Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1)

by Aimie Grey

  “That would be me. Why are you here? You’re her boyfriend, so you know she isn’t here tonight.”

  “What makes you think I’m her boyfriend?”

  “After you finished banging her, I found her blowing chunks in the bathroom. Once she finished, she told me that you wanted to be exclusive.”

  Fuck, I am an asshole. I needed to change the subject. “Do you know who hurt her?”

  “No. I heard it was someone who works here—or I should say worked here. Rumor has it Bruce found out and fired him on the spot. I haven’t been able to figure out who it is because a few of the guys haven’t been around lately.” Her jaw was clenched. She obviously cared about Madison. I bet she would be more than happy to help me kill the motherfucker.

  I found a scrap of paper and wrote down my number. “Will you call me if you find out who did it? Even if it’s just a rumor?” I was glad to have an ally in my hunt for revenge.

  “Sure, but only if you promise me the same thing.” She pulled out her cell, added my number, and then went back into the building. A few seconds later, my phone vibrated with a text that simply said: Lisa.

  I decided I needed to go inside after all. “I need to see the manager,” I told the half-naked hostess. “Don’t worry; he’ll want to hear what I have to say.” I slipped her a fifty-dollar bill.

  “Follow me,” she said with a seductive smile intended for my bank account.

  I followed her down a dimly lit back hallway. She knocked on an open office door. “Bruce, there’s someone here who needs to talk to you.” She put her hand on my arm to keep me from entering. “You should stick around. I’ll be available for a private show in about an hour.” I was relieved she didn’t wait for a response.

  “Hey, I remember you. Madison is on vacation for a couple of weeks. Can I interest you in another girl?” Bruce had a huge smile on his face and dollar signs in his eyes.

  “No, that’s not why I’m here.” I felt my face tighten. “You’re going to tell me who hurt Madison, and then you’re going to clean up her blood out back.”

  “My lawyer said I can’t talk about it. I like Madison, but I could lose everything if I violate the non-disclosure agreement we signed.”

  “You let the bastard get away with it?” I grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted the large man from his chair.

  “I fired him. Then he threatened to expose what happens in the back rooms. Says he has evidence, including stuff Madison did. I agreed not to tell anyone about what he did to her if he keeps his big mouth shut. If the truth got out, Madison could get arrested for solicitation.”

  “Fuck!” I shoved him back into his chair with enough force that his head slammed into the wall behind him. I couldn’t let Madison get arrested, but I couldn’t let this guy live without consequences, either.

  “Fine, I’ll figure it out on my own.” I wasn’t done; he had something else I wanted. “I want you to fire Madison. When she calls to get back on the schedule, you’re going to tell her you’ve replaced her or something.”

  “You’ve got to be shitting me. She’s a huge moneymaker.”

  “You’ll do it if you want to live.”

  I stormed out of his office and headed to the parking lot. My phone buzzed as soon as I got back into my car.

  Peyton: Night night. I miss you!

  My anger instantly faded. I typed a quick reply.

  Me: Good night, sweet dreams.

  I pulled away from the club and headed to Madison’s house, grateful that Ethan’s car wasn’t in sight. I sat outside until all of the lights were out, and then let myself into the house using the key Finn had accidentally taken along with the keys to her car. She was sound asleep when I climbed into bed with her, and I left in the early morning before she woke up.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Madison

  By Friday morning, I was going stir-crazy. Ethan and Sawyer were at work, and Peyton was at school. I’d read four novels since I’d been off of work and was starting on the fifth. When I wasn’t reading, I was thinking about Sawyer.

  The doorbell startled me. After setting my library book on the end table next to the recliner, I strolled to the front door.

  I squinted to look through the peephole. I should have guessed it would be the tiny woman who routinely starred in my nightmares: Hailey Fox. One of the popular girls who made my school life a living hell and the social worker assigned to my custody case.

  Every strand of her over-processed blonde hair was plastered to her scalp before coming together in a headache-inducing bun. “I thought you’d be at work today,” she said. “I was surprised when the hospital told me you had taken the week off.” She narrowed her eyes and pursed her thin lips. “Any particular reason why?”

  “I just needed a break.”

  She slammed into my injured shoulder as she marched past me into the house. I contorted my face to keep a scream from escaping.

  “I went to the school on Wednesday.” She strutted around the living room in three-inch pumps and casually ran a fingertip along the back of the couch as she passed by. “Peyton has a rather large bruise on her arm.”

  I strained the muscles around my eyes to keep them from travelling in an upward circle. “Kids get bruises. It’s their job.”

  “I asked her what happened—she said it was Mr. Ramsay’s fault.” She smoothed her pencil skirt as she perched on the edge of my couch.

  “She was joking. She fell while they were playing basketball after school a few days ago. She blames him because she’s a sore loser. Don’t you think I would call the police if someone hurt Peyton?”

  “I find it hard to believe she got that severe of an injury from a simple fall, and so will a judge. It’s my job to err on the side of caution. Your personal relationship with Mr. Ramsay calls your judgment and credibility into question.” The gleam in her icy blue stare seemed out of place, and I had no idea how she found out about Sawyer and me. “You are to cease all contact with Sawyer Ramsay outside of school, or I will be forced to file a police report.”

