When the photographer arrives, Blair and I take about a million pics in our gowns. Blair is radiant in a fitted ivory lace gown with capped sleeves. She did good in her choice for me. My hair brushes in soft waves against the sweetheart neckline of my plum strapless gown. Wisps of chiffon swirl from the shirred princess seam skirt and brush against my black strappy heels.
At one o’clock sharp, we’re standing under the archway on the stone path leading onto the beach. From our vantage point, we can see Dean pacing nervously on the sand, but he can’t see us. Kade stands next to Dean. I can also see Keller, looking amazing in his dark blue suit and white shirt, open at the collar. He’s sitting with the rest of LP-45, along with Dean’s family and a whole bunch of famous people I haven’t met yet. Blair’s family is there too, all smiles while they wait for her to make her appearance.
Blair starts tearing up when she sees Dean.
“Don’t start crying, you’ll ruin your makeup and set me off,” I warn.
“I know, I just can’t help it. This is a dream come true for me.” Blair turns to face me. “You know, before I fell in love with Dean, I thought my dream was to be a famous pop star. Don’t get me wrong, I love my career—I love every second of it—but without Dean, it would all mean nothing. He completes the dream, you know? Now, all I want is to spend the rest of my life with him and build a family together.”
A tear slides down her cheek, and I catch it with a handkerchief without smudging her makeup. “That’s all about to come true the minute you put the poor sucker out of his misery. Just look at him out there—he’s about to make fish food.”
Blair starts laughing and squeezes me tighter. “I love you, Mads. I’m going to miss you so much when you go home.”
“Pshh, you’ll be so busy, you won’t have time to miss me,” I joke, but the fear is real.
She takes a step back. “That’ll never ever happen.”
I swat her arm playfully. “I know, I’m pretty unforgettable.” But the loneliness engulfs me as we walk down the aisle. I smile, despite how sad I feel right now; I am so damn happy for my friend.
♫
After the ceremony, I take a load of pictures with Blair, Dean, and Kade, since we’re the bridal party, and then we head to the tent in a shaded alcove for the reception. I see Keller talking with the rest of his band, and you wouldn’t even know anything happened this morning. Briefly, I wonder if he’s just good at hiding how he feels or if he feels better. I head over to the cake table to make sure everything is still looking perfect. It is and I sigh with relief.
“The cake looks incredible, Madison!”
I feel a rush of pride as I stare at the cake I created for my best friend and her now-husband. It came out much better than I imagined with the three tiers of raspberry marble decorated with lilac ribbon and sugared galaxy lilies. The dark blue flowers with their lilac centers contrast elegantly against the white fondant covering the cake.
Turning, I grin at Papaw. “Thank you. Doesn’t everything look amazing?” I gaze around at the tent that looks like the inside of a ballroom. The lilac, navy, and plum colors Blair chose all complement each other perfectly. “So she did it, huh? Your grandbaby is all married.”
“She sure did. Who would’ve thought a year ago that she’d be climbing the charts and married to a rock star?”
My gaze trails to where Blair is standing on the opposite side of the tent. Dean has his arm around her, and she’s smiling so wide I’m convinced they’ll be able to see it from the international space station. She’s surrounded by her family and the friends she’s made over the last year. Her old life and her new.
“Yeah, a lot can change in a year.”
“You know it’s going to happen for you too, Madison. You’re going to catch your dreams, no matter what they might be.”
My eyes flick over to Keller, who meets my gaze and raises his glass of whiskey to me. I swallow the lump in my throat and force a smile. “You’ll be the first to know when it does.”
“Maddie!” Blair yells from across the room. “Get over here, I want to have shots with my bestie.”
I smile as wide as I can manage without it looking fake and indicate for Blair to give me five minutes. I need to get my shit together before I ruin my best friend’s wedding.
“See you in a bit, Papaw. I better check for pit stains before I meet all the famous people.”
Papaw laughs and pecks me on the cheek. “You look lovely, Madison. Those people should be nervous about meeting you.”
