The Sinner Within (L.A. Sinners MC Book 1)

by J. L. Leslie

  “You want to talk about last night?” she asks me, leaning against my counter.

  She knows what happened between Lucien and me without me having to give her any details. I told her I was going to find him and not to wait on me. She is aware that I did not come home until this morning. It doesn’t take a genius to piece it together.

  Normally, I would fill her in on all of the details since she’s my best friend. I’ve never shied away from telling her about any guy I’ve ever dated, although there hasn’t been that many. But what happened with Lucien last night somehow feels different.

  “No, I’m good.”

  “You do realize that you have only answered me in two or three word sentences all day,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Can he fuck or not?”

  I choke a little on the soda I’m drinking, and she bursts out laughing. “I mean, is he one of those bikers who is built everywhere but has a small dick? I need to know!”

  I laugh along with her, shaking my head at her antics. “He doesn’t have a small dick, and that’s all I’m going to say!”

  She prods me for more details, and I keep my mouth shut, but I’m secretly enjoying this side of her. This is the old Mackenzie I’ve always enjoyed. When Gavin would come to visit, I was always happy when he brought her with him. I spent a lot of my time with her. She was my closest friend, and I’ve missed this carefree side of her.

  “I’m so glad you came back to L.A.,” she says, changing the subject as we settle back in on the sofa. “Long Beach was not your home.”

  “No, it wasn’t,” I agree.

  “And I know it will be hard for you to…you know…with Lucien, but don’t lose sight of who he really is,” she reminds me. “No matter how good he can fuck.”

  A grin breaks out on her face despite how serious her words are and she nudges my side before going back to her notes. I don’t tell her that I agree with her. It will be extremely hard for me to take his life, pretty much impossible. And I’m not sure how to tell my best friend that I can’t do it. That I’m not sure I can go through with what my club is depending on me to do.

  Instead, I pour myself into this job, pushing her words out of my head and reminding myself that when the time comes, I will put an end to Lucien McNamara. It’s what I have to do for Hell’s Fury. I will not remember the things he said to me. The way he made me feel. Or the things he’s made me forget.

  He has to die.

  “I need to get ready for work,” I tell Mackenzie, taking a break. “I have the afternoon shift.”

  It’s rare that I work two to ten, but I’m not complaining. Getting to work with anyone other than Molly is a blessing. The diner has a total of four waitresses. Two work the day shift, and two on the night shift. Sometimes we all overlap so one of the others can have a day off.

  “I’ll walk with you. We worked right through lunch,” Mackenzie informs me. “I’m fucking starving.”

  “You’re always hungry,” I laugh.

  I grab my tennis shoes and pull them on then head to the bathroom to put my hair in a ponytail. The two of us walk the short distance to the diner, chatting about a new guy Mackenzie’s seeing on the way.

  “It’s only been a few dates, and two of those were lunch dates, so we’ll see how it goes,” she says. “You know how I feel about lunch dates.”

  I also know that most of her nights are occupied with babysitting Layla for me, so it’s difficult for her to have a social life. She also does the pick-ups for the product every other Wednesday night for Hell’s Fury. Only trusted members are allowed to do that. When she does the pick-ups from Jiminez, she provides him with DEA intel on who they are watching and the areas they are canvassing so he can be sure to keep his product clear and safe from those areas.

  “Well, I need to meet him so I can pass judgment,” I let her know.

  “Another double date?” she half-jokes.

  “Hey, I promise not to interrogate him the way you did,” I tease.

  “Or, instead of a double date, I’ll hang out with you at the diner for a bit, and then I’ll go home and get us some clothes to change into, and we’ll go out when your shift is over.”

  I’m not really in the mood for going out, but since I keep her nights busy with a seven-year-old kid, I should probably let her enjoy a night out when she’s not babysitting. Layla is enjoying the weekend with her friend and the puppy she gushed about all week.

  “That’ll work,” I tell her. “Your guy can always join us.”

