Turnabout Is Fair Play

by Bill Willoughby

  I nodded.

  “Okay,” he said as he opened the notebook. “Your parents have elected to be cremated and the urns placed in a single plot at Peninsula Memorial Park. There are two other plots there and you and your wife and your sister can make a decision on what to do with them. I just need from you…” He paused while he flipped through some pages in the notebook. “Oh, here it is. I need you to pick out an urn for your mother, a design for the program for the funeral service, an obituary for her if you have it, if not we can write one for a very reasonable price.

  Um, a photo of your mother if you have one scanned you can email it to me or if you don’t you can drop one by and we’ll scan it for a nominal fee. We’ll need to know when the funeral will be and whether you want your mother’s urn in attendance or not. Most of the time families don’t opt to have that at the service.

  Oh! They didn’t specify any music they wanted so if you have that I can write it down if not then we can pick something out that you may find suitable.”

  I broke in. “For a small fee I imagine.”

  He looked up as if offended. “Excuse me?”

  “Nothing. I’ll get you everything you need in the next day. Dad wants the funeral Saturday after next at their church.”

  He showed me pictures of urns and same programs. I picked one of each.

  I stood up. “Do you have a card with your email address and other information?”

  “Of course,” he said as he handed me a business card.

  “Well, that was easier than I thought it would be. Thank you very much and I’ll email you soon.”

  We shook hands and he showed me to the door. I walked out into the sunshine to my truck. I slid into the seat and headed for home. Once I got there I opened my computer, typed out a quick obituary for Mom, wrote down a list of songs which was basically a list of what that chaplain had sung yesterday and snagged a photo of her off their church web site. I sent it to him right then.

  There, one task taken care of.

  I called my sister. “Hey, did you know Mom and Dad had purchased three cemetery plots? I don’t know if they were supposed to be for you and me or me and Miranda but they’re there. Any idea what you want to do with them?”

  “I had no idea. Can we sell them? I could use the money? How much do you think they could sell for?”

  Why was I not surprised she had said that?

  “Hold on, let me check.”

  I found the notebook had handed me and looked through for a receipt from the cemetery.

  “Hey, they bought them for $4,095 each. I’ll check with the cemetery and see if they’ll buy them back. Don’t say anything to Dad.”

  “I won’t” And she hung up on me. Did people not say goodbye anymore?

  I decided to check my email. There was one from Leigh Ann that had come in while I was at the funeral home.

  Hi Don. I’ve been thinking about you this morning. I hope everything is going okay. I’m at work until noon and then I have to show a house in Hampton. After that I will be free. You have my number if you want to call. I don’t want to be pushy, I know you are busy.

  Leigh Ann

  I looked at my watch. It was twelve noon. How long did it take to show a house? I decided I’d wait until three and see if by then I could jack my courage up enough so that I could call her.

  I wanted a chili dog I decided so I got back in the truck and drove to Sonic and ordered a foot long, onion rings and an Orange Slush. I ate it in the car and then stopped at Food Lion on the way home to pick something out for dinner.

  I wandered up and down the aisles unable to decide on anything. I looked at my watch. It was 2:45. I had fifteen minutes if I was going to make that call. I finally chose a steak and a sweet potato. I hadn’t had a baked sweet potato since… Well, since before Miranda died.

  I looked at the dashboard clock in the truck. It was 3:05. Oops too late. I laughed at my “little” joke. I had finally screwed up my courage by the time I arrived home. I put my groceries away and opened my laptop to get Miranda’s number.

  What? Did I say Miranda? Oh God. Was that a sign I shouldn’t call Leigh Ann? No, that wasn’t it. I was just nervous and misspoke. Well, not misspoke but maybe misthought. If that was even a word!

  I dialed her number on my cell phone, hot Send and then hung up. I breathed in deeply. Okay I was ready. I dialed again. And hung up. What is the matter with me?

  Look Don, do you want to do this or not? Of course I do. If so why are you such a chicken?

  I dialed again. It rang. Once. Twice. She picked up on the third ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi.” I said.

  “Don?”

  “Leigh Ann?”

  “Oh gosh,” she said, “I was hoping it was you. I have been on pins and needles all day thinking about this call. I’ve been a nervous wreck. I bet you think I’m being silly!”

  “Not at all. I have been the same way. Oh gosh, I’m glad that’s over!” I laughed and she did too.

  Her voice lowered. “Are you okay, Don? I have been worried about you. You have had so much on you and I have been worried. About you.”

  “About that. Can I ask you a question? How can you be worried about me? You don’t even know me!”

  She didn’t say anything.

  “Leigh Ann? Are you there?”

  “I’m here, Don. Do you want the truth?”

  “Of course I do. Just tell me.”

  ‘How do I explain? I don’t want you to think I am crazy.”

  “I won’t. I swear. Just say it.”

  “Don, I have been alone for what seems like forever. I kept wishing someone, a man, would come along that would love me for who I am. I have faults like everyone. My ex-husband picked me apart. He pointed out every little flaw I had. He made me feel guilty. I had to stop and think before I did or said anything so I didn’t embarrass him. You just don’t know what that was like!”

