Sugar and Spice

by Jean Ure

  “I’ve got to hang out with someone,” I said. “If it weren’t for Shay, I’d be on my own!”

  “She’s got you right where she wants you,” said Millie. “She’s only gotta call and you go running!”

  We didn’t actually have a bust-up, cos I just hate, hate, HATE quarrelling with people, but the telephone call became very frosty, so that I could almost hear the ice crackling as we talked. And now she wasn’t just not speaking to me, she wasn’t even looking at me any more. Mum seemed to think it was all my fault. She said, “All this talk about gangs! We had gangs at my school. It didn’t stop us being friends.”

  Mum didn’t understand, and it was no use trying to explain. She had no idea what it was like, at Krapfilled High. She said, “You’re so impressionable! You’re far too easy to manipulate. That Shay has just mesmerised you.”

  Everyone seemed to have it in for Shay and I didn’t know why. Karina sidled up to me one day, looking all sly and secretive and practically on the point of bursting with self-importance. She obviously had something she was dying to tell me, but I still remembered the early days, when she’d dripped poison in my ears, like about Mr Kirk beating his wife and Brett Thomas being on drugs, so I turned and walked away from her, hoping she’d get the message. She didn’t, of course, or if she did, she ignored it. She really was one of those people it’s impossible to snub.

  “Hey!” She poked at me, from behind. I turned, rather irritably.

  “What?”

  “D’you want to hear something?”

  I said, “Not particularly.”

  “I think you ought to,” Karina said.

  “Why?”

  “Cos you ought to. It’s something you ought to know. It’s about your friend…Shayanne.”

  I should have told her to just shut up, or go away, but I’m not very good at being rude to people. Shay used to say that I was too polite. “It won’t get you anywhere.” It is true, I think, that there are times when you have to be a bit blunt. I did try! I said, “I don’t listen to gossip,” and marched off across the playground. But with Karina you would most likely have to bash her over the head with a brick before she took any notice.

  “It’s not gossip!” She came scuttling after me, like a big spider, all eager to spit venom, or whatever spiders do. “It’s the honest truth! Did you know—” She lowered her voice to a squeak. “Your friend was chucked out of both the schools she used to go to?”

  Sniffily, pretending like mad, I said, “That’s supposed to be news?”

  Karina’s face fell. “She told you?”

  “Like you said, she’s my friend.”

  “I bet she didn’t tell you why she was chucked out!”

  I hesitated.

  “She didn’t, did she? D’you want me to?”

  I tried to say no, but I wasn’t quick enough. Karina just went rushing on.

  “She did things. I can’t tell you what things, but they were bad things. Really bad things. Now there aren’t any more posh schools that will have her, which is why she’s ended up here.”

  Karina looked at me, triumphantly. I said, “How do you know about it?”

  “Cos I do. I know things.”

  It was true, Karina did know things. She made it her business to pry into other people’s affairs and “know things” about them. She’ll probably grow up to be a professional blackmailer.

  “I just thought I ought to warn you,” she said, smugly. “I wouldn’t want you getting into trouble, or anything. Cos that’s what she does…she gets people into trouble. You think she’s all lovely and sticking up for you, but what she’s really doing is —”

  “Stop it!” I said and I stamped my foot. I was so angry! “I don’t want to hear. Shay is my friend.”

  I ran off as fast as I could. Karina’s voice came shrieking after me: “You’ll be sorry! You’re making a big mistake!”

  I tried to put out of my mind the things that Karina had told me. And the things that the girl in the shopping mall had said. And the uncomfortable feelings I’d had, once or twice. Shay was my friend and I owed her everything. I was doing my homework in the library, I was getting good marks – nearly all As! – and no one was bullying me or getting on my case. I wasn’t going to listen to malicious gossip. Cos it was gossip, no matter what Karina chose to call it. It was gossip, and it was mean.