  We reach the diner, and once we’re inside, I go get my apron and tie it on while Mackenzie takes a seat at the counter. I already know what she likes, so I go put the order in with Donnie before getting her something to drink.

  I flip the television on and then check in with Anna to see if there’s anything I need to do for her before she leaves. She has a couple of tables she’s going to finish up and lets me know the salt and pepper shakers could use refilling.

  I walk to the stock room and grab what I need to take care of that. When I return, Anna is in the corner finishing up with her customers, and some new customers are sitting directly behind Mackenzie.

  I head over to them, pulling my pad from my apron and putting a smile on my face. I manage not to let it falter when I see who it is.

  Anterio Jiminez.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Lucien

  I can’t say I’m not a jealous man. When I found out Spencer was fucking Ford, I went off the deep end and nearly killed my cellmate. If the guard hadn’t intervened, I would have. Fuck, I almost killed the guard. Had he not had back up, there’s no telling how long I would’ve been in lockup, and no amount of favors Griffin Knowles called in would’ve gotten me released.

  When Reid had looked at Harper’s naked body, I jacked off in his face, wanting to nut all over his cheek just so he would never make that mistake again. He saw what belonged to me and I can tell that fucker enjoyed it.

  I know I’m a jealous man and it’s part of me that will never change. I’m jealous and possessive when someone tries to take what belongs to me. I’ve had too many important things stolen from me already, snatched from my grasp, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  So, when I see Jiminez smiling at Harper at the diner, it fucking pisses me off, sending jealousy coursing through my veins. I’m already annoyed that she didn’t let me know she was going in earlier than her normal ten o’clock. I showed up at her house to take her to dinner before her shift only to find it empty. A quick text to her had me finding out she was working two to ten tonight.

  As I watch her take Jiminez’s empty plate and refill his drink, I take a seat beside Mackenzie at the counter. She doesn’t seem too happy to see me, but she does tell me hello. It’s fine by me. I sat here to be closer to Jiminez, not to chit-chat with Queen B.

  “Hey,” Harper addresses me, “You want anything?”

  “I came by. Didn’t know you were already working.” I can hear that I’m being short with her without trying to be. She should have told me she was working a different shift today.

  “I had to come in at two today,” she answers as though it’s no big deal.

  I take a deep breath before I reply to her. “Yeah, I didn’t know that.”

  Mackenzie cocks an eyebrow in my direction. “Is she supposed to let you know when she takes a piss too?” she asks rudely. “Maybe ask your permission to wipe her ass?”

  “Mackenzie, don’t,” Harper warns.

  “If she works a different shift than her normal one, yes, she needs to let me know,” I say, and this gets Harper’s attention.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “You need to let me know those things.”

  Harper leans over the counter. “I’m sorry, when you left earlier this morning, you said you would be by later. You had club shit to do. I have no idea when later is, but I’m supposed to check in with you? Let you know what I’m doing and when?”

  “Yeah,” I reply, annoyed that she doesn�
�t understand.

  “I don’t think so.”

  She rolls her eyes as she turns away from me and I hear Mackenzie giggle under her breath. I could cause a scene if I wanted to. March behind the counter and drag Harper into that supply room. Give her a good fucking to show her who the damn boss is.

  But if I did that, Jiminez would know her relationship to me, and for some reason, I don’t want him to know that. Not when I’m about to hit his cartel with everything I’ve got.

  So, I stay put and watch her ignore me. Watch her refill Mackenzie’s soda and bring her a slice of pecan pie. I watch her take Jiminez a piece and practically flirt with him right in front of me.

  He fucking eats it right up too, smiling at her and grazing her hand with his when he takes his check from her. I will kill that son of a bitch!

  “Keep the change,” Jiminez tells Harper, passing a hundred dollar bill to her. Fucking dick.

  “Thank you,” Harper replies. “You’re very generous.”

