Lilac Wedding in Dry Creek

by Janet Tronstad

  “At least I could have taken care of you better,” Jake replied, his tone tense. “I could have found some kind of a job. I have a strong back. I could have dug postholes or something. Even if we didn’t stay together, we should have made it legal. What did you do alone?”

  “Mrs. Jenna—you remember the nurse at the home—she sent me to another home for unwed mothers. I had a doctor’s care. And learned how to take care of a baby. It was the best thing.”

  “And did the home suggest you not tell me about the baby?”

  Cat nodded her head in the dark. “I’m sorry if that hurt you, but one of the conditions of staying was that I couldn’t talk to you. It was a silly rule they had at the home.”

  “You could have told me later.”

  Cat closed her eyes and whispered, “By then, I thought you knew. When I got the first envelope of money, I figured you had to have been told by someone. And you never sent a letter. I thought you didn’t want to hear from me.”

  “I always had a return address on those envelopes.”

  Cat heard a rustling in the backseat.

  “Mommy.”

  “We’ll talk later,” Cat whispered to Jake before turning to their daughter. “How are you, pumpkin?”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “We’ll stop someplace,” Jake said, passing an exit.

  “We could just get something at a gas station. I don’t feel like going into a restaurant and sitting down.”

  “Usually a gas station only has hot dogs at this time of night.”

  Cat shrugged. She didn’t have the energy to persuade him otherwise. She just hoped her money held out until she could get back to Minneapolis. She was determined to not open the envelope of money he’d laid on the seat before they began. She had moved it to the cup holder between their two seats. If it was charity, she didn’t want it.

  He pulled off at an exit that had a fast-food sign.

  “I’m going to meet your mother,” Cat finally said, suddenly realizing what that meant. “And I didn’t bring a dress.”

  One thing she knew about Jake was that he loved his mother. He’d written to the woman often from the home and Cat had envied him having someone. She couldn’t even remember her mother. She had a grandmother who had taken care of her until she died. Then Cat had been out on her own.

  “My mother’s not that way,” Jake protested. “Even before prison she didn’t care what people wore and…” He broke off and swallowed. “At least I don’t think so. I haven’t seen her for a long time.”

  Cat let that sink in. “You haven’t been back since she got out?”

  A moment went by before he answered.

  “I’ve been meaning to—it’s only been two months since she got back.”

  He paused then, and finally admitted, “I just couldn’t face it.”

  Cat nodded. She could see him now that he was driving under street lights. He had always been as much of a fairy-tale kind of a person as their daughter. He didn’t get many miracles, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want them. Jake fought injustice and didn’t like anything to be halfway. She supposed he didn’t know how to forgive the people who testified in his mother’s trial or the others who didn’t intervene to correct mistaken impressions. Maybe he couldn’t even forgive himself.

  “You could not have stopped what happened,” she said. “The judge made his decision. There’s nothing you could have done to make it come out different. And, you told everyone who listened that your mother couldn’t have hurt a fly. You told me about it. You tried.”

  “I didn’t try hard enough.”

  He looked tired and not just because he’d been driving for hours. She remembered his smile more than anything else, but she hadn’t seen him use it much in the time she’d been with him. Had his mother’s situation really changed him so much?

  “God will help you forgive yourself,” Cat whispered. She wasn’t sure she should have said it until the words escaped her. His face froze at her words and he stared straight ahead.

  “I know. He helped me,” Cat continued.

  She wondered how normal teenage girls handled the guilt of getting pregnant. If she had been more careful, she might have had a future with Jake. Lara would have been born at the right time, when she had enough diapers and layettes to stock a proper nursery. Everything about Lara’s young life had been a compromise. She didn’t have both of her parents or any kind of security.

  “Lara doesn’t even have a college fund,” Cat muttered, half to herself. There was so much to remember before she had surgery. Not that she had much to put in a fund like that, but she wanted Lara to know her mother had thought about her future.

  “Yes, she does,” Jake said. “I opened one for her when I stopped at the bank on my way back with your luggage. It’s in my name still because I didn’t know her social security number, but it’s waiting for her.”

  Cat started to cry. She didn’t want Jake to see the tears, but she couldn’t help it. She had been so worried and so alone for so long. And now Lara had a college fund.

  “I won’t tell her about it,” Jake said low and urgent. He looked over at her. “I know I can’t take over. Don’t want to, either. You’re a wonderful mother.”

  “That’s not it,” Cat said, trying not to hiccup. She always did that when she cried. “I’m just so happy you even care that she goes to college.”

  “Of course she should go to college.” Jake’s face lit up in a smile as he gave her a quick glance and a wink. “She got her brains from you. She’ll want to put them to good use. Maybe save the world someday.”

  With that, he pulled up to the drive-in and stopped by the order window.

  “Hamburgers and fries?”

  Cat nodded. Maybe everything would work out for Lara. She was doing everything she could to get her daughter settled in with Jake. She could only pray that God would do the rest.

