Eternally

by Maureen Child

  “I need you as well,” Kieran said, stepping out onto the terrace to take her hands in his and guide her back into the warmth of her room. “But don’t risk reaching for my mind, Julie. Don’t allow the beast an opportunity.”

  “I had to see if it was going to do it again.”

  “I won’t allow it.”

  “Can you stop it?” she asked, watching him as he stepped past her to close and secure the French doors.

  “I will find a way,” he assured her, turning back to face her again. “The beast cannot get into the castle. It cannot take over an unwilling body.”

  She drew a slow, deep breath. “But it can kill me.”

  “No.” He moved to hold her, wrapping her in his arms and pinning her to him. “It will not. You will be safe, I swear it on my life.”

  Her heart thudded in her chest. Her stomach spun and twisted and her blood thickened until it ran like sweet, hot honey through her veins. There was so much more she should ask him. So much more she should know. Yet now, all she could think of was being with him. Having him bury his body inside hers.

  She pushed out of his arms, untied the cloth belt at her waist and shrugged out of her robe. She watched his eyes flash that burnished silver again and felt his desire pumping through his body.

  “You are a temptation I cannot seem to resist.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” she said, stepping up to him again, going up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck and hang on. “Don’t resist, Kieran. I need you inside me. I need your warmth. Your strength. Don’t keep them from me.”

  He growled low in his throat and walked forward, until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the mattress. Then he bent her back and uncoiled her arms from his neck. She reached for him, but he shook his head and tore off his shirt. His gaze never left hers as he quickly stripped, then came back to her.

  Scooping his hands under her butt, he lifted her off the bed, her long legs dangling, feet unable to find purchase.

  “Kieran…” Breathless, Julie hung suspended in his grip and met his hungry gaze with a fresh, hot hunger of her own.

  “Give yourself to me, Julie,” he whispered as he bent his head to cover her center with his mouth.

  She gasped, shivered and sighed, then clenched her fists into the silky duvet beneath her naked body. His mouth worked her most intimate folds. Lips and tongue teased and tormented her, swirling, tasting, licking. Incredible, overpowering sensations washed through her in wave after wave of devastating yearning. It was too much and not nearly enough. Time stood still and yet raced forward, dragging her with it. Expectation coiled deep within her, tightening, tightening, until she thought she would lose her mind and then, finally, her release crashed through her, leaving her weak and trembling and so overcome, tears stung the backs of her eyes.

  Then Kieran was there, laying her down, covering her body with his. His pale blue eyes flashed silver as they had before and she recognized the passion flaring inside him.

  She smiled up at him, reaching for him even as those so-familiar eyes darkened, shifted into those of a stranger. Fear blossomed inside her as his dazzling, shining, silver eyes became something different. Something terrifying.

  His eyes were now empty, black fathomless depths that swallowed her reflection.

  Julie tried to scoot out from under him, but his strength held her pinned to the mattress as his features altered, his expression changing, becoming someone she didn’t even know. His hard, strong body tightened and pushed into hers. He smiled down at her and his mind touched hers briefly with a darkness she’d never sensed there before. It was back.

  And inside Kieran.

  12

  I have you…

  That dark, insidious voice slid through her mind, dripping with evil, with the promise of pain and even her soul cringed.

  “No!” She shouted the single word as she tried to buck his much heavier body off of hers. But the action was as useless as trying to singlehandedly lift a car. She wouldn’t win in a physical contest. Her only chance was to reach the heart of the man she knew. “Kieran!”

  Julie slapped at his shoulders, grabbed his thick, black hair with both hands and yanked. She stared up into those empty black eyes and fought the shudder of revulsion swimming inside her. She had to reach him. Had to bring him back and banish the demon.

  “Kieran, fight it! Come back to me. Come back now!”

  His features shifted, morphing again as she watched, his eyes glazed, lightened and he shook his head as if trying to wake from a deep sleep. His body still pinned hers to the mattress, but this wasn’t lovemaking, this was about power.

  Brutal strength.

  Domination.

  Moonlight glittered in the room, a pale wash of color that couldn’t even touch the shadows crouching near.

  Her heels drummed against his backside as she forced herself to look into his eyes. Her mind reached for his. She was so new at this. So completely unused to trying to reach anyone telepathically, that she was desperately afraid she would only connect with the demon infiltrating Kieran’s mind. But she had to try.

  Hear me, Kieran. Her mind focused, she met his gaze, burying the fear within, focusing only on the need to bring him back. You’re with me. With Julie. Come back, Kieran. Come back now.

  His eyes closed, his jaw clenched and his grip on her body tightened until she felt as though he was going to snap the bones in her upper arms. And still she tried.

  Kieran, you have to hear me. You have to come back to me. Heartrending seconds ticked past and she knew both her own and Kieran’s lives hung in the balance. Please come back, Kieran. Fight this thing. Stay with me. Keep me safe.

  That last thought she’d sent him purposely. She knew the warrior in him would respond to the plea for help. To protect her. Then she held her breath and prayed as she never had before.

  Julie?

