Bottling It (A Wayfair Witches' Cozy Mystery #1)

by A. A. Albright

  Just as he opened his mouth to reply, the office door swung open. I was about to shoot whoever it was an angry scowl. I mean, talk about picking your moments. But when I saw who had just come in, all I could do was form a great big dumb smile.

  It seemed a little less dumb when I realised that Will was smiling just as dumbly back at me. After a moment, he laughed in embarrassment and approached the desk. Mike moved his seat back to his own workstation, and Will perched himself on the end of my desk, looking at me. Well, looking at a certain part of me, anyway.

  He coughed. ‘Oh my stars! I’m sorry, Wanda. I wasn’t looking at your … y’know. Not that they’re not … but …’ His perfect face grew flustered. Sweat beaded on his forehead. ‘What I’m trying to say is that I was looking at your pendant.’ He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small velvet box and opened it. Inside was another pendant, just as ugly as my own. ‘I was bringing you this in case you didn’t have one of your own. I mean, I was sure you would but I’ve heard you never come to the witch enclaves if you can help it, so I didn’t want to take any chances.’

  Wow, I thought. Everyone sure did seem to hear an awful lot about me. Who were these people, I wondered, who were doing the talking?

  ‘Not that everyone talks about you or anything,’ he said, as though he read my mind. ‘Just … y’know what people are like. Look, anyway. Never mind about people. What I wanted to ask you was if you’d come to mine. For dinner. Tonight.’

  ‘To yours? For dinner? Tonight?’

  ‘Yes.’ He coughed again, closing the box and putting the pendant back in his pocket. ‘I mean … I can barely boil an egg but I’ll do my best. So will you? I mean, if you’re busy we can do it another night. By it, I mean dinner. Obviously. It’s just … there’s something I really want to show you. Something special.’

  Alarm bells probably should have been ringing. If the Berrys were as unsavoury as my mother and Mike suggested, then Will couldn’t be much better. What if he was inviting me over for some underhanded reason? But then, what if I said no and missed the perfect opportunity to find out more? I mean, I could snoop around Will’s house. Keep my eyes out for clues. And, you know, any other excuses that I needed to make to convince myself I didn’t fancy the pants off Will.

  ‘Yes,’ I said with my most casual smile. ‘That would be fine.’

  Will beamed. ‘Really? I mean … wow. Great. Wonderful. So shall I pick you up at seven or so?’

  ‘You know where I am?’

  He grinned. ‘Westerly Crescent, right? I don’t know what number, though.’

  ‘Three,’ I said, grinning back at him. Darn it. I wasn’t just grinning. I was grinning like a deranged fool. And I’d been doing so well at playing cool up until then.

  As soon as Will left the room, Mike glowered in my direction. ‘So. You’re close with Will.’ Was it my imagination, or was there a touch of fear beneath Mike’s glower?

  I gulped. ‘No. Not really. I just met him the other day.’

  ‘Hmph!’ He stood up, ripped the wage slips from the printer, and shoved them into my arms. ‘Hand these out. I’m taking the afternoon off. And seeing as you won’t be here on Friday, I won’t be seeing you again. So I wish you all the best working for your wonderful new friends.’

  10.Two Hundred and Forty

  Berrys’ Bottlers closed at five, but I couldn’t go straight home. The place I needed to go to for Dudley’s dentures was on Warren Lane, which meant driving into the city in rush hour traffic. Great fun. I would definitely have to practise travelling the way other witches did. You know, when I got over my fear of slicing myself in two.

  I found the address in question, and looked up at the sign. Little and Large Dentures. Helping you and your familiar grow old together since the Year of the Walrus.

  The shop was just closing, but luckily they had Dudley’s dentures ready for collection. Maureen had paid for them ahead of time, but I saw another customer in there, handing over coins – some round and made of a thick gold, some sickle-shaped and made of a bright metal that I couldn’t identify. Others were tiny, pretty silver stars. Those ones jogged a memory – paying for cream buns in Caulfield’s Cakes as a child. I shook my head, amazed that I’d actually forgotten about those beautiful coins.

  I drove back to Westerly Crescent as quickly as my little feet could press the accelerator, pulled up at Number One, and ran in with the Berry Good Go Juice in my handbag. I’d managed to stash it there as soon as Mike wasn’t looking. Not that he would have thought anything of my putting a bottle of juice in my bag, but you never knew, did you? He was hardly my greatest fan. What better way for him to deflect from all he had told me, than by making me look like a traitor?

  My mother opened the door before I knocked and ushered me inside.

  ‘Did you get it?’

  I handed her the bottle. ‘What now?’

  ‘Ronnie’s staying late at Crooked College this evening so she can test it. She’s the Potions Professor there. We should know within a few hours. Do you want to come along when I go to meet her? It’ll be good for you to get to know our contacts.’

  I shook my head. ‘Actually, Will Berry has invited me to his place. For dinner.’

  ‘Oh?’ My mother lifted a chestnut coloured eyebrow. ‘Has he now? And do you think that’s wise? I mean, we might not have tested this yet, but we all know what the results are going to prove. This juice is connected to the murders. Which means the Berrys are connected to the murders.’