  Chapter Four

  Jake had counted off the miles to Dry Creek by the number of stops they had made going north on the I-15 freeway. It had been hours since they’d eaten those hamburgers. They stopped once again in Idaho Falls for gas. And then another time at the old mountain café on the top of Monida Pass just this side of the Montana state line. And now, their last stop was right here in Billings. He looked up at the cliffs that stood high above the east side of the city. He’d pulled his pickup into a parking lot and was admiring the way the rising sun turned the cliffs rosy.

  “I forgot to get a wedding present,” he muttered to himself, suddenly remembering the fact.

  He looked over at Cat, who had to be awake even if she was still curled up against the passenger door. He’d been planning to stop at one of the stores on his way out of Las Vegas and buy a toaster or maybe an electric can opener, but he’d completely forgotten about it when Cat and Lara had shown up. He glanced behind him. Lara was asleep in her car seat.

  He had finally found a music station that played soft rock and the sound filled the cab as he sat there letting the knowledge that he and Cat had a daughter wash over him. It was terrifying and wonderful at the same time. He hoped he didn’t do something to disappoint the girl if she ever did learn that he was her father.

  “How could you forget a wedding present?” Cat asked as she sat up straighter and stretched her arms. “It’s your brother. You should have gotten them something weeks ago. People put a lot of thought into wedding gifts.”

  “Yeah, well…” Jake began and then shook his head to get rid of the vision that had come to him of Cat lounging like a little calico kitten in the morning sun. She clearly liked the warmth of the heater in his pickup. He wondered if it was because she’d spent so many cold nights when she was on the street as a kid. She finished stretching and brought her arms down to her sides.


  He forced his mind back to the conversation. “I’d hoped to talk my brother out of getting married, so I figured there was no reason to buy a gift. I didn’t want to be stuck with either a toaster or a can opener if he backed out. But it looks like they are going forward, so I need to get something. What do you think?”

  “A can opener isn’t very special.”

  “And the toaster?”

  Cat just shook her head.

  “Well, then, maybe a new wallet.” Once, when they were growing up, Jake had wanted to get Wade a nice leather wallet for Christmas. They had both liked hand-tooled leather, mostly when it came to saddles. But even a wallet had been too expensive for what little money he’d been able to save. “I could slip in a few silver dollars or something.”

  “A wallet for a wedding?” Cat protested mildly. “I mean, some money is nice even if it’s impersonal, but the main gift is supposed to be for both of them. The groom and the bride. And you shouldn’t try to talk anyone out of getting married. It’s already scary enough without that.”

  All thoughts of wedding presents fled Jake’s mind and he felt his body tense. “How do you know how scary it is to face getting married?” Jake asked, trying to keep his voice calm. “You ever been engaged?”

  As much as he had worried about Cat over the years, he’d never pictured her getting married to someone until today. He’d always worried she was alone and hungry, not hooked up with another man.

  “If you count the five seconds I was engaged to you, then yes, I thought about getting married,” she answered tartly. “Of course, you’ve probably forgotten all about that.”

  Cat’s chin was up again and it made him relax.

  “How could I forget? It was over so fast I had whiplash. You said yes and then stomped off. I thought we would talk about it like adults the next day, but you were gone.”

  “Well, it was for the best.”

  “We’ve already covered that,” Jake said and looked in the backseat at where Lara still slept. “Do you think you’ll ever tell her?”

  Cat didn’t answer for a moment. “I don’t want her hurt.”

  “Me, either.”

  They were both silent after that.

  “I should get her some birthday presents,” Jake finally said. He was willing to keep his mouth shut about the fact that he was Lara’s father. But he felt an urge to do something.

  “She doesn’t need anything. And you certainly don’t owe her for past birthdays.”

  Jake decided he was going to ignore that. “Maybe I should get her some kind of jewels or something. Rubies or garnets. The simple ones.”

  “She’s only four!”

  “And she thinks she’s a princess. Little girls like jewels. Look how she wears that crown of hers.”

  “Those are just bits and pieces of colored glass. The whole thing only cost a dollar. Don’t worry,” she said. “Lara knows you’ve been sending us money for years. You’re her hero—Uncle Jake, we call you. I already bought that plastic crown she has with that money. And her ballet shoes. And more glitter than you want to know about. And I always say it comes from Uncle Jake’s money.”

  “She calls me Uncle Jake?” In the list of all the things Cat had recited, this was the only fact that stuck in his mind. “Won’t that confuse her later? I mean if she ever found out the truth.”

  Of course, he reminded himself. She already thought her father ruled some fairy-tale kingdom, so even if they told her the truth about him, she might not believe it.

  “I doubt she’s even tried to figure anything out. She doesn’t know about family structure. She’s only four,” Cat said.

  “And three months,” the sleepy voice came from the backseat of the pickup and stopped all of the conversation in the front. “Are we there yet?”

  “Soon,” Jake said as he took a deep breath. “Would you like something to eat?”

  “I could have a piece of my cake,” Lara said. Her voice gained strength at the thought and she sat up straighter in her car seat. “Grandpa Max packed me my own fork and—oh—” her voice trailed off “—I forgot. I wasn’t supposed to call him that. It’s supposed to be a secret.”