  “Oh, thank God,” she whispered as she watched the darkness recede from his eyes, leaving only the pale, icy blue she knew so well. Instantly he released her and in the next moment, he was pulling his body free of hers and leaping off the bed as if he couldn’t trust himself to be near her any longer.

  Chills racked her and she grabbed at the duvet beneath her, pulling it up and over her bare shoulders. She scooted off the bed, but kept a wary distance between them just in case that other presence was still close.

  “Are you…”

  His head snapped up and his gaze speared into hers. “Yes, it’s me.”

  She knew that just by looking at him. His own soul shone from his eyes now and the swirl of darkness was gone as if it had never been. But that didn’t explain what had happened…or how it had happened.

  “What was that?” she asked, her fingers clutching at the duvet as she moved across her bedroom and turned on one of the Tiffany lamps sitting on the bedside tables. The stained glass lampshade threw a kaleidoscope of soft blues and greens and reds across the bed and onto the floor. Kieran’s breath huffed in and out of his chest as he stood naked in front of her. As clearly as if he’d spoken of it, she felt his shame and fury arcing around him like lightning in a flashing summer storm.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked and she knew just what it cost him to have to ask.

  “No,” she said, quick to assure him despite the fact that what had just happened had left her insides quaking. “You didn’t. And if you had, it wouldn’t have been you.”

  His gaze narrowed on her, but she wasn’t afraid. His rage was directed inward. The presence that had invaded him had left him as shaken as she and she knew he wouldn’t thank her for noticing that.

  “My fault,” he whispered, keeping his gaze locked with hers.

  “How is that your fault?” she demanded and as the fear drained from her body, her own sense of indignation on his behalf flared into life.

  “Because the demon should never have been able to enter my thoughts. Should never have been given the opportunity.”

  “How did it happen th
en?”

  “I…relaxed the mental barriers I usually have in place,” he admitted, folding his arms over his broad, muscled chest. “I lost myself in you, and let my guard down.” He lifted his chin, threw his hair back from his face and added, “And because of that, I nearly cost you your life.”

  “You didn’t, though. I’m safe and the demon’s gone.” A single thread of fear still rippled through her as she wondered about the connection she shared with Kieran. As it grew, would the demon’s power to reach her grow as well? It was something she would have to think about carefully. Later. When she was alone and sure that Kieran wouldn’t be able to hear her thoughts so easily.

  “You don’t have to fear me,” he said tightly and she could hear how it hurt him to have to say it.

  “Obviously you’re still dipping into my mind whenever you feel like it. I wish you’d stop. It’s creepy.”

  A small, weary smile curved his mouth. “I will try to remember.”

  “Thanks.” In the silence, she wondered if now that she and Kieran had mated, would the demon be able to find her more easily in Kieran’s presence? Maybe she should make a run for it. She’d gotten out of the castle once, she could to it again. Maybe if she put plenty of distance between herself and Kieran, the demon wouldn’t be able to find her. And it sure wouldn’t be able to use her to get to Kieran.

  “No,” he said. “Don’t think to run again. You will not succeed a second time.”

  “You’re doing it again.”

  “Clearly I must,” he countered. “You’re a very headstrong woman. To keep ahead of your plans, I must know your thoughts.”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “You know what I’m thinking. Tell me I’m wrong, then. We’re so close now, Kieran, the demon can find me even more easily if I’m with you. If I left—”

  “I would be spending all of my time finding you rather than tracking the demon. Innocents would die.”

  The air left her lungs like a balloon with a slow leak. That’s just how she felt. Deflated.

  “If we’re together, we’re that much easier to find. Why would it look for me if I wasn’t with you?”

  “To draw me to you, woman,” he said and the old snarl was back in his voice. Strangely comforting, somehow. “It won’t be able to get into my mind again, I have ways of blocking it. But if you were out there alone, Julie, you would not be safe. You must believe me. Even if you are now frightened of me—you are safe only with me.”

  “I’m not frightened of you, Kieran.” When his eyebrows lifted in silent question, she added, “Okay fine, I’m still a little weirded out, but what happened a few minutes ago? That wasn’t you. You wouldn’t hurt me. I know that.”

  He shook his head slowly. “You defend me? After…” He waved one hand at the bed behind her.

  She tried a smile and realized that it wasn’t as forced as she had expected. “I defend you. And if I can, then there’s no reason for you to punish yourself.”

  He blew out a breath and cautiously closed the distance between them. His hands came down on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes, searching for the fear that was now buried deep inside her.

  “I wasn’t expecting the demon to link with me,” he admitted. “I will be now. It won’t happen again.”

  She nodded, accepting his statement at face value. For the moment, anyway.

  “This has never happened to you before?”

  “Never,” he said tightly, disgust clear on his features. Drawing her back to the bed, he eased her down, then sat beside her. “I told you before, every demon is different. Just as every Guardian is different.”

  “Explain again,” she said, watching him as the play of colored light shifted over his face with his changing expression.

  He sighed, lifted his head and stared through the French doors at the night beyond the glass. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, nearly hypnotic.

  “The demon dimensions are filled with beings eager to cross into this one, where the prey is easy.”

  “Prey.” She swallowed. “That would be us. Humans.”

