The Life You Left

by Carmel Harrington

  Sarah ignored her mother in law and screamed again, ‘Edward don’t you dare give me one more line of bullshit telling me to trust my instincts. Just tell me where they are!’

  Rita and Joey looked at the wall where Sarah was screaming, puzzled. Art and Katie had stopped their game of Guess Who and were staring at Sarah too.

  ‘Has she been drinking?’ Ruby asked James and walked closer to Sarah. ‘What’s going on Sarah? Who are you talking to?’

  ‘I can’t tell you where they are.’ Edward replied gently. ‘But you can work this out Sarah. You know you can. Tommy is alive. Both of them are. You can feel that too.’

  Sarah closed her eyes and thought about her gorgeous son and she could sense him. Edward was right; she could sense he was alive. But she also knew that he needed her and was in grave danger.

  She turned to her brother. ‘They’re in trouble, James. It’s dark out there. We have to find them. Before it’s too late’

  James paled, listening to his sister. ‘Do you know what time his flight was? Maybe he’s still on the way to the airport. Maybe whatever you have seen hasn’t happened yet? It’s plausible isn’t it? Think about what nearly happened to Joey. You stopped that.’

  ‘What about Joey?’ Rita demanded. Sarah looked around the room and saw only confusion and fear in the faces of all there. She recognised the look, it was the same one her parents had when she told them about Edward all those years ago.

  ‘It’s happening again.’ She whispered. Memories of her childhood came flooding back. The fear. The anger. The realisation that nobody believed her.

  But she didn’t have time to worry about what they all thought about her right now. Her son needed her. The man she’d shared so many important moments with over the last ten years needed her and she wouldn’t let either of them down.

  ‘Art, can you do me a favour, could you bring Katie and Ella to Katie’s room and read her a story?’ Sarah asked.

  He looked completely bewildered with the conversation he’d just overheard but to his credit he got up and asked no questions, coaxing Katie to come with him, scooping up Ella at the same time.

  ‘I know you are all wondering what’s going on, but right now I can’t go into it. Can you just trust me and leave it at that.’ Sarah asked.

  Ruby walked over to her and said, ‘I’ve always felt that you were hiding something from me, all these years. And whoever this Edward is, he’s part of it, isn’t he?’

  Sarah squeezed her hand in response and turned to her mother-in-law.

  ‘Please don’t ask me any questions right now, I promise I will explain, but not now!’

  Rita looked unsure, then Joey spoke, ‘She’ll tell us in her own good time what’s going on.’

  So Rita nodded at Sarah.

  ‘Right, by any chance do you know what flight was he booked on?’ Sarah asked. ‘I want to work out what time he would have gone to the airport at.’

  ‘I know it was with Aer Lingus, but that’s about it.’ Rita said apologetically.

  ‘That’s a start.’ Sarah said. ‘I’ll go grab the laptop and I’ll see if I can find out if the flight left or not. Maybe he’s found Tommy and they are on their way back here. His phone is always out of battery.’

  Rita smiled and started to relax, ‘Oh yes, that makes sense.’

  ‘Absolutely.’ Joey said, patting her on her hand. ‘I never think to charge my phone. If I had a euro for the amount of times I get caught out with my battery dead, well I’d be able to retire early!’

  Sarah felt a shiver run down her spine; the feeling of dread once more creeping up on her. She hoped that she was wrong, but somehow she felt that there was bad news coming.

  ‘Joey, why don’t you go put the kettle on.’ Rita said to him. ‘Make us all a cuppa.’

  Sarah sat down with the laptop and switched it on.

  ‘Ok, let’s see what I can find out.’ She logged onto the Aer Lingus website and quickly found the area that showed all the daily departure and arrival details. ‘His flight was supposed to be at around four, I think.’ Rita said.

  ‘Right, here we go, I’ve got the flight. There was only one flight at that time, so it has to be this one.’

  ‘Well was it delayed?’ Rita asked.

  ‘Nope, doesn’t appear to be.’ Sarah responded. ‘No word on any flights being delayed. Tell you what; I’ll go ring them, just in case the information is not correct online.’

