Another Man's Child

by Anne Bennett

  ‘Perfect,’ Celia said.

  Andy took hold of her arm and marched her across the deck to the canteen and a little later watched in amusement as Celia devoured a bowl of porridge, two slices of soda bread and two cups of tea, telling him between mouthfuls all about the plan Annabel had told her about.

  Andy’s initial feeling was that he hadn’t brought Celia away to start life in service, but then what had he brought her away to? Most of the chaps travelling with him had plans or offers of jobs on building sites in and around Liverpool, whereas he had no plan, no job and very little money, no idea even where he would sleep that night. Left to himself he could sleep anywhere – even a park bench would do him for a night or two while he looked for work – but he couldn’t inflict that on Celia. At least as a lady’s maid she would have a bed to sleep in and food to eat and if he hadn’t her to worry about her in that respect, it would give him time to get a job and somewhere halfway decent enough to live. Till then she could bide with this Lady.

  It would mean moving to Birmingham, but that in itself wasn’t a bad idea for if Dan Mulligan found out somehow that they had come to England and decided to follow them and force Celia home, Liverpool was where he would look, so it was best for both of them not to stay long there. Also, one of the chaps travelling with him was going to Birmingham himself and he had told him what he knew about it because his uncle and aunt had lived there for some years. The man’s uncle worked in the brass industry and he had put in a word for him and they had agreed to try him out for a few weeks.

  ‘Lucky you,’ Andy had said.

  ‘Well if you haven’t got anything lined up,’ the man said, ‘Birmingham’s probably a better bet than most places because my uncle said Birmingham is known as the city of a thousand trades, or it was before the war at least. So if I don’t stay in the brass industry any one of them would suit me because I’m not a fussy chap.’

  And neither am I, Andy thought and so as Celia finished the second cup of tea he said, ‘Tell your Lady Annabel we will go with her to Birmingham and providing you feel all right about it you can be her lady’s maid with my blessing.’

  Celia gave an inward sigh of relief for she didn’t know what to do if she rejected Lady Annabel’s offer of employment for it wasn’t as if they had a plan B. Anyway, she felt rather protective of her because she did seem incredibly frail and otherworldly somehow. Celia was feeling much better about everything as she left the canteen for it was amazing how much more confident a person feels when they have eaten well. When she returned to Lady Annabel and saw the lights of Liverpool and knew the boat was approaching the shores of England, she felt excited rather than apprehensive.

  Lady Annabel obviously didn’t feel the same and she groaned when Celia told her it wouldn’t be long now till the boat docked.

  ‘I thought you would be pleased to know that you will be off the boat soon.’

  ‘I am pleased about that,’ Lady Annabel said. ‘Delighted in fact, but I feel that if I stand up my head will explode and we will be staying in a hotel tonight and continuing our journey in the morning and I can’t arrive looking like a scarecrow so I must somehow put my hair up.’

  ‘I will help you, my lady, if you tell me what to do.’

  Lady Annabel gave a slight nod. ‘I will be glad of your assistance,’ she said. ‘And it’s good to know how to do it for it will be one of your duties anyway.’

  So between them they made Lady Annabel’s hair look more respectable and then Celia helped her on with her coat and inveigled her on the deck for she was sure the cool night air would make her feel a whole lot better. They stood together and watched England approach and the salty breeze revived Annabel somewhat and Celia was glad to see that it took the greenish tinge from her cheeks as she said, ‘My brother, Henry, has an account at the Adelphi as it’s where he stays when he’s in Liverpool and where my father and I stayed before taking the boat on our way to Ireland. Henry will have phoned to make a reservation for me and told me to make for there and he will settle the bill later. Your brother will not be able to stay with us, though, and he will have to lodge elsewhere. It is a port so I would say there are many places a man may lay his head.’

  Celia said nothing but marvelled a little at how the rich manage things, their lives and other people’s.

  They had to disembark in different areas and it was while Celia was waiting with Andy that she told him of the arrangements Annabel had made for their overnight stay in Liverpool. She felt quite sorry for Andy, but he assured her that he would have expected no more and as long as she was fixed up he could easily find somewhere for himself.

