Black Rose (Lewiston Blues Series/Black Family Saga Book 3)

by Scully, Felicia X.

  I push my palms against him, but he’s so caught up in what we’re doing, he doesn’t even realize. Even when I try to jerk my head back, his hand is cemented so firmly to the back of my head, I find it impossible. It isn’t until my nails bite into his chest and he flinches I finally have his attention.

  Luke pulls away, however slowly, and for a moment there’s nothing but determination reflected in his steady gaze, he licks his lips, his hand still clutching my face. But as he searches my face, my tearful eyes, my quivering lip, he releases me, taking a quick step back before fisting his hair.

  “Coco, wait!” he calls.

  But I’ve already cleared the back stairs and am rushing toward the safety of my own home, wishing with all my might, it wasn’t only next door.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Luke

  I hurry down the stairs after her, matching her pace in seconds. I’m so close I could grab her. Physically stop her in her tracks, but I think better of it. Instead, I touch her shoulder. She stops almost instantly, but she doesn’t turn around.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. But I’m not. All I can think about is doing it again.

  She’s breathing hard, her shoulders rapidly rising and falling, but I have no clue if it’s because she’s been running, or if she’s feeling every nerve-pulsing, heart-racing emotion that kind of contact with her has me grappling with. “I don’t want to leave things like this. I think we should talk.”

  “What’s to talk about? I’m just as bad as he is,” she replies, her voice so shaky I’m positive she’s about to have some kind of breakdown. “He accuses me of sleeping with you for weeks and the first chance I get I maul you like some kind of—”

  “You didn’t maul me. I kissed you. Remember?”

  She lets out a long slow breath and I touch her shoulder again, this time not letting go until she finally turns around.

  I nod toward my back porch and guide her in front of me, afraid that if I lead the way she’ll take off running again.

  Once we’re seated on the bench, I hand her my coat. She reluctantly takes it from me, draping it over the front of her body and sitting, ankles crossed and as far away from me as she can possibly get.

  It stings a little. But I get it, so I don’t bother making a big deal out of it. Instead, I scoot just a little closer, then lean forward forearms on my lap.

  We don’t say anything for a long while and I’m starting to wish I’d let her run so I could at least come up with some kind of explanation for what I just did. But even I don’t understand it. I just kissed Coco Rose. Really kissed her. And I liked it way more than I ever fucking thought I would like kissing anyone ever again. It made me feel things I never thought I’d feel again, brought everything I’ve been trying to bury since the day she fell asleep in my lap to the exterior.

  “I’m sorry I kissed you back.” My head snaps up and I notice she’s staring at me, her Hershey-toned eyes still glistening. She wipes her cheeks and takes a deep breath. “It was a bad idea.”

  I’m not entirely sure that’s true, so I don’t say anything in response.

  “You wanted to talk,” she says after a few more minutes. “So talk.”

  I sit up, stretching my legs in front of me with a forceful sigh. I clasp both hands on top of my head and stare up at the stars.

  “I always thought Shannon was the one,” I begin. “It was because of the way she made me feel. We could talk about anything. We fit that way.” Coco shifts on the bench beside me, but I don’t look over at her. I’m not sure I can until I somehow get out what I have to say. “The fucked up thing is, I’m only now realizing she’s not the only one who’s ever made me feel that way. I think I just…forgot. Or maybe back then I was just too young and dumb to know what it was.”

  It’s so quiet, I’m convinced she’s stopped breathing, so I finally lower my head and turn to face her. She’s clasping and unclasping her hands and, if it’s even possible, I’m sure she’s moved even further away from me.

  “But even though I’m feeling things I don’t want to feel and thinking things I shouldn’t be thinking, I’m still in love with her. I’m in love with Shannon and I probably always will be.”

  “I know,” she says in a small voice.

  It’s not the answer I was expecting. I guess I kind of thought it’d make her run. And even though I’m the one who called her back here, a part of me kind of hoped it would. “How do you know?” I ask after several beats.

  “Because, Luke. You’re not the same.”

  I frown and she smiles softly before continuing.

  “Growing up, I had this huge crush on your brother. Even with the braces and the zits, I thought Ross was to die for. And after he…matured every girl wanted him.”

  Unsure of what she’s getting at, I chuckle. “I remember.”

  “And I still liked him. But I liked you too. I liked you more. You were kind and reserved. You’ve always been just as handsome as him, only in a softer way. But no one ever noticed you. You were always so sweet to me too. When Cole and Ross would pick on me, you’d stand up for me. You’d invite me to play even when they didn’t want me to. You made me feel wanted. I never forgot that.”

  “You were a nice girl. Still are.”

  “You’re not as friendly as you used to be.”

  Her admission kind of shocks me. I was hardly expecting that either. “You don’t think I’m nice anymore?”

  “Not so much. Kind of bitter, really. But I get it. I know what you and Shannon had was special and I know you’re still hurting. You spend all your time inside. You drink a lot. You smoke. You hardly ever smile. You stayed away from…” She averts her gaze.

  “From what?”

  Coco clears her throat and shrugs a little. Still not looking at me, she says, “Your kids.”

