The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1)

by Yazz Ustaris

  Just then, I heard something that brought me to an abrupt standstill. In the background, I had heard Amos asking Gideon what he wanted to eat for dinner and there was no hesitation on Gideon’s part when he answered, “Pad Thai.” I pivoted on my heel as I let go of Jamie and Sergeant Kami. Confronting them from over 50 yards away, I retorted, “Hey! That’s not your favorite food. You love to eat bacon double cheeseburgers and fries – I remember!”

  Breaking eye contact with me, Gideon turned back to Amos and insisted, “I won the race and I want you to make Pad Thai.” As I stared back at him in disbelief, I clearly saw Sergeant Ramsey turn to Doc Duffy and snort, “Well, if that aint love I dunno what is.” At that moment, Gideon’s cheeks flushed a bright red and it made me wonder if there was some validity to the sergeant’s words.

  Flustered and confused, I mumbled again to myself under my breath, “Oh Dear God, help me! What’s going on?!”

  Both Nurse Jamie and Sergeant Kami didn’t bother censoring their amusement this time as they both hooted with laughter.

  16

  Once we entered the Gym and I was certain the guys were all too far away to hear, I spoke quickly and urgently. “I just wondered… the smaller barracks had a swimming pool and it was a great place for me to float and think in peace and quiet. Do we have a pool here? And can I take some of the other girls swimming with me later on before we retire for bed? I need some “Girl Time”, which loosely translates to “No Boys Allowed”.

  They glanced at each other briefly before Sergeant Kami asked, “Would you be opposed to us joining you? That way Jamie and I can enforce the “No Boys Allowed” rule. Besides, I don’t know about Jamie but I could definitely go for a nighttime swim. It’s a good way to relax and unwind at the end of the day, and it would be nice to do some female bonding.”

  “Yes, I think that’s an excellent idea!” Jamie added. “You’ve done an amazing job with Marisol and I’ve already noticed a difference in her in the short time you’ve been working with her. It’ll be good for Marisol to have some Girl Time too. I’ll swing by your room to pick you and Kyrie up around 8pm, okay?”

  I smiled gratefully at them just as the outer door opened and Sergeant Ramsey re-entered with the guys. To my relief, Wyatt and Angelo were absent and I slowly exhaled a long drawn out breath as my anxiety level dropped significantly. I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was about Wyatt that unnerved me. It’s possible I was intimidated by his extreme hotness, although I had been around really hot guys before in the past and never reacted the way I did when I was around him. My palms got all sweaty and I couldn’t help feeling breathless and lightheaded around him.

  Absently, I chewed on my lower lip while I silently pondered the enigma that was Wyatt. Everything about him just seemed so…intense. Almost too intense. Undeniably, he was one hunky specimen of a man but my internal voice of reason pointed out that it would be a mistake to judge a book by its cover. Nope…. I needed to discover what other qualities he possessed to determine whether or not he was even worthy of dating. Being nothing but eye-candy wasn’t enough to engage my interest in any type of relationship. A girl’s gotta have standards! I remembered Sergeant Ramsey saying that the others didn’t know about Sergeant Quartermaine’s unit yet, so I pondered how I could possibly get Harper and Allegra’s opinion on the situation if Wyatt was supposed to be a secret. I made a mental note to ask Jamie if we could let the cat out of the bag with the “secret unit”. Guiltily, I came crashing back to the present when I realized that Gideon had stopped in front of me and was snapping his fingers in front of my face in an effort to get my attention.

  “Hell-oooo! Earth to Teagan!” He crossed his arms and I saw that there was a slightly accusatory look in his eyes as he frowned at me.

  “Sorry!! Did you say something?” Sam was standing behind Gideon off to the side, and he was openly smirking at me. I did a double-take and raised an eyebrow at him as I made a mental note to have a private chat with him later. I felt slightly mollified when I saw Sam’s smile slip.

  “I was asking how you knew those two guys outside!” There was a determined gleam in Gideon’s eyes as he grilled me for answers, and I was stunned when I realized he was jealous again. What was more surprising to me was that he was openly displaying his jealousy to those around us. I flicked a nervous look in Sergeant Ramsey’s direction before clearing my throat and answering.

