Charged - Book One

by L. M. Moore

  “Well, good thing you took your time easing into the situation.”

  “He attacked me, Aaron!”

  He took a deep breath. As the others waited patiently outside the door, wondering what would happen next, I felt all of their confusion. Why was Danel so angry with me? Why would he attack me? Why had I changed when so many others had died? I tried to stay with Aaron in the moment, but their emotions were overwhelming.

  “Lewis, they have lost half their people on this ship, including two elders. They may be a little out of sorts right now and you’re not making it any easier.”

  “One of those creatures almost killed me. If only you knew what I knew. They didn’t come here to take their ship. That was a lie. They came here for revenge and the elders know why.”

  Aaron looked shocked and frustrated. Suddenly, I felt foolish. I was acting like this was all about me. I didn’t even ask about Jessica. Quickly, I changed gears.

  “How is Jessica?”

  His expression changed and softened a little.

  “She’s okay. But she lost two sisters, three brothers, her father. Lew, there’s only two elders left on this station. The others outside your door are from Station Ten. The only elders left from this ship are Danel and a female named Alma, who is dying.”

  This struck me in a place so deep I almost fell over. Alma, my lifemate, my wife, the mother of my children. Ben was now present in a way I’d never felt him before. I grabbed the chair and almost collapsed into it.

  “Where is she?”

  CHAPTER 43

  THE AGONY WAS UNBEARABLE. My heart was broken in a way I’d never felt before for a female who I’d never known. But in my mind I knew her better than anyone else in my life. All of Ben’s memories were rushing over me. Even though he hadn’t controlled my body so far, he was wreaking havoc on my emotions.

  The others surrounding the door had backed up a few paces, as if I’d dragged them straight into my heart to feel all of my pain. Two actually left the hallway, walking swiftly in any direction away from me and my feelings. Kye was reaching out to me; I caused her alarm with my pain and she was drawing closer and closer to me in a rushed, panicked manner.

  “Lew, you okay?” Aaron now looked alarmed and sat next to me as I put my face in my hands and tried to ignore Ben’s grief. I was unsuccessful again and tears began welling up in my eyes. I needed to get mad, I thought, to make this go away. I was unable to decipher which emotions were mine. I tried to sift through them and separate them, but nothing helped; the agony felt exactly like when I found Mother. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest and they weren’t even my memories. The grief was agonizing and I couldn’t move.

  Then a violent pain shot across my forehead and focused behind my eyes, like my own brain was stabbing them from within. I stopped fighting the emotions, but it didn’t make the pain go away. I grabbed my head, grunting in pain and I could hear Aaron asking me what was wrong, but I couldn’t respond. All the muscles in my body contracted with pain, making it impossible to breathe anything but short, rapid breaths and I felt my body hunch over and fall to the ground.

  Ben’s memories pushed forward and I could remember the agreement that he had made with Danel. Danel would absorb Ben’s essence if anything happened to him, or Ben would absorb Danel. It was the only way because Alma was sick, too sick to survive a merge. And I robbed Danel of this, of his duty.

  Suddenly, something brushed up against my emotions aggressively, which shocked my whole body. It was Kye. The soft humming that was there last night was now like some invisible force lifting me off the ground and then dropping me. Then the pain stopped, but I could feel it starting to creep slowly back in. I tried to slow my breathing and curled into a ball on the floor, preparing for the next wave of pain that was growing more intense in my head.

  Kye rushed up to me and put her hands on my temples and shushed me to be quiet. Slowly, a low orange glow radiated from her hands. I couldn’t see anything but the orange light inside of my head. When the knife-like pain finally dissipated, the glow left and Kye was staring me in the face.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I think so.” My vision started clearing and I sat up gradually.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. There was this pain in my head, like both my eyes had been torn out. I was trying to control what I was feeling. I mean, what Ben was feeling.”

  “You’re fighting it too much. Separation from elders’ emotions can’t be fast.”

  “I thought I was the only one who survived?”

  “You are… the only human, yes.”

  “Then how do you know this?”

  “It’s what happens every time they made a companion for the elders. I have felt exactly what you’re feeling.”

  “I thought they couldn’t merge unless they were dying.”

  “It’s different. With a companion, they merge with us mentally. It feels as if your mind is going to explode.”

  “Then why do it, if they’re not dying?” I was totally confused now.

  “So we love them. So we don’t reject them. So we are loyal.”

  This was not the response I was expecting and I grew mad at Danel again.

  “This was a long time ago, Lewis. Things have changed now and in the end, it was to their own demise. It cost them a lot more than you know. And maybe they can force our love for them, but they can’t control our love for others.”

  I searched Ben’s memories. There were genetic experiments and large numbers of females dying that were somehow connected to their hybrids. Something had gone wrong, but I pushed them out of my mind quickly. I didn’t want the pain to return.

  “Let’s go see Collin. He can give you something that will control the pain if it happens again.”

  I got up and gave Aaron my normal nod that everything was fine, but then I was stuck in the moment of what had just happened. She had done the same thing to Aaron in the control room when he was attack by the one of creatures.

  “Wait.” I said, grabbing her hands and looking into them for a moment.

