Bad For Me

by J. B. Leigh

  “Really?” He did the little snort thing again. “I wouldn’t have had you down as a football fan. Which team do you support?”

  Julie walked into the living room, and gave me a puzzled look. She knew I had slightly less than zero interest in football.

  “Arsenal.” They were one of only two teams I’d heard of.

  “A Gunner eh?”

  Why had I said I was interested in football when I knew nothing about it? What the hell was a Gunner?

  “Come on JJ. We’re going to be late.” Julie came to my rescue.

  “Are you sure you won’t come with us?” He touched my bare arm again—this time I was certain it was deliberate.

  “No thanks.” I moved my arm away.

  “See you later, Megs,” Julie shouted.

  “Bye, Megan,“ JJ said. “I'll see if I can organise tickets for the next game at the Emirates.”

  At least he'd used my proper name. What was the Emirates anyway?

  I'd just run a bath, and was about to treat myself to a long hot soak, and a packet of chocolate digestives when my phone rang.

  “Megan?”

  “Billy? What’s up?”

  Billy is my brother; he’s two years older than me, although you would never think it. One of the reasons I got a place of my own was because I was sick of running around after him and my mum. I was doing all the cooking, cleaning and washing. Billy never used to raise a finger, and my mum...? Mum’s had her problems—drink problems. It started when my dad walked out on us. I was only twelve at the time. He left us for another woman, according to Mum. I hadn’t seen him since. He did telephone at Christmas for a couple of years, but then he stopped.

  “It’s Mum.” Billy sounded out of breath.

  “What about her?”

  “The usual.”

  “What do you expect me to do?”

  “She’ll listen to you, Megan. She takes no notice of me.”

  “I was just going to have a bath.”

  “Please, Megan. Come around and talk to her.”

  “Shit. Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” An already crap day had just got worse.

  ********************

  “You took your time.” Billy greeted me at the door. He had always been an ungrateful pig.

  “I had to wait for the bus.”

  “You should've taken a taxi.”

  “How am I meant to afford taxis? Where's Mum?”

  “In the lounge.”

  The hall carpet looked as though it hadn’t been vacuumed in a month. I could smell the alcohol as soon as I walked through to the lounge. Mum was flat out in her favourite armchair.

  “Mum! Wake up!”

  “Megan,” she slurred. “What are you doing here?” She managed to open one eye.

  “Mum, you need to wake up.”

  “I'm awake.” Both of her eyes were open now. “What’s up?”

  “You know what’s up. Why have you been drinking?”

  “I ain’t.”

  “I can smell it.”

  “I ain’t been drinking,” she shouted. “I’ve got a cold that’s all. It’s my medicine you can smell.”

  “Whisky flavour is it?”

  Between the two of us, me and Billy managed to get Mum upstairs and onto the bed. Billy left me to get her undressed and into her nightie.

  “Where did she get the drink?”

  Billy shrugged.

  “She didn’t get as drunk as that in five minutes; you must have seen her.”

  “I’ve been out. She was like that when I got back.”

  “I really thought she was going to make it this time,” I said.

  “The only time she’ll give it up is when she's six feet under.”

  “If she carries on like this, that won’t be too long.”

  ********************

  Four hours later than I'd planned, I was just about to climb into a hot, bubble bath when I remembered the chocolate digestives. Damnity damn. A bath isn’t a bath without a chocolate digestive or ten. Or is that just me? I wrapped myself in a towel, and walked over to the kitchen. I always kept my chocolate digestives in the top cupboard. Julie knew better than to raid them, but just to be safe I always put them on the top shelf. Julie was a bit of a short arse; she couldn’t reach them there.

  Shit! I was just about to walk out of the kitchen when I heard their voices. Julie and JJ were back from the theatre. I'd been sure they would go for a drink or a meal after the show. I wasn’t about to walk through the lounge wearing only a towel—not while JJ was there. I hoped he was just dropping Julie off, and would be gone in a few minutes.

  The kitchen door opened.

  “Megan? A little overdressed aren’t we?” JJ had a huge smirk on his face. I could feel the heat of his gaze as he quickly looked me up and down. I knew I was blushing, but I tried to brazen it out.

  “I was taking a bath.”

  “I didn’t realise you kept the bath in the kitchen.” He laughed at his own joke. “How very novel.”

  “I was fetching the biscuits.” I hitched up the towel which was in danger of sliding off my breasts.

  “Eating biscuits in the bath? Classy.”

  I edged back when he began to walk towards me.

  “I like the look of those.” He was staring straight at my cleavage. “Do you mind if I have one?”

  Before I could speak, he had taken a biscuit from the packet I was holding in front of me. His hand was only inches from my breasts. My heart was thumping so hard I felt sure he must be able to hear it.

  “What’s going on in here?” Julie appeared in the doorway. “Megs, what...?”

  “She’s taking a bath in the kitchen, of course.” JJ laughed.

  I’d had enough, so I pushed past them both. I could still hear them laughing as I closed the bathroom door.

  As I was soaking in the bath, chocolate digestive in hand, my mind insisted on conjuring up images of JJ. His hand had been so close to my breasts; I'd almost felt his touch. Damn my imagination—what was it trying to do to me? So what if he was hot? The guy was a tool of the first order.

