Changed

by Heather Dahlgren

  When I wake up the next morning, I am fucking exhausted. The noises coming from Young’s room made it hard to sleep. Add in the fact that every time I closed my eyes I saw Kenz’s beautiful face, sleep was pretty nonexistent. I sit up and grab my phone just in case I may have missed a call or text from Kenz. Nothing. Damn it, I thought for sure I would have heard something. I drop back down onto the pillow and close my eyes. I need to figure out how to get in touch with her. I should have asked for her number last night. That’s when it hits me; Maddie is here. I jump out of bed and throw on a pair of sweat pants, then go out into the living room. Dick is sitting on the couch sipping his coffee when I get out there.

  “Morning.” I grumble and make my way to the coffee.

  “Morning. Just curious if Young always has girls over and keeps everyone up all fucking night?” he asks me and I realize he is just as exhausted as I am.

  “It’s not always that bad. Sometimes he goes to the chicks place.” I say with a laugh while I pour myself some much needed coffee.

  “Fuck me! We need to find a place that has his room as far from mine as fucking possible.” I just laugh and shake my head.

  “They come out yet or still sleeping that sexathon off?” I ask as I sit next to him on the couch.

  “Nah, Young left about a half hour ago to take her home.” He says. Well shit, this is the first time I was hoping to run into one of Young’s many conquests the next morning. Hopefully he got Maddie’s number because I am not above calling her to get ahold of Kenz.

  It is late in the afternoon when Young finally gets back. “Hey, asswipes!” he says when he walks in the door.

  “Where the hell have you been all day?” I ask because shit I need to know if he got that number. I don’t want to just blurt it out, he would never let that go.

  “I, unlike you lazy asses, have been out looking for apartments. I went to look at the one I was telling you about. It’s fucking perfect. I told them I would bring you guys by to check it out tomorrow.” He says while he plops down in the chair and puts his hands behind his head.

  “Fuck yes, let’s look at it.” Dick says.

  “We can look at it but it better not be a shithole. Anyway, I thought you were bringing Maddie home?” I try to act nonchalant as I can.

  “Nah, I called her a cab and went to get breakfast. When I was at the diner, I realized it was close to that apartment, so I went to check it out. It is only a block or so from the bar, how fucking perfect is that. It’s like it was meant to be!” he says all excited. This makes me think it’s probably a big shithole and he just likes it because it’s close to the bar.

  “Young, it better be worth looking at tomorrow. I’m going to kick your ass if it’s a shithole like the last couple. Anyway, sounded like you had a good time last night.” I say hoping that he will say he got her number.

  “That girl is kinky as fuck in bed. We had sex in so many different positions so many times I thought my dick would fall off. Speaking of dick, that girl can suck one like no one else. Last night was fucking epic!” he tells us excitedly.

  “So obviously you’re going to see each other again than, huh?” Dick says and I want to fucking hug him for asking it so I didn’t have to.

  “Nah, we decided that if we see each other out again we will hook up. Neither of us was looking for any kind of a relationship.” Young says and my heart sinks because I know that he didn’t get her number.

  Fucking asshole with his one night stands. Fuck, now I have no idea how I’m going to find Kenz. I’m actually surprised at how much it fucking hurts.

  The last couple of days have sucked for me. After I ran out on Campbell on Friday, Becca came looking for me. I was grateful for her concern, but I really did not want to have to talk about it. It’s not so much that I don’t want Maddie and Becca to know who I was in high school, it’s that I don’t want them to treat me differently. I’m not embarrassed of who I was, more like I’m embarrassed of how I was treated. It’s in the past and that is exactly where I want to keep it. It’s bad enough that the last couple of days I’ve been thinking about it nonstop, I don’t want to talk about it too. I told Becca that I just started to feel like shit and needed to get home. I’m pretty sure she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t push me and I am so thankful. What really got to me was when she handed me Campbell’s number. She said he wanted me to call him and he was glad he met me. I took the number and put it in my night stand. I know I should have just thrown it in the trash, but I just couldn’t do it.