  There was silence for a moment as they all considered this.

  “Do you know what a grandpa is?” Jake finally asked. He had turned around by now so he could see her clearly.

  Lara nodded her head vigorously. “I do, too, know about families. A grandpa is like a grandma only he doesn’t bake. No cookies or anything. He buys you cake instead, though, so it’s okay. And he lets you slide in your socks on the bare floor. I can go as fast as I want. Grandpa Max said so.”

  “Sounds like you had fun,” Jake said cautiously. He hadn’t realized what a minefield this would be with Cat, and he didn’t want to cause her any distress. He didn’t have any right to a relationship with Lara and he didn’t want Cat to think he was overstepping his bounds. Not that, technically, he was the one to bring up the grandpa idea. He should have known Max wouldn’t be able to contain his excitement, though.

  “How much did you hear before you woke up?” Jake asked.

  “What mommy said about families. The other kids in my school have families,” Lara said then, her voice a little wistful. “I know he’s not a real grandpa, but…”

  Jake didn’t know what to say to that and, when he looked over at Cat, he saw she wasn’t sure, either.

  “I never had any cousins,” Lara continued piteously. “Or brothers and sisters or aunts or a daddy…” Her voice trailed off, but after a moment she brightened. “I did have a snake once, but he got away.”

  “I’m sorry about that.” Jake felt bad. He couldn’t give his daughter much, but perhaps… He looked over at Cat. “Maybe, if your mother doesn’t mind, I could—”

  Cat shook her head. “Don’t even think about it. We can’t take care of a pet. And then there are the vet bills and the food and everything.”

  “I don’t think a snake goes to a vet.” Jake didn’t have the nerve to mention he wasn’t thinking about a pet. He had suddenly wanted to assure his daughter that, for good or bad, she did have a father. At least for the record, he was the one. Fortunately, Cat hadn’t seen him go close to that edge.

  “I could feed it some of my cake,” Lara offered. She was wide-awake now and seemed to have forgotten about all the family members she didn’t have. “And if I can’t have a snake, a puppy would be nice.”

  Cat turned around in her seat so she was facing her daughter. “You know we can’t have any kind of a pet in our apartment. It’s against the rules. And no pet ever eats cake.”

  “But it’s birthday cake,” Lara said, undeterred. “Everybody eats birthday cake.”

  For the first time, Jake noticed that his daughter had the same stubborn jaw that he saw on Cat’s face. And when Lara closed her mouth and lifted her chin slightly, he knew they were in for some hard times ahead.

  “Why don’t you both come with me and we’ll look around the stores,” Jake offered. He imagined that’s what a real father would do. “You can both help me pick out the wedding present for my brother. That will be fun, won’t it?”

  “Your brother?” Lara asked, her chin dropping a little as she pondered things. “Is he my uncle, too?”

  “No.” Cat gasped.

  Jake could see she was horrified.

  “We don’t even know him,” Cat continued, obviously struggling to keep her voice calm. “You mustn’t call him that.”

  “We didn’t know Uncle Jake, either,” Lara answered reasonably. “Or Grandpa Max. But now we do. And Grandpa Max wants to be my grandpa. He said so.”

  “That’s different,” Cat said as her eyes looked up to meet Jake’s.

  He read the plea in them and did the only thing he could think
of.

  “Let’s go to the jewelry store.” He smiled at Lara. “I’ll buy you something special.”

  “A puppy?” Lara asked before her mother could protest.

  Jake chuckled as he shook his head. “Not this time, sweetheart.”

  He held his breath after the endearment, but Cat didn’t quite seem to have heard it.

  “She doesn’t need anything in that jewelry store.” Cat didn’t say it with any force to the words. Maybe because she was looking at him with confusion in her eyes. “I didn’t come here so you could buy things for her.”

  “I know, but I wish you had,” Jake said, and with that, he opened the door of his cab. A shopping cart full of presents was the one thing he could give Cat and their daughter. He couldn’t hurt them by doing that, at least.

  Fifteen minutes later, Cat stood in front of a display of goblets in the jewelry store. Classical music was playing in the background and the faint scent of lavender filled the place. Large plateglass windows let generous light into the area. She was used to shopping in thrift or discount stores. She’d never seen so many beautiful things before in her life.

  Her gaze kept going back to a pair of elongated glasses sitting on top of the case that held the diamond rings. She took a few steps closer. Those glasses sparkled and she stopped a good two feet away from their shelf for fear she’d smudge them somehow just by staring. One goblet was for the bride and the other was for the groom. She supposed they were for the wedding ceremony and not the marriage that followed, so they wouldn’t be a good wedding gift, but they were beautiful. Each goblet had a figure etched on the glass and they were dancing, the bride with her dress swirling wide on one glass and the groom with open arms on the other. Both had their faces tilted up.

  “They’re lovely,” she whispered as Jake walked over. He had taken Lara to get a drink of water in the back of the store.

  “I’ll buy them,” he said with no hesitation.

  Lara was looking up at him in awe. Cat knew her daughter seldom heard those words in a store and never without someone asking the cost first.