The Calling

by Ashley Lynn Willis

  “He’s manipulative, and I don’t want him anywhere around you. Not after what he did to you.”

  So much for mending their relationship. God, she had been stupid to try.

  “Are you still interested in him?” Justin asked while he peeled the label off his longneck, his fingers working the strips of paper until nothing was left but smooth glass.

  “I already told you no. I was just hoping you two could forgive each other. I hate that your friendship broke up because of me, but I should’ve kept my mouth shut about his visit. I’m sorry.”

  The muscles in his forearm rippled with tension, as if itching for another label to make short work of. Instead, he balled up the pile of silver paper into tiny wads. “I’m having a hard time believing you aren’t considering his offer when you blush every time you say that asshole’s name.”

  She pressed her palms to her cheeks. “I’m not blushing.” Was she? Her skin did feel hot.

  “You believe Ty, but not me?”

  “Okay, maybe I am blushing, but it’s because I’m annoyed with you.” She would have expected his jealousy after a few dates, but not after one dinner. Especially since she had every intention of taking things slow with him—really slow. Maybe he needed a dose of her reality to sober up his emotions. “I never planned to be with a man again, at least not until I had a clean bill of health.”

  Justin leaned back, his tall body resting against the booth. “This is a date. You realize that, right? And as far as I know, your health bill hasn’t been issued yet.”

  “I don’t understand what you expect of me.”

  “I expect you to give us a chance.”

  “I just wanted to enjoy an evening with you.”

  “One evening isn’t enough.”

  She gnawed on her bottom lip, his comment at the beach playing in her head. I’m not asking you to marry me. But if that were true, why was he acting as if he wanted a commitment? “Look, Justin, in a month, I may be back on the operating table. Based on Ty’s reaction, that’s not something men deal well with, and I’m not going to subject you to that.”

  “You’re not subjecting me to anything I wouldn’t sign up for.”

  Mandy rubbed her temple. “Cancer isn’t sexy.” And if he’d seen her naked, he’d know just how un-sexy it was.

  He reached across the table and took her hand in his, his skin warm and his fingers firm as they clasped hers. “You realize Ty did this to you, made you feel diseased. Cancer’s not a death sentence, and it doesn’t make you unworthy of a normal life.”

  She stared down at her nearly empty wine glass, not sure what to say. Wasn’t her goblet the symbol for her entire life? Enough wine for a taste, but never enough for a happy buzz.

  He sighed. “You’re living in a brick fortress, aren’t you?”

  That was putting it mildly. “You have no idea how thick the walls are.”

  “I’ll buy a wrecking ball.”

  She looked up and stared into his stoic eyes. “Why are you willing to put up with me?”

  “Do you remember when that autistic boy came into the hospital?” he asked, studying her intently. “The one I rescued during the dead of winter?”

  She couldn’t have forgotten that case if she’d tried. “His dad died of hypothermia. The son’s survival was a miracle.”

  He squeezed her hand, and a shot of energy coursed up her arm to her heart. “I spotted you outside the boy’s room, crying. You were trying to hold it in, but the second you saw me, you let it all out. I asked why you were taking it so hard. The boy was fine. Do you remember what you told me?”

  “I was upset because the boy needed his father. Bonds are difficult for autistic children.”

  “You were mourning the dad’s death. I only mourn for the children, the ones who should’ve been protected, but their parents or guardians failed them. The father failed that boy and almost killed him. Even though he was dead, I was furious with him. You cried for him. You have the part of my heart I’m missing.”

  Mandy stared at him, utterly flabbergasted. Was this man for real? At the moment, he seemed straight out of a fairytale.

  Justin brought her hand to his cheek and brushed her palm over his lips. “You’ve got one minute to convince me you aren’t getting back with Ty. Otherwise, I’m going to find that fucker and encourage him to stay away from you, even if I have to chuck him into shark-infested waters.” His warm breath sent a shock of energy through her core.