  “Umm…I ran into them while they were playing ping pong in the Mess Hall after I left your room last night. All of the military staff was there too.”

  “Yep, we sure were son.” Sergeant Ramsey butted into our conversation. “It was all a very innocent chance meeting. No need for you to go defendin’ Teagan’s honor or any such nonsense.” He grinned at us all as if he was enjoying this little confrontation.

  Gideon’s face flushed a dull red as he realized how he must’ve sounded to all of us. Defensively, he said, “It’s just that I didn’t like the way he was looking at her.” Turning back to face me, he went on to say, “It’s like he was undressing you with his eyes or something. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect you from some big lecherous pervert if his attention is unwanted.” At that, he paused and quirked his eyebrows at me as if waiting to see if I’d refute his claim or admit that I actually welcomed Wyatt’s attentions. At a loss, I floundered for something to say but my mind kept drawing a blank.

  Sam took that opportunity to add his two cents to the conversation, although he didn’t really help the situation. In my opinion, I think he made it worse by getting Gideon worked up even more. “That guy was looking at you like you were a big juicy steak and he was starving for a taste or something!”

  “Whoa!! Not helping Sam!” I shook my head at him in exasperation. He just shrugged and lamely finished by adding, “Well it’s true. I saw the way he was looking at you too.” I was discomfited to realize that Sam was right though. He had hit the nail right on the head with his observation. That’s exactly how Wyatt looked at me. With hunger in his eyes. Since he was technically still a stranger, he had no right to look at me that way.

  I ignored Jamie and Sergeant Kami’s twittering laughter in the background as I looked Gideon squarely in the eye and tried to find the words to let him down gently. “Thank you so much for being concerned and overprotective of me Gideon. As much as I appreciate it, just remember that I’m an adult and I can handle guys like that on my own. Remember…I have a black belt in martial arts. But I promise that if a situation does comes up where I do need help, know that I’ll come running to you and Sam in a heartbeat. After all, we’re a team remember?”

  What I said seemed to pacify Gideon since he visually relaxed and cast one of his boyish grins at me. I exhaled on a relieved sigh, but in the back of my mind I knew that I needed to do something about the little crush he had on me. It seemed as if his infatuation with me was growing into a bigger problem, and I wasn’t sure how I truly felt about it or if I needed to nip it in the bud once and for all. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to swim later….so I could float and just think about “things”.

  Thankfully, the rest of the afternoon sped by in a blur. We practiced our eye-hand coordination by doing flips and somersaults on the A-Beams, and after a couple of hours both Sam and Gideon got the hang of it and really started having fun with the exercises. I loved the A-Beams because it was an exhilarating experience flying through the air. There had only been a few nasty tumbles when one of them had missed the bars completely and went crashing down onto the padded floor mats. The first time it happened, I showed them how to twist their bodies in mid-air in order to attempt to land on their feet rather than sprawled out on their backs or side. Landing on their feet reduced the risk of injury to their bodies.

  After lunch I met with Marisol, Kyrie, Harper and Allegra. At my urging, Harper and Allegra begrudgingly approached Zima to invite her to come work out with us, but to my dismay Zima just glared back at us all in reply. I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry fo
r Zima since her one and only friend Ruby had been separated from her. But there was so much hate in the glare that she directed at us that truthfully, I was relieved she declined our invite.

  So with that, the five of us went back to the Gym and started another round of cardio followed by weight training. We finished the session by doing aerobic dance exercises to a few different songs before we broke apart and showered for dinner. To my relief, everybody was on board and even excited for our little pool party that was going to take place later on. I just had to remind them to keep it a secret from the guys since it seemed like both Allegra and Harper were a little on the boy-crazy side.

