Star of Silver Spires

by Ann Bryant

  Maybe I’d be able to distract Mrs. Roach. Wouldn’t it be great if it turned out that she was really pleased with me, and wanted to listen to my composition for Saturday. Then we could waste loads of time talking about the Star contest.

  “Come in, Mia,” she beamed, when I knocked. “Gemma Wright was away so I’ve had a gap. Pity you couldn’t have taken her lesson as well as your own! I’m so looking forward to hearing how you got on with the Debussy.”

  I groaned inside and my lovely talking-about-the-Star-contest castle in the air came tumbling to the ground. This was going to be a terrible piano lesson, just as I’d thought. Maybe I ought to pretend I’d been ill. Yes, that would be best. Otherwise I had the feeling that Mrs. Roach would be really cross.

  “Right, let’s start with those scales,” she went on brightly, as I unpacked my bag and sat down.

  There was a tap on the door and Mr. Wagstaffe popped his head in. I think he teaches sax. He’s another young teacher, like Mr. Ray, and he’s got long hair and wears his shirt hanging out. I noticed Mrs. Roach frowning at him, then raising her eyebrows, but she didn’t say anything.

  “Sorry to disturb you, Mrs. Roach. Do you have a spare pencil by any chance? Or a sharpener? You’d think there’d be a few knocking about somewhere in a music department this size wouldn’t you, but—”

  He had to break off his bright chatter because Mrs. Roach was holding out a pencil that she’d whipped out of her bag in about two seconds flat. Mr. Wagstaffe looked a bit taken aback and I felt sorry for him. He’d only asked for a pencil, after all. I gulped. If a teacher interrupting her to borrow a pencil could make her as impatient as this, goodness knew what was going to happen when it turned out that her scholarship pupil had hardly practised all week, for the second time in a row. Well, at least not the kind of practice that she approved of.

  As soon as Mr. Wagstaffe had gone, Mrs. Roach spoke through tight lips. “Right, let’s get down to business. E flat melodic minor.”

  I played it without a single mistake and felt pleased that everything was all right so far.

  “Good. And sticking to that key, E flat minor in contrary motion.”

  I managed that one without any mistakes too.

  “Good, you’ve really got the pattern into your fingers now. Just a little more emphasis on the accents and don’t lose speed at the outsides. Try it again.”

  We spent about five minutes on scales and Mrs. Roach taught me a new arpeggio pattern too.

  “Well done, Mia. You’ve picked that up beautifully!”

  I smiled shakily and hoped that my good scales and arpeggios might count against the bad stuff that was coming next.

  “Okay, let’s get down to the Debussy!” She rubbed her hands and looked really excited. “If I know you, you’ve thrown yourself into it, right?”

  I swallowed. “Er, actually, I’ve not been very well this week, Mrs. Roach, so…”

  “Oh dear! What’s been the matter?” She was looking carefully into my eyes and I felt myself going a bit pink because it felt as though she could tell I was lying.

  “Well…I’ve had a cold, only it was quite bad. I’ve not really had the energy to practise more than my scales…”

  She frowned. “Really? Oh dear! Didn’t you have that pop song competition at the weekend? Did you have to drop out?”

  “Er, well, I didn’t get my cold till Sunday, luckily!” I smiled nervously at her, but she didn’t smile back.

  “You seem all right now.”

  “Yes, well, nearly.”

  Mrs. Roach didn’t look convinced and I felt my mouth going dry with worry, but when she spoke again she sounded softer and I felt relieved that it looked as though she was letting me off this once. “Oh dear, so how much time have you put into the Debussy?”

  “Not really very much. I can play the first page…”

  She nodded and tried to smile, but I could tell she was still a bit annoyed. I’d never told a lie to Mrs. Roach before, and I felt guilty and ashamed for having to tell one now. But then I felt cross again, because it wasn’t fair that she didn’t think music was important unless it was classical. I looked at her with her bright eyes, and heard Georgie’s voice in my mind.