  Her heart accelerated uncontrollably. “I hope you’re kidding.”

  He kissed her palm. “Do you really want to find out?”

  A delicious tingle coursed up her spine. “I can’t think when you’re doing that.”

  He laid her hand down, palm first on the table, and raised both hands as if he were being held up at gunpoint. “I’m waiting.”

  “I asked Ty one time why he wanted to marry me. He told me it was because of my big ass. I think you’ve got him beat.”

  The twinkle in his eyes finally returned. “Oh, your big ass is at the top of my list, too. In fact, we need to order dessert because some of the jiggle’s disappeared in the last year.”

  She pursed her lips. “You men are all the same.” But she knew without a doubt that Justin wasn’t like any man she’d ever met, and even though she was scared to let him in, she wasn’t about to miss her opportunity to open the door.

  Chapter 7

  Mandy ran a fine-toothed comb through her hair before teasing the roots for body. She brushed it back, leaving a stray, sultry strand grazing her forehead. Just because her locks were short, didn’t mean they couldn’t be sexy. She thought of Marilyn Monroe in Niagara—sultry, but tastefully coifed.

  Satisfied with her hair, she glanced at her watch. Justin was due at her apartment any minute. When she raised her gaze to the mirror to give herself a last once-over, she couldn’t help but stare in awe. The woman looking back was hardly recognizable, with rosy cheeks and a smile as wide as the Gulf of Mexico. Dear Lord, what had happened to the solemn girl who refused to date? She giggled, watching her chest shake from the laugh. That girl had been chucked off a cliff and replaced with a much happier woman.

  “Good riddance,” she whispered.

  Hearing the faint ringing of her cell, she hurried out of the bathroom to answer. It was probably Kirsten reminding her to stuff a few condoms in her purse, which was just silly. She’d only been dating Justin a little over a week, so the horizontal mambo was definitely not in the cards tonight.

  But what if Justin thought it was?

  Her body tensed, and she absently pressed her hand to her reconstructed breast, remembering the scar she so carefully hid. If she refused to get naked, maybe sex wasn’t in the cards at all. Blah! No depressing thoughts tonight. With a shake of her head, she flung the negativity aside and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

  “I have to cancel,” Justin said.

  So much for stifling negativity. Her heart sank. “Why?”

  “One of the guys came down with the flu, and they called me to take his place. A storm’s moving in off the Gulf, so they need a full crew. I’m really sorry.”

  She sighed. “It’s okay. You can’t do anything about it.”

  “We’ll go out Friday. You aren’t working, right?”

  “Right.”

  “We can hang at the beach in the afternoon, then have dinner afterward.” In the background, an authoritative man’s voice called Justin’s name. “I gotta go.”

  She bit her bottom lip as worry crept into her mind like a cold fog. “Be safe.”

  “Always. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Looking forward to it.”

  Mandy tossed the phone onto the coffee table and slumped onto the couch. She should’ve realized something like this would happen when the rain first began pounding her window. How many times had Ty canceled plans because of a storm? In hurricane season, she’d hardly seen him. Justin wouldn’t be any different. He might even be worse since Corpus Chri
sti employed so few rescue swimmers. Oh, well. She’d dealt with life as a Coast Guard’s girlfriend in the past. She could deal with it again.

  She kicked off her heels, yanked the hem of her skirt down, and nestled into the couch. With nothing to look forward to except an evening of watching TV, her thoughts turned to her mammogram screening. “Friday,” she muttered under her breath. Only two days to go. The lump in her throat grew larger.

  Desperate for a distraction, she found the remote and flipped on the TV—nothing like a trashy reality show to take her mind off her life. Just as she’d settled on the latest Bachelors, someone knocked on the door. Other than Justin, she hadn’t expected a visitor. Maybe Kirsten was making a pit stop to check Mandy’s date ensemble. Since the chemo, Kirsten claimed Mandy had the fashion sense of a ninety-year-old Russian woman. She shook her head as she headed toward the door, figuring Kirsten would probably be holding a micro-mini in one hand and a tube-top in the other.