  She stuffs the money into her apron and clears his table while he stands to leave. His eyes narrow on me, but only for a brief second before he exits the diner with his two bodyguards leading the way.

  “You know he’s only trying to buy you,” I tell her, clenching my jaw.

  She walks past me but looks over her shoulder as she responds, “Really? You only left me twenty bucks, and I fucked you. Guess I should’ve held out a little longer.”

  Harper

  I probably shouldn’t have made that comment, but I don’t need Lucien bossing me around. I’ve already told him that. Telling me I have to report to him when I leave for work or acting like a jealous asshole to the customers isn’t a turn on for me. Even if the customer is Anterio Jiminez.

  This is how I make my living. I do not get paid enough from Hell’s Fury to just sit back and pretend that I don’t need these shifts or tips. I have to count every penny. I want Layla to be taken care of always.

  So, when he storms out, I don’t blame him, but I’m not going to apologize or admit that I was wrong. I did nothing wrong, and if he wants to behave like a controlling douche, then he doesn’t need to stay inside the diner.

  “You ready to get changed?” Mackenzie asks after I’ve wiped down my tables.

  “Um, yeah, sure,” I answer her, still unwilling to back out although I really don’t want to go now.

  She tells me my clothes are in the bag she brought in and stashed under the register, so I get it and head into the bathroom. I roll my eyes at the black leather skirt and white top she brought for me, not to mention the red heels. She knows I do not do well in heels.

  Instead of making her feel like crap, I change into the outfit, but I opt to wear the chucks I wore to work. They’re black, so they match just fine. I notice her eyeing them when I emerge from the bathroom, but she keeps her mouth shut. She already won a battle with the clothes. My damn bare nipples will be like a fucking beacon to pervs in this white top.

  “Let’s go,” she says. “Our ride will be here any second.”

  “So, he’s coming?” I ask her, and she nods, a smile on her face.

  We walk outside and Lucien is perched on his bike, his phone to his ear. His eyes narrow at my attire and he hangs up his phone, marching over to me. Once he’s close, Mackenzie loops her arm in mine.

  “There’s our ride,” she grins.

  Lucien glances over his shoulder at the pickup truck that has pulled up at the diner. A man gets out, bald-headed with blue eyes. He’s wearing a form-fitting black t-shirt and jeans. He smiles when he sees Mackenzie.

  “The hell it is,” Lucien grumbles.

  Mackenzie releases my arm and skips over to the man, leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. He cups her ass as he gives her a welcoming kiss. I suppose she’s excited this isn’t a lunch date.

  “You’re not going anywhere with him, Harper,” Lucien states.

  Mackenzie is beaming when she comes back, date in tow. “Harper, this is Christopher Suggs, Christopher, this is my friend, Harper.”

  “You can call me Suggs,” he replies, shaking my hand.

  “This is her friend, Lucien,” Mackenzie adds almost like an afterthought.

  The two men shake hands, but there is an underlying animosity between them that I can’t quite place. Maybe it’s animosity or maybe it’s familiarity. I’m not sure, but there’s something.

  “I’m taking you home, Harper,” Lucien says. “Let’s go.”

  Mackenzie takes my hand and pulls me toward her. “Sorry, buddy, we have plans tonight.”

  Lucien grabs my arm, jerking me to him. “I don’t fucking think so.”

  Great, I’m being fought over like I’m a piece of property as the two of them start pulling me back and forth.

  “Enough!” I yell, snatching away from both of them. “I will decide where the hell I’m going and who with!”

  “You are not going anywhere with that damn asshole!” Lucien warns.

  “Hey, Luc, come on!” Suggs says, confirming that the two of them do know each other somehow. I don’t bother asking how. I’ll worry with that shit later.

  “You go get your ass in that truck before I fucking hand it to you!” Lucien yells at him, and the guy walks off, cursing to himself. I hear his truck door slam, but he doesn’t crank it up.

  “I’m not doing this,” I mutter. “You two ride together, and I will ride with you.” I shove Mackenzie toward Lucien and I go get in Sugg’s pickup truck, locking the door behind me.