  When Lady Annabel joined them though, she looked rather askance at Andy and said, ‘What happened to your face?’

  He had been asked this question by some of his fellow travellers and he said he had been riding a horse that bucked and had gone over the five-barred gate and landed in a prickly bush. He knew none of the male passengers believed it because they knew the marks of a fight on a person’s face but he was grateful that they didn’t press him, thinking it was his own business. Lady Annabel believed him totally and expressed sympathy and concern, but he said it was healing nicely.

  They took a motorised taxi from the docks, another first for Celia and Andy, and when the cab pulled up before the sumptuous entrance to the hotel, a very smart man in uniform that Celia found out later was called a commissionaire stepped forward and opened the door for them, while another took all the luggage from the boot of the taxi.

  ‘You have your usual suite, Lady Annabel,’ the smart man said. ‘And I see you have your maid with you,’ he added. ‘She can have an adjoining room if you wish it.’

  ‘Yes,’ Annabel said. ‘And this,’ she added, indicating Andy, who was standing beside them on the pavement, ‘is my maid’s brother who was kind enough to escort us from the docks and is now off to find his own lodging and then will be travelling back to Birmingham with us in the morning.’

  ‘Yes, Lady Annabel,’ the commissionaire said, taking her arm. She looked back at the door and said to Andy, ‘Be at Lime Street Station at eleven a.m. tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Yes, I’ll be there,’ Andy said. He wondered if he might be able to say good night to Celia and knew she thought the same and had taken a footstep towards him when Annabel said quite sharply, ‘Celia, come along, do.’

  Celia turned away with a rueful smile. The tone annoyed Andy slightly but neither he nor Celia were in a position to do anything about it – it was just the gentry pulling rank as the nicest of them were wont to do. Celia knew it too and with a slight sigh followed her mistress. Andy watched them go and then he slung his bag over his shoulder and with his hands in his pockets made his way through the dark, unfamiliar streets to the dock area where he reasoned most of the cheap lodging houses would be.

  In the suite of rooms allotted to them Annabel sank thankfully into a chair with a sigh of relief as soon as the porter had left.

  ‘Are you all right, my lady?’

  ‘No, Celia,’ Annabel answered. ‘Though you were right and the night air did revive me a little, I am still very weary and my head is pounding.’

  ‘Maybe if you eat something you’ll feel better,’ Celia suggested. ‘Your stomach must be very empty.’

  Annabel nodded. ‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘But my stomach is far from right yet. I don’t want to eat just to bring it back again. I think it’s better to give it a complete rest for tonight and then it should have recovered by the morning. In the meantime I think I should have been honest in the beginning when I offered you the position of lady’s maid and maybe when you know the truth you won’t want to be my lady’s maid after all, but I hope that isn’t the case.’

  Celia heard Annabel’s voice rising in distress and saw her twisting her lace handkerchief between her agitated fingers and her heart turned over in sympathy for this girl so obviously deeply upset about something and she said, ‘Don’t fret about this, whatever it is. I won’t leave you
, I promise, and you can tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you when you are feeling a little stronger.’

  ‘No, I must tell you now,’ Annabel insisted. ‘We must be straight with one another.’

  Celia felt a little guilty when she thought of the lies she had told about her and Andy being brother and sister. Even her surname was a false one, and she wasn’t at liberty to confess any of this unless she could speak to Andy first because it affected him as well and so she pushed this to the back of her mind and turned her attention to Annabel.

  ‘Go on then, my lady,’ she urged. ‘If you are determined to tell me I’m more than willing to listen to anything you have to say.’

  ‘First I must have your solemn promise that you will not tell a living soul what I am about to say.’

  ‘You have it, my lady.’

  ‘I mean everyone,’ Annabel said. ‘Not even your brother.’

  ‘No, I won’t tell him either.’

  ‘It’s just that it’s the greatest shame a woman can bear for I am expecting a baby and not married.’