  Dinner that night turned out to be an exciting event when we finally entered the Mess Hall. To my surprise and confusion, the buffet table had been divided into three sections; one section held several lasagnas, one section held a large mound of Pad Thai, and the last section was set up as a burger station with all sorts of toppings available. When I approached Amos, he simply shrugged and replied, “After discussing it with Sergeant Ramsey he decided that the race was so close it nearly ended in a three way tie. He decided to reward all three of you, but I made a single serving of Gideon’s favorite dessert as his true reward. He gets a blonde brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream and fudge sauce. Bon appetite!”

  My mouth began to water as I made a beeline for the Pad Thai station, but I stopped mid-stride when I realized Mercer was still trotting along beside me. Instead, I changed direction and headed for his cupboard where his dog food was stored. Once Mercer was happily munching away on his kibble, I quickly washed my hands and headed back towards the Pad Thai station. As I was loading up my plate, I saw Cassidy standing across from me on the other side of the buffet. He was just standing there staring at all the food. Noticing my attention was on him, he ruefully explained, “All three look really good. I can’t decide.”

  Shrugging, I said, “So get a little bit of everything. Don’t worry…you’ll burn off all the calories in tomorrow’s workout anyways, right? Besides…who knows when we’ll be able to indulge in these delicious foods again?”

  Apparently my words were all the encouragement he needed as he grinned and started loading up on food from all three stations. A few others followed suit and piled their plates high with different foods also. I chuckled as I carried my Pad Thai to my usual table where Sam and Gideon waited. Shortly after, Marisol and Kyrie took seats on either side of me. Briefly, I closed my eyes and inhaled the wonderful aroma of my noodles before picking up my fork and taking my first bite. I moaned in heartfelt appreciation as I savored the familiar taste of the spicy and tangy flavors. Amos’ version was just as delicious as I remembered from my favorite Thai restaurant in Seattle.

  To my amazement, I suddenly felt myself tearing up as I chewed a particularly large mouthful of noodles. It seemed like such a silly thing… but sitting there eating Pad Thai – it transported me back to happier times with my family. I suppose it would make sense that it would be impossible for me to ever eat this dish again without missing my family. Rapidly, I blinked my eyes to clear the moisture away just as Amos took a seat and joined us at our table with his own plate.

  Sam and Gideon had already noticed the expression on my face but were both too busy trying to chew and swallow their current mouthful in order to speak. I blinked again as I swallowed my mouthful of food, but a couple of tears still managed to escape. Amos finally glanced up and saw my face. Alarmed he asked, “Teagan! What’s wrong?”

  Marisol and Kyrie both dropped their forks and instantly turned to look at me. Sniffling, I tried to explain even though I knew it had to have sounded incredibly lame. “Well, I’m crying because…this Pad Thai….it’s just so delicious! I feel both happy and lucky to be eating it again. This dish just reminds me of my family that’s all. These are happy tears….please just ignore me.” Thankfully, Amos and the guys seemed to understand as they all nodded their heads and smiled at me tenderly.

  From behind, Mercer wiggled his way in between me and Kyrie in order to plop his head on my lap, whimpering as he nudged me with his head. Scratching him behind the ears I whispered, “I’m fine Mercer. Just emotional. Don’t worry about me okay? Everything’s fine.” He leaned his head up and licked me twice on the cheek before falling back to curl up on the floor behind me.

  Dubiously, Marisol caught my eye and asked, “Are you sure you’re okay Teagan?”

  “Yep.” I replied. “I’m just really enjoying my dinner. Amos is an awesome cook don’t you think?” I winked at Marisol, and just like that the good mood was restored amongst our table. The rest of dinner passed by uneventfully although I did have a second helping of noodles. Mmmm….so good!

  Back in our room, Kyrie and I were both rummaging in our closets in search of bathing suits. Personally, I only owned two suits and hoped that they had both been included with all of the other clothes that had been safely delivered back into my possession. If I didn’t find them, it wouldn’t be a huge deal because I still had the generic purple one piece suit that had been issued by the military.

  “I found mine!! Yay!” My head jerked up at the announcement as I exited my closet to see Kyrie twirling her swimsuit above her head as she danced happily in place. It was a cute two-piece suit with a halter-style top in a striped print of blues, purples, and pinks. It was just as darling as the grin that was currently gracing her face, and I couldn’t help the laughter that escaped as I watched her dance her way to the bathroom to change.