  I could her tears in her voice.

  “I do, Leigh Ann, I know exactly how you felt. My mother did the exact thing to me. When she died the other day I didn’t feel sadness, I felt relief.”

  “I know that feeling! I felt lost and alone when we got divorced but most of all I felt relief!”

  We laughed and talked for a couple more hours. By that time it seemed like we had known one another for years. We had so much in common.

  Suddenly she said, “Oh look at the time! I didn’t know it was so late. Why didn’t you say something? I bet you are exhausted. I’m sorry I kept you up so late. Can you forgive me?”

  “There’s nothing to forgive you for. If you hadn’t said anything I’d have talked all night. I feel so good now after talking to you.”

  I sighed.

  “What?” She asked.

  “I don’t want to go. I’m afraid I’ll lose you so soon after I found you. Does that sound stupid? Childish?”

  “Not at all. I know just what you mean. So, do you want to get together this weekend still?”

  “Yes, of course! Where and when?”

  “Would it be too much to make a day of it or do you think we’d get sick of one another?”

  “I can’t imagine we will. I’m willing to try it if you are.”

  “Let’s talk tomorrow and make plans. I really have to get to bed. I have a staff meeting at eight in the morning. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Don. Have a good night. Call me around five?”

  “I will. Goodnight, Leigh Ann.”

  “Goodnight.”

  She hung up. I was a jumble of thoughts and feelings. And I was hungry! I put the sweet potato in the microwave while I cooked the steak in a frying pan with lots of butter.

  I ate in complete silence as I thought over what had happened throughout the day.

  Oh, crap! I had forgotten to call my dad! I dialed his phone but didn’t get an answer. I guess he was in bed. I cleaned up the kitchen and crawled into bed. I decided I’d go to work tomorrow instead of sitting around another day. If I didn�
�t have something to do I’m sure I’d lose my mind by five pm.

  Chapter 14

  Danny welcomed me back to work and most of the guys expressed condolences for my mom. I thought it’d be bad to actually say I didn’t care that she was gone. So I shook hands with them and said thanks.

  I dove right back into the work routine and over lunch I told Danny about Leigh Ann. He was truly happy for me.

  I called my dad and he seemed to be in better spirits. My cousins and sister had been with him a lot he said. They had cooked for him and he said he felt better. He asked me if I had gotten everything done at the funeral home and I assured him I had. He apologized for dropping it all on me. He said he just didn’t think he’d had the strength to do it then. I told him that was fine and I’d help him out, all he had to do was call.

  I got off right at five and called Leigh Ann from the truck. I was afraid I’d lose her going through the tunnel but the signal stayed strong and we talked all the way back to my house. She’d hung up when I pulled into the garage to give me time to get settled in and get some dinner but only after I promised to call her back as soon as I finished eating.

  We were acting like a couple of teenagers. It was exhilarating.

  When I called her back the first thing we talked about was Saturday. She asked what I wanted to do and I told her I was up for anything.

  “Do you like art?” She asked.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Have you ever been to the Chrysler Museum in Norfolk?”

  I smiled. “Actually I have been several times. It’s in the neighborhood where Miranda and I lived. We used to walk down there all the time.”

  “Oh.” She sounded disappointed. “I’ve never been. I thought that’d be a good place to explore together. But you’d probably be bored. Do you have another suggestion?”

  “Leigh Ann, I’d be happy to take you there! Let me show you around Norfolk. I know good places to eat too. What do you say?”

  “I’d like that. The day is in your hands.”

  “Okay, I have a question. How do we get together? You do remember we haven’t met in person yet don’t you?”

  “I’m very, very aware of that! Besides, I owe you a hug and you owe me a kiss!” We both laughed. “Do you want to pick me up at my house? Would that be okay?”

  “If you trust me to come to your house I’d like that. I promise you I’m not a stalker. Or a murderer.”

  I stopped talking. I was a murderer. I had almost completely forgotten about Resnick. I had actually also forgotten about Garvey. My happy mood came tumbling down at my feet. Would she still want to meet me if she knew I had killed a man?

  “Don? Don, are you there? Are you okay?”

  “What? Oh yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

  “You stopped talking and started breathing real fast. I thought you were having a panic attack or something and were getting ready to call our date off.”

  I laughed, “I’m sorry. I was trying to hold in a sneeze. I didn’t think that’d be a good beginning to a romantic date.”

  Oh, crap! Romantic date? What was I thinking?

  “So not it’s advanced to a romantic date has it? That’s fine with me. I haven’t had romance in a very long time. And I get a feeling that you are a very romantic man. Are you?”

  “I guess you’ll have to just wait and see m’lady.”

  She laughed. She gave me her address and asked if I knew how to get there. I told her I’d Google Map it and find my way.

  We talked until almost midnight. When we hung up I told her she’d have to call me the next time.

  “When to you want me to call, Don?”

  “Whenever you want, Leigh Ann.”

  We said our goodbyes and I went to bed. I didn’t even look up at Miranda’s picture that night. I realized it when I was brushing my teeth. I walked back out to the living room, flipped on the light and looked at her picture.

