Almost Like Being in Love

by Beth K. Vogt

  “I beg your pardon?” Kade’s question held a note of barely contained laughter. “You had something else planned for us? Background music, perhaps? A prepared script?”

  “Oh, stop. I’m not complaining . . . not really.”

  “Well, I’m relieved to hear that.”

  “It’s just that everyone told me—”

  “Everyone?”

  “Margo, to be specific. Anyway, she told me that I needed to prove to you how much I loved you since I left you the first time without any explanation . . .”

  “And just how were you going to prove your love for me?” Kade’s boyish grin appeared. “Fight a duel? Slay a dragon?”

  “Now you’re being absurd.” Caron tried to push her way out of Kade’s embrace.

  “Oh, no you don’t. Now that I’ve got you right where I want you, you’re not going anywhere.” Kade’s arms tightened around her. “I’ve never had a woman prove her love for me before. Aren’t you going to tell me what you were going to do?”

  “I was going to—” Caron’s voice dropped to a whisper. “—ask you to marry me.”

  “Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I have certain plans of my own—” Kade released her and dropped to one knee on the sand. “—and I intend to ask you first.”

  “What . . . what are you doing?”

  “I told you—I’m proposing. Give me a minute.” Kade worked something loose from the pocket of his white cotton shirt. “This always goes more smoothly in those romance movies you like to watch.”

  “Kade—”

  “Hush. Like I said, you missed your opportunity.” The laughter faded from his eyes as he took her hand again and pressed a kiss near her wrist. While looking up at her, he held out a ring, the diamond glinting in the sunlight. He then slipped the ring halfway on her finger. “Caron Hollister, will you marry me?”

  “Yes. And yes. And yes.” Her hand trembled as he slid the ring in place on her finger, the white-gold band adorned with a heart-shaped diamond.

  “You told me once that the man who loved you would know the kind of engagement ring you’d want.” Huskiness tinged Kade’s words as he rose to his feet again, slipping his arms around her. “I thank God that you love me. That I have the chance to love you for always—and this ring symbolizes the love I have for you.”

  Caron rested her hand against his chest. “It’s beautiful . . . perfect.”

  “So you’re satisfied, then?”

  “More than satisfied.” She hoped the love she saw lighting Kade’s eyes was reflected in her own. “And how I feel right now has nothing to do with this ring—perfect as it is—and everything to do with you.”

  As Kade bent his head to kiss her, a soft thank you whispered from her lips.

  He paused, a slight smile twisting his lips. “What are you thanking me for?”

  “I wasn’t thanking you—I was thanking God for bringing you back to me . . . for answering my prayers . . . for all of this . . .”

  “I’m thankful for all that, too—and that I can kiss you again.”

  “Anytime you want to, Mr. Webster.”

  Her words produced Kade’s grin again. “I like the sound of that.”

  FORTY-THREE

  For the first time in her life, Caron was going to have an honest conversation with her father.

  Of course, it might destroy whatever tenuous relationship there was left between them . . . but then again, maybe honesty would be the beginning of something better. Something real.

  Kade refused to let go of her hand. “Are you sure I can’t go with you?”

  “Positive.” She stepped into the shelter of his embrace, even though she knew her mother was watching them. “I need to do this on my own.”

  “But this is our decision—”

  She rested her hand against his chest, his heart beating steady and strong beneath her palm. “Yes, it is. But my dad needs to hear it from me first. Just me. You not going in there with me isn’t about you being a coward. It’s about me being brave.”

  “You’d best go on.” Her mother’s soft voice interrupted them. “We have dinner in an hour with Nancy Miller.”

  “I don’t think this will take long.” Caron stepped away from Kade. “And no matter what happens, you and I are getting married, Kade Webster.”

  He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “No doubt about that.”

  “Pray for me?”

  Her mother nodded. “We both will.”

  Leaning into those prayers, Caron whispered a few intercessions of her own as she approached her father’s office. For calmness. For strength. For the right words. For courage.

  “Dad?” Caron waited for her father to acknowledge her presence. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

  His glasses sat halfway down his nose. “I’m just finishing up a few things before your mother and I meet Nancy Miller and her boyfriend for dinner.”

  “I know. Mom told me that you had plans tonight.” Caron moved to stand behind the chair set just to the left of his desk. “So, can I talk with you?”

  He flipped shut the folder in his hands and set it aside. “Sit down.”

  She’d take that as a yes.

  Words, Lord. Give me the right words. Please.

  As she settled into the chair, she swiped her hands down the front of her linen capris, stopping when the diamond in her engagement ring sparkled in the overhead light. She covered her left hand with her right. No need for that to catch her father’s eye before the conversation even started.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “I’ve made a decision and I wanted to tell you about it.”

  “Does any of this have to do with your plans for future employment?”

  “No. I’m still considering my options.” Caron exhaled a silent breath and straightened her shoulders.

  “You walked away from a perfectly good job not once, but twice.”

  Caron sucked in a breath, steadying herself. “The truth is, I should have stopped working for you a long time ago. Maybe it would have been better for both of us if I never worked for you in the first place.”