  Chapter 4

  “Come on Megs. Pleeaaasee. Just for me.” Julie begged.

  “You know it’s not my scene.”

  “It’s my birthday. You have to come.”

  “It was your birthday two weeks ago.”

  “That was my real birthday. This is my official one.”

  “Like the Queen?”

  “Yeah—she nicked the idea off me.”

  Julie had been trying all day to persuade me to go out with her. I'd put her off because she insisted she wanted to go clubbing. I hated clubs—I hated everything about them. They're noisy, sweaty and full of drunken idiots. All in all, they are my idea of hell.

  “I hate clubbing.”

  “It’s only one night. Please!”

  “Will JJ be there?” I definitely wasn't going if ‘Mr full of himself’ was going to be there.

  “No. JJ hates clubs too.”

  At least we had something in common.

  “Promise?”

  “Cross my heart.”

  “Okay. But I'm not staying too late though.”

  “Great!!! Thanks Megs.” Julie threw her arms around me.

  My wardrobe was pretty basic. I liked to pretend it was because I was picky and only bought quality. The truth was that I was broke most of the time. I decided to recycle the outfit I’d bought for our Christmas night out. What a disaster that had been, but that’s another story. The black dress was an inch shorter than I would have liked and revealed more cleavage than I usually showed (which was none).

  Julie had decided she wanted to try Dandy's—a new club that had only opened a few weeks before. The club might have been new, but it was the same as every other club I'd ever visited. I was counting the minutes until I could sneak away. Julie had bumped into a couple of her friends. The three of them had been throwing back shots for over an hour, so I figured it wouldn’t be long
before I could leave without her noticing.

  “You're looking hot tonight, Megan.”

  Why did my heart race whenever I heard his voice? What the hell was wrong with me? I was going to kill Julie. She'd promised JJ wouldn’t be at the club. His smile made me want to thump him and kiss him in equal measure.

  “Thanks.” I decided I should be polite for Julie’s sake.

  “Do you want to dance?” He flashed that same old smile.

  “No thanks.”

  “Don't you dance?”

  “Not with you I don't.” So much for being polite—he brought the worst out of me.

  “Ouch. What’s wrong with me?”

  “So many things.”

  “You really know how to make a guy feel special.”

  “What are you doing here anyway? Julie said you hated clubs.”

  “So, you’ve been asking about me—that’s nice. Am I beginning to wear you down?”

  “I wasn’t asking about you.” This man's arrogance knew no bounds.

  “Don't worry. It's perfectly understandable that you should find me irresistible.”

  “I can resist you just fine thanks.”

  “Julie's right. I do hate clubs. I only came tonight, so I could see you again.”

  Before I could react, Julie staggered over and stood between us. “I need a drink.”

  “Looks like you've had enough,” JJ said.

  “Don't be daft,” Julie slurred. “Buy me a G and T.”

  “I'm not buying you anything else to drink,” he said.

  “You're a spoilsport. I'll get my own.”

  “Julie... ” JJ grabbed her arm.

  “Fuck off JJ. I've not seen you in like forever. You can't tell me what to do. I'm not a kid.”

  Julie shook off his hand, and staggered away.

  “She's changed,” JJ said. “Do you two often go out together?”

  “Occasionally.”

  “And do you always let her get hammered?”

  “Hold on. Julie's a big girl. She makes her own decisions.”

  “Bad decisions since she has been in that flat.”

  “Since I moved in with her you mean?”

  “I don't want her drinking like this.”

  “Why are you telling me? Tell Julie. Maybe if you hadn't disappeared for a year you could have kept a better eye on your baby sister.”

  “What are you two arguing about?” Julie had returned.

  “Nothing,” I snapped.

  “You've had enough to drink.” JJ was in Julie's face. “I'm taking you back to my place.”

  “I'm not leaving. I'm having fun. Remember fun JJ? You used to be fun—what happened? Did you have a fun lobitom, liboti...?”

  “Lobotomy?” I suggested.

  “Yeah—what she said. I'm staying here, and then I'm going home with my bestest friend in all the world.” She put her arm around my waist.

  JJ shook his head; his face was red with rage, but he wasn't looking at Julie. His anger appeared to be directed at me.

  “Your brother is a fucking idiot!” I said after he'd disappeared out of the club.

  “I'll drink to that.”

  Chapter 5

  “There must be something you can do.” I was mightily pissed off.

  Mr Jackson, the senior tutor on my course, had pulled me to one side after the last lesson of the day. As part of the course, students were required to do a two week placement to gain practical experience. The placement was mandatory—no placement, no pass. We had been assigned to our respective employers almost a month before, and were due to start in just under a week’s time. I'd booked time off from the coffee bar. Mr Jackson had just told me that D&R Engineering, the company where I was scheduled to do my placement, had gone into liquidation. That left me, and two other students, without a placement. Mr Jackson said he might still be able to arrange for me to go somewhere else, but that it might not be for the same two weeks. That was just great. I’d had enough trouble arranging time off—there was no guarantee the coffee shop would allow me to swap my weeks.