  She picked up the phone and called the helpline. After a few minutes of frustrating conversation with a couple of different people she returned to the living room where Joey was pouring the tea.

  ‘They can’t release passenger lists, no matter how much I begged and pleaded with them.’ Sarah said. ‘But I’m sure he wouldn’t get on a plane with Tommy, nor would he leave him behind on his own. So wherever they are, it’s not in London.’

  ‘Try ringing him again.’ Sarah said to Rita.

  She picked up her mobile and hit redial. ‘I can still get no answer from him.’ Rita said. ‘I’ll ring Michelle again and see if she’s seen him yet or heard from him.’

  It was evident from the shouting on the other end of the phone that he’d not turned up yet.

  ‘No joy?’ Joey said to Rita when she put the phone down.

  ‘She’s livid.’ Rita said.

  ‘Maybe he’s hiding from her.’ Joey said dryly. ‘If he has any sense he would.’

  Sarah thought to herself that on another day she would be cheering that Michelle was not showing herself in the best light to Rita and Joey. She felt threatened enough about Michelle being in Paul’s life and, eventually, the kids’ as well. But right now all that nonsense seemed so trivial.

  ‘It’s just typical of Paul disappearing like this.’ Rita said, her eyes beginning to tear up. ‘He swore he’d never put me through this again. Not after the last time.’

  ‘I hate to be the one to say this, but somebody has to. He does have form, doesn’t he?’ Joey said. ‘Maybe he’s done a runner again?’

  ‘I’ve been thinking the same.’ Rita admitted quietly. ‘I know that you said he seemed completely fine earlier today, but, Sarah, in all honesty, can you say that you had any inkling he was going to run away the last time? Because I certainly didn’t!’

  Sarah had to admit that she hadn’t. ‘But Tommy hadn’t stowed away in his car the last time.’

  She kept thinking about the image she’d seen of Paul earlier. What if he was already hurt? She closed her eyes and thought about the image she’d had earlier when she slipped on the ice – Paul lying motionless and the bright red blood staining the white snow.

  She didn’t want to worry Rita any further, she looked scared enough, but she couldn’t just pretend that everything was fine either. Rita and Joey had no idea about Sarah’s psychic abilities yet, but she was afraid to share them. What if they thought she was stark raving mad? Actually scratch that, after witnessing her screaming at the wall at someone called Edward earlier they all most definitely thought she was off her head. She thought about Art and felt sad all of sudden. Whatever they might have had in the future was gone before it had a chance to start, she was sure of that.

  The more people that knew, the more on edge she felt. Rita was the same generation as her mother and father, likely to react the same way. And she’d only just reconnected with Ruby; she couldn’t bear to lose her either. Her instincts told her only to tell people if she absolutely had to.

  Sarah desperately tried to think of something she could do to help track Tommy down. Anything that meant she didn’t have to tell them about her visions.

  ‘James, what should we do now?’ she pleaded with her brother.

  ‘Let’s ring his car hire company.’ he said. ‘We can see if he returned the car or not before his flight. Okay, million dollar question, anyone know what car hire company he used?’ James asked them.

  Rita shook her head. Sarah too.

  That would have been too easy, he thought. He picked up Sarah�
��s laptop and googled car hire in Dublin airport.

  ‘Twenty companies operate from Dublin Airport.’ James said to them. ‘Could be worse I suppose! Right, might as well start with all the As!’

  James rang the first company on the list.

  ‘Oh hello, I wonder if you can help me. I’m Paul Lawler; I’m calling about the car we hired from you this weekend. I seem to have left one of my children’s toys in the boot. Would you mind checking if it’s there please? My baby is simply crying her eyes out and just won’t settle without that toy.’

  ‘He’s good.’ Joey said with admiration to Rita.

  James took a mock bow to them both.

  ‘You have no record of us hiring a car from you? Oh I’m terribly sorry I must have dialled the wrong number.’ James pressed end to the call.

  ‘Well it’s not them, 1 down, 19 to go!’ James said to them all.

  Eight phone calls later and James struck gold. ‘We’re on; they’re going to check the car for me!’