  “Coco that’s not—”

  “I know it’s not my place to say anything. And I don’t think any less of you for it. Not at all. I guess lately I’ve just been thinking about how important that bond is and how some people only wish they could…” She sighs. “I’m not judging you, Luke. I’m just saying I feel your pain. I understand it. I know you miss her and I wouldn’t expect anything less. And I know that kiss was a mistake. I know you’re vulnerable—I am too. I shouldn’t have come over here like this tonight. We’re supposed to be friends and…I’m afraid if we keep this up, it’ll ruin everything.”

  I don’t even know how to respond to that. There’s more to it of course, but it’s almost like she’s missed the entire point. Like she’s only heard parts of what I’ve said and blocked out the rest.

  “Coco—”

  “She was the love of your life and you lost her before you had a chance to really know her.” She shrugs, and my jacket falls into her lap. Instead of pulling it back up, she hands it to me and sits on the very edge of the bench. “That’s how I feel about Dash.”

  I bite back a scoff. As tempted as I am to tell her it’s not nearly the same thing, I’m also not in the place to make that assumption. For all I know, she’s right.

  As if she’s reading my mind she continues. “It’s not the same, I know that. But sometimes it feels like it. We really connected over the past few years. And Dash is…well, he’s been through a lot. His mother was terrible to him. She treated him like her property rather than a son. She was borderline abusive and he lives with that everyday. He’s so closed off to other people but with me he’s always just been himself. Dash with no walls up.”

  “But I’ve seen the way he speaks to you. The other night—”

  “He was just feeling threatened. He always gets like that when it comes to other guys. He told me once he doesn’t think I deserve him. That he’s not good at the relationship stuff, but that it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel something. It broke my heart because I see a side of him that he doesn’t. He loves me and he might not be great at it, he might not even be able to tell me, but he’s learning. He doesn’t exactly have much to go on. He just has me. It
’s like he’s doing it for the first time so there are kinks that need ironing out. He just doesn’t want to lose me. Just like I don’t want to lose him.”

  “I should go inside,” I say. The words come out before I can stop them. I don’t know how they sound to her, but I know what it feels like to me. I’m jealous as hell. Pissed that after a kiss like that, a connection that I’m positive was mutual and has lasted so long, she could go and say something like that. But I guess I can’t blame her for bringing him up. I’m the one who started it.

  “Okay.” Coco gets up from the bench, casting a side long glance toward her house. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

  I nod. “Thanks for your help with my mom. The timing couldn’t have been better.”

  “How is she?”

  “Stable. Alive.”

  She smiles. “I’m glad.”

  I nod. “Tell your dad I said thanks.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Luke

  No matter how hard I try, I can’t get last night’s conversation off my mind. But it’s not a good kind of nagging in the corner of my brain. It’s the kind that makes me want to punch a hole through the wall. Between that, the swishing of my stomach and constricting in my chest I can’t even look at the plate of scrambled eggs in front of me, let alone touch them.

  “What the fuck’s your problem?” Ross asks, shoving a piece of toast into his mouth.

  “Nothing.”

  He laughs, then swigs his orange juice. “Oh, really? You just been moping around all morning, snapping at me and anyone else who even dares look your way for the fun of it?”

  “It’s the fucking morning, Ross. What, do you want me to break out into song?”

  He rolls his eyes. “You should really just get it over with, man.”

  “Get what over with? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Your little obsession with the girl next door. I heard a rumor, but I wasn’t sure I could believe it until I got back and witnessed shit for myself.”

  I get up from the table and dump my eggs in the garbage disposal. “What rumor?”

  “That you’ve been spending every waking moment together. Just like back in the day.”

  I grab a beer from the fridge and lean up against it, glowering at him. “Every waking moment? Seriously?”

  “Well not lately. The story is you had some kind of falling out. Probably has something to do with her asshole boyfriend.” Ross squeezes a pool of ketchup on top of his eggs. “The way I see it, you saw her first. Doesn’t matter how long ago it was.”

  “Where the hell are you getting your information?” I laugh, shaking my head as I pop the cap off my beer. “Let me guess, Sheila?”

  His expression shadows, but he shakes head before shoving a forkful of soggy eggs into his mouth. My stomach rolls and I avert my gaze.

  “Sheila mentioned her plan. Maya filled Cole in on the details and he may have mentioned it a time or two. Fishing for information, I guess.”

  I place my beer down on the counter and cross my arms over my chest. “What plan?”

  He smirks. “To tell you to look out for Coco and Coco to look out for you. Maya told Cole she saw you two hanging out on that back porch one night, then one of your lovely employees told her about some rendezvous in the back room at The L that had Dash pacing holes in the floor. Then last night. That kiss was like something out of a chick flick. But the ending had me a little confused. It’s not hard to figure out why you’re acting like a pissed off toddler.”

  All I can do is stare at my brother. Covered in ink and hardware and rambling like a fucking teenage girl. “You were eavesdropping?”

  “More like an innocent bystander. I was grabbing a beer. Was thinking about enjoying it outside, but I saw you shove your tongue down her throat like you’ve been waiting to do it all your life. Didn’t want to interrupt. But when she ran away like that and you ran after her, I just couldn’t look away.”

