Gaia's Secret

by Barbara Kloss

  “What’s bothering you?” Alex asked.

  I could feel him studying me, but I didn’t turn to look at him. I picked up a smooth pebble and sent it bounding across the lake’s surface. Tiny ripples spread from each point of contact. “Do you ever…get over the deaths?”

  Alex rested his elbows on his knees.

  “The first time, I was sent on an assignment to kill. A part of me died that day. I was deluded in my self-righteous sense of justice, but when it happened—I still remember that moment like it just happened—I sacrificed a part of myself I knew I could never have back.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I remember all of them…each and every face.

  “I know you’re sick with it and I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but it doesn’t. But—” he turned to look at me and I met his gaze “—you have to remind yourself why. You have seen what the enemy is capable of. If he goes unchecked, many innocent lives—hundreds and thousands of them—may be lost. The barghests, for instance…power like that unleashed on the land. Can you imagine what would happen? And the gargons, think how many lives they’ve destroyed. That is how I justify my actions, remembering all the lives I’m saving by the ones I’m destroying. Those men—the ones that have done so much evil—they already made their choices. They’ve chosen a path that doesn’t allow for mercy or tolerance of any other way of life aside from their own. With every choice, there are consequences.”

  I understood what he was saying, but it was still difficult for me to digest. It was necessary, even though it sounded contradictory. Kill to protect life. But I didn’t like the idea of him putting his life at risk. “Why does it have to be you?” I asked.

  “It’s who I am. I wouldn’t say I’m as legalistic about servitude and propriety as my dad, but I can’t sit back and watch injustices. Not when I know I can help.”

  “Maybe…you can find someone else to protect. Someone that doesn’t put you in as much danger.”

  “Daria.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “When it comes to protecting you, I never have a second thought. Your life is so precious to me that I don’t trust anyone else with it. If any of them harmed you—touched you—I can’t explain it but giving them a quick death would’ve been a difficult favor to grant. It surprises me—scares me a little. I’ve never…felt that way before.”

  I took a deep breath, trying to ignore how close he was. “You’re saying I make you want to…torture people?”

  He grinned and looked down at his hands. “When you put it that way…” When he glanced back at me, something in his eyes held me still. “Is that disgusting to you?”

  “How can it be when I’m just as guilty? And I can’t think of any other alternative, considering we wanted to escape alive. It’s just taking some time for me to deal with the reality of it. You know I’ve fought almost my entire life, but I wasn’t wagering life and death then.”

  He gazed out at the lake. “Actually, it’s pretty amazing how fast you’ve learned to use a dagger. You’re almost as good as I am.” One corner of his lips pulled up into a grin.

  I rolled my eyes. “Give me a few days. I’ll be better than you.”

  He smiled then, the starlight sharpening his already strong features. His dark hair fell around his face and eyes in a beautiful mess. He looked so striking that my breath caught in my throat and I glanced away, afraid to look back at him, afraid he would see the effect he had on me.

  Daria, knock it off. He’s your friend. It’s okay to think he’s handsome but you should probably stop drooling over him.

  “What made you decide to forgive me?” His deep voice tickled my ear.

  Friends don’t drool. Friends don’t drool…

  “Tiernan gave me a choice. He said if I surrendered my powers to serve him, then he wouldn’t harm any of you. And if I didn’t, he would kill me and take them anyway. Then he would kill the rest of you.”

  I felt Alex’s gaze on me, but I stared out at the water like it was the most interesting thing I’d ever seen.

  “It was then I understood why you didn’t tell me all those years. You knew me better than anyone—that I would march myself right into harm’s way, thinking I was invincible. But to know that nothing would happen to you—to have the promise of your safety if I lived a lie—that’s what I would be doing. I would’ve done it. I would’ve hated myself for it, but I would’ve done it to protect you.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “That’s because I had another option.”

  He was still watching me, but I couldn’t turn to look at him. Not this close. Somehow I knew I’d never be able to finish what I wanted to say.

  “I don’t know how I managed it, but I thought if I could somehow manipulate a fire to appear, there might be a small chance I could manipulate my chains to break.” I tossed another pebble in the lake and it splashed with a hollow plop. “I don’t know. Thinking back on it, my logic sounds ridiculous.”

  “And it worked?”

  I felt his surprise as I nodded. “Ironic, you have Lord Tiernan to thank for that. He’s the one that convinced me I had all this power in my blood. I figured if it was something he wanted so desperately, I should at least try it out before he took it away.”

  Alex grabbed onto my wrists and I flinched. His brow furrowed as he rolled back my sleeves. “Why didn’t you say anything about this?”

  Even in the low light, my wrists looked badly bruised, with dark lines of dried blood etched around them from the chains. He pushed one of my sleeves up further, revealing the line Tiernan had not so delicately carved into my arm, and looked up at me with a frown. “Daria.”

  “Really, I forgot about it. And it’s not like I could tell your mom. I feel bad enough that she used all her strength on my dad.”

  His face was rigid with disapproval as he stood and walked to the water’s edge.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  He waved at me to join him. “We need to at least wash it.”