  “I’m sorry, Megan. I’ll do what I can,” Mr Jackson said.

  “Fanbloodytastic.”

  “You look like you’ve just lost a fiver.” A voice from behind me said.

  Great—it was Dan Mason—just what I needed.

  “What’s up, Megan? Are you missing me?”

  “Sod off, Dan.” At that moment, I needed him like I needed a hole in the head.

  “Why don’t I take you for a coffee, and you can tell me all about it?”

  Dan Mason was on the same course as me. A few months back, he'd asked me out. I was kind of flattered, and was going to say yes. That was until, later that same day, I'd caught him pinning Lizzy Whelan to the wall behind the lockers.

  “I’d rather chew glass than go anywhere with you.”

  “I’ll take that as a maybe.” He laughed and walked away.

  I had a talent for attracting losers.

  ********************

  As soon as I walked into the flat, I saw the cake—a large bun really—with a single candle. A word had been iced in red onto the white icing—'SORRY'.

  Julie stepped out of her bedroom. She'd been in bed when I'd left that morning. I couldn't imagine what kind of hangover she must have woken up with.

  “Sorry,” she said rather sheepishly.

  “What for?”

  “Last night. I shouldn't have dragged you to Dandy's.”

  “Forget it. Just don't ask me to go to any more clubs with you.”

  “I won't. Cross my heart.”

  “The cake's a bit over the top isn't it. An apology would've done.”

  “I didn't buy it.” She stepped aside.

  “I bought the cake,” JJ said.

  “What are you doing here?” I spat the words.

  “I owe you an apology.”

  “I don't want your apologies.”

  “JJ didn't... ”Julie began.

  “Keep out of this Julie. This is between me and your brother.”

  “I shouldn't have said the things I did,” JJ said. “I realise now that none of that was your fault. I didn't know about your mum...”

  I turned my glare onto Julie.

  “You told him about my mum? You've got no right to... Oh, you know what? Forget it! You can both keep your fucking cake!”

  Neither of them followed me into my bedroom—they had that much sense at least.

  ********************

  “Megs? Are you asleep?” Julie asked.

  “What?” I had been asleep until she spoke. I felt her sit on the bed. My back was to her.

  “We're both really sorry.”

  “Is JJ still here?”

  “No. He left ages ago. You've been asleep for hours.”

  “You shouldn't have told him about my mum.”

  “I know, but it was the only way I could convince him that you weren't a bad influence on me.”

  “Me? A bad influence on you? That’s rich.”

  “I know.” Julie sniggered. “I told him it was the other way around. I had to make him understand that you'd never drink. That's why I mentioned your mum.”

  “I wish you hadn't.”

  “I'm sorry. I don’t want us to fall out over this.”

  For a moment I thought Julie was about to cry.

  “It’s okay.” I pulled myself up into a sitting position. “I’m not mad with you.”

  “Friends?”

  “Friends.” We hugged. How could I stay angry at her? She looked like a scolded puppy. “Just one thing.”

  “Anything.”

  “Warn me the next time your brother is coming over. I don’t want to be here.”

  “Okay. He’s not really so bad though.”

  “He’s worse. Promise you will warn me?”

  “I promise.”

  ********************

  When I arrived home from work the next day, Julie was still in full-on grovel mode. She insisted on mak
ing a fry-up—my favourite. It was a nice, but terrifying gesture—Julie was a disaster in the kitchen.

  “What are you going to do about your placement?” Julie said, as she dropped the egg—shell and all—into the frying pan.

  “Here let me.” I nudged her away from the cooker before she set the place on fire. “I'll take it from here.”

  “Will they be able to get you a placement somewhere else?”

  “They said they'd try to organise something, but there's hardly any time. Unless they can arrange something for the same two weeks, I'm screwed. I'll never get time off. I don't want to think about it—it's too depressing. Let's talk about something else. What's happening with you? You've been walking around with a stupid smile on your face ever since I came in.”

  “Nothing.” Julie said. The smile spread across her face.

  "You’re a terrible liar. I can see you’re bursting to tell me, so you may as well get on with it.”

  “Okay.” Julie laughed. “Alan Rhodes has asked me to go out with him.

  “Is he the guy that you said you had no chance with?”

  “That’s him.”

  “So what changed?”

  It was only the previous week Julie had complained that Alan Rhodes didn't know she existed.

  “I got talking to him at lunchtime. He’s really nice.” Julie stared into the middle distance.

  “Earth to Julie.”

  “Sorry. I was on my way back to class, and he asked if I wanted to go to a party with him. Just like that—out of the blue.”

  “Whose party?”

  “I don’t know. I think he might have told me, but I was in shock.”

  “Do you remember when it is?”

  “Saturday night. What do you think I should wear?”

  Why Julie asked me about clothes was beyond me. Our tastes were so different, she might as well have asked the guy who emptied our bins, and he was the wrong side of sixty. Julie was a girly girl with her pretty dresses—I was much more comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt—the night out at Dandy's had been the first time I'd worn a dress since Christmas (same dress!). It didn’t matter anyway because she wasn’t listening to a word I said—she was on planet Alan Rhodes.