I laugh and make my way across the tent.
God, I’m frustrated with myself. I don’t know why I’m being this way. I am happy for Blair—I don’t want anything different for her—but the more I see how happy she is, the more I realize how empty my life is. We grew up together, did everything together, and dreamed of our weddings and futures together. Hand in hand. Always. But now she’s achieving all her goals, and I’m not. Hell, I don’t even know what mine are. Except for the one I can’t have.
A hand grabs my arm, and I’m yanked into a hard body.
“Why the fuck did the photos take so long? You look exquisite.” Keller’s voice is gruff against my neck, but when he steps back and sees my face, he loosens his grip and concern replaces lust. “Are you okay, Maddie?”
“Yup, I’m all good.”
That did not sound convincing at all.
His lips press into my hair. “I’m sorry about this morning.”
I squeeze Keller tight. “I’m not upset about this morning.”
‘Then what is it?”
“I’m just a little overwhelmed, that’s all,” I lie. God, why are the lies coming so easily?
“Yeah, you’ve been at it nonstop putting this all together. You did good though. It all looks perfect. The cake is fucking incredible.”
For a whole three seconds, pride covers the guilt I feel over lying to Keller.
“Well, if you’re not going to come to me, I’m coming to you.” Blair interrupts us, a tray of shot glasses in her hand. “I’m married—we need to do shots!”
Shit, Blair’s right. This is the happiest day of her life, and I need to stop moping. I grab the salt shaker and hold out my hand to Keller. “Lick, please.” He shoots me a salacious smile. I know exactly what he’s thinking, and I hope he holds on to that thought for later. He does as he’s told, and I pour salt on the wet spot on my hand. Next, I grab the lime slice and place it in his mouth before reaching for the shot.
“Now that’s the way to do shots!” Blair exclaims.
I raise my hand to my lips and lick the salt off, then down the tequila before sucking the lime from Keller’s lips. Keller pulls back and removes the lime before tossing it on a nearby table and crushing his lips to mine.
I hear Blair clap her hands and giggle before I get completely lost in Keller’s kiss. The sound of my heart pounding in my ears the only thing I hear after that.
Twenty-Two – Striptease
Keller
Just when I thought Maddie couldn’t get any more fucking adorable, she gets tipsy at the wedding and amps it up a level. Right now, she’s singing in the shower, and I smile to myself. Not even the acoustics in the bathroom help with her voice, but fuck she’s adorable—even more so than she was on the very entertaining Uber ride home where she pretty much updated me on every childhood memory she had with Blair.
Watching her on the dance floor had me sporting a semi for most of the night, and now I want nothing more than to bury myself in her. But seeing her upset at the wedding shifted something in me, and even though Maddie said she was overwhelmed and wasn’t upset over this morning, I still feel like a dick and need to make up for it.
When Maddie tried to comfort me after my nightmare, it was almost as horrific as the dream itself. The two weeks of having her in my bed has pushed away some of the ghosts and filled the emptiness in my life from losing Bronson. I should have felt relief from him letting me off the hook, but fuck it—I needed to know I wa
s doing something to contribute.
I want to keep Maddie as far removed from the horrors of my past as I possibly can. She’s become my safe haven, and her wanting to talk about it is the last thing I need.
I light the last candle just as Maddie appears in the doorway of my bathroom. She stands naked in the doorframe; the booze glaze has diminished a bit, but I can see she’s still rocking her buzz.
“What’s all this?”
I smirk. “I thought I’d up my game a little?”
She raises her eyebrows. “I’m that much of a sure thing, am I?”
“I fucking hope so.”
“You’re right.” She grins. “But this time we’re playing this by my rules.”
I cock a brow. “Is that so?”
“Yup.” She pops the p and points her finger at me, swaying slightly on her feet. “Yup, I’m tired of you being all bossy in here. ‘I’m undressing you, Maddie.’ ‘Touch yourself, Maddie.’ ‘Be still, Maddie.’” She tries to mimic my voice as she wags her finger. “It stops now.”
