The Life You Left

by Carmel Harrington

  ‘Scared and worried. .’ Sarah answered. ‘But he is taking it in his stride.’ Sarah was as always extremely proud of him. What he’d been through and he was coping extraordinarily well.

  ‘By the way, Katie was asking questions at breakfast, so I had to tell her something. I told her that Daddy had banged his head and he was asleep right now, but having lots of fun dreams about his three kids.’

  ‘That was a lovely thing to say to her.’ Sarah said.

  ‘Katie was so cute. She said to me, ‘Maybe he’s in Chocolate Land in his dreams? He might be climbing the Toblerone tree right this minute. The imagination she has!’

  ‘We all visit Chocolate Land every night in in our house.’ Sarah explained to Ruby.

  ‘I figured as much! I told Katie that it sounds like a fun place to dream about, so I think that’s where your Daddy is alright. I know that if I was sleeping right now, that’s where I’d like to be!’

  ‘Thanks, I’d be lost without you. Can you tell Katie that Mammy said, Daddy always loved Chocolate Land and I bet he’s having a swim in the Cadbury’s swimming pool now.’

  ‘Will do. Oh and I delivered those cupcakes to Centra for you too an hour ago. So that’s one less thing for you to worry about.’

  ‘I’d totally forgotten about those! For that, you get a packet of dry roasted peanuts thrown in with the G&T’s!’ Sarah said smiling.

  Sarah marvelled at how she had ever managed without Ruby.

  She then gave Ruby details on what she needed to pack for the children before saying goodbye.

  ‘Ruby is on her way with Katie and Ella shortly.’ She told the others, noting James face lighting up as soon as her name was mentioned.

  Rita was relieved to hear they were on their way too. She didn’t want to frighten Sarah any more than she had to, but she was very worried. The words ‘critical’ were being bandied about a lot and Rita was terrified that she was going to lose her son. She could hardly bear it.

  Chapter Thirty Two

  Stubble was beginning to grow on Mal’s chin and he looked tired. Nothing like a night in the cells to take its toll on your appearance, Roger thought to himself. Sitting beside Mal was a woman with a sharp face and short black hair.

  She stood up to greet the two detectives, offering her hand to Roger. ‘Elaine Rochford.’ She said to them both in a clipped tone that matched her face perfectly. ‘Mr Wickham is now officially my client. And I’m a very busy woman, so let’s get this wrapped up quickly shall we?’

  Roger nodded to her in greeting and sat down.

  ‘So Detective McElvoy, how much longer are we going to continue this little façade of yours?’

  ‘What façade would that be?’ Roger asked her mildly.

  ‘The façade I am referring to, Detective McElvoy, is the one that you are pretending you have even one whit of evidence to hold my client here. You’ve been questioning him now for over twenty-four hours and I’m seriously considering issuing an enquiry into how you’ve handled this.’

  Roger looked and Johnny and smiled. She was going straight for the jugular, trying to frighten them both into releasing Wickham.

  ‘So unless you’re going to charge my client, we’ll be leaving right now.’ She stood up again and gestured to Mal to do the same. He looked like he was going to cry with the relief.

  ‘I’m afraid that I can’t allow that.’ Roger replied coolly, holding his hand up to stop them both. ‘We haven’t charged Mr Wickham yet, but nor have we finished our questioning either. The district court has very kindly extended our period for questioning your client for up to 7 days. So you won’t be leaving us anytime soon, Mr Wickham.’

  ‘That’s preposterous!’ Mal shouted at them. ‘They can’t do this can they?’ he said to his lawyer.

  ‘I’m afraid they can Mal.’ Elaine said to her client. ‘But don’t worry; we’ll soon put an end to this ridiculous persecution.’

  ‘Not enjoying our hospitality?’ Johnny said to Mal. ‘Food not up to scratch?’

  ‘Right.’ Roger said. ‘Since we last spoke have you by any chance had divine inspiration as to where you were on the night Rachel Finch was murdered, between leaving her at 5pm and arriving home at 3am.’

  ‘No, I’m afraid I can’t remember where I was. I was just driving.’ He answered defiantly.

  ‘And have you remembered where you might have picked up that firewood?’ Roger continued.

