Gage

by Emilia Hartley

  “You okay?” Tom asked softly, walking over to where she sat at the base of the tree.

  She shrugged. “I guess.” She searched her mind for the words to explain how she was feeling, and could find none. “He’s… Everything’s… It’s all just a lot to unpack for me,” she finished solemnly.

  Glancing over at him, Jo asked, “You sure it’s a good idea to leave him unrestrained like that?” A faint smile tilted her lips. “I may be the one here showing mercy, but even I have limits.”

  Tom waved the thought away. “Nah. With the state he’s currently in, he could barely hurt a fly,” he calmed.

  Jo recalled the way Dan’s arm shot out to attach Tom earlier and silently disagreed. “I’ll take your word for it.” They sat in silence for a while, the wind brisk enough that Jo briefly regretted trying to be such a Good Samaritan.

  “Jo, I want you to know that all of this… all of me, and how I’ve been reacting… all that was never about you. You seem like a nice person in general, and an even better person for Nick. I was only trying to protect him.”

  Jo shook her head sadly. “Tom, how could I ever possibly hurt someone as amazing and strong as Nick?”

  He looked pointedly at her. “By dying.”

  Oh.

  “Right,” she amended softly. “It wouldn’t be too hard to do that as a human, would it?” she looked away. “That’s why you always say humans and shifters don’t mix. The danger.”

  “Right,” Tom confirmed.

  She leaned her head against the tree. “What if I decide to stay?” she asked, surprising herself. She hadn’t really thought much about her future after quitting, only that the first thing she’d wanted to do was apologize to Nick and thank him for making her stronger. But now, after what had happened between them… she’d almost lost him forever. Could she honestly still say goodbye and move on without a second thought?

  Tom chuckled, a light and easy noise in the night. “For once, I’m going to leave that up to you and Nick to decide.” He looked down at her with a faint expression of kindness on his face—the first he’d shown Jo since she met him. “You came back. You’re a human, and still you came back. That’s proof enough for me.”

  Jo’s nose wrinkled in mild confusion. “Proof? Of what?”

  “That you’re Nick’s mate,” Tom answered. “Which you know probably nothing about, so don’t worry.”

  “Could you try explaining it to me?” Jo asked. “It doesn’t have to be super in depth. I just want to know more about shifters… about Nick.”

  Tom shrugged. “It’s nothing too complicated. It basically means that you and Nick belong together. Bound for life, if you want to be dramatic. Think love at first sight, or whatever you humans call it, only it’s more, and different than love. You still have to find that on your own…” he glanced down at her, “which I’m sure you already have.”

  “Bound for life, huh?” Jo swallowed a bit, taking it all in. “What would have happened if I didn’t come back, then?” Just asking the question aloud made her heart break a little.

  “Then he wouldn’t find anyone else,” Tom answered, voice matter-of-factly, but sympathetic. “He’d be alone.”

  “Forever?” Jo asked, surprised

  “Forever.”

  “How could you be sure?” Jo probed, desperately.

  “Do you really think you’d be the first mate to deny the bond? The first to walk away?” Tom asked her. “This isn’t an easy life. Like mere humans, we have complex thoughts and emotions that interfere with instinct. Many have gone their entire lives. Mate bonds don’t discriminate, but people do. If they’re scared, or have the slightest bit of doubt, it could fester into something big enough to overcome the urge to mate… temporarily.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean… how did you feel when you finally got away from Rawlins?” Tom asked.

  “Better… and then worse,” Jo answered with a frown.

  “And in San Francisco?” he prompted.

  Jo recalled her emotions in the hotel room. “I’d thought that maybe I overreacted. And I felt really depressed that I’d decided to run away instead of face my issues head on.”

  “Ah,” Tom said. “That makes sense. And how did you feel when you decided you were going to come back to Rawlins and see Nick?” He raised an amused eyebrow. “And don’t sugarcoat it. Remember, I saw the look on your face when you stood in the office waiting for him.”