  Sometimes, if Shay wasn’t around, or even if she was, me and Varya would smile at each other and nod, just to be friendly. We still didn’t actually talk, but I kept thinking of things that I might say to her, like “How did you get on with your maths homework last night?” or “Ugh! Yuck! Double PE this afternoon.” Unfortunately, at the last minute, I’d either get stupidly tongue-tied or a teacher would appear and bellow at everyone to “Stop that confounded racket!” But I was determined that sooner or later I would try and start up a conversation.

  It was like since meeting Shay I was getting something I’d never had before – confidence.

  Like Julia and Jenice had a go at me one morning; they took advantage of Shay not being there.

  “Look what the Geek is wearing!”

  “That is just so cool!”

  And then they both went off into these loud guffaws, like something out of a comic strip. If it had happened at the beginning of term I’d have been mortified. Well, I still was mortified to tell the truth, cos I knew I looked really stupid. My school shoes had got big holes in them and my trainers were falling to pieces, and Mum had said I’d better wear my wellies “just for today, as it’s raining”.

  She’d promised to get me some new shoes for tomorrow, but tomorrow was too late. I wished I could have stayed at home! I couldn’t, because Mum wouldn’t let me, and suddenly I just felt so angry, I turned and shouted. I shouted, “SHUT UP, you pair of blithering morons! You haven’t got a brain between you!”

  Julia said, “Ooh, blithering morons!” and Jenice gave a little titter, but after that, to my huge surprise, they left me in peace. I think they were just so taken aback that I’d dared to say anything. I was, too! But it did feel good.

  One Saturday, a couple of weeks later, Shay suggested we go and have a look at the Elysian Fields, which was this huge out-of-town shopping centre that had just opened. It sounded like a really fun place, but I couldn’t think how we’d get there. Shay said no problem, she’d get her dad to take us. “The Invisible Man”, as she called him.

  “We can get the bus back, there’s one that goes all the way to my place. Then you could stay and have tea. Ask your mum!”

  Mum wasn’t all that keen, as I’d known she wouldn’t be, but she said she supposed she’d have to agree to it if that was what I really wanted.

  “But don’t you let her go buying you things! And I need you to be back no later than six. Is that understood?”

  I solemnly promised, on both counts, and Shay said she’d call round with the Invisible Man and pick me up. Mum insisted on coming all the way downstairs, “just to make sure”. When I said, “Make sure of what?” she muttered something about “Seeing you off”. I knew that really she was just curious about Shay’s dad. I was quite curious myself, and also a bit nervous, as I had no idea what he could be like.

  He was sitting at the wheel of this big red car which Mum said afterwards was a Merc, meaning Mercedes. (I don’t know anything about cars, I can’t tell one from another.) He was creamy-skinned, like Shay (“Foreign extraction,” said Mum), with glossy hair, very thick and black. He didn’t look like a dad, he looked like a movie star. I was quite in awe of him, and I think Mum was, too, as she didn’t say any of the things she’d said she was going to say, like “I’ve told Ruth she has to be home no later than six o’clock” and “Would you please make sure to give her a lift back?” All she said was, “How do you do?” and “It’s nice of you to drive them.” I didn’t say anything at all, but just slid into the back seat next to Shay.

  We drove all the way to the shopping centre in total silence. Shay looked out of the
window, her dad drove the car, and I chewed my fingernails, which is something I haven’t done since I was quite tiny. It was really weird. (I don’t mean me chewing my fingernails, I mean nobody speaking.) When we arrived, Shay and I got out, her dad said, “OK, you know how to get back,” and that was that.

  Like I said, weeeeeird!

  “He’s the quiet sort,” said Shay. “He never says much. Not unless he’s having a fight with the Vampire.”

  “They fight?” I said.

  “Yeah. Don’t yours?”

  “They sometimes have words,” I said, “but they don’t actually fight.”

  Shay seemed to think that that was rather weird. She seemed to think that all parents fought.

  “Let’s forget about them,” she said. “C’mon! Let’s go up the escalator…we’ll start at the top and work our way down.”