  “She’s not being abused. I wouldn’t protect anyone who laid a finger on her.” Sawyer would never hurt a child. “If you’re so worried about her, why is it okay for him to be around her at school?”

  “There are other adults at school to monitor their interactions. If I file the report, Sawyer will be charged with child abuse and you will be charged with child endangerment for putting her in an unsafe situation after being warned. Peyton will be removed from your care and placed in a foster home.”

  “I will not let you take Peyton to a foster home. None of this is true.” I’d run away with her before I’d let that happen. “Sawyer will lose his job over the false accusation.” Not to mention the stigma associated with being arrested for a crime against a child.

  “If Peyton goes into foster care, we will be forced to file paperwork to terminate Olivia Miller’s parental rights, so that Peyton can be put up for adoption. Mrs. Miller’s been gone much longer than originally approved.”

  “There has to be a way to prove this whole thing is a misunderstanding,” I pleaded.

  “I will be back on Monday to re-interview your neighbors as well as his. I’ll also talk to the parents of the other kids in Peyton’s class. I’ll be forced to file the report if anyone sees the two of you together. I’ll also be monitoring your phone records and internet activity.”

  “This is ridiculous.”

  “I know about your job in the city. I have a witness statement that says you are involved in prostitution and that Mr. Ramsay paid for your services. I will have to include that information in the report, which will lead to additional criminal charges for both of you. Between that and the abuse charges, he would be facing at least a decade in prison. You might get only five years or so.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “It’s my job, and I take it very seriously.”

  “So, you’re saying that if I stop seeing Sawyer outside of school, you�
�ll forget about all of this? No reports will be filed, no one will be arrested, Peyton will not be taken away, and Olivia’s parental rights will remain intact?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll talk to Sawyer tonight and let him know what’s going on.”

  “N-no.” Her eyes jerked to mine, and the color drained from her face. “You can’t. All contact must cease immediately.”

  “How am I supposed to keep him from showing up here if I don’t say anything?”

  Her eyes darted around the room. “You can send him one text. If I find out you’ve told him about this conversation, I will be forced to file the report.”

  “Doesn’t he have a right to know about this accusation? How is he supposed to defend himself?”

  “No. If you tell him, it will jeopardize this and any future investigation. Go ahead and send the text. You have thirty seconds.” She brought her watch into view with dramatic flair.

  My fingers raced across the phone. He deserved more than a one-line text, even if I couldn’t tell him the truth.

  Me: Meet me where it all began. 7:30 tonight.

  His reply came fifteen seconds later.

  Sawyer: I’ll be there.

  I deleted both messages. “Done. Now get out of my house.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Sawyer

  I’d been hard since I received Madison’s text asking me to meet her at our hotel. Even though I walked into the bar expecting to see the seductress I’d met last year, I didn’t miss the weary young woman clad in jeans and a t-shirt.

  She sat on the same stool she’d occupied all those months ago. She looked up when I took a seat next to her.

  “Rough day?” I asked, repeating the very first words I ever said to her.

  “You could say that,” she replied, just as she had once before. “Nice shirt. I’m surprised you remembered.”

  “I remember every detail about that night.” I was pleased that she also remembered what I’d worn.

  “You’d better be careful. Some might consider that romantic.”

  “That doesn’t matter because we know where we stand. What are you drinking?”

  “Water. Peyton really missed you last night,” she said quietly.

  “I missed her, too—a lot, which is weird since I spent all day with her at school. I guess I’ve gotten used to being with you guys.” I signaled for the bartender and ordered a beer for myself. “Did you miss me?”

  “Yes, although Ethan was much better behaved without you around.” Her rounded shoulders and quiet tone were disconcerting.

  I leaned in and guided my lips to hers. “I missed you, too,” I murmured against her soft mouth. “It was nearly impossible to stay away yesterday,” I whispered between gentle kisses. “Text Ethan and tell him to stay home this weekend.”

  She pulled away suddenly at the mention of her ex’s name. “We need to talk.”

  “Not now.” I deepened the kiss, not relenting until she responded in kind. “I stopped at the front desk on my way in and got our room.” I slipped the keycard from my back pocket and held it out for her to take.

  “We can’t do this. I need to tell you something.”

  “Later. Please.” I knew what was coming; I could see the guilt in her eyes. I didn’t want to hear the words from her lips. I needed to convince her that her body belonged to me until I decided I was done with it.

  I threw some money on the bar and took her hand. “Come on, let’s go have some fun. We can talk after.”

  Unlike last time, she kept her distance in the elevator. “I still have the panties you gave me that night,” I said to break the tension.

  “I don’t know what to think about that,” she said with a small smile of satisfaction.

  “I think you like it. I think you like it a lot, in fact.”

  “Where do you keep them?”

  “I have them hanging on my bedpost. Even though I was angry, those panties provided many nights of inspiration, if you know what I mean.”

  “They didn’t scare off your lady friends?”