  “So what do you think, baby? Is this okay? Am I moving too fast? Would you tell me if you could? Of course you would. I love you.”

  I turned the light back off. I was just about to drop off when my phone rang.

  I fumbled for the phone and sleepingly answered it, “Hello?”

  “Don.”

  “Leigh Ann? Is everything okay?”

  “Everything is fine. Thanks for asking. I just wanted to hear your voice once more before I fell asleep. I’m sorry to bother you.”

  “Hey, never be sorry. It’s good to hear your voice too.”

  We talked into the dark until we fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning my battery was dead.

  Chapter 15

  The week had squeaked by but it was finally Saturday morning. Leigh Ann and I had talked on the phone a lot. Early in the morning, during the day while at work and late into the night. Like teenagers.

  There was definitely something between us. I couldn’t define it and I tried not to. Life was different these days. With the popularity of the Internet it seemed like it was easier to connect to people.

  I had talked to Danny about this one day over lunch.

  “Remember I told you to be careful?” He asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t want you to fall into something that isn’t real or could hurt you. You don’t know this woman.”

  I cut in, “But we’ve talked on the phone so much. I don’t think she’s lying to me or trying to trick me.”

  “But Don, you don’t know that for sure. Online and sometimes on the phone a person can be whoever they want you to believe they are. I hope this works out for you. I really do. I think it’d be great if we could double date sometimes. But my main concern right now is that you don’t get hurt. I think you’re still raw, in an emotional state if you will.

  Look what you’ve been through; the death of your beautiful wife, moving and all the crap you went through with getting the house sold, finding out about Garvey being there and his subsequent arrest and your mom getting sick with an incurable illness and her death. Your dad piled everything on you and I think you handled it admirably. Oh, Bonnie and I will be at the funeral.

  But what I am trying to say is I feel like you are in a vulnerable position. Not that I don’t think you can handle this situation but I want you to be careful.

  Okay, I’ve said enough. As always I’ll be around if you need me. Call me anytime.”

  I thanked him and thought about what he said. Now I had a little doubt in my mind. Maybe that was a good thing. I don’t think Leigh Ann was trying to trick me but like Danny said, you just didn’t know.

  I thought I’d know when I met her and that time was now.

  I pulled into her driveway and her front door flew open. She stepped out onto the porch and she waved. I waved back. I nervous, single movement wave.

  Her smile was beautiful. Her teeth were so white and her hair was blowing in the wind. All of her, from the top of her head to the end of her toes. Only one word sufficed. Beautiful. I couldn’t help but stare. Was this really happening? Was I going on a date with her?

  She put her hand down and frowned a little. I wondered why. Was something wrong? Then it hit me. What an idiot I was! I was still sitting in the truck!

  I jumped out and slammed the door.

  “Is there something wrong? I thought you might have changed your mind and were deciding on whether to leave or not.”

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry. Do you want to know the truth? It might sound a little sappy. But I was just overtaken by your beauty. You are the most beautiful woman I have seen in a long time. Even more beautiful than those Photoshopped women on the porn sites.”

  Her mouth fell open and then she began to laugh.

  “You are so silly!”

  By then we were standing in front of one another, just inches apart.

  She reached her right hand out and stroked my beard.

  “It’s softer than I thought it’d be. Can I have that kiss now?”

  I nodded and said, “If I can have my hug
.”

  She stepped into me and I wrapped my arms around her. She tilted her head back and stepped up on her tiptoes and we kissed. Not too long and not too short. A just right kiss. And I immediately wanted another but she stepped back from me and smiled that smile.

  “The day is finally here isn’t it? Have you been nervous?”

  “Me, nah.” I laughed.

  “I haven’t either. Other than worrying if my hair looked right, and my makeup was done and going through almost every outfit I have at least a dozen times I haven’t even given it a second thought.”

  “Yeah,” I said, “You’re almost as good a liar as I am.”

  We laughed again.

  “Would you like to come in and see my house or are you ready to go?”

  “Whatever you want to do. I said I’d take care of the day so once we pull out of the driveway it’s all on me.”

  She thought for a moment and then said, “My day is in your hands. Let me get my purse.”

  She stepped into the house and returned quickly with a huge purse! It looked like she had packed for a weekend away.

  And then I stopped and thought,’ Is that what she’s expecting? To make this last all weekend?’ I panicked a little bit to be honest.

  She looked at me, “What? Do I look like I’ve packed for a weekend get-a-way with this huge purse? I just carry a lot of stuff with me. I have a small clutch in the bag that I’ll carry with me when we’re walking around.”

  “No, uh uh, I wasn’t thinking about that at all.”

  “There you go lying again. But you know what? I’m flattered that you’d have that thought. It makes me feel desirable that a man would even entertain the thought of spending the night with me.”

  I opened her door for her and then climbed into the driver’s seat. We set a path for Interstate 64. We talked while I drove. She fiddled with the radio until she found a radio station we both liked. By the time we got to the Granby Street exit ramp her hand was resting on my thigh. It felt good.