  I’ve been comparing the Campbell from high school and the Campbell I met the other night. They seem like completely different people. High school Campbell was a complete asshole. He laughed at everything those bitchy girls said or did to me. I know that he was the one who put a picture of a dog on my locker and wrote ‘selfie’ on it. He was on the football team and hung out with all the asshole jocks and cheerleaders. The Campbell I met on Friday was nothing like that. He was flirty, funny, and smart. He wanted to have my attention and damn it I loved every second of it. Maybe, I’m being a whining baby about it all. I know people change, but I just don’t think I could talk to him again without feeling like I’m back in high school.

  I am sitting on the couch pretending to watch TV when Maddie comes bouncing in the apartment. “Hey Kenz, how was your day?” she asks as she sits next to me and lays her head on my shoulder.

  I smile because this is who I am. I don’t need to be dwelling on the past. Fuck that. It’s not like I’m going to see Campbell again, so I need to stop the pity party for one and be a fucking adult.

  “My day was fine, Maddie. What’s up? You need to talk about something?” I ask her. She lifts her head up and looks at me.

  “Nothing is wrong, Kenz. I wanted to ask you something though. Don’t get all pissy with me either. I just want to know alright?” She raises her eye brows at me daring me to disagree.

  I just nod my head because I already know it’s going to be about Campbell.

  “Alright, good. So all bullshit aside, what the fuck happened with Campbell on Friday? You guys were hitting it off and you ran out like you had seen a ghost. Why?”

  I just look at her for a minute because I really don’t want to tell her. I need to make a decision here and quick because she will know if I’m lying.

  “I think I might know him alright Maddie. I think he is just some asshole I went to high school with. I didn’t like him then and I don’t have any interest to get to know and like him now. Alright. Can we just let it go now?”

  She smiles at me and says, “See was it that hard to tell the truth? Alright, fine I’ll let it go. But I just want to remind you that people do change Kenz. He may have been an asshole in high school, but who the fuck wasn’t? All I’m saying is, if he really is someone you like and wanted to get to know better you shouldn’t let that stand in your way. That’s all I’m going to say about it. You’re a big girl, you can make your own decisions.” With that, she kisses me on the forehead and heads to her bedroom.

  I know she is right, people change. Hell I’ve changed so much that Campbell didn’t even recognize me, but I think it’s best to leave the past in the past.

  It’s been almost two weeks since my high school reminder. Becca and Maddie haven’t mentioned anything else about it since Maddie and I talked. At this point I am just letting it all go, it’s not worth even thinking about anymore. It’s Friday and instead of going out tonight, we decided we are going to do a girl’s night in. We ordered pizza, have movies and alcohol. What could be better?

  “Girls, I am just going to jump in the shower before the pizza gets here.” I tell them as I make my way to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, put my pj’s on and throw my hair up in a messy bun. I put my glasses on and make my way back to the living room. I sit on the couch and curl my feet under me. “It’s so fucking nice to just relax. I love going out, but sometimes I just love being home.” I say to them.

  “I agree. I am so drained from sc
hool this week.” Becca says. Maddie agrees.

  The pizza comes and we are stuffing our faces. We are watching “Anchorman” and laughing our asses off. Will Farrell is one funny fucker. We have seen this movie easily 100 times and it is still funny as hell. When we are finished eating and the movie is over, we sit around, getting a good buzz going.

  Maddie says, “Hey, let’s play truth or dare!”

  “What are we in middle school Maddie?” Becca says.

  And I say, “Fuck yes! Let’s do it!”

  We get comfortable on the couch and Maddie starts it, “Okay Becca, you first. Truth or dare?”

  Becca thinks for a minute before she says, “Truth.”

  “Pussy.” I say laughing at her. She sticks her tongue out at me and turns back to Maddie.

  “Alright, fine truth. Who gave you the best orgasm you’ve ever had?”