  Tell the truth, Mia. Say you’ve got to prioritize. Make her realize that you’re broadening your horizons.

  But somehow, I couldn’t.

  I just about got through the first page of the Debussy but I wasn’t very proud of the way I played it, and when I’d finished Mrs. Roach was clearly disappointed.

  “You have been under the weather, haven’t you!” was her first comment. There was a pause after that, then she must have decided not to waste another single second. “Right, let’s get to work. First of all, pedal. I know you haven’t learned the notes, but there’s no excuse for poor pedalling…”

  “You said what?”

  Georgie was pretending to be cross with me, but actually she might have been genuinely disappointed.

  “I said I’d been ill. It was just…easier, Georgie.”

  “Hmm,” was all Georgie said. But then she gave me a hug. “Sometimes I despair of you, Mia Roberts.”

  I grinned, because I could tell she was enjoying acting the part of a fond mother.

  “Sometimes, I despair of myself!” I told her truthfully. “I’m getting all nervous about Saturday again now. I was wondering what I can wear for a start. I don’t have any clothes that’ll look right, and I can’t wear Katy’s top again.”

  “We’ll ask Katy,” said Georgie, flapping her hand as though that was nothing. “Now come on, let’s get over to the dining room. I’m starving.”

  The build-up to the final rounds of the competition was just as bad as for the first round, and by the time Saturday evening came I felt sick again. The only thing that helped was remembering that after tonight the whole thing would be over. The seven remaining acts were to be voted down to three in the first half, and then after the interval, the overall winner would be decided on.

  “You look stunning,” said Naomi, her head tipped to one side as she looked at me. “You really do.”

  “Yes, you do,” Grace agreed, smiling at me and nodding to show she really meant it.

  “You ought to play your song to the others, Mia,” said Georgie. “I know I keep going on about it, but it’ll get a bit of nervousness out of you.”

  “Yes, please play it for us, Mia,” said Jess.

  The six of us were in the dorm, getting ready for the show. All my friends were so excited. They’d spent ages changing into their coolest clothes and doing their hair, just as though we were all going out to a posh restaurant or something. And all over Silver Spires there was a buzz in the air. Everywhere you went you could hear people talking about the Star contest, and making bets about who would get through.

  “Go on, Mia,” said Katy and Naomi at the same time.

  “Georgie’s right,” Naomi added. “You’ll feel more confident once you’ve tried it out in front of a mini audience.”

  In the end they persuaded me to sing it for them, so we all trooped off to a practice room. My friends stood behind me, apart from Georgie, who stood at the side, and when I finished playing and singing I realized with a shock that I’d actually forgotten they were in the room with me. I really had lost myself in the song.

  Katy was the first one to speak. “Oh wow, Mia. You’re really amazing, you know! Your voice is so much stronger than last week.” Then every one of them gave me compliments.

  “You see, I was right, wasn’t I?” said Georgie, doing her fond-mother act again. “I bet you’re not so nervous now, are you?”

  I grinned at her and had to admit I felt much better. But as soon as we started walking over to the theatre, the butterflies were back in their swarms. And by the time we were inside the theatre building, the swarms were swirling madly.

  “It looks as though everyone’s got here early to get the best seats,” said Georgie, glancing into the auditorium. “We might not even
manage to sit together this time.”

  It was such a little thing, but it scared me ridiculously. I wanted my friends to be in a group so that I could imagine them when I went onstage, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to see them because of the lights.

  When I pushed the door to the green room open I felt as though all my energy had left me. I was suddenly faced with loads of cool, super-trendy outfits and I just felt like a little girl again. Katy and Jess had promised me I looked nice up in the dorm in front of the mirror, and I’d even dared to think it myself. The two of them had covered one of my plain tops with sequins and bits of glittery material. It was so kind of them, because it had taken ages, but they’d insisted on doing it themselves, and kept on making jokes about how professional performers weren’t allowed to sink so low as to do their own costumes. I was wearing a pair of plain black trousers on my bottom half, with a pair of Katy’s black shoes. My outfit was finished off with a beautiful, wide, black and white belt, also Katy’s.