  I glare at him, biting hard on the inside of my bottom lip.

  Ross only laughs. “Seeing as there were no subtitles, you want to fill me in, baby bro?”

  “I really don’t.”

  “Come on.” He pushes his plate away and clasps his hands over his midsection. “Indulge me. Can’t be that bad.”

  “There’s nothing going on between Coco and me.” I pick up my beer and head toward the stairs.

  “Yes, there is. Always has been. Sure, you two have been on pause for about twelve or thirteen years, but there’s always been something between you and Coco Rose.”

  I turn slowly to face him, unsure of how I should even respond. What he’s saying is everything I’ve been thinking but have been afraid to acknowledge, even after coming to the same conclusion last night.

  “She’s with Dash,” I finally say.

  “And you’re still in love with your dead wife.”

  I clench my hand tightly around the bottle, coaching myself not to hurl it in his direction.

  “Feeling all kinds of guilt, I’ll bet. Kind of like I feel every time I so much as look at another girl. Only I’m actually free to do so. Sheila and I aren’t anything right now, might not be for a long while. You on the other hand…well, you and Shannon are everything. Aren’t you? Even after everything that’s happened. Even though she’s gone. Even after all this time.”

  My breaths are coming harder and faster. “Don’t want to talk about this with you.”

  “Gotta talk about it with someone. And word is you don’t have any real friends. You hole up in this shit shack night after night, you rarely step foot in the club. You drink, you smoke, you feel sorry for yourself. I guess it’s a good thing you finally gave up that chronic, because you might just be a lost cause.”

  “Seriously, Ross I—”

  “Just shut up for a second and listen, would ya? I’m not about to harp on you 24/7 I just want to say my piece. Then I’ll leave it at that. You can’t be pining after someone who’s no longer here. It’s worse than me pining after a woman I can’t have right now. Much worse. You need to let Shannon go and you need to move the fuck on. If it’s with Coco, great. If not, for the love of god, find someone. Anyone who makes you feel even a little bit better than you’ve been feeling for the past five years. ‘Cause, bro, I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore. You’re turning into a fucking loser.”

  There’s that tightening in my chest again that even an entire case of beer couldn’t loosen up.

  Ross wrinkles his brow, then rubs his forehead. “But if it is Coco you need to do something about it. Because you and I both know she deserves better than Dash Martin. The guy’s got his reasons for being the way he is, but it’ll never be a good enough reason to destroy that girl. And you know it, Luke. You know that’s exactly what he’ll do.”

  He’s right and as the realization washes over me, I slowly start to feel like myself again. The tightness in my chest subsiding, the swimming in my stomach slowing. Even if she does love him, even if we are only friends, I need to protect her from what we all know is true. Dash will eventually burn her to the ground.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Coco

  Dash helps me into my seat, then sits across the table from me—a proud grin on his face.

  “I can’t believe you brought me here,” I whisper. “And that you’re wearing that.”

  For the hundredth time, I take in just how incredible he looks all dressed up. With dark denims, a light green t-shirt that compliments his eyes and a black blazer, he looks absolutely edible. And every girl within a five mile radius is giving off the same vibe I am right now. I want to take him home. Immediately.

  “Do you like it?” he brushes his coat, then picks up the desert menu.

  “I love it,” I say. “You look amazing.”

  “And so do you.” He takes my hand, stroking the top of it with his thumb. “This isn’t usually my scene, but I figured you’d be all for it.”

  “How the hell did you get reservatio
ns on a Wednesday night?”

  His smile wavers a bit. “Your sister-in-law. I ran into her the other night.”

  “Maya just gave you a reservation? In the VIP lounge? On a couple night’s notice?”

  “Well, it took a little convincing but…”

  I slip my hand out of his and tuck my hair behind my ear. “What kind of convincing?”

  He shrugs. “She knows Luke and I aren’t on the best of terms. Guess she values my business. I bring in a shit-load of people on a Monday night.”

  I blink and nearly knock my glass of water over when I reach for it. “What does this have to do with Luke?”

  “You saw what he was like the last time we were here.”

  I take a sip of water, avoiding his gaze. Heat creeps up the back of my neck and I paint on the brightest smile I can, hoping to avoid the subject matter. “Well, this is great. The table looks beautiful.” I reach for his hand again. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

  “Figured I had some making up to do. Been rough these past few weeks. But that’s over now. I just want to patch things up. Get back on track.” His smile is so wide it makes my heart jump. When he squeezes my hand and lets it go, I glance down at my own menu.

  “I think I want to try the chocolate cheesecake trifle,” I say.

  “Too rich for my blood. Think I’ll stick with tiramisu. My mom’s is pretty badass, but I’ll give this one a run for it’s money.” He snickers. “For ten bucks it better be laced in fucking gold.”

  The lady at the table beside us who’s already had her gaze locked on Dash’s row of eyebrow rings and tattooed head, frowns and actually moves her chair over a bit. Like being near him will make her catch his foul mouth.

  I just giggle right back and close my menu. “You want to split a vanilla ice cream? Maya’s rum sauce is killer. It’s been way too long since I’ve had it.”