  She opened the door, about to welcome the reprieve from dwelling on her test results, when every muscle in her body locked painfully in place. She couldn’t move as she took in Ty standing on her doormat. He looked stunning in khaki slacks and a turquoise polo that showed off his golden skin.

  He smiled and held out a dozen yellow roses in a glass vase. “For the most beautiful girl in Texas.”

  Mandy blinked hard in disbelief. Ty had never brought her roses in all the time they’d been together. A stray wildflower was the best he’d ever done. He was upping his game.

  His gaze washed over her outfit, lingering a little too long on her breasts. “You always did look good in blue. Brings out your eyes.” He pushed the bouquet at her, forcing her to step back to keep a petal from being shoved up her nose. Ty slipped through the gap her retreat had left. “Can I come in?”

  “No!” she said, as he strolled into her living room. Who the hell did he think he was, barging in uninvited? She dumped the flowers on the kitchen table, sloshing water on the oak wood, and turned an annoyed gaze on him. It seemed Ty had gotten his cockiness back.

  He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem happy to see me.”

  No, duh. She kicked the door shut. “What do you want?”

  “Are you busy?”

  She braced her fists on her hips and put on a poker face Johnny Cash would have been proud of. “I’ve got plans. Why else would I dress up?”

  Ty spread his arms wide, his polo straining over his chest. “What could be more important than me?”

  To lie or not to lie, that was the question. She mashed her lips together. Time to lie. “I’ve got a date with Justin.”

  Ty pursed his lips. “He’s at work tonight.”

  “How would you know that?”

  “Because I paid Luke a hundred bucks to call in sick.”

  She gasped and sputtered. Had the man lost his mind? “Can’t you get court-martialed for something like that?”

  “It’s worth the risk.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “You haven’t returned my calls.”

  “You called once this morning. Sorry I didn’t jump all over that.”

  He placed his hand over his heart in a sad attempt at looking hurt. “I bared my soul to you last week. That has to count for something.”

  His confession was too little, too late, and if Justin was skeptical, maybe she should be also. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. “If Justin hadn’t taken an interest in me, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “That’s not true. For the last six months, I’ve known I made a mistake. Justin showing up just encouraged me to fix it sooner.”

  “Bull crap.”

  He stared at her long and hard, as if finally realizing that walking in as if he owned the place wasn’t working. She waited patiently to see what tactic he’d use next.

  Too quickly to be believed, his cocky demeanor disappeared. Looking dejected, he crumpled on the couch. “What do I have to do to convince you I’ve changed?”

  Mandy eyed him suspiciously, wondering if this was the second act, but she could physically feel the change in the room—his fear, his worry, his pain, all palpable to her senses. Wasn’t that one of the things that had drawn her to him? She could almost feel him inside of her, as if his emotions were an extension of her own. And since he’d always been confident and full of life, when in his presence, she had, also. Maybe on some subconscious level, he knew that, and he was trying to give her what he thought she wanted—a confident Ty.

  But she’d changed over the last year. After staring down death, her priorities had shifted. She no longer desired to be defined by a man, consumed by his whims, his personality. What she wanted was an equal partnership, and she doubted Ty could ever give her that, even if he had changed.

  “You can’t convince me that you’re different, Ty. That’s why you should leave.”

  “I’m going to a counselor.”

  She eyed him wearily. “You’re serious?”

  He nodded and stared at his hands, seeming too embarrassed to hold her gaze.

  “Why?” she asked.

  His shoulders slumped. “You… and my dad.”

  If he was going to a counselor, a major storm was brewing inside his fit frame. And if he was humble enough to accept help, maybe he had changed more than she realized. “You never talked about your dad before.”

  “Too painful.” He rubbed his hands down his face and sighed. “I had to go on antidepressants after his death.”

  She pushed off the loveseat, crossed the small living room, and sat on the couch armrest. “For how long?”