  Jo blushed, recalling the eagerness she’d had at the time, stumbling over her heels in an effort to get to Nick as quickly as she could. “Yeah the excitement just kept building. Pretty soon it was the only thing on my mind. Well, until…” Her voice trailed off as she gestured to the forest.

  Tom laughed. “See, you can’t escape the bond forever. The rightness of it. Sure, you can ignore it, but you’ll never truly be happy until you give in.”

  His smile faltered and then fell completely. “And even then, it’s not the only mate loss we know. As bears, we fight, we die, and we lose the ones we love. The high possibly of your mate dying in battle is just another fact of life for us.” He didn’t sound bitter, but it hurt Jo’s heart to see him speak of death so nonchalantly. She imagined he must’ve seen a lot of it to grow so numb. “That’s something the both of you have to be prepared for.” He looked over to her. “When a bear’s mate has died, I’ve never seen them love again. I know that’s not something you’re prepared for, no one ever is, but you deserve to know.”

  “So… my only options are to stay and love him forever and risk my humanness becoming a crutch for your pack, or run away where I’m not a burden, but always love and miss him no matter how I try to distract myself?”

  Tom nodded. “And have him love and miss you uncontrollably in return.”

  “Those are crappy options,” Jo muttered, making to bark a laugh.

  “When it comes to love, they always are.”

  The thought of being with Nick for life was exciting, and enticing, and everything she wanted, but now that she had the full picture, a small part of her understood why Tom reacted the way he did. She was human. Her life would always be one that was easier to take than theirs. If she allowed Nick to love her, she’d willingly be his greatest weakness for as long as she lived.

  Was it worth it?

  A loud roar sounded not too far from where they were sitting, but Jo wasn’t scared. It was like a part of her knew that it was Nick, her mate, calling out for her, and she found deep down that she didn’t want to be apart from him for a moment longer.

  “I guess I’m staying then.”

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Nick’s throat rattled in warning as Tom placed Dan down on the worn couch. He’s injured, he told his bear. He can’t hurt us.

  Jo looked over his shoulder worriedly. “Are you going to call a doctor?”

  Tom laughed. “And tell them what?”

  “Oh, yeah. Right,” Jo muttered, a bit of embarrassed blush tinging her cheeks.

  “No need to be embarrassed,” Nick consoled with a smile. “Who’d expect you to know?” He shot a glare at his brother. “Stop teasing.”

  Tom chuckled. “Fine, fine.” Glancing at Jo, he said, “You remember that big nasty cut Nick had on his shoulder?” he asked. “The one I’m told you dressed?”

  Jo gave Nick and Tom a confused look. “Yeah.”

  Tom clapped Nick on the back where the wound had been, hard. “Notice how I can do that without it spewing blood?”

  Nick winced. “Though it’d be much more effective a demonstration if I wasn’t injured in other ways, Tom,” he hissed through gritted teeth.

  “No pain, no gain, brother,” Tom said with a grin. “Anyway, I’m sure she gets it.” He turned back to Jo. “We heal faster than humans. Fast enough that, if you had the time, you could probably watch some of Nick’s wounds closing up right before your eyes right now.”

  “Let’s not leave out the part where the worse the wound the slower it hea
ls,” Nick added. He looked down at Dan where he lay unconscious on the couch, and felt a bit of pity for him. He’d passed out from the shock and blood loss about half way to the shop. “Dan’s the luckiest bear I know to not be dead right now. Who knows how long it’ll take for him to recover from this, or if he’ll come out of it unscathed for that matter.”

  “What he needs right now is rest,” Tom continued. “Then a good cleaning up to assess just how messed up he is, a re-setting of bones, and then I’ll cast him and let his body do the rest.”

  Jo’s jaw dropped. “You can seriously do all of that?” she asked, in awe.

  Tom shrugged, but Nick could see his slight blush in the face of Jo’s wonder. “It’s no big deal. We’ve been at this a long time. You learn things.”

  He shooed in their direction. “Anyway, I’ll see to Dan,” he assured. “I have some locks to secure the door when I leave, not that he could do anything to me in his state, but still. I’ll be safe here by myself. Why don’t you guys go on up to the cabin? Get some rest.”