  We all laugh and Becca says, “Easy. It was that guy, Terry I went out with a few times. The only fucked up part was when I was yelling ‘Terry’ I felt like I was screaming a girl’s name.” I fall off the couch I am laughing so hard. After we compose ourselves, we hear noises in the hallway.

  “What the fuck is that?” Maddie say and jumps up off the couch to look.

  She looks through the pep hole and says, “Oh looks like we are getting new neighbors.” She comes back over and sits down.

  “Well what did they look like? Could you tell if it was a couple or just friends?”

  “Nah, I only saw the door open and boxes in the hallway. I guess we will have to wait and see.” She says.

  We play a few more rounds of truth or dare and then we hear music playing from our new neighbors. It’s my turn and Maddie asks truth or dare.

  “Dare, bitch.” I say.

  “Ok, I dare you to go over in your pj’s and introduce yourself to the new neighbors.” She says and we all are laughing. I’m pretty trashed at this point and would except any dare thrown my way.

  “Alright, no problem.” I say and get up off the couch. Maddie and Becca follow me to the door. I open the door and walk across the hall to the open door of our new neighbors. I knock on it and wait for someone to hear me. I knock again after a couple of minutes. The girls and I are laughing hysterically waiting for someone to come. I finally hear footsteps coming and turn to look at the girls to give them a thumbs-up. They stop laughing so I turn around to see why. In the second it takes me to turn around, I become completely sober.

  “Holy shit, Kenz.” Campbell says. You have to be fucking kidding me!

  I cannot believe Kenz is standing in front of me. She is in her pajamas with her hair on top of her head and glasses on, and she is still absolutely stunning. I have done nothing but think about her these last two weeks. Every day I check my phone to see if I missed a call or text from her. It has literally been driving me fucking crazy. I have gone to the bar we met at so many times looking for her that I’m becoming a regular. Young and Dick have been giving me a bunch of shit about the whole thing. Telling me to stop being a pussy and go get some. Now here she is standing in front of me and I am completely speechless. We are both just staring at each other, when she suddenly turns to make a run for it again. Fuck no, not again.

  I grab her wrist and say, “Kenz, please. Give me five minutes. Please.” I can see it on her face that she’s torn on what to do. This is a good thing because at least I know that part of her wants to see what I have to say. I’m not even sure what it is I am going to say, but I have to find out why she keeps wanting to run from me.

  Maddie comes over and whispers something in her ear, than gives her a smile and walks back over to what I assume is their apartment. I am going to fucking hug Young for this one. Picking this apartment was a brilliant idea. I look down at Kenz and she is staring at the floor. I want to touch her so fucking bad, but I have a feeling that would send her screaming in the other direction. Instead of grabbing her and smashing my mouth to hers like I want to do, I reach out with just my finger and lift her chin so she is looking up at me.

  I smile at her and say, “Please, Kenz.”

  She looks back over to her friends, then back to me, and lets out a big sigh and says, “Five minutes, Campbell. That’s all you get.” I’ll fucking take it.

  I turn and walk into the apartment praying she is following me. Before I reach my bedroom, I turn around to make sure she is and my heart skips a beat to see that she is. I open my bedroom door and wait for her to walk in then close it. There is nothing in here but a bed and I suddenly want to throw her down on it and taste every inch of her body. She turns to look at me and I can’t make out if she is sad or pissed. I’m so fucking confused.

  “Times ticking, Campbell.” She snaps and I realize she is pissed. I decide to just lay it all out.

  “Listen, Kenz. I don’t know what happened at the bar and I’m not sure what is wrong now, but I’d really like to know. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You’re smart, funny, and sexy as hell. I am so attracted to you Kenz, with your gorgeous hair and eyes. Your smile makes me weak in the knees. I am feeling all of this and I’ve only met you one time. It’s fucking unreal. I have never felt this way about anyone before. When you looked at me at the bar that first time you literally made my heart skip a beat. You stopped my fucking heart! I have done nothing for two weeks but think of you. When I close my eyes, the only thing I see is you. I really would like to get to know you and see if this can go anywhere.” I just poured my heart out and I have absolutely no idea how she is going to react to it. My heart is pounding in my chest waiting to see what she says.

