sat out there. Walker tried to compartmentalize and hit one problem at a time, but the day was coming when all that had to be dragged out and dealt with.

  “We’ll speed this along if we feed him some of the answers.” Declan said. “Mallory. Talk. Go.”

  They made it sound so easy. Just sit and spill. No regard for the weakness it showed or the problems it invited. You had a thought or a feeling and you showed it. Walker didn’t know how to jump in that way. Not his style.

  But he tried. “She’s . . .” So many words fit. Many of them not so cleanly.

  “Scary,” Callen said.

  “Hot in a could-kick-your-ass kind of way.” Declan added.

  Well, that one got the room’s attention. Walker wasn’t the jealous type, but it flared now and came out in a roughness in his voice. “Are you two done?”

  “Sorry.” Declan mumbled the apology then motioned for Walker to continue. “Go ahead.”

  “I was going to say special.” Now that was awkward. The word even felt wrong on his tongue. Too thick or something.

  But the sentiment was true. Mallory stood alone. Other women were pretty and smart. Other women ran businesses and protected their friends with a fierce loyalty of the type that made him long for her to include him in her bubble. But no one was like her. She was the unique and dynamic woman . . . and if he thought about her any more during the day he might lose his concentration and accidentally crash his car into a tree.

  Declan looked at Callen then back to Walker with a serious expression. Gone was the lightness and amusement. “That sounds like a good thing.”

  “Not so fast.” Callen held up a hand. “If she’s so great, why did you leave?”

  This part promised to be bumpy. Still, making something up didn’t make sense. Walker did have reasons, and two of them sat in the room with him now. He rubbed his palms up and down his legs, trying to figure out how much to say.

  “Because I couldn’t take another minute of dealing with Hanovers.” Callen made a face and Walker rushed to explain. “I’m actually not trying to be an asshole here.”

  “You sure?” Callen asked.

  “I’m serious. All the investigating of Charlie, all the news about my past, watching you guys, getting sucked into your lives. It built up and . . . it was suffocating.”

  “Okay, we can understand that.” Declan nodded, slow at first then with more energy, as if he’d come to some conclusion that he refused to share. “I know we’ve only been brothers for a month—”

  Now seemed like a good time to needle Declan a bit. “Technically, that’s not true.”

  Callen laughed. “Look at you, finally admitting we’re related.”

  Yeah, still not a topic Walker wanted to handle. But each time one of them mentioned the brotherhood thing the anger at being left behind kicked a little softer.

  When the laughter died down and a more serious air moved through the room Callen spoke again. “Here’s the bottom line. You gotta figure out if you like Mallory more than you like the revenge.”

  “Love.” Declan limited his comment to that one word.

  Callen frowned. “What?”

  Walker felt the conversation rolling downhill. It started racing until it ran right over his control. He wasn’t clear if he should just get up and leave or put an end to it. Either way, they were off and talking about his life without him.

  “I think he loves her.” Declan glanced at Walker. “Well?”

  Walker went with the first thing that popped into his mind. “Shut up.”

  “Holy shit.” Callen jackknifed into a full sitting position with his elbows balanced on his knees. “Is that true?”

  “No . . . I don’t know.” Answers raced around in Walker’s head. They looked at him as if willing him to say yes. His brain shouted to say no. He cut it all off. “Why are we talking about this part? I need advice on getting her to eat dinner with me.”

  Declan looked at Callen and nodded. “That sounds like a yes.”

  The tsk-tsking sound from Callen was a bit much. Walker was just about to say so when Callen started talking again. “I feel for you, man.”

  Maybe someone could clue him in. “You two have a habit of shortcutting your conversations and I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You love her.” Declan held up one finger. “She’s angry.” Then another. “That means one thing.” And finally a third.

  Walker assumed that was some sort of three-strikes reference, but who the hell knew with these two. “What?”

  “You’re screwed.” Callen said.

  Declan didn’t appear nearly as worried. “Lucky for you, you now have brothers to help you through this.”

  This was taking the family adventure thing a bit too far for Walker’s liking. Despite what Mallory said, he was fine with the man-as-an-island concept. It had helped him survive so far. It could carry him through until the end, even if he did lose his
job.

  “We’re here for you. We recognize the beaten-down, right-on-the-edge look,” Callen said, sounding not one bit sorry.

  Declan nodded. “We’ve both lived through it.”

  “Is that supposed to be comforting?” Like they were members of some sort of pathetic club? No thanks. Walker knew he’d screwed up, but he’d rather screw up with Mallory on his own and not have anyone else to blame.

  “No, but this is.” Declan rested his leg on the couch cushion between them. “No matter how much you fuck up, we won’t let her kill you.”

  Callen nodded. “Since you’re family and all.”

  The comment sucked the air out of the room. The tension left and the banter ceased. “I don’t like either one of you.”

  Callen barked out a laugh. “Actually, I think you do.”

  Scary thing . . . he was not wrong. Something started turning. The hatred began to fade. And Walker had no idea what to do about that.

  ***

  The next afternoon, hours after they’d seen Sophie and Beck off, the whole clan sat around the kitchen table at Shadow Hill. Well, not all, and some of them who were there didn’t come all that willingly.

  Walker showed up because he was told to do so. Callen left his mom and Tom out of this part, for now. There would be time to fill them in this evening at dinner. Right now he needed to make Walker understand. Only he and Mallory didn’t know what was coming. Callen, along with Declan, had filled Leah and Grace in. Interesting that they took the property news better than the men in the family did.

  It remained to be seen how Walker would react. Right now he fidgeted in his chair. Could have had something to do with the information he spilled last night or the hot brunette who tempted him being there.

  After water and coffee had been passed around, Walker finally broke the silence. “What’s happening?”

  Mallory played with the edge of the placemat sitting in front of her, leftover from breakfast. “And why am I here?”

  “You’re with Walker and you’re a family friend, so you get a seat at the table.” Callen thought he’d done a good job with the explanation until Mallory glared at him.