  Celia was shocked, but not by her words as much as the fact that she couldn’t see how she could be carrying a child for she was more than thin, she was almost gaunt. ‘Are you sure, my lady?’

  Annabel gave a harsh little laugh. ‘I’m sure, the doctor’s sure and my father’s sure. I’m expecting all right.’

  ‘Who’s … Who’s the father?’

  No doubt about Annabel’s harsh tone now, as she said bitterly, ‘Oh that’s the best bit yet. The father is a great friend of my own father and he’s nearly the same age. His name is Charles Timberlake and he was one of the crowd of men and some wives who would arrive periodically at the house for the shooting or a dinner party or some such. My home is almost a mansion, Manor Park Hall, near a little hamlet called Longdon which is the other side of Lichfield and many miles from here, thank goodness. It’s set in its own grounds, acres and acres of farmland and pasture to exercise the horses, and there are always people coming to the house for they entertain a lot.’

  Easy to do when you have a houseful of servants to do the work, Celia thought. She didn’t say this, feeling it wasn’t her place and waited for Annabel to continue.

  ‘And the funny thing was I really liked this man,’ Annabel said at last and she glanced at Celia and said, ‘Not that way you know, not sex. I just liked him. He talked to me and listened to what I had to say. That was a novel experience for me.’ She broke off here and looked at Celia as she said, ‘How old are you, Celia?’

  ‘Eighteen.’

  ‘And have you ever had a boyfriend?’

  Celia knew she had to be careful and so she shook her head.

  ‘Nor me,’ Annabel said. ‘I am sixteen and my father said I was too young to meet men. He promised me a ball when I was eighteen and he would invite all the eligible bachelors. He always said I would easily bewitch one of those men and be married by the age of nineteen. That won’t happen now of course, in fact when I look into the future I see one big, dark hole.’

  ‘Oh, Lady Annabel.’

  ‘It’s true, Celia,’ Annabel said. ‘Who will look at me now? And all because that man I liked, who I thought liked me as the daughter of his good friend, broke into my room one night when he was very drunk and raped me. It hurt like hell and he had his hand over my mouth so I couldn’t make a sound. In fact it was so tight I thought I was going to suffocate. I was so very scared.’

  Celia reached across and took one of Annabel’s hands and squeezed it tight for she felt the tremors running all through her body as she re-lived that terrifying night.

  ‘It seemed to go on forever, him pounding into me on and on and on,’ Annabel continued. ‘And when it was over he rolled off me and left the room without a word and I was left drenched with sweat and blood.’

  ‘Lady Annabel, this is terrible,’ Celia cried. ‘What did you do?’

  ‘Nothing,’ Annabel said. ‘I mean, I did nothing about telling anyone. I jammed my chair against the door- knob lest someone else tried something similar and waited for the house to grow silent and when it did I lit a fire in the grate and burned the soiled sheets and the nightdress he had ripped from the neck to the hem and I crept along to the laundry room for more sheets but I had to turn the mattress because that was saturated too. Then I got dressed and went out into the dark night because I couldn’t bear to see that man’s face again. Fortunately, they were leaving that day which is why there had been such a boozy feast the night before and I stayed away from the house till I saw his carriage pull out through the gates. Of course I was scolded for my bad manners in not being there to bid our guests farewell, but I didn’t care about that.’

  ‘Couldn’t you have confided in your mother then?’

  Annabel shook her head. ‘My mother is not the sort of woman anyone could confide in,’ she said. ‘She cares more for respectability and standing in the community than even my father does.’ There was a small silence and then Annabel went on. ‘I could maybe have told my governess, but she had left the week before. In fact it probably wouldn’t have happened at all if she’d been there for her room was very close to mine and he probably wouldn’t have risked her hearing and maybe coming to my aid. As it was I had no one I could tell. Anyway, I wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. But that was easier said than done. I was beset by nightmares so I was afraid to sleep, I had panic attacks in the day sometimes too when I felt I couldn’t breathe and I lost my appetite and became listless.