  ‘I have a habit of picking up wood if I see it on the side of the road. I’m always doing it. I can only think that I saw a fallen tree somewhere and I just picked it up and put it in the boot.’ He said to him.

  ‘That the best you can come up with?’ Johnny asked incredulously. ‘All that time to think and that’s it?’

  ‘Detective Murphy, there’s no need for that.’ Elaine rebuked him. She turned then to Roger and continued. ‘As I said earlier, you have obviously not got one single whit of evidence. My client has admitted to having an affair with Rachel Finch and nothing further. Unless you have a new line of questioning I once again request that we terminate this interview immediately. My client has had to deal with a conspiracy of lies thrown at him; you have nothing but circumstantial evidence. And exactly what is my client’s motive to kill supposed to be?’ she finished dramatically. ‘No murder weapon, no evidence, no motive equals no case Detective McElvoy!’

  The smug smile had appeared on Mal’s face again. Roger was looking forward to wiping it right off.

  Roger picked up his folder and opened it. ‘Well that’s where you are wrong, Ms Rochford. We have every reason to believe that your client had a very strong motive to kill Rachel Finch, we were just coming to that.’

  Earlier that day, they had finally had a break in the case. Interviews with friends of Rachel’s finally had paid dividends and they now had a written statement from a friend, who had been in regular email contact with Rachel. She had spoken about her relationship with Mal and the email spun quite a tale.

  ‘Listen Mal.’ Roger said, leaning in close to him. ‘This is your best chance to tell us exactly what happened that night. We know that you and Rachel were having an affair and we know that you were with her the night she was murdered. It will look better for you if you just admit that you murdered her upfront. Get it off your chest, you’ll feel much better for it. I’m thinking of you, mate.’ He finished with a smile.

  Mal looked disconcerted. He turned to look at his defence lawyer. Elaine simply shook her head. ‘Do not admit to anything.’ She stated.

  ‘I didn’t murder her. I cared deeply for her.’ he continued. ‘I was devastated when she died.’

  ‘Yeah, right.’ Johnny said sarcastically.

  ‘Did you ever argue?’ Roger said, quickly changing tactic.

  ‘No, we never argued.’ Mal replied.

  ‘Not once in your entire relationship?’ Johnny remarked. ‘Extraordinary.’

  ‘We never had reason to argue. We got on very well together in fact.’ Mal replied.

  ‘So even when Rachel begged you to leave Marie, you never argued? Roger asked.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about!’ Mal shouted back.

  ‘And when you said you’d never tell Marie about the affair are you telling me that Rachel just smiled? From what I’ve learned about Rachel’s character during this investigation, I’d say she wouldn’t take that too kindly!’ Roger said to him.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. We never discussed me leaving Marie – it was never on the agenda ever.’

  ‘Because you don’t believe in divorce, do you?’ Roger shouted. ‘You said as much already to us in our first interview!’

  ‘No, I don’t believe in divorce, big deal. Half the country agrees with me on that one,’ he shouted back.

  ‘What are your thoughts on children?’

  Mal was taken aback by the new line of questioning.

  Roger continued. ‘How did you feel when Rachel told you she was pregnant with your baby?’
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br />   Before he had a chance to respond, he shouted, ‘Because I reckon when Rachel told you that you were about to become a Daddy forcing your hand to leave Marie, you panicked. Did you tell her to have an abortion and she said no? Did you lose that temper of yours that we all know you have and follow her to the beach to get rid of all your problems!’

  Mal looked terrified. ‘No, that’s preposterous!’ he screamed in a high pitch voice.

  ‘Really!’ Roger shouted, throwing the emails he had in his file down on the table between them. ‘Luckily for us, Rachel and her best friend were a right pair of chatterboxes. Sending each other emails on a daily basis!’

  Mal went white. Elaine intervened, ‘You don’t need to say anything further.’

  ‘It’s all here in black and white. You and Rachel were in love. Or at least she was in love with you. I’m not sure that murdering someone constitutes love really! She demanded you leave Marie. You were furious with her for suggesting it. There was no way you were going to allow Marie divorce you and take half your precious farm! But Rachel wasn’t the type of girl to take no for an answer. So she told you she was pregnant. What really happened that night on the beach Mal? Did you plan to murder her or did she provoke you and you lost control? That’s the piece of the puzzle I’m trying to work out!’