  “I’ve never had a woman in my room, doubt I ever will. Too personal.”

  “Good to know,” she muttered.

  We rode in silence the rest of the way up. I took her warm hand in mine as we made our way down the hall to the room.

  I reached behind my neck and pulled my shirt over my head as soon as I crossed the threshold. I turned to her and ran my hands up her still-clothed body and stopped when I reached her breasts. I cradled their heavy weight in my hands and ran my thumbs over the tips.

  She sucked in a quick breath. “You probably won’t want to do this after I tell you what I need to say.” She bit her lip and stared at my chest. She was teetering on the edge of doing what she thought was right and doing me.

  “That’s exactly why you shouldn’t tell me right now.” I slowly inched the hem of the bright blue shirt up her torso.

  “You’re going to regret this,” she breathed.

  Future Sawyer could deal with the regret. I had convinced her to give in to desire, and right now there was only one thing I needed to know. “Did you use a condom the last time you fucked him?” I couldn’t say his name out loud. I didn’t want a barrier between us, but I would if the alternative was swapping fluids with Ethan.

  The question in her eyes confirmed my worst fear. “Yes,” she said on a long exhale.

  I laid a trail of small kisses along the curve of her neck. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good. The medicine kicked in so my ribs and shoulder don’t hurt anymore.”

  “That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” I took her hands and pulled her over to the bed. “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered once she was pressed up against me. I kept a firm grasp on her tiny waist with one hand. I got lost in the depths of her bottomless eyes and ran my fingers through her long, silky hair. “I could look at you for days without blinking.”

  She softened into my chest. “I bet you say that to all the girls.” There was something completely off with her statement. The words themselves could be taken as flirty banter, but the way she said them came out differently, almost as if she was stating a fact that saddened her.

  “First time ever,” I assured.

  “Good,” she said with a new wave of impatience as she reached for my fly. She pulled my belt from the loops and threw it across the room.

  “I wish we could spend a whole weekend in bed together. I would lick every inch of your gorgeous body while you talk dirty to me in Spanish. Then we could fuck in every position imaginable.” I lowered my head and kissed her with the intense need I felt for her, savoring the feeling of her full lips moving with mine.

  I finished undressing both of us and slowly slid inside her. Her body molded to mine as I gently rocked my hips. I focused on the softness of her curves beneath me and the intense pleasure I felt every time I was inside of her. I pushed away all thoughts of what she had done with Ethan less than twenty-four hours earlier.

  “Open your eyes,” I whispered softly in her ear. This time, it wasn’t about making sure she knew who was inside her. I needed her to see what she did to me, how she made me feel. I needed her to forget about Ethan.

  *

  “I need to know how you feel about me,” she said while staring at the ceiling after our simultaneous mind-blowing orgasms.

  “What do you want me to say? We’ve only been messing around for a week. I made my intentions clear from the beginning.” It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I had promised I wouldn’t lead her on.

  “I want the truth, no matter what it is.”

  “I like spending time with you, and I like spending time inside of you.”

  “Is that all?”

  “Yes.” That was all I could give her. She rolled onto her side to face away from me. “I’ve already given you more than I ever thought I could. What more do you want from me?”

  “I don’t want anything from you. I can’t see you anymore.”


  “Why did you ask how I felt about you if you were planning to dump me?” What kind of game was she playing?

  “I just wanted to see if I needed to let you down gently.” Something was off.

  “You fucked Ethan last night, didn’t you?” No reason to beat around the bush.

  “What? No!” Relief coursed through my veins. She pushed herself up on her good arm. “I can’t believe you think I would sleep with two guys at the same time.” Her face fell, and her eyes drifted away from mine. “I guess that shows how little we really know each other.”

  “If this isn’t about Ethan, then what is it about?”

  “I’m just done. We’ve had some fun, and now it’s time to move on.”

  “Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?” I wouldn’t accept her decision until I heard the complete truth. “There’s something else going on in that pretty little head of yours.”

  “It’s too hard,” she said on a stuttered breath.

  “It doesn’t have to be. What’s so difficult about casual fucking?” It was incredibly simple in my mind. “I—” She leaned over and placed a finger to my lips to shut me up. Just like old times.

  “You’re going to break my heart. I don’t know how or when, but I can’t get over the feeling that it’s inevitable.” I wished she wasn’t right. “How can I go into something knowing it’s destined to fail? How am I supposed to keep my sanity never knowing if today is the day you decide to move on to your next conquest?”

  “Please give our arrangement a chance. I realize you want things that I can’t give you. I won’t promise you children or marriage or forever.” Just saying the words out loud was hard enough. “What I can promise is that I’ll do everything in my power to make you and Peyton happy while we’re together. Why can’t we just have fun for a while? What happened to the girl I met in this hotel last year?”

  “She doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe she never did.”

  “If we go into it knowing we’re just friends who like to fuck each other and will eventually part ways, then it won’t be a failure. We don’t have to get messy emotions involved,” I reasoned. “There has to be a way to make this work.” I just needed a little more time to come up with a plan to convince her. “Didn’t you say you didn’t have time for a relationship anyway?”