  “Oh no, no, no, no,” I said. “I’m not getting anywhere near that water.”

  Alex looked amused. “She won’t get you now. I’m with you.” There was a gleam in his eyes that made my stomach flutter.

  Friends don’t drool…

  I stood and joined him, crouching beside the water. Alex helped splash water onto my forearm. It stung at first, but then began to numb the pains in my wrists and arms. It was purifying, cleansing my blood of grime and memories.

  “Better?” he whispered in my ear.

  I nodded. My heart was beating fast, and, even though it was cool, I felt warm all over. He stood and walked back to where we were sitting. The moment he placed about three feet between us, I heard quick movement, an irritating familiar gurgle of laughter, and found myself drenched from head to toe. Again. “Alex!” I clenched my teeth.

  He started laughing.

  “It’s not funny!”

  “I know…but....” He could barely get words out, he was laughing so hard.

  That was it. I charged at him, throwing myself on top of him and pushing him to the ground, making sure his clothing soaked up as much water as possible.

  But he wasn’t fighting me.

  Instead, his arms wrapped around me holding me against him. His laughter died down as his hands trailed up my back and into my hair and he rested his palm on my face, holding me there, inches from him.

  There was an intensity in his gaze that melted every part of my body. My eyes were trapped. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe. He held his palm against my cheek as his breath warmed my lips. He leaned closer, and he kissed me.

  His lips were velvety soft as they pressed against mine. He hesitated at first, fighting back a desire, unsure of my feelings. And I finally understood why everything had been so difficult, why his leaving had hurt so much. It was this. It had always been this. He had always meant so much more than just a friend.

  Passion burned through my veins, and I started kissing him back. His emotions
were intense and dizzying as they blended with my own. All of them were tender; all of them were filled with longing. I drank in the taste of him as he rolled me beneath him, his heart pounding against mine. His fingers threaded through my hair and mine through his, each of us pulling the other closer. Our legs tangled as our mouths pressed together more urgently—with need.

  With a soft groan he stopped. I felt resolve replace his passion and he rolled away.

  My heart was trying to explode out of my chest, my mouth still burned from his lips, the taste of him lingering on my tongue.

  “I’m…sorry.” His voice was rough.

  “You’re…sorry?” I gasped. “Why would you say that?”

  “I should never have…” He shut his eyes, struggling to calm himself. “I forgot…myself.”

  “Forgot yourself?”

  He turned to face me then. His eyes were filled with pain as he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I forgot who you are.”

  I finally discover I’ve been in love with my best friend all my life, and the first thing he does is say he forgot who I am? You don’t kiss your best friend and then say “sorry, wrong person.”

  “What are you saying?”

  He trailed his fingers along my cheek. “Believe me, I’ve wanted nothing more than to have that freedom with you, but I’ve always known that once you came to this world, things could never be how they were, or—” he touched my lips “—how I want them to be.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Once you meet your grandfather, you will.”

  My disrupted passion was turning itself into anger. “You’re telling me that you’re going to let my grandfather—a man I’ve never even met, and has never had any interest in my life—control our future?”

  “When your grandfather happens to be king of Gaia, yes.”

  I couldn’t believe he was doing this, making it about my situation—being the granddaughter of a king. It was like I’d stumbled into another time period altogether, when position and class actually mattered. No, it couldn’t be possible—not these days. This was the twenty-first century, and although I was currently in another world, I was from the United States. Born and raised there. I had freedoms—including the freedom to associate with whomever I wanted.

  “Daria.” He rested his palm on my cheek, his gaze never leaving mine. “I have always loved you, much more than a friend should—especially one that would do nothing to dishonor you. We can’t be. I’ve known this since the day I met you. Your grandfather is, or will be, very protective of your position. You of all people should understand. I’ve known this. I’ve always known this.” He stared into my eyes. “We can’t be close, not like we were. This is Gaia. We can’t do as we please—especially not you. I can never have you when you belong to the state, and I doubt anyone is as angry about that fact as I am.”

  The absolute truth and sincerity in his words filled my heart with bitterness from a discovery that was only going to cause pain. His feelings were so strong and intoxicating, I wondered how he’d hidden them from me this long. I had loved Alex my entire life—loved him as my best friend—but it wasn’t until recently that I’d been so confused. He had understood the depth of that love; he was always the one that understood.

  “There has to be a way.” I touched his cheek, feeling the stubble beneath my fingertips. “My dad loves you. He can talk to my…this king…”

  Alex kissed my fingertips and smiled. “I’ve always loved your determination. I won’t lie, sometimes it drives me mad.”

  I smiled back at him, our fingers intertwined in the small space between us. I wanted to close that space.

  “I didn’t plan on complicating this…relationship of ours any more than it has been the past three years. I just wanted some time with you alone.” He played with a piece of my hair. “Without all the hordes of people that will be surrounding you from now on. Everyone will be watching.”

  “You’re acting like I’ll never see you again.”

  He gazed up at the sky and his chest rose with a deep breath. He shut his eyes, silent for a moment. ”The connection you have to this world—the connection your mom had. What’s it like?”