  “Lock it and don’t let them in,” I tell him. “Let’s go.”

  “Damn it, girl, your old man is gonna fucking kill me,” he tells me, shaking his head and cranking up the truck.

  “He is not my old man.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Lucien

  Suggs drives off with my fucking old lady in his truck. Damn it! That murdering asshole has Harper in his front damn seat! I let out a slew of curses as I walk over to my bike.

  “Are you fucking coming or what?” I yell to Mackenzie, and she hurries over, climbing on behind me.

  “You know, if you didn’t try to be so damn bossy to her, she would’ve ridden with you, but no, you had to act like a damn caveman!”

  “Why is it that neither of you women can see that I’m looking out for her?” I grit out, pulling out of the parking lot while she’s still strapping the helmet on.

  “Why is it that you can’t see she doesn’t need you to look out for her?” she hollers over my engine.

  I spot the truck just ahead so I speed up in order to catch up with them. I’m not sure where they’re headed, but apparently Mackenzie made plans for the three of them to go out tonight. Another thing Harper didn’t fill me in on.

  We slow to a stop, pulling into the parking lot for Exotico. Of all the motherfucking places. Mackenzie grumbles as she gets off the bike, obviously not too keen on being taken to a strip club. She quickly heads over to Suggs as he exits his truck. Harper is already out and walking across the parking lot.

  “A fucking strip club? You call this a date?” Mackenzie is ripping Suggs a new one as I try to catch up with Harper.

  I see her disappear through the club entrance and I follow quickly behind her. Latin music with a heavy beat pulses through the speakers as I walk through the club. Women are dancing half-naked in cages suspended from the ceiling, onlookers standing below them gawking and tossing them money.

  I spot Harper at the bar waiting to be served. I cross the short distance between us and try to calm my temper before I reach her. No such luck. I’m pissed as hell and the fact that she’s passing the bartender her purse isn’t making me feel better.

  “We’re going,” I order her, and she laughs.

  “No, I just got here.”

  She downs the shot placed in front of her and flashes me a smile before walking away. She pushes her way through the crowd and down the hall toward the women’s restroom.

  I order a shot and take it before
following after her. I push the door open, and the women inside are wide-eyed at the sight of a man in the room.

  “Get the fuck out!” I yell, causing them to squeal and scream as they take off running.

  “Are you kidding me?” I hear from one of the stalls, and I know its Harper.

  A few seconds later the door swings open and she starts to come out. I block her way, effectively keeping her inside. The door slams shut.

  “Why are you pushing my buttons tonight?” I ask her, placing my hands around her throat, not squeezing but rubbing my thumb against her jawline.

  “Why are you trying to act as though you own me all of the sudden?” she counters. “I told you before not to boss me around. I’m a grown ass woman, Lucien.”

  I come closer until my forehead rests against hers, my anger slightly dissipating. “I’m trying to protect you, Harper.”

  “By making demands? By being an asshole?”

  “I don’t know any other way to be,” I admit, leaning back to look at her. “I don’t like the idea of someone else taking what’s mine.”

  “Oh my gosh, Lucien! No one else is trying to take me from you!”

  “I saw the way Jiminez was looking at you tonight. He’s a powerful man.”

  She smiles, reaching up to run her thumb over my bottom lip. “You’re a powerful man,” she tells me, “But you do not own me.”

  Harper

  Lucien bites the tip of my thumb, not enough to be painful, and then sucks it into his mouth. I sigh, resting my head against the wall. I’m aching for him, desperate to be touched despite how annoyed I am with him and how sore I still am.

  Yet, I want him. There’s no doubt about that.

  He needs to know that he does not own me before he touches me though. He cannot show up any time he wants and expect me to just be there, waiting for him. He cannot expect me to always text him or call him with my schedule and whereabouts. I’m not going to do that. I’m not one of his Sinners.