  “What about your leg?” Jo asked.

  Nick watched Tom favor his injured leg a little less, feigning nonchalance. “Nothing I can’t take care of,” he replied without missing a beat. “You just go take care of you.”

  ***

  It didn’t really hit Nick that Jo was back, really back until she was in his car going back to the cabin. She’s really here, with me. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, in case it might break some crazy illusion that he’d used on himself.

  He pulled up on the cabin and heard her stifle a gasp as she took in the damage. “What happened?” she whispered.

  Nick rubbed his chin. “It was a warning,” he said, shrugging as if there was nothing more to say.

  “Nick,” Jo sighed. “I’m only going to make things worse for you, aren’t I?”

  He nodded. “But not because of the Northern Wind.” He pushed open the front door, stepping inside and offering her a hand.

  “You’ll make things worse by drinking the last of the coffee, or taking all the blankets in bed. You’ll make things worse when you eat my fries, or you ask me for fashion advice. You’ll make everything infinitely worse when you leave the room and the light you carry leaves with you. You’ll make my life worst in the best way, Jo.

  “But do you know the worst thing I could possibly imagine right now?” She shook her head, eyes filled with admiration. “It’s you, walking back out that door, and leaving for good this time. I don’t think I could survive it.” He slowly raised her hands to his lips and kissed each finger.

  “I’m sorry for running away, Nick,” she whispered, breathless and near tears.

  Nick kissed her as the first tear fell, tentative at first, but then dipping back down for more. Jo curled her fingers into the chest of his shirt, pulling him closer as his hands slid up the back of her neck and into her hair. When he pulled away, they we both gasping.

  “Don’t be sorry, Jo,” he murmured against her lips. “I just can’t believe you came back”

  “I can,” she replied, twining her hands around his neck and pressing butterfly kisses along the side of his jaw all the way down his throat.

  His bear snapped wide-awake then, urging him to step through the door she’d opened for him. “I can’t, Jo,” he growled, already willing the beast down. “It’s not safe.”

  “I’m not scared,” she whispered, her breath tickling his ear. “I didn’t know what you were before, so I could understand being apprehensive of my not knowing what I was getting myself into, but now I do, Nick I know what you are, I know who you are, and I know you’ll never hurt me and I love you for it.”

  Nick froze, stunned. “You love me?” he whispered.

  Color washed across her cheeks, a sign of how shy her confession had made her, but she smiled. “Of course I do. Can’t you tell?” she asked, almost too soft to hear.

  “How can you love someone who could lose control at any moment? The bear inside of me could tear you apart, “Nick warned. “I already hurt you once when I—”

  “Have you ever thought that your bear might know exactly what I want because I’m your mate?” Jo asked, interrupting him.

  Nick’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You know what that means?

  She shrugged. “Kinda. Tom tried explaining it to me.”

  Nick ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath in frustration. He had no idea what to do. Of course he wanted to take Jo in his arms and make her his; the thought of her loving and accepting him fully for who and what he was excited him and made him want her all the more. What if she was right? What if the bear knew all the right moves and Nick was just letting his doubt get in the way?

  What if she was wrong?

  Nick let out a long sigh, catching Jo up in his arms. “I love you too, Jo. I love you so much that it hurts to imagine being without you for even a second, but—”

  “Shhh,” she interrupted again, lips dangerously close to his. “Just love me.”

  Letting out a groan, Nick leaned down and ran his tongue across her lips and she whimpered in response. He caught the scent of her arousal, and he nipped lightly at the soft flesh of her lips, suppressing a growl. Lifting her body in his arms, he strode up the stair and into the bathroom as she locked them in another hungry kiss.

  Nick set Jo down, stealing a final kiss before he reluctantly pulled away to turn on the steamy shower water.

  Jo licked her lips, her cheeks already pink with need. I suppose you do need to clean up after all that fighting,” she purred, stepping closer to run her hands up Nick’s shirt. “His breath came out in a hiss.

  He held her hands tightly over his heart, stopping her exploration short. “You first,” he breathed.