  Her father snorted, pushing away from his desk. In the past, that action would have been enough to make her reevaluate what she’d said. Leading her to question what she’d done—what she was doing with her life.

  She could do this. Kade and her mother were praying for her. And this was her only opportunity to try to explain herself to her father.

  “Do you know I’ve spent most of my life waiting for your approval?” She paused, clenching her hands together, willing her voice not to shake. “I played basketball in high school because you loved basketball and I knew . . . at least I hoped you’d come to some of my games.”

  “You were a good basketball player.”

  Now he told her that.

  “Just because I was good doesn’t mean I should have played basketball—not if my heart wasn’t in it. And not if I was doing it to get your attention. And the truth is, I would have rather gone out for tennis. Or track. But I played basketball for four years—mostly for you.” Her father sat still, making it impossible to gauge his reaction. “And I became a Realtor because you were a Realtor and I thought maybe, just maybe, you’d finally be proud of me.”

  “I am proud of you, Caron. You were one of my best Realtors—”

  The words she’d always longed to hear from her father were as effective as the spray from a garden hose that had been knotted off near the faucet. Forced and ineffective.

  “Don’t say it, Dad. Not now that I’m sitting here telling you what I needed to hear all these years. And being proud of how I helped your business reputation isn’t the same thing as being proud of me . . . just me. Besides, I’ve been wrong to stake all my hopes and dreams on your approval.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean, young lady?”

  “I gave you too much power. You’re my father. What I needed from you was your love. Your acceptance. Your support of me, no matter what I did
or didn’t do. Instead, I didn’t even stop and ask myself what my dreams were. I just followed in your footsteps, like your shadow, and lived out your dream, hoping it would be enough to get you to notice me.”

  Her father leaned back in his chair. “You’re no longer working for me, and you’ve told me you don’t intend to come back, so why are you telling me all this?”

  Her father’s words threatened to shut down the entire purpose of this conversation. She’d fought to find the courage to continue talking with him. She’d questioned who she was—who she thought she had to be. She still wasn’t walking on solid ground. Some days the truth wavered, toppling over like the Jenga block game she and Logan used to spend hours playing as kids. And then she had to rebuild the truth all over again, wooden block by block.

  “I’m not blaming you for this, Dad. I’m an adult and I want to take responsibility for my life and decisions.”

  “Meaning?”

  She’d start with the simplest thing first. “What I was trying to say before was that I’m considering a job change. I never really thought about—or prayed about—my career. Now I am. I may be a Realtor. Or I might become a home stager. I may even go back to school. I don’t know. No matter what, it will be my choice.”

  “Why do I get the idea that there’s more to this sudden life transformation than a possible job change?”

  Was this what a boxer felt like going in for another round against his opponent? She tried to regain focus and summon up the strength to do battle again.

  “I told you and Mom that Alex and I broke up.” Caron sat up straighter. “I’m happy. He’s happy. You should never marry someone because it’s easy. Or to please your parents.”

  “You two are perfect for each other.”

  “No, Dad, we’re not. We’re friends. Our families are close. But that’s it.” Caron kept her voice level. “Besides, I’m in love with someone else.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I stopped dating Kade Webster two years ago because you wanted me to—and I always regretted it. I gave up a chance at love because I wanted your approval more—”

  Her father shoved his chair back. “This is nonsense. Kade Webster is the last man I would ever let you marry.”

  “Dad, this is not about you letting me marry someone. You don’t get to decide.” Her diamond ring dug into the palm of her clenched fist. “Kade proposed, and I accepted. I want you to be happy for me, but I don’t need your approval. Kade and I love each other and we’re planning on getting married as soon as we can—”

  “I won’t spend a dime on a wedding for you to marry that man, Caron Amelia!”

  She couldn’t hold back a laugh. “The funny thing is, Dad, you won’t have to. I won a wedding—a one-of-a-kind wedding in Colorado. I want you and Mom there. I . . . I can’t imagine you not being there. But I have to follow my heart now.”

  “Follow your heart—more like making a fool of yourself.”

  “That’s enough now, Russell.” Her mother spoke from behind her.

  “Do you know what our daughter wants to do?”

  “Yes, I do. And I support her.” Her mother rested her hands on Caron’s shoulder. “And you should, too. Caron’s pursuing her dreams. I’m proud of her.”

  “Quitting her job with me, breaking up with Alex Madison, working for Kade Webster, and now she wants to marry him? And you’re fine with all this?”

  “Yes, she has to make her own decisions.”

  “I won’t attend the wedding—”

  “That’s your decision, sir.” Now Kade appeared, coming to stand beside Caron as she rose from the chair, slipping his hand around hers. “I know Caron would want you at the ceremony, and I would hope that despite our differences, you could put that aside and be a part of your daughter’s wedding—”

  “Kade, I told you that I needed to do this—” Caron dropped her voice to a whisper even as she clung to his hand.

  “And I was fine with that until things started sounding tense in here. I want your father to know we’re in this together.”