  “Hiya, Mia!” came a bright voice as I hovered by the door. It was someone from the Year Nine band, Demonstrate. None of the girls from that band had said anything to me when I was in the green room last time, and I think they’d probably still despised me then because of Mr. Ray sending them out of the theatre when I’d been practising in the afternoon. But now that I’d got through that first round, I must have earned their respect, and that brought a bit more confidence back to me.

  “All right, Mia?” said Bella, catching my eye from across the room. She beckoned me over to her and my stomach muscles tightened instantly as my mind flashed straight to my dad and his music and my fear that she’d cheated.

  “Hi. Here we go again!” I was trying to sound laid-back, but I knew my voice was a bit shaky.

  “What are you singing tonight, Bella?” asked one of the twins from Twins Plus One, her eyes big and round.

  “Oh, just something I’ve called ‘Fairy-Tale Ending’,” said Bella, looking down.

  “Wow! I bet it’s amazing,” said the other twin. “Where do you get your inspiration from? I mean, how do you actually go about writing your songs? Because we managed the first one okay, but we’re not sure if our second one is any good.”

  I was glad she’d asked that question, and my heart started racing as I wondered how Bella would answer. She looked up at the ceiling for ages and then shrugged slowly and turned her palms over as though it was a mystery. “I guess it just comes,” she finally said softly. “I suppose I kind of fiddle about and wait for it to happen, you know!”

  By this time quite a few more people had formed a little group around Bella, but she didn’t look at anyone as she talked, so she didn’t seem like she was showing off. “It doesn’t always work. Sometimes I feel my creativity is blocked and I know there’s not even any point in trying to compose at those times. But, then at other times, it just kind of pours out of me!”

  You paint a golden circle round your dreams to keep them safe inside…

  I closed my eyes for a second to try to make those words go away. I didn’t want to hear them, now of all times. I needed to concentrate on my own song at the moment. And anyway, there was still a chance I’d been mistaken. I listened to the twins praising Bella, and I looked at her outfit. Tonight she looked even more fantastic than the last time. You couldn’t help staring at her, because she was so stunning. She’d twisted her hair in a knot on the top of her head and pushed a silver slide into it, which seemed to be all that was keeping it in place. Her dress was made of green velvet that swirled out at the bottom, and her shoes were dark green and very pointy. I just knew that Katy would love the whole outfit.

  “Ooh, beautiful dress, Bella!” said Miss York, coming over at that moment. “Is everyone happy over here? Yes?” She smiled round at us all. “All warmed up?”

  I nodded and the others said they were as warmed up as they’d ever be, and things like that, so Miss York stood on a chair and clapped her hands for quiet.

  “Well, here we are again, girls!” she began, which made a few people chuckle. “Now, the order of events for this evening is – listen carefully – Eve first, then The Craze, followed by Mia, then Twins Plus One, Bella, Contemporary Counterpoint and finally, Demonstrate.” Miss York threw a special smile out to us all. “And then there’ll be the voting to eliminate four of those acts.” I glanced at Bella and she must have sensed my eyes on her because she immediately flashed a smile in my direction. “After a short interval,” went on Miss York, “we’ll move to the second part of the evening, in which the three remaining acts will sing again.”

  “But we weren’t supposed to prepare another song, were we?” asked one of the Demonstrate girls, her eyes filling with panic.

  “No, no,” Miss York reassured her. “If you get through to the final round you can either sing the same song again or, if you prefer, you can sing your song from the first round. And then finally a winner will be found!”