  Which is what we did. It was like being in an enchanted town! I reckon you could stay there all day and not get bored. It would take about two weeks to actually see everything.

  “I need a snack,” said Shay, after we’d been wandering in and out of shops and up and down escalators for a couple of hours. “Let’s go in the Chocolate Shop and have a hot chocolate. It’s all right, I’ll pay! Your mum can’t object to me just buying you something to drink.”

  In the Chocolate Shop they had real hand-made chocolates decorated with tiny rosebuds and violets. So sweet! I felt my mouth watering as I looked at them, but I didn’t have any money to buy any and I couldn’t have asked Shay. But she must have noticed me looking, cos after we’d finished our mugs of chocolate and left the shop she suddenly put her hand in her pocket and brought something out and said, “Close your eyes and open your mouth.” And when I did, she popped a chocolate into it!

  “Oh.” I munched, ecstatically.

  “Good?” said Shay.

  “Mm!”

  “Have another.”

  She had a whole packet of them! I said, “How did you —”

  “Just eat,” said Shay. “Don’t ask.”

  “But h —”

  “I took them.”

  I said, “T-took them?”

  “Took them! Helped myself.”

  She meant that she’d stolen them. That she’d shoplifted. The bottom fell out of my stomach with a great clunk. I think my mouth must have fallen open, as Shay gave one of her cackles and said, “Are you shocked?”

  I was – horribly. All of a sudden, I was thinking about my chain. And about the earrings. And the drawers full of make-up and jewellery.

  “Honestly,” said Shay, “you should see your face!” She pulled down the corners of her mouth and sucked in her cheeks. I felt like saying, “But it’s stealing.” Only I couldn’t, cos it sounded too goody-goody.

  “Stop looking so disapproving! It’s only a bit of fun. It’s like a kind of game…seeing what you can get away with. I’m pretty good at it! I can get away with almost anything.”

  She was actually boasting about it. I couldn’t believe it! Me and Millie had once gone sneaking into Woolworth’s and nicked a handful of lollipops, but that was when we were about six. Well, eight, maybe. But we’d known that it was wrong and I think we’d both been secretly a bit ashamed of ourselves. At any rate, we’d never done it again. Shay had obviously been at it for ages.

  “Oh, come on, Spice, lighten up! It’s not like I’m mugging old ladies for their life savings. I’m not hurting anyone! I never lift anything valuable. Not like real diamonds or anything. Just stuff that takes my fancy. I do it for fun. Yeah?”

  I couldn’t speak. I just didn’t know what to say.

  “C’mon!” Shay linked her arm through mine. “Let’s go and look in the music shop.”

  I didn’t enjoy the music shop. I was on tenterhooks the whole time, in case something else took Shay’s fancy and she put it in her pocket and marched out without paying.

  All the really expensive stuff, like the DVDs and full-price CDs, were in those plastic cases that have to be removed before you can leave the shop or they’ll set the alarm bells ringing. I relaxed a bit round those, cos I didn’t think even Shay would risk setting off alarm bells. But then we came to the bargain section, where they didn’t bother with plastic cases, and I started to prickle and shake all over again as I watched Shay picking up bunches of CDs and shuffling them like cards.

  “That’s a fab one.” She flashed a CD in front of me. I tried not to look, but she insisted. “Techno Freaks. They’re brilliant! They’re my favourite band.”

  “You’d better put it down,” I said. “People are watching.”

  “So what?” said Shay, but to my great relief she put the CD back with the others and said, “OK! Let’s go.”

  I’d thought once we were outside we’d be safe. Shay bought a couple of pop ices from a kiosk and we perched on a low wall, side by side, licking at them, and slowly I began to breathe a bit easier. But then Shay said, “Remember what you said the other day?”

  I said, “What was that?”

  “About wanting to give me something?” said Shay.

  I felt my blood begin to grow chill.

  “Y-yes,” I said.

  “Did you really mean it?”

  I swallowed. “Y-yes,” I said.

  “OK, so if you really mean it…if you really, really mean it…”

  I waited, in a kind of numb horror, for what she was going to say.