  ‘My mother initially thought I was pining for Henry who was abroad. I was too, for my mother never really cared for me and told me all the time when I was growing up that she had little time for daughters and all they were good for was marrying well. Henry was the apple of her eye and she would have been content with just him. I loved him too and he has always championed me, sometimes even against Mother, and I did miss him. It was much more than missing Henry, however, and when my monthlies stopped, the doctor was sent for because my mother was convinced I needed a tonic. When the doctor told her I was pregnant she fainted clean away.’

  ‘You told them then who it was?’

  ‘Oh yes and they believed that bit of it because they knew it had to be a visitor because I seldom left the house and never without at least one of them with me. I never had a chance to meet anyone.’

  ‘So was he called to account, this man?’

  ‘No, not exactly,’ Annabel said and her face grew suddenly very sad. ‘He admitted what he had done, and said he had been very drunk and that I had been leading him on all night when in fact I had hardly seen him and had gone to bed early. But my father was too drunk to remember much of that night himself and my mother was little better and so they believed what the man told them. Even when he went on to say that I was waiting for him when he went to bed and I drew him into my room and I was naked and he was so drunk he couldn’t help himself.

  ‘My father told me all this later, he sort of threw the words at me. He actually said that the man claimed I had been gagging for sex, begging the man to love me properly and after all, my father said, he was only flesh and blood, like any other man, and too drunk to ignore the advances of a lewd and craven temptress. I tried to tell my father that every word Timberlake said was a lie and that I had done nothing wrong. He didn’t believe me and looked at me with total disdain and said he was ashamed to have fathered such a slut. He went on to say the man admitted he had done wrong and he was prepared to pay something for the child’s upkeep, but he said he couldn’t take the total blame for what had happened when I had enticed him in the first place and been a willing, even an eager participant.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ Celia cried. ‘Surely your father knew you better than that?’

  ‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you,’ Annabel said. ‘But neither he nor my mother would listen to my account of what happened and the recriminations went on and on. My mother said she couldn’t believe she had given birth to such a wanton hussy without a shred
of decency. Henry is the only one that might have believed me and he certainly wouldn’t have let them send me away.’

  ‘Where were you being sent?’

  ‘To Aunt Agatha’s,’ Annabel said. ‘She lives on the West Coast of Ireland and she takes religion to extremes and is completely intolerant of people who don’t adhere to her strict regime of prayers and rigorous fasting. She would have had me on my knees all day every day and fed meagre amounts of food while she told me how sinful I was and God knows what would have happened to the child when I gave birth. Anyway, I couldn’t stand it and it was unfair because I was being punished for something that wasn’t my fault. So, when the boat docked in Belfast I pawned the jewellery I’d had the sense to bring.’

  Celia’s mouth dropped open. ‘You pawned your jewellery?’ she repeated incredulously. ‘You went into a pawn shop?’

  Annabel nodded. ‘I had to because I had no money of my own.’

  ‘I know, but I would be scared stiff to go into a pawn shop.’

  ‘I was,’ Annabel admitted. ‘And it was a horrid little man who came to attend to me. At first he wanted to know the ins and outs of it all and how I came by so much jewellery and so on. I told him that that was none of his business and that all he needed to know was that I had come by it all honestly and it was mine to sell if I wished to do so.’

  ‘So he gave you the money?’

  ‘Of course he did,’ Lady Annabel said. ‘He wanted to get his hands on all that jewellery and he knew I had to have money and fast and so he probably fleeced me totally. No,’ she said thinking back. ‘It wasn’t a pleasant experience and not one I’d want to repeat in the near future, but not half as scary as being buried alive with Aunt Agatha.’

  ‘Well all I can say is that you have some pluck, Lady Annabel.’

  ‘Desperate situations call for desperate actions,’ Lady Annabel said. ‘I used some of the money to book a passage back to Liverpool. I had written to Henry as soon as I realised what my parents had planned for me. He said his business was complete and to send him a telegram in Belfast just before I got on the boat and when it docked, after a night in the hotel, to make straight for his house in Birmingham if he wasn’t there to meet us at New Street Station. He also told me why our parents believed the man over me so completely.’