  The girls from the bands immediately turned to one another and started talking in whispers about which song they’d sing if they got through, while Eve, Bella and I just stood there. Eve and Bella looked as though they were concentrating hard, but the only thing I was concentrating on was flexing my fingers to warm them up. There was no point at all in thinking which song I would sing in the final, because there was simply no way I’d get through.

  I didn’t feel depressed at that thought though, because when I first joined Silver Spires, I never thought in a million years that I’d be able to sing solo and play a song I’d written in front of a huge audience without dying a thousand deaths. In fact, I didn’t think I’d be able to do it even a few weeks ago. This competition had changed so much for me. Now that I knew I could go out and perform, I truly felt like a real musician, and that made me so happy. I was determined to play in school concerts at every opportunity from now on. And not only that, but I would also work hard at the classical music for my lessons, as well as writing more songs and playing pop music in my free time.

  I was sitting on a high cloud looking up and down and all around at my lovely musical life.

  Chapter Nine

  Walking into the auditorium this second time was not half so scary as the first time. My heart was still racing, but a part of me actually wanted to get onto the stage, and that was a totally new feeling for me.

  Georgie and the others gave me huge two-armed waves from where they were sitting. Their seats were much further back this time, but at least they were all together. As I went to join them, I noticed that there were even more teachers in the audience than there had been last Saturday. My eyes ran along the back three rows, where they were all sitting, and I spotted a few of the visiting music teachers amongst the others, including Mr. Wagstaffe. He caught my eye and gave me a little kind of salute, along with a big grin. I wondered if he thought it was strange that Mrs. Roach wasn’t there to see me perform. It gave me a sinking feeling thinking about that. She’d made it perfectly clear what she thought about this trivial, fun concert.

  “What number are you? When do you sing?” Georgie asked me urgently.

  “I’m third,” I replied, sucking my lips nervously and feeling myself tense up again.

  “Don’t do that,” hissed Katy, pretending to be cross as she whipped out a lipgloss from her bag and passed it along to me.

  The atmosphere in the auditorium was even more electric than the last time and you could tell that everyone was dying for the show to start. When the curtains opened and Miss York appeared, the most ginormous cheer went up.

  “I think we’re in for an incredibly exciting evening,” she began. Then she rushed straight on to announce that Eve was first up, which set off another wave of clapping and cheering.

  Eve went to the piano and adjusted the microphone slightly, then told us that her song was called ‘Hidden Codes’. The last few shufflings and murmurings of the audience melted into silence and she began to sing.

  I really loved her song. It was as quiet and g
entle as my “goodbye” song, and I felt a rush of anxiety that maybe I was wrong to be attempting something more upbeat when I wasn’t really that kind of person.

  Or was I? It was weird, but when I sang now I somehow did feel like a different person from the old me. I’d noticed the change happening gradually during the last week. Even when I’d sung in front of Georgie and the others, I hadn’t held back. And they’d said they liked it, hadn’t they? In my mind I rewound back to the little practice room at Hazeldean and tried to remember the exact look on my friends’ faces, because now I was worrying that they might have just been being kind.

  I could feel my mouth getting dry, so I told myself to stop thinking about anything except the here and now and to try to enjoy Eve’s song. Her piano-playing was brilliant. She’s such a talented musician and the music she’d written for the accompaniment was really complicated.

  Georgie whispered to me afterwards that she thought there should have been less piano and more singing and I immediately started worrying about the very opposite thing – maybe I should have had a piano solo in the middle of my own song, like Eve had done. Well, it was too late now.

  The Craze’s song was quite similar to the one they’d done before, but everyone clearly loved it, which got me all anxious for the tenth time that I shouldn’t have changed my style, because if people voted for you it must be because they liked your original style. I sighed and sucked the shine off my lips again.

  When my name was announced I don’t know how I managed to get myself on the stage, I was in such a state. But somehow I did, and then I felt an idiot for having such a babyish title as ‘My Best Friend and Me’, especially when I heard some older girls murmur, “Aah, sweet!”