  “It seems to me a lot of decisions have been made.” Her father stood. “Well, I’m making the decision to end this conversation and go get ready for our dinner date.”

  Once her father left the room, her mother pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay.”

  “Okay?” Caron brushed away the tears she couldn’t keep from falling. “That was awful.”

  “You just shifted the dynamic of your relationship with your father—again. First you stop working with him. A very wise choice, even if it was sudden. Then you tell him you no longer need his approval. Also a wise choice. But your father doesn’t know how to handle all of this. Give him time.”

  “What if he refuses to come to the wedding?”

  “You and Kade haven’t even scheduled a date yet. We have time to talk this out more.” Her mother smoothed Caron’s hair back from her face. “And to pray.”

  “You’re right.” Caron tried to focus on the positive.

  “He’s a stubborn man, dealing with his own heart issues. I believe he’ll come around.” Her mother rested her hands on Caron’s shoulders. “So what now?”

  “I guess we have some plans to make.”

  “Wedding dress shopping?”

  Caron couldn’t hold back a laugh. “I knew that would be the first thing on your list.”

  • • •

  “It’s a good thing I never spent a lot of time daydreaming about my wedding day.” Caron leaned into Kade’s embrace, inhaling the scent of the Gulf breeze as they walked along the beach. The setting sun’s rays lingered across the waves as the tide receded from the sand dunes covered with sea grass.

  “You mean you weren’t one of those teen girls who tore photos of wedding gowns and engagement rings out of bridal magazines?”

  “No, I never was that girl. I was more likely to be browsing Better Homes and Gardens or House Beautiful.” Caron closed her eyes, allowing the stillness of the evening to wrap around them. “However, it should make it easy when I shop for a wedding gown, right? No preconceived ideas of what I want to wear. I can try them all on and just see which one is ‘it.’ ”

  “And when are you going wedding dress shopping?”

  “My mother wants to start right away, but we probably need to set a wedding date first.”

  “And we should decide that before I head back to Colorado tomorrow.”

  Caron stopped, wrapping her arms around him. “Do you have to go?”

  “I am the boss, remember?”

  “I remember.” She stole a quick kiss. “I quite enjoyed working for you, Mr. Webster.”

  “Enough to work for me again?”

  “Are you looking for a home stager?” Caron could barely keep the laughter out of her voice.

  “I came here intending to propose. But if I go back knowing I’ve also expanded my business . . . well, I won’t complain.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t come out here just to talk me into working for you?”

  Kade pulled her into his arms, his kiss leaving both of them breathless.

  “Now that I’ve made it clear my proposal had nothing to do with business—”

  “You certainly did.”

  “When do you want to get married?”

  “We’ve already lost two years. And winning a destination wedding makes this whole plan-a-wedding thing pretty easy. I’d like to call the Peaks and see what their earliest available dates are for us to use my prize package.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “Because it’s a destination wedding, it will be a smaller guest list. Hopefully easier to accommodate.” Caron slipped from Kade’s arms, reclaiming his hand as she resumed their walk. “I only hope my mom will convince my dad to come.”

  “Caron, a few weeks ago, we never imagined we’d be getting married, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So don’t let what your father does or doesn’t do ruin our wedding d
ay. We’ll tell him that we want him there. Then we’ll pray—and let him make his decision.”

  “I guess that’s all we can do, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. We’re making our choices. And he’ll make his.”

  “But what if—”

  “Stop.” Kade pressed his fingertips against her lips. “We stay focused on today. Just today. Yes, we’re planning a wedding, but we don’t know what will happen the day of the wedding until the day gets here. And first we have to choose the day.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I take it back.”

  “You take what back?”

  “We do know one thing that will happen on our wedding day.”

  “What’s that?”

  “No matter what else does or doesn’t happen—you and I are getting married.”

  FORTY-FOUR

  SEPTEMBER

  Caron welcomed the splendid imperfection of her wedding day.

  The gray clouds covering the San Juan Mountains threatened rain—a threat they’d made good on for the past two days. A misty rain rolled in for several hours and then disappeared. Afterward, the clouds parted, allowing the sunlight to hit the golden aspens scattered along the mountains, causing them to shimmer.

  “This is one of those who-would-have-imagined-it kind of days, isn’t it?” Caron’s fingertips smoothed the sheer white material of the neckline of her wedding gown that transitioned into delicate Venice lace. The layers of tulle in the tea-length skirt spread out around her as she sat in a chair beside a window.

  “Ye-es.” Vanessa tucked a tiny spray of baby’s breath into Caron’s updo.

  “I mean, I’m actually using that dream-come-true destination wedding I won at the bridal expo back in May.”

  “I know. And to think you kept telling Margo you wanted to give it back.”

  “And I’m marrying Kade.”

  “And you look stunning.” Her sister-in-law added another small spray of flowers to Caron’s hair.

  “It’s so beautiful here—I don’t care if the sun is shining or not. If you’d asked me to list where I wanted to get married before, I don’t think Telluride would have been anywhere on the list. But I love how rustic and romantic it is.”