  With a coy smile, Jo stepped away and pulled her shirt overhead. For once, Nick allowed the bear to take the lead, stepping forward in a frenzy to lay biting kisses against her neck. She moaned in shock and excitement as his hands slid down her back and into her jeans.” “No cheating!” she gasped, dragging his shirt out of the waistband of his pants.

  “Call it a draw?” he growled with a glint in his eye, tearing off all of his clothes with vigor. He helped Jo out of hers with equal enthusiasm and she squealed with delight as he pulled her into the shower.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Nick knew Jo was watching him with hungry eyes as he washed himself, letting the blood cascade down his body until the water finally ran clear. The moment he was devoid of red, her hands were all over him, trailing carefully around and gently over the cuts and bruises that he’d sustained.

  “Does it hurt,” she asked, fingers circling a large purple bruise at the side of his ribs.

  He shrugged, trying to fight past the euphoria he felt when she touched him so he could properly answer her question. “At the time, yes. Now? Sometimes. It depends on how I move.”

  “Ah, good to know,” she murmured, voice husky as her hands trailed lower. She grabbed his erect dick giving him one good stroke. No problem here, then?”

  He shuddered against her, eyes darkening. “None at all.” His hands were moving on their own, working their way over Jo’s breasts and pulling a cry from her lips.

  He froze immediately. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

  Her chest was heaving, breath frantic. “Why did you stop?”

  “I’m not—”

  “No, Nick,” she growled, pressing his hand onto her breasts again.

  Nick’s chest rattled as he tugged once more, drawing a little whimper from Jo that made him dizzy with desire. “It’s going to be hard for me to stay gentle, Jo,” his voice was husky and low the bear raring for more.

  “Maybe I don’t want you to be gentle.”

  That was all he needed to hear. With a violent shudder, Nick groaned, pressing his mouth roughly against hers. He allowed his hands to explore every part of her body, fingers sliding in and out of every crevice he could find. Jo tangled her fingers into his hair, tugging roughly as h
e kissed and bit his way down her neck. He pressed her back to the shower wall, one hand holding her in place. All at once, he drew one nipple into his mouth as he slid two, long fingers inside her.

  Jo threw her head back in ecstasy as Nick fingered her. She slid against the wall, writhing in time with his strokes. Everything about her drove him crazy, his bear roaring triumphantly as Jo’s gasps came quicker and quicker. He trailed bites down her torso, a low growl trickling from his lips. Finally, with a satisfying sigh, Nick’s lips closed around the sensitive flesh of her clit. She cried his name to the ceiling as he licked, bit, and kissed her into her first orgasm.

  She exploded around him, curling her fingers tightly in his hair as spasm after spasm rocked her. Only when she finally relaxed against the wall in complete bliss did he stand up.

  Jo’s eyes were fluttering as she held onto him to keep her footing. As she regained her breath, Nick couldn’t help but grin down at her. “I love you,” he whispered, voice low and husky as he kissed her chin.

  He could feel her heart speed up, his declaration undoubtedly rekindling the excitement within her once more. “I love you, too, Nick,” she gasped. “I love you so much.”

  Without another word, he swept her up in his arms, listing her up and using his immense strength to prop her easily against the shower wall. She instinctively coiled her legs around his waist, a small noise of surprise crawling up her throat.

  Nick’s hands held each thigh tightly against him, and he could see the way Jo reacted to his erection as it pressed roughly against her abdomen. She rolled her hips in anticipation, looping her arms around Nick’s neck and pulling him into a desperate kiss. “Please Nick, please,” she whispered, “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

  Nick trembled with a hunger only Jo could sate. The way she begged him to fuck her undid him, every time. Gazing deeply into one another’s eyes, Nick shoved the full length of him roughly into her wet center. The reaction was immediate, Jo’s eyes glazing over in overwhelming ecstasy. She leaned her head back in pure bliss, already contracting and reverberating around his cock in a way that had him struggling to concentrate. If he wasn’t careful, this would be over sooner than he wanted it to be.