  My eyes fell on the large dresser along my wall and figured that they had to be there. It had six drawers and so far I had only opened three of the six, which was how I had discovered where my underthings and socks had been stored. I hadn’t had a need to explore the other unopened drawers up until now. Mentally crossing my fingers, I opened one of the mystery drawers and peered inside. A-HA! Jackpot!

  Both of my suits were two-piece bikini styles; one was a plain black string bikini, and the other was a leopard print bikini with red ribbon trimming. They both still looked like they were in mint condition because I had only worn them a couple of times each. Settling on the black bikini, I mentally shrugged as I headed towards my walk-in closet to change. I was able to shut the door and there was a light in there, so changing in my closet didn’t bother me in the slightest.

  Before exiting my closet, I slipped into my black silk kimono-style robe and belted it closed before slipping on a pair of black flip flops. Kyrie was just leaving the bathroom as I was coming out, and she teasingly struck a couple of poses for my benefit before asking, “You like?”

  “No. I LOVE! You look super cute in that suit, but I definitely think you should order a second one because if Ladies Night becomes a ritual, then you’ll need a couple of swimsuits to alternate between.”

  I sat on the end of my bed and reached down to rub the top of Mercer’s soft head while I waited for Kyrie to shrug into her robe and flip flops. Poor Mercer already looked like he was ready for bed, and I wondered if it wouldn’t just be better to leave him behind and let him sleep. He was still a puppy after all, and puppies required lots of naps.

  A soft knock on our door announced the arrival of Jamie, and I shot an excited grin at Kyrie before we both jumped to our feet and rushed for the door. As the door swung open, I saw that Jamie was dressed similarly to us and she had a beaming Marisol standing next to her out in the hallway. Before Kyrie could let out a squeal of joy, Jamie put her finger to her lips to caution us once again to keep quiet. Zima had to be nearby in one of the rooms.

  “Once we get to the pool, you can be as loud as you want sweetie, but until then we have to be quiet.” Kyrie nodded her head in acquiescence as we all turned to leave.

  “Wait, Jamie! What about Mercer? Should he stay or go with us?” I whispered softly to make sure my voice didn’t carry.

  “Bring him with us.”

  Nodding my head, I turned and motioned for Mercer. Almost reluctantly, he climbed from his doggy bed and followed us out of the ro
om. The only noise was the slight tinkling sound from the dog tags on Mercer’s collar, but nothing could be done about that. When we entered the Mess Hall to exit out the front doors, I saw to my relief that our dining area was completely vacant. I briefly wondered what Sam and Gideon were doing at that very moment, but quickly dismissed any feelings of guilt for not including them. I really needed some female bonding time.

  Once we were outside, Kyrie let loose a little peal of excitement as she hugged Marisol. I shared a look with Jamie and we both smiled when the duo started jumping up and down chanting, “Field trip! Field trip!” It warmed my heart to witness Marisol emerging from her shell. We headed to the right and started walking around to the back of the main building, following a cemented pathway that led us down some stairs and around another curve before we came to a building that stood all alone. If it weren’t for the lamp posts placed strategically throughout the grounds, we most definitely would’ve needed some flashlights in order to find our way in the dark. The large white sign, “POOL” clearly revealed that we had reached our destination.

  With a flourish, Jamie opened the door for us and ushered us in as she announced, “Welcome to Ladies Night!” We all walked in and I saw to my surprise that Harper, Allegra, and Sergeant Kami were already present. The lights had been dimmed so that the overhead lighting wouldn’t be so harsh and bright, and there was upbeat music playing on the portable stereo that was situated along one of the walls. My eyes took in the sight of about a dozen beach chairs that were placed around the perimeter of the pool. There was even a large laundry basket with clean fluffy white towels folded and ready for our use. In my excitement, I had totally forgotten to grab a towel before leaving our room, but someone had thoughtfully anticipated our needs.