I pull my lip into my mouth to stop myself from smiling. “You didn’t like all that?”
“I freaking loved it, but it’s not the point. The point is I’m the boss tonight. Get on the bed.”
I raise my hands in mock surrender. “Your wish is my command. Should I call you ma’am or have a safe word?”
“Jush get on the damn bed,” she slurs.
I climb up on the bed and rest my back against the pillows, an arm tucked behind my head and an amused grin on my face.
This is going to be fun.
“Take off your shirt. I want to see you.”
I lean forward and pull the shirt slowly over my head. “Better?”
She nods. “Right, stay there.”
I watch her walk to her bag. She’s not like other girls who either do the self-conscious shuffle or confident preen. Maddie is just Maddie. She doesn’t think about it. And it’s not because she’s drunk either. In the last two weeks I’ve noticed she’s completely comfortable with her body.
She digs around in her bag, frowning with her tongue peeking out from between her lips. I’m already rock fucking hard and hope whatever she’s about to do results in her riding me sooner rather than later.
She raises her phone triumphantly above her head. “Got it!”
She walks over to my music docking station, selecting a song from her playlist before sliding her phone into the base. “This is perfect for what I want to do.”
Ed Sheeran’s “Runaway” comes through my surround sound, and Maddie starts swaying to the music.
“I’m gonna shtrip for you.” She points at me, then looks down at her naked frame and frowns. “Oh wait, I don’t have clothes on.” She giggles. “How am I supposed to strip without clothes?”
I swallow a chuckle. Holy shit, she just took adorable to a whole new level. Maddie looks around the room. “Wait right there. I have a plan.”
She runs over to her suitcase. I guess I should’ve given her a drawer while she was here, but I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea.
What the right and wrong idea at this point is I don’t know anymore.
Maddie pulls on another one of the orange lacy sets I bought her, a blue plaid shirt, and the camo shorts she was wearing the day I met her. Then she rummages around the bottom of her bag and brings out black heels. She overbalances and bumps her head on the closet door.
“Ouch! Fuck!”
I sit upright. “You okay?”
She waves me off. “I’m fine. Lie back down, please.”
I comply. We’re already into the second round of the song. Maddie must’ve put it on repeat.
Planting her hands on her hips, she gives me a sloppy grin. “Alright, I’m ready.”
She looks like a fucking train wreck with her mismatched clothes, but she’s never been more beautiful. She didn’t wash the mascara off her face, and she’s sporting some serious raccoon eyes. She starts swaying her hips again, and I readjust my cock.
“No touching,” she demands.
I remove my hand and raise it in surrender.
She undoes the button of her shirt. She’s trying to be sexy, but the button gets caught in her hair. She winces as she yanks it free and throws the shirt across the room. It hits the lamp, and the lamp goes crashing to the floor.
“Fuckety fuck, I’m so sorry. I’ll buy you another one.”
She races over and her heel snags on the carpet and she crashes down next to it. I’m up off the bed before she even hits the floor, but I don’t get to her in time. Miraculously, she misses the shards of glass.
“Fuck, Maddie! Stop, you’re going to kill yourself.”
Her face crumbles and she starts crying.
Shit!
I gather her into my arms, and she sobs against my chest. “Maddie, sweets, what is it?”
“I’m going to be stuck washing dogs for the rest of my life with no friends and no family. And I can’t even strip to make money because see how that ended,” she wails.
This would be comical if Maddie wasn’t having a breakdown right now.
“Blair’s leaving me, and when she’s gone, she’ll take her family with her. And Mom’s traveling with Bob, and I’m so happy for her because she sacrificed everything for me my whole life, but what am I gonna do in the one-horse town I live in? Bake for the local retirement home for people who probably can’t even see my pretty cupcakes? Crap! Now I sound like a horrible ageist person, and I’m not. I love old people. It’s just, y’know, when you get older your body starts failing and…oh shit…” She sobs in earnest.