  “I’d like you to get me that CD!”

  I felt my face grow slowly crimson.

  “Techno Freaks. The one I showed you. Yeah?”

  “I haven’t any money,” I whispered.

  “You don’t need money! I told you, you just go in and take it…easy-peasy! I do it all the time.”

  I stood there, my heart hammering.

  “What’s the problem?” said Shay. “What are you waiting for?”

  “I…I can’t!” I said.

  “Why can’t you?”

  “I just can’t!”

  “I thought you said you really, really wanted to get me something?”

  I hung my head. My face was pulsating like a big hot tomato, but my hands were all clammy with sweat.

  “Isn’t that what you said?”

  “Yes.”

  “So why won’t you do it?”

  “B-because —”

  “Because what? Because you’re scared?”

  “Because it’s stealing!” The words finally came blurting out of me.

  “Oh! Shock horror! It’s stealing!” Shay gave a loud squawk and threw up her hands. A woman passing by turned to stare, but Shay didn’t seem to see. Or maybe she just didn’t care? “These people make millions! How’s it going to hurt them, just nicking one little CD? They probably wouldn’t even notice it had gone!”

  I couldn’t think what to say to this. All I could think was that it was wrong.

  “Do you want me to come with you,” said Shay, “and hold your hand —”

  “No! I’m not going to do it!”

  “You mean you’re not going to get me anything?”

  “Not like that,” I mumbled.

  “So how are you going to do it, then?”

  “I don’t know! I’ll…save up my pocket money, or something.”

  “Huh!”

  “I will. I promise! I’ll get you something.”

  “Not sure I want anything now.”

  “Oh, please!” I sprang after her, as she turned and began to walk away. “Shay, please!” I tugged at her sleeve. “I’ll get you something really nice, something you’ll really like. I’ll get you the CD, the one you want —”

  “It’ll be too late by then. I’ll have got it for myself, thank you very much. And I won’t bother saving up for it! Or do you mean —” She suddenly whipped round, to face me. “Do you mean you’re going to go and get it for me right now, after all?”

  I felt myself start to shake. It would’ve been so much easier to say yes! To go back into the shop and slip the CD into my pocket and have Shay
happy with me again.

  “Well?”

  “I can’t!” My voice came out in a self-pitying bleat. Shay’s face darkened.

  “So what you said was just a load of rubbish, about really, really, really wanting to get me something.”

  “It wasn’t! It wasn’t rubbish!” I felt a flicker of anger, somewhere deep inside me. “I do really, really want to get you something, but not like this!”

  “Like what?”

  “Stealing. I don’t care what you say! It’s wrong to steal and I don’t think you should to be doing it!”

  “Why not, if I enjoy it?”

  “Cos it’s beneath you,” I said.

  She stopped. “What d’you mean, it’s beneath me?”

  “It’s beneath you! It’s a mindless blob sort of thing to do!” I hadn’t known this was what I was going to say, but as soon as I’d said it I knew that it was right. “Mindless blobs go out and steal cos they can’t think of anything else to do. You’re not a mindless blob! You’re oceans better than they are.”

  “That’s what you think,” muttered Shay.

  “It’s what I know. You can do anything you want! You don’t need to go out and nick things. It’s unworthy,” I said.

  “Wow! That’s telling it like it is,” said Shay. She was trying to make a joke of it, but I could see that I’d got through to her.

  “I wish you wouldn’t do it any more,” I begged.

  I trembled a bit as I said it, cos Shay could be quite a frightening sort of person. I really hated the thought of her being cross with me, maybe even stalking off and leaving me on my own, not wanting to be friends any more. But I knew I couldn’t back down, not even if I was shaking like a leaf.

  I think Shay was quite surprised; I don’t think she’d ever imagined that I’d stand up to her. She looked at me for a moment through half-closed eyes, like she was trying to decide whether to be cold and cutting or just walk off; then suddenly she gave another of her cackles and said, “All right, then! Just for you.”