  ‘So he has dropped the car to the airport.’ Rita said. ‘At least we know that much. So where the devil is he now?’

  After about five minutes of waiting James frowned as he put down the phone thanking the clerk.

  ‘Paul hired the car from them, but he hasn’t returned it yet. It’s way overdue.’ This was met with silence as they all digested the news.

  ‘Is it possible that he left the car in the wrong car park and he got that flight to England and brought Tommy with him? But he hasn’t gone home to your woman Michelle?’ Joey said to the two women. ‘I mean, she’s pretty narky that one. He might be delaying going home because he knows he’ll be getting it in the neck when he does arrive home with the little boy!’

  ‘What do you think, Sarah?’ Rita asked her. ‘Maybe Joey’s right, he’s just avoiding Michelle and that’s all?’

  Sarah would have loved to agree with Joey. It would be just like Paul to dodge going home until after he thought Michelle was asleep if he knew she was in a bad mood. He’d often not come home till really late with Sarah, rather than face the music for whatever he was in trouble for. And while she would be furious with him for taking Tommy without her permission, it was preferable than them both being missing. But Sarah kept coming back to the image of him lying in the snow. She knew without Edward saying so, they were in trouble.

  ‘I think maybe we should call the hospitals.’ James said quietly ‘Let’s be safe rather than sorry. And I’m going to call Roger, see if he can help.’

  ‘You think he’s hurt don’t you, you think something has happened to them?’ Rita asked him, panic creeping into her voice again.

  ‘I don’t know Rita, but I won’t lie to you, I’m a bit worried myself. I just hope I’m wrong.’ James admitted.

  The phone rang and they all jumped.

  ‘It might be Paul!’ Rita said.

  Sarah answered it quickly, ‘Hello?’

  ‘Is that Sarah?’ A cultured English accent asked.

  It was Michelle. She’d never forget that voice ever; it would haunt her for a long time.

  ‘Hello Michelle.’ Sarah responded.

  ‘So I presume he’s with you!’ Michelle accused. ‘You begged and begged him to stay with you so much you wore him down. I knew this was going to happen!’

  She looked over at Rita and Joey and mouthed to them, ‘Michelle.’

  ‘You were always going to wear him down doing a big guilt trip. I knew it would only be a matter of time before you dragged him back to you and your children. What I’d like to know is how you can live with yourself, have you no self-respect? He doesn’t love you any more!’ She spat down the phone to Sarah.

  Sarah was flabbergasted. The absolute nerve of the woman was incredible. She’d had affair with her husband and he’d left her and their three children for her, and somehow now it was Sarah that was supposedly guilty of trying to steal him back. She tried to speak but each time she opened her mouth Michelle just kept shouting and screaming down the phone. And the more she spoke and shouted the more her posh accent seemed to unravel. Sarah was getting fed up listening to the tirade of abuse and no matter how much she tried to step in and explain that Paul wasn’t hiding in her attic, Michelle just continue to speak over her.

  Eventually she decided she had no choice but to try to shout over her, talking just wasn’t working!

  ‘Michelle if you let me get a word in I’ll be able to tell you that Paul isn’t with me.’

  Let’s see if that got through. No, she didn’t hear that. She was too busy telling Sarah that Paul wouldn’t stay with her; he’d soon get bored again and come back to her again.

  God, she was a vile woman. Sarah almost felt sorry for Paul. What had he gotten himself messed up with?

  ‘I’m going to try to speak again, but if you don’t shut up and let me I’m hanging up!’

  The tone in Sarah’s voice seemed to work and this time Michelle went quiet.

  Sarah said to her gently. ‘I promise you that Paul is not here. He left my house today to get his flight. And I’ve not heard from him since. And I’ve more than Paul on my mind right now as Tommy our son is missing too. We think he snuck into Paul’s car before he left for the airport.’

  Quiet again. ‘Michelle, are you ok?’

  ‘If he’s not with you, then where is he?’ Michelle started to cry. ‘My poor baby, my poor little Paulie baby.’

  Sarah couldn’t believe her ears. Not one word of sympathy or acknowledgement that a little boy was missing. She was about to let her have it, but she thought of the baby that Michelle was carrying and no matter what she thought of that woman, she was pregnant and getting upset wouldn’t do her or the baby any good.