I stroke a hand over her damp hair. “What makes you think you’re going to lose Blair? It’s clear as fucking crystal you two are best friends. I mean, she flew you out for her wedding.”
“Yes, but she’s going to have a million Dean babies and become more famous than she is now, and they will be on the front page of every tabloid. Dean, Blair, and their beautiful family, and she’ll talk about a friend she once had in South Africa.” She draws out the word Africa while her body racks with sobs. Siting up, she notices my wet chest.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” She grabs the shirt off the floor to wipe my chest, then reaches for a tissue to wipe her nose. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I pull her back so she’s resting on my chest again.
“Do you ever get lonely?” She waves her hand. “Of course you don’t. You have such a big family and the band.” She points to the docking station where Ed is still singing about his dad or someone’s dad. “I don’t even have a dad.”
“Maddie, just because you have a family doesn’t mean you are any less lonely than anyone else.”
She doesn’t respond, and I look down to see what she’s thinking, but she’s passed out against my chest. I drag the comforter off the bed and cover her up before leaning against the mattress and closing my eyes.
You can’t be anything but lonely when you live with a vault of secrets.
I breathe in Maddie’s scent. She smells of apple shampoo and way too much tequila, but I relish it. Thoughts of her leaving to go back to South Africa crush me because while she’s been here, some of that loneliness I was just talking about has dissipated.
But it can’t last.
I can’t and won’t drag Maddie into my world. Bronson thought he was freeing me from hell when he told me never to come back. But all he did was slam the door shut and take my only hope of freedom with him. I can’t ever escape. I just have to accept my fate, and I won’t drag Maddie into this world with me.
For now though, I bask in what I can.
Twenty-Three – Changes
Maddie
An incessant buzzing permeates my sleep, and I groggily reach for my phone lying on the nightstand. I flick my gaze to Keller, who’s lying on his back, eyes closed, undisturbed by the phone. Sometime during the night he must’ve put us in bed because I swear I fell asleep (all right, passed out) on his chest on the floor. I
guess he gave me all the covers too because he’s beautifully naked. His morning wood makes me lick my lips.
A vibration tickles my hand, and I realize I got distracted. God, my head is pounding. How much did I drink at the wedding? Too much, too damn much. Memories of how I cried in Keller’s arms flood back as I hit Answer on the phone. A deep red stain of embarrassment heats my cheeks as I stare down at what I was wearing during what was supposed to be a sexy striptease, but ended up being a train wreck.
“Hello?”
My voice cracks, and my tongue is so damn dry.
“Hi, is this Madison Ross?”
“Ah, yeah, it’s me,” I whisper into the phone as I sneak out of Keller’s room, trying not to wake him. I stub my pinkie toe on Keller’s shoe. “Motherclucker!”
“Um… are you okay?”
I glance back to see if I woke Keller, but he’s still fast asleep. I close the bedroom door.
“Yes, sorry, who is this?”
“This is Chantel Prescott. I was at Dean and Blair’s wedding yesterday.”
Oh shit! “Oh hi, it was nice to meet you.” I clear my throat and try to shake the remnants of all the alcohol I consumed. My mouth feels like I licked ass all night—not that I know what ass tastes like, but I’m pretty sure it tastes like my mouth—and my brain rattles around in my head. I lean on the kitchen counter and steady myself as the nausea swirls around me.
I am never, ever, ever drinking again. I need coffee, stat!
“Is this a good time? I can always call back.”
“No, uh… I mean yes, it’s a good time… Sorry, I had a little too much to drink last night, and I’m drowning in self-loathing for my bad choices this morning.”
Fuck my life! Did I just say that?
Chantel’s laugh ripples down the line. “Aren’t we all. I’ll get straight to the point as I don’t want to keep you, but I literally cannot stop thinking about the food last night. I chatted with Blair about it, and she said they were all made from your recipes. The cupcakes were to die for.”
Drop Beat (The Heartbeat Series Book 2) Page 14