  Mal looked like he was about to start crying.

  ‘Stop these lies once and for all.’ Roger urged him. ‘We already know you have a violent temper. Your wife bears the bruises to prove that! Did you decide to shut Rachel up once and for all?’

  ‘My client has nothing further to state.’ Elaine said. ‘Either charge him or let him go.’

  ‘Interview suspended 11.14 am.’ Roger said, pressing stop on the recorder. ‘We’ll be back.’

  Chapter Thirty Three

  Ruby had finally arrived at the hospital. The roads were not too bad as it happened and they made good time, despite two toilet breaks for the kids. They were all waiting to greet them in reception.

  Sarah opened her arms wide and gathered all three into her for a group hug.

  ‘How’s Daddy?’ Katie asked. ‘Is he awake now?’

  ‘No darling, he’s still sleeping.’ Sarah replied.

  ‘Michelle is with him now.’ Sarah whispered to Ruby, who was now holding hands with James. She’d not met her yet herself, she’d arrived while Sarah was with Tommy.

  ‘Who’s Michelle?’ Tommy asked, not missing a trick.

  Damn it, Sarah thought. She’d not even had time to think about how she would play that one.

  ‘Michelle is Daddy’s friend.’ Sarah replied.

  ‘He never told me about her before.’ Katie said in wonder.

  ‘She’s a new friend. They work together in his job in England.’ Sarah responded.

  ‘Oh.’ Katie replied. Having thought about it she said, ‘I’m glad he has a new friend. He said that he missed us all over in London.’

  ‘I’m glad too.’ Sarah replied.

  ‘Any further news from the consultants?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘No, we’re still waiting to hear from them. Shall we get a cup of tea?’ Rita asked.

  Sarah smiled at this. The world would be coming to an end and the Irish would be all making pots of tea.

  ‘The nurses have our mobile number, they said they’d call if …’ Joey said.

  ‘I could do with food.’ James said. ‘Let’s all go to the canteen, grab something and we can make our plans then.’

  ‘I want to see Daddy.’ Katie said to her Mammy.

  Tommy was conspicuously quiet.

  ‘I tell you what; let’s go get a cold drink and something to eat first. Let’s give Daddy’s friend Michelle some time to talk to him before we go in.’ Ruby coaxed.

  ‘Ok.’ Katie said appeased by the thought of a drink and maybe even a treat.

  ‘Come on love.’ Joey said to Rita. ‘Let’s grab your grandchildren and buy them a few sweets.’

  Sarah took Ella to the changing room to get her sorted and then followed them down to the café.

  ‘I think I should go up on my own for a bit. I’d like to meet Michelle and have a quick chat with her, before I bring the kids up.’ She told the others.

  ‘You go on up ahead of us and we’ll follow you in twenty minutes or so. But don’t take any S.H.I.T. from her ladyship.’ Ruby stated firmly.

  Michelle looked terrible. She was very pale.

  ‘Hello.’ Sarah said, trying her best to smile.

  ‘Oh it’s you.’ Michelle said ungraciously. ‘I hoped it was the doctor.’

  Sarah walked over to Paul. He looked much the same as he had the night before. She wanted to put her arms around him and hold him and tell him that he would be ok but she was acutely aware of Michelle’s presence, eyes boring holes into her back. Instead she just held his hand for a second, hoping that Michelle didn’t notice it.

  The irony that she, Paul’s wife was trying to hide holding his hand, in front of the mistress wasn’t lost on her. But she wasn’t his wife any more, nor Michelle his mistress. Damn it, she had better get used to this new upside down world quick.

  ‘How are you?’ Sarah asked.

  ‘How do you think?’ Michelle spat back. ‘The man I love, the father of my unborn child is lying comatose, how do you think I feel?’

  Sarah was once again astounded at the selfishness of this woman.

  ‘I’m sure you are terribly upset as we all are. The children are here, they’ll be up shortly and I’d like them to spend some time alone with Paul.’ Sarah asked.