  His question caught me off guard. I also wasn’t sure how much of it I wanted to tell him. He might be upset if he knew I could almost always sense his feelings. Though I wondered how accurate that sense was, considering I had never known he felt this way about me.

  “Well,” I started, taking in a breath of fresh air. “It’s like my spirit is aware of everything around me. Things I can’t see I can feel—like I’m being pulled in a thousand directions. I can sense others when they’re near, as if their soul has physical properties. I know their feelings at times—not why they’re feeling that way, but just what they’re feeling.”

  His mind was thinking something over. “You sense mine?”

  “Yes.”

  “And are my feelings stronger than the others?”

  I thought before I answered. “Yes.”

  He nodded, staring at the sky.

  “Why?”

  “I can sense yours,” his voice was quiet. “Ever since you’ve been here. That ability—I’ve never experienced it. But you are the only person I can feel.”

  Part of me felt horrified that so much of myself had been obvious to him.

  One corner of his lips turned upwards as he glanced back at me. “Trust me, there were many points during the past few weeks I cursed that newfound talent. I thought you hated me so much I was beyond all hope of forgiveness. It might have been nice to be ignorant of it.”

  I smiled, dropping my gaze. “Alex, I’m sorry.”

  He placed his hand on my cheek again, our eyes glued to each other. Moments passed and we lay still. I yearned to be closer to him and my lips ached to feel his again, and as the thought would pass—as my desire would pulse through—he would smile that smile I adored.

  The air grew cooler and the breeze chilled my damp skin, giving me goose bumps.

  “We should get back,” he said. “Someone might wonder what happened to us, and I don’t want to be held responsible for making you get sick.”

  I nudged myself against him. “I don’t care.”

  I felt him fighting against his passion. “I do. We can’t have the king of Gaia meeting his snot-nosed granddaughter.”

  I smiled at that, and he helped me to my feet and wrapped an arm behind my waist, holding me to him. He stared into my eyes as he moved the hair from my face. My need for him was bursting inside of me. All of a sudden, little white specks started floating around us, like snow. They landed in our hair, on our clothes—delicate, white flower petals that smelled of rich tuberose.

  Alex dusted off a petal that had fallen on my nose. “Show off.” When he saw that I had no idea what he was talking about, he continued. “Like your dad said, you inherited a connection to this world from your mom. A connection to Gaia. I think these trees are in tune to your feelings and are…adding to the ambiance.”

  Before I could argue, he rested his lips gently on mine. He pulled away too fast and grabbed my hand. “We better leave or I won’t be able to help myself. My self-control is waning fast.”

  “I suggest we stand here then. At least five more minutes.” I stood planted to the ground and another shower of petals fell around us. I didn’t know how I was doing it, but I wished it would stop. There’s no being discreet when the trees give you away.

  Desire flashed through him but he forced it down the moment it came. Alex had incredible willpower. I’d always admired that about him, but right now, it was driving me insane.

  He shook his head. “You are going to be the death of me.” He pulled me after him through the trees. My pulse ran fast; so did his as we marched towards reality and away from something we both wanted. Responsibility was something I prided myself in, but I hated it when it conflicted with my desires.

  Everyone was just as we had left them. Grool’s snores had been rep
laced by grumbling and mumbling as he clawed at the air. Alex picked up Fleck and laid him down on his blankets.

  “What about you?” I whispered.

  “I’m going to stay awake.”

  “Then I’ll stay awake with you.”

  “No, you’re going to bed.” He walked over to my blankets and lay down, motioning for me to join him. I was there in a heartbeat, lying on my side right next to him. His chest rose and fell quickly as he chuckled into my hair. He draped an arm over my waist, holding me against him as I breathed in the scent of him.

  I turned back and spoke into his neck. “I don’t see how this is going to help your case—with everyone able to see.”

  His breath tickled my ear. “I’m only staying until you fall asleep.”

  “Then I won’t.”

  He squeezed me gently as he kissed my hair and said nothing else. I soon forgot the chill of night being wrapped in a cocoon of Alex’s warmth. Sometimes he would trace invisible patterns over my arms, or run his fingers through my hair and brush it away from my face. I’d never been more comfortable and contented. My eyelids felt heavy as I struggled to keep them open.

  The last thing I remembered was catching a glimmer of silver flecks above a mouth smiling at me from beneath Alex’s blankets.

  Chapter 27

  Valdon

  Soft voices filtered around me as my consciousness returned. I curled into myself, my blanket doing an insufficient job keeping me warm. Alex wasn’t behind me. I had fallen asleep.

  When I opened my eyes, I found my dad off to the side, discussing something with Cicero, Sonya, and Tran. Grool was across from me, building something that looked like a trap with rope and wood. He placed a small object beneath it, hopped away with that maniacal laughter of his, and hid behind a tree, glaring at his creation.

  I couldn’t see Alex anywhere. Or Fleck.

  “You’re awake!” Dad beamed, walking towards me.

  My muscles ached and my joints creaked as I got to my feet. Dad wrapped his arms around me and then appraised my attire. “You look just like your mother, dressed like that. I am sorry I wasn’t the one to give it to you.”