  “What was that? That thing you did to my head.”

  “I stopped some of your synapses from firing in your brain. Thus, no pain.”

  “Really?”

  “I’m better with humans than my own kind and your brain is all human, still.” She stopped for a moment and was distracted by the busted table in the center of the room. “I knew you and Danel were going to argue, but this is ridiculous. You know I could feel you both the whole time. I think you really hurt him.”

  I didn’t know how to answer her. Clearly, we were acting like children. I wanted to defend myself, but I didn’t. I followed her out the door, toward the lab.

  “That synapse-halting thing you do. Why didn’t you do that with my knee when we first got here?”

  “If you don’t recall, that first twenty-four hours were already pretty intense. I don’t think you would’ve let me,” she said, smiling a little.

  She was right. At that time, I wouldn’t have.

  “And when I was absorbing Ben?”

  “You don’t remember?”

  She paused for a second, looking me in the eyes,

  “I came in every hour to stop them from firing.” She then made a sad smile, as if she’d hoped I remembered, but I didn’t. I tried to recall the same orange light, but nothing manifested. I had no memories of my change except for pain. I wanted to pull her to me, hold her, show her my gratitude… but I didn’t.

  “It seemed to help. Just ask Aaron.”

  She turned to leave and I quickly grabbed her hand.

  “Thank you.”

  CHAPTER 44

  WE HEADED TOWARDS Med Lab 12 on the other side of the station and I was wondering why we weren’t headed to Med Lab 4; the lab I’d changed in. I could only assume that Collin was working on analyzing my chromosomes somewhere else on the ship. We headed down a long corridor and turned left and then another and anothe
r. We passed so many others, human coverts and Tanjennians, that I was starting to feel like I was in a mall and I was surprised at how many humans there were.

  “I take it no one topside is aware of us yet?” I was concerned, especially with all the gunfire when Station Ten arrived.

  “There are a few rumors floating around, but nothing concrete. No photos surfaced on the Web. Station Ten sent mostly humans, ex-military coverts we recruited. The others didn’t arrive until a few days later and we had to bring them in after dark. We got lucky, really. Station Ten informed all the coverts that there was to be no firing topside unless it was absolutely necessary, so not much was heard up there,” she said.

  “Kye, I’m really sorry I couldn’t save them.”

  She stopped in the middle of the corridor and others had to move around us. She almost seemed angry, but I could sense it wasn’t at me.

  “Danel’s plan was a bad one. There should’ve been at least one armed person in the main hall. I wished I hadn’t listened to him. But it had nothing to do with you. I’m still shocked at how you ran to help my people. You have ten times the courage that he has. I remember that you told him it was a bad idea, but he didn’t listen and we lost a lot of precious lives because of it. My only regret is that I let you go alone, that I never warned you what happened when they died.”

  The sadness in her voice pulled at me and I grabbed her tiny hand and caressed it for a second. She wasn’t going to let me blame myself, like I did with so many other things. I guess I was transparent to her and for some reason it was reassuring.

  She started walking again, leading me through another long corridor and eventually stopped in front of two large metal doors.

  “This is where Collin is studying the remains of the creatures, so don’t be alarmed; they’re all dead.”

  Before I could even protest about being next to those things, dead or alive, she punched in the code and the giant doors slid back, revealing a brightly lit room. There were a number of humans and other Tanjennians, all in white lab coats, working in the large medical lab. All the creatures were laid out on large stainless steel examining tables, lined up in a row down the center of the room. My heart raced and I didn’t want to enter the room, but they were smaller now, somehow less terrifying. I would’ve been mortified if they had actually captured one and kept it alive.

  Kye walked in and reluctantly I followed her to the back of the room where Collin was. She was explaining the pain I’d felt and my eyes locked on the creatures on the tables. I looked to see if any were moving, even the slightest twitch, but they weren’t. Some of them were literally blown into pieces. Not one of them had a complete skull and most were also missing a claw or an arm. I thought of the one that dropped down in front of me in the control room. I remembered how his body opened at the center and the black giant tar-like tongue that darted out and grabbed me. I grimaced and shuddered at the same time.

  Collin handed Kye a bottle of glowing green liquid for my pain and sent us on our way. I shook Collin’s hand, said thank you and followed Kye out the door back into the corridor.

  “You’re studying the creatures?” I said.

  “Yes. We know nothing about them.”

  “How do we know that was the last of them? That there aren’t more coming on another ship?”

  She walked a little quicker.

  “We don’t.”

  CHAPTER 45

  AFTER I DRANK the very strong painkiller Collin had given me, I woke up the next day, thinking about all that had transpired.

  Something just wasn’t right. There were too many lies from Danel, too many looks of despair in Kye’s eyes. Why didn’t they just ask Danel about the creatures? He was held captive by them along with Ben and Alma. More secrets. Alarming scenarios started to breed in the back of my mind.