  ‘I don’t know where he is. But we’re trying to find that out. My brother James is here and we have called the Gardaí. I promise you that we’ll call you as soon as we know anything. And Michelle, if he turns up with you, will you do the same and call us?’

  She promised she would and they both hung up.

  ‘She’s a right madam that one.’ Rita said crossly. ‘I could hear her yelling down the phone all the way over here!’

  ‘Maybe it’s just her hormones?’ Sarah said in an attempt at being magnanimous.

  ‘Well I’ve seen you through three pregnancies Sarah, and you’ve never shouted like a common fishwife in any of them!’

  Sarah smiled at her. ‘I probably felt like it once or twice though. She’s just upset and worried.’ Sarah was stunned that she was even sticking up for that woman. She surprised herself a lot these days. ‘I’m going to go check on the kids, make sure they’re ok with Art.’

  Art was standing at the door of Katie’s room and beckoned Sarah to look. Katie was lying still in her bed with her teddy bear held in tight to her chest. She couldn’t sleep unless she had one of her cuddly toys wrapped up tightly in her arms. Sarah went in and kissed her daughter tenderly. She wanted more than anything to shield her from any distress. She was oblivious to the fact that Daddy was missing along with Tommy. She really didn’t think Katie would be able to cope if he disappeared for the second time again. As for Tommy, they were best friends. Ella was also fast asleep tucked up into the corner of her cot. She always needed to feel something up against her head to get to sleep. No matter how many times Sarah put her in the middle of the bed; she’d find her way to the top or the bottom.

  ‘Art, I can’t thank you enough.’ Sarah said to him. ‘I can’t believe you got them into bed.’

  ‘I’m happy to help. They are great kids.’ He acknowledged. ‘Any news?’

  ‘Not yet. I’m scared though.’ She whispered. She looked up at him warily. ‘About before, I’m sure you must be wondering who I was talking to?’

  ‘I’d be lying if I said I’m not curious as to what all that was about. But it’s not important right now. You can explain all when Tommy is back.’ He looked at her intently and seemed to make a decision. Walking over to her purposefully he pulled her into his arms and held her clo
se. She was shocked to find that in this extreme circumstance she could still feel so relaxed in his embrace. He reached down and caressed her cheek and whispered so quietly, ‘Sarah, beautiful Sarah,’ that she wondered had he said it at all.

  He then cupped her face in his hands and, with more tenderness than she’d ever been shown, he leaned in and kissed her gently for just a second.

  She looked up at him, confused once again by the reaction this man could get from her.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Art began to apologise. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

  ‘There’s nothing to be sorry about.’ Sarah replied feeling herself blush. ‘But I can’t do this right now. I must get back to the others.’ She scurried away to the living room again, flustered by the encounter.

  She heard Roger’s car pull into the drive. ‘It’s snowing again.’ He said as he ran into the house. ‘It’s absolutely bitter out there. And the roads are treacherous too. There’s hardly anyone out at all. Sorry it took me so long to get here.’

  He walked in and stood in front of the open fire, trying to warm up.

  James walked over to him and filled him in on what they knew so far.

  ‘First thing to do is to see if I can find out if he was on that flight or not with or without Tommy. At least we’ll know what country he’s in then.’ Roger said to them all.

  ‘They wouldn’t tell us.’ Rita said. ‘Sarah called them earlier.’

  ‘They’ll be happy enough to tell me, don’t worry.’ Roger said to her.

  Roger stood up and walked into the kitchen, dialling his phone as he walked.

  Sarah, Rita and Joey sat in silence waiting for Roger to come back in.

  ‘He never made that flight.’ Roger said to them all. ‘So at least we now know he’s in Ireland.’

  ‘He has had an accident on the ice somewhere between here and the airport. They are hurt and need help, I’m sure of it.’ Sarah said emphatically.

  ‘What am I missing here?’ Roger asked no one in particular.

  ‘When you work it out, let me know!’ Ruby answered him, then added under her breath, ‘Because Sarah sure as hell is keeping something from us.’