  “Yes. Each demon is as different as each mortal is from another. Some have powers others lack. Some are evil, some are…not.”

  “Not evil demons. Interesting.” She nodded. “Go on.”

  “As there have always been demons, so have the Guardians always existed,” he started. “We are immortal unless we choose to quit the fight.”

  “Does that happen often?”

  “No,” he said with a slow shake of his head. “But after thousands of years, even an Immortal can tire of the never-ending battles.”

  She didn’t like the idea of Kieran walking off into the sunset, and blocked the image from her mind, just in case he was listening in again.

  “The oldest remaining of us was once a Centurion in ancient Rome.”

  “Whoa.” Just the thought of a Roman soldier in modern times was enough to really stagger the imagination.

  A quick smile touched his mouth and was gone again in an instant. “There are thousands of us, each with different abilities. We are assigned a territory to protect and rarely leave it.”

  “Who does the assigning?”

  He laughed a bit and said, “You are a reporter, aren’t you?”

  “Relax, Kieran. This isn’t for the papers, it’s for me.”

  “I know that. Truly.” He touched her hand then pulled back as if half worried she would pull away before he could. “His name is Michael.”

  “Mike?” Julie just stared at him. “The head Guardian’s name is Mike? That’s so…boring.”

  “I will be sure to tell him you said so.”

  “Who is he?”

  “I don’t believe anyone knows,” Kieran mused. “He appears at the moment of death and offers the choice I have told you about.” Shifting his gaze around the room, he then turned to look at her. “Once you choose, you are trained, given an endless supply of wealth—”

  “Handy,” she said, understanding now how this amazing castle had come to be.

  “—and you are given assignments.”

  “How? Letter? Telegram? Phone call?”

  “Sometimes,” he said, smiling at her incredulous tone. “And sometimes, it is no more than a telepathic message, warning us that a demon has entered our territory.”

  “Do you ever wish you’d chosen differently?” she asked, reaching to stroke the back of his hand with her fingertip.

  He sucked in air and pulled his hand from under hers. “No.”

  “Why, Kieran? When it was your turn to choose, why didn’t you just go on to Heaven or whatever? Why choose to fight for eternity?”

  “It is what I know.” He shrugged. “What I do.”

  “Why did that English knight kill you?” she asked quietly. She figured now was the best time to ask the question that had bothered her since she’d first looked into his past. He’d asked her not to discuss the day of his death, but she knew that the guilt he was feeling at the moment, might be enough to prompt him to tell her the story. “When I saw your memories, I knew that he was there only to kill you. Why?”

  His mouth flattened into a grim line and he inhaled sharply through gritted teeth. “He was my wife’s lover,” Kieran said, spitting the words out as if they tasted bitter. “She wanted me dead so she could marry him. Elevate her station at court.”

  That was the secret behind the old pain in his eyes. Betrayal. Well she sure knew how that felt. But for him, a man of his times, the pain must have been even sharper.

  “Bitch.”

  An unexpected snort of laughter shot from him. “Yes, she was. A shame I didn’t discover that fact until after I was dead.”

  “And you’ve been alone ever since.”

  He turned his head to look at her. “Until you.”

  How could a man look so powerful and so haunted at the same time? And how could that combination affect her so deeply? She felt his strength and even, staggeringly enough, an out of character humility. This man’s
strength and confidence and well, arrogance, was so much a part of him, it shook her to the bone to see him even slightly humbled.

  “And you believe I’m your Destined Mate.”

  “I know it,” he said quietly. “As do you.”

  The duvet slipped down her shoulders and his upper arm brushed hers. Electricity arced between them, white-hot and insistent and though Julie wanted to deny the truth, she simply couldn’t.

  They’d known each other only a few days and yet he was more a part of her than anyone she’d ever known before. What did that mean? For her future? For her life? If she was his Destined Mate, did that mean giving up everything else in her life that was important to her? Her work? Her home? The simple joy of going to a mall and not being hunted by a psycho demon?

  But his eyes were locked on hers, demanding that she acknowledge what lay between them and she couldn’t remain silent.

  “Yes,” she finally said. “I know it. What I don’t know is what it means. For me. For you.”

  He nodded, clearly pleased that she had at least, accepted the inevitable.

  “Now that we have mated, it means that I will have the strength I need to capture the demon.”

  “That’s why you brought me here, isn’t it?” she said. “Not so much to protect me, but to use me to gain the strength you needed.”

  “Yes,” he answered, the truth shining in his eyes, but melded with another truth he didn’t give voice to. “In the beginning, I suspected who you were and wanted the power you could give me.”

  “And what I wanted didn’t matter.”

  “No,” he said, “it didn’t.” As if he couldn’t sit beside her and confess to how he’d used her for his own purposes, he pushed off the bed and stalked naked to the French doors. Once there, he turned to look at her again. “What mattered was being able to track the demon. To fulfill my duty. Julie, I have lived for centuries, doing just that. My only thought to protect those I swore to defend.”

  She did understand. She felt his emotions sliding through him in a tangled web of frustration and pride and…not love, but need. And still, she had to ask, “Just where did I fit into your duty, Kieran? Aren’t I one of those you’re supposed to be protecting? Defending?”