  ‘I have every right to be here. I am his partner!’ Michelle said her voice rising.

  ‘I’m acutely aware of that.’ Sarah replied mildly. ‘I’m not trying to make you leave. Paul would want you here, so you should stay. But I’m just asking you to give the children some time with their Daddy. They are very scared right now.’

  ‘I suppose I could do with a cup of tea and something to eat.’ She said sniffing.

  ‘Michelle, the children don’t know that you and their Daddy were together. I’ve told them that you are Paul’s friend, but that’s it. Please don’t say anything about being pregnant to them just yet. It would just be too confusing.’

  ‘My baby is going to be their brother or sister! You can’t keep this from them forever you know.’

  Sarah took a deep breath. She was finding it very hard to remain civil with her. But this was neither the time nor the place.

  ‘Can we just deal with one crisis at a time? They are too young to have to understand their Daddy being so sick, never mind the fact that he was having another child with somebody other than their mother. I’ll tell them about you and the baby when the time is right, I promise you.’

  ‘Ok.’ Michelle said sulkily. ‘I’ll be back in 30 minutes. Have your precious alone time.’

  ‘Out of interest, are you like this all the time?’ Sarah asked her suddenly, genuinely curious.

  ‘Like what?’ Michelle said.

  ‘Every time I’ve spoken to you, you’ve been deliberately rude and quite vile. I’m just wondering if this is your normal manner or do you save up all your nasty just for me?’

  Michelle, for once looked completely gobsmacked by Sarah’s question. She didn’t have an answer for it so she picked up her handbag and gave Paul a lingering kiss on his lips before walking out. Sarah shook her head at how childish Michelle was.

  ‘Hello.’ She said turning back to Paul. ‘What on earth did you see in that one? She’s a weapon. You can do a lot better my love.’ She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

  She stroked his hair, moving his fringe to one side.

  ‘I have a surprise for you. The children are having a treat with your Mam, but they’ll be here any minute. They can’t wait to see you. Katie thinks that she’ll be able to wake you up by shaking you. So I’m warning you to be ready! For such a little girl, she’s quite strong.’

  Sarah half expected him to open his eyes and wink, telling her all would be fine.
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br />   But he didn’t move a muscle, he simply remained motionless.

  ‘Your mam is so worried about you. You’ve got to get better for her sake. She needs you. And so do I. I need you to help bring up our children. Tommy feels he is to blame for the accident. He was so happy these past couple of days having you home with him. So don’t you be getting comfortable there lying in this bed. I know it’s lovely to have a rest, but it’s time you woke up now,’ she said, tears now pouring down her face. ‘You always said that it was impossible to sleep each night because I was always chattering away in your ear. Well, I’m going to keep chattering to you until you wake up and tell me to shut up!’

  Then the strangest sensation overcame her. As the tears flowed she felt that washed away amongst them was all the anger and bitterness she’d carried inside for months. At some point during the night, between when she had sat with Paul and now, something shifted. All that was left now was compassion and love for this man she’d married and had three children with. She knew he didn’t love her any more and that was fine. She also realised with wonder, that she wasn’t in love with him anymore either. That was fine too, because she knew she would always care for him. They had a shared past and children that would link them forever. That was enough.

  ‘So this is what acceptance feels like,’ she whispered to him. ‘But I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet. Do you hear me Paul?’ she said, kissing him on his forehead again.

  A knock on the door made her jump. Rita and the children walked in, followed by James, Ruby and Joey.

  Tommy and Katie looked worried when they saw that Sarah was crying.

  ‘Mammy?’ Katie asked.

  ‘Don’t be scared darlings,’ she said to them both. ‘I’m just having a little cry that’s all. Come over and say hello.’

  ‘Is he awake?’ Katie whispered.

  ‘No darling.’ Sarah replied.

  ‘I’m scared, Mammy.’ Katie said, moving closer to the door.

  Sarah walked over to her and held a hand out to each of her children. ‘There’s nothing to be scared of. That’s your Daddy and that’s all you need to know. Ignore all the wires that are attached to him, they are just to help him breathe. He might be asleep, but I bet anything that he can hear every word we say.’