  I got up and left the room. As I passed the others in the corridors, I sensed small parts of them. One seemed to shield himself from me, as if he was afraid. Another seemed concerned about me and met my gaze with compassion as I passed. His face was sad; for me, I think. He was Boyd. I didn’t know him well, but I knew he was Ben’s son. I searched my mind for information about Boyd. But I wasn’t sure what triggered the pain I felt yesterday and I didn’t want to relive it, so I tried just skimming the surface of Ben’s memories. Boyd was different from the rest. His compassion for others overwhelmed some of them. He was nothing like Aric, whose self-control was unsurpassed even by Ben himself.

  I passed many and the urgency in my walk seemed to alarm all of them. There seemed to be more of them; a lot more. I recalled what Ben said the first time we met. “This ship is taboo, kid.” I guess all that changed when I survived. But I could tell I wasn’t what they were expecting. There were plenty of faces I didn’t recognize. I knew they were from Station Ten. They saved us and from what I could draw from them, they stayed behind to meet me. I caught a few of them looking at my hands, which hadn’t changed. There was one who seemed fixed on my hair, something that none of them had. I tried to slow my pace and guard my emotions and Ben’s emotions. Not one of them approached me and I didn’t think I was going to be approachable until I settled things with Danel.

  Twenty minutes went by as I searched lab after lab. I didn’t even know what I was looking for until I heard a soft whisper in corridor G, which was supposed to be off-limits due to needed repairs. It was dark and empty and I tried to calm myself and lightly search out where the whisper came from. I focused, little by little and it reached out to me again, a light whisper at the end of the hall. It was Kye, but she wasn’t talking to me. I don’t think she knew I was here. Her voiced lulled me back into an utterly relaxed state.

  Being as quiet as I could, I followed the almost-inaudible whispers into a dark medical lab. Staring deep into the room, I noticed the silhouettes of two figures behind a dimly-lit frosted glass wall in the back of the room. I focused again and could hear Kye’s whispers clearly now. My calmness left me and I grew irritated by the thought that she might be back here with Danel in some secretive discussion.

  “Just a few more moments,” she said.

  Then there was a gasp that was definitely pain-filled. That was all I needed. Five more quick steps and I was staring at Kye’s back. She heard me half a second later and turned around so quickly I thought she would fall over. She steadied herself and there was actually relief in her face when she saw me.

  She stepped aside to let me see who she was talking to: it was Collin. He was noticeably in pain, lying back on a large examining table. He was gasping over and over again. His shirt was off and was draped over the end of the table. There were large black marks covering his chest that looked like bruises. Slowly, they started to fade and he said nothing, staring at me.

  I wanted to know what was going on, but no one said anything. I pushed my emotions out to brush up against Collin, but I didn’t feel anything but pain, intense pain, so I withdrew. Ben’s compassion filled me at the sight of Collin. Quickly, I suppressed it and looked at Kye. I wanted to ask Collin if he was okay, but I knew he couldn’t speak. It seemed to take all his energy to block out the others, excluding me and Kye and just breathe. His breaths were shallow and focused. The purple gills running vertically from neck to stomach seemed to quiver slightly as he inhaled.

  Kye leaned over him and turned on an IV drip filled with a pink fluid that was going into his hand. Then, he was out. The creases in his face relaxed and the purple marks on his chest completely faded. Kye seemed disappointed looking at him, shaking her head slightly.

  “Is he sick? Why are you in this corridor?” I whispered to her, but she didn’t respond. She seemed stuck in the moment, looking at Collin intensely. So I got impatient and said something stupid.

  “Are you trying to breed with him?”

  Her expression clearly said no and I no longer felt threatened, just stupid. I tried to quickly correct myself.

  “What I mean is… that I can’t stop thinking about you and worrying about the thin
gs you don’t say.”

  This was honest, but not planned. It was a surefire way to push her away if she still didn’t want to tell me everything. I thought about all the conversations we had and none of them seemed to reveal what was really bothering her or what caused the sadness that seemed to envelop her. All I had was the vague understanding that she was somehow bound to Danel. I guess I believed it would fade now that I was more like her, more like her people and that I wouldn’t ever be leaving.

  “I can’t breed, remember.” Her face was emotionless as the words left her lips, answering my original question. “But if I could, it wouldn’t be with Collin; he’s like a brother.” Her expression softened a little; as she sighed deeply, the blue and purple veins under her translucent skin moved inward, fading slightly. I could sense her grief. I slowly clasped her soft small hands into mine. She squeezed my hands and looked into my eyes, as if she desperately wanted to say something, something dreadful.

  “What are you doing here with Collin?” My voice was full of compassion and love. Time seemed to crawl in that moment of silence as she contemplated what to say.

  “I’m just trying to free myself, that’s all,” she said, tightening her squeeze on my hands.

  “From me?”

  “No… to you.” This confirmation of her feelings verbally did alleviate some of my doubts, but just augmented my own confusion of her connection with Danel.

  “I don’t understand.” I pulled her closer and she melted against my chest and buried her face into it. She was already with me. And I was happy, but the statement itself just furthermore affirmed she was not wholly mine.

  “It’s Danel. He won’t let you go, will he?”

  She looked up and her eyes betrayed her. Her face was completely changed and I was getting mad.

  “It’s not like that. It’s complicated.”

  “Do you love him?” I knew she felt something for him; I could sense it in her and I almost regretted asking.