  “I’m still on them.”

  She stilled. That meant he’d been on meds the entire time they’d dated and kept it from her. What else did she not know about this man? “I thought the Coast Guard disqualified anyone on antidepressants.”

  “They don’t know.” He cast his eyes to the floor. “I didn’t want anyone to find out.” He swallowed so hard his Adam's apple bobbed from clavicle to chin. “When you got sick, the meds weren’t enough to keep my head on straight. I couldn’t figure out why I was losing my mind until about six months ago, when I put two and two together. It all came back to the reason I was on meds in the first place. My dad. I never dealt with his death.”

  The edges of the wound he’d inflicted on her ached. But the pain was different this time. Instead of hurting for herself, she hurt for Ty. She slid down the armrest and settled next to him, placing her hand on top of his. The familiar roughness of his golden skin made her heart throb. “How long have you been in counseling?”

  “Five months.”

  “Wow, that’s awhile.”

  “Takes time to fix something I’ve been living with for twelve years. I wanted to be completely okay with your cancer before I came to you like this but, with Justin edging his way in, I can’t afford to wait.”

  She studied him carefully, trying to gauge his sincerity. In the back of her mind, she worried that he was trying to manipulate her, but all she saw before her was a broken man who needed help. “Are you okay with the cancer?”

  “I have to be.”

  “Just because the cancer’s gone now, doesn’t mean it’s not coming back. I might be in the ground before you make a breakthrough.”

  “I’ll learn to deal with the fear.”

  “Will you? Because I haven’t, and I’ve been going through this for almost a year.”

  “I love you.” He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. His lips were warm, reminding her of the inviting touch of the ocean in August. “That has to be enough.”

  It might not be; she didn’t have the strength to comfort him if she became ill again. Dealing with her own fear was hard enough. God, why was she even entertaining those thoughts? He might love her, but she didn’t love him, at least not enough to overcome the hurt he’d caused.

  But maybe they could be friends. If he needed her support to heal from his dad’s death, she was more than willing to help him as a friend, but not as anything o
ther than that.

  She gazed into his hopeful gray eyes. Now came the hard part—figuring out how to tell him they’d never be more than friends without hurting him.

  As she was trying to put her intentions into carefully laid-out words, Ty’s gaze meandered from her hand to her face. She lost all train of thought when his eyes blazed with solid determination. He leaned toward her, his goal obvious by the hungry way he stared at her mouth.

  Oh, no! “Ty—”

  His lips pressed hard against hers. Mandy whimpered in protest as she scooted across the couch. He stalked her, never breaking his lock on her mouth. The heat in his touch warmed her, reminding her of how well they fit together, but she didn’t belong to him. While Ty pushed himself on her, all she could think of was Justin. Her back pressed against the far armrest. With nowhere left to go but up, she tried to stand.

  He grabbed the back of her neck and forced her lips open with his tongue.

  Enough!

  Mandy palmed his chest and shoved with all her might. “Stop!” She pulled away and clutched her chest, panting for breath. “You need to leave.”

  His face hardened into angular lines. “Is this about Justin?”

  Yes. “No.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Believe what you want, but you and I are over.” Mandy cringed at her words. So much for letting him down easy, but the bastard deserved it for jumping her.

  He reached out and grasped her hand. “Christ, Mandy. You’re not even giving me a chance.”

  She yanked her hand away. “I gave you three years.” She shook her head, not wanting to end it with them pissed at each other. “Listen, I don’t want to stop your progress. I want to help you through your issues over your dad, but as your friend, not your girlfriend.”

  His lips thinned into an angry slash. “Fuck friendship. We’re either together or not.”

  “Then, we’re not.”

  He stood and clenched his hands. “You’re going to regret this.”

  Mandy straightened and, though she weighed a good hundred pounds less than Ty and stood almost half a foot shorter, she stared him down, feeling stronger than she ever had in her life. “No, I don’t think I will.”