  She looks up at me sadly and says, “You have no idea who I am, Campbell. No fucking idea.”

  What the fuck! Is she kidding me? I just gutted myself here and that’s her response. I’m pissed now.

  “That’s the point, Kenz. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I want to fucking know you, to learn everything about you. Why the fuck are you making it so difficult? Are you not attracted to me? Are you getting over a bad relationship? Are you just stubborn as shit? I need to know, Kenz because I can’t stop fucking thinking about you!” I getting loud and I’m so close to her now.

  We are both breathing heavily from the yelling and the sexual tension. I can feeling is radiating off her and it is such a turn on. I move even closer and I hear her take in a quick breath. I lift her chin and move a breath away from her mouth.

  I want to kiss her so fucking bad that I have to close my eyes before I whisper, “Please, Kenz. Please let me get to know you.”

  She doesn’t say anything right away but I can hear her breathing heavily so I know I am having some effect on her. I open my eyes just in time to see her wet her lips and she whispers, “Alright, Campbell.”

  I give her a grin and move my hands to cup her cheeks in my hands. Then I whisper, “I’m going to kiss you now, beautiful.” She closes her eyes so I take that as an invitation.

  I push my lips to her and I swear it is fucking heaven. Just my lips on hers, it is surreal. I lick the seam of her lips and she opens her mouth for me. When our tongues touch we both moan. It starts out slow and sweet, but I can’t help myself and I pull her as close to me as I can. Her body feels unbelievable up against mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and we deepen the kiss. We are kissing as if our lives depend on it. It is the most amazing kiss I have ever experienced before. I need to pull away because if I don’t I am not going to be able to stop myself with her. I start to pull away and she whimpers. She actually fucking whimpers at the loss of my lips and I feel the same.

  I rest my forehead against hers and she says, “Holy shit.”

  I chuckle and say, “Holy shit is right, beautiful. That was amazing.” I give her a quick peck on the lips and stand up straight. She looks over at me, smiles and I feel my heart stop. She is breathtaking. I grab her hand and pull her to sit on the bed while I sit next to her.

  “So beautiful, what do you say to dinner tomorrow night?” I see her blush and my dick s
tirs. This woman can turn me on with a fucking blush.

  She puts her head down and covers her face with her hands. Then she says, “I am so embarrassed. I look like shit right now.”

  I pull her hands down and bend to look at her and say, “Kenz, you are breathtaking right now. I love that you’re in your pajamas, it’s a fucking turn on.”

  She giggles and says, “You’re so full of shit, but thank you. And yes, I would really like to go to dinner tomorrow.”

  I smile and pull her into a hug. She wraps her arms around my neck and lays her head on my chest right above my heart. She has to hear it pounding and I don’t give a fuck. I hope she realizes what she is doing to me. We sit there and hold each other for what seems like hours. I could hold her all night and hope that I will soon.

  She finally starts to pull away and says, “Listen, I should let you get back to unpacking. I don’t want to hold you up.” Her hair is a crazy mess and I move a piece that is stick to her cheek from laying on me.

  I smile and say, “Beautiful you could never hold me up. I’m so fucking happy that you decided to give this a shot. I won’t let you regret it.” I kiss her forehead and as much as I don’t want to ask this, I know if I don’t it will continue to drive me crazy.

  “Kenz, why did you freak out that night? And why didn’t you ever call me?” She goes to put her head down again, but this time I stop her. I want to see her face.

  “I just got scared Campbell, but I think I realized that change may be possible.” I don’t push her for anything more. Everyone is entitled to their own fears.

  “Ok, beautiful. Do you still have my number?” I ask because for all I know she could have burned that shit and flushed it.

  “Yes, I still have it.” She says and I am so fucking happy she kept it.

  “Alright, so when you get back text me so I have your number too. We will figure out what we will do tomorrow in the morning. I am going to help Young and Dick with the rest of the stuff.” I say but damn I don’t want her to leave, now that’s she agreed to let me in.