  ‘I know, I know. But don’t you think that’s even more of a reason for me to accept his invitation? Who knows what I might find out?’

  ‘Spoken like a true Wayfair.’ She sighed. ‘Part of me wants to talk you out of it. Part of me is proud as punch. But be careful, Wanda.’

  ‘I will.’ I turned to leave, but paused half way. ‘There’s something I forgot to tell you before. There was a break-in at the bottling factory. Late last Sunday night. Will told me they couldn’t find anything missing except for the Berry Good Go Juice recipe.’

  Her face fell. ‘Well that changes everything. If they had a break in …’ She stopped speaking and groaned. ‘If they had a break in,’ she eventually continued, ‘then who knows who is behind all of this? It might not be the Berrys after all.’

  ‘Really?’ I gave her a quick peck on the cheek, trying to hide the smile on my face. Will could be innocent after all? ‘Even so, I’ll be careful.’

  ≈

  Max was sitting on the staircase when I entered. He had a scarf pulled up over the lower part of his face, covering his nose.

  ‘Is your rat okay?’ His voice was filled with muffled concern. ‘Because he smells a bit … sick?’

  ‘Oh. Yeah. He’s just old, I think. He needs a lot of baths. Speaking of which, I think he’s well overdue.’ I cast an envious glance at the scarf Max wore. Why couldn’t I have thought of that?

  Max didn’t move from the staircase. ‘Oh, yeah. Well I won’t keep you. Listen, did you pink about the pipe?’

  ‘Pink about the pipe?’

  He lifted the scarf. ‘I said did you think about tonight?’

  ‘Oh. About us having dinner tonight.’ No, I admitted to myself. I hadn’t thought about it. In fact, I’d totally forgotten he ever asked. ‘I’m so sorry, Max. But it’s my new boss. He’s asked me to go over and work late. Maybe tomorrow?’

  He hung his head. ‘Lippen. I dow I was a baseball.’

  Sensing my puzzlement, he lifted the scarf again. ‘I said listen, I know I was an a-hole. Hardly the welcoming housemate. But I was really happy that someone finally agreed to move in here. I mean, it’s not exactly the best deal is it?’

  I wrinkled my nose. ‘You said it was two hundred and forty.’

  ‘I know.’ He groaned. ‘It’s a lot of work to expect someone like you to do. I mean, you’re a Wayfair. And you work for the Berrys now. But that’s the way it is in the other enclaves. Two hundred and forty minutes of community maintenance every single
month. You wouldn’t see the werewolves accepting a deal like that. They only have to do one-twenty. And the vampires? That lot do sixty. They barely break a sweat. Not that they do sweat, but … you know what I mean. And they don’t even do a decent job, either.’

  My nose remained wrinkled. I recalled my coven looking at one another the night before and mouthing ‘Money?’ I thought back to all of the other strange comments I’d received regarding Westerly Crescent.

  ‘Ohhh.’ The truth was dawning. This must be one of the unusual barter systems Mike had referred to. I think I preferred the pretty coins. ‘I don’t have to pay to live here. I have to work.’

  ‘You didn’t know that?’ He slapped a hand against his forehead. ‘Well that’ll explain why you agreed to take the room. I suppose you’ll be leaving now. Pity.’

  He finally stood from the staircase, slumping into the lounge. I really wanted to go upstairs, bathe Dudley, and then spend a ridiculous amount of time getting ready for my not-a-date. But Max looked so miserable, and apparently I was volunteering to be his company, because I followed him into the lounge.

  It was a beautiful room. There was a large entertainment centre, a great view of the park, big comfy couches and walls lined with bookshelves. By the looks of things, someone who lived here read a lot. I wondered whether it was Max or his mysterious cousin.

  I sank into a couch next to him. ‘I dunno. Might be a shame to have to move all over again. What does this work entail, exactly?’

  His eyes took on an eager glint. He reminded me of the dog he’d been that morning. ‘So you’re still up for living here? Really? Well, the work’s not that bad, actually. We have to spend some of the time maintaining the witch enclave in Easterly Crescent, but they issue us with a temporary pendant when we have to do that.’ He looked down at my jewellery. ‘But I see you’ve already got that bit covered. And about a quarter of the minutes are for tidying up our own area. The wizards down the road will even let you borrow their gadgets for that if you want. Hedge clipping, road sweeping, grass cutting. Since that lot moved in, I haven’t had to do much more than supervise the machines.’

  ‘That all sounds fine. But just answer me one more thing.’

  ‘Anything.’ The eager look grew tenfold.

  ‘Why minutes? Why not just say four hours of work? Surely that’d avoid any undue confusion?’

  He shrugged. ‘Suppose it would, wouldn’t it?’

  11.Lost and Found

  Dudley’s dentures fit perfectly. The lisp was gone, and he looked like a much younger rat. Still a smelly one, but younger was at least an improvement. Speaking of smelly, I was just drying Dudley off after an incredibly long bath when the doorbell rang.

  ‘I’ll get it,’ Max called up the stairs.

  A moment later I heard him pull open the door and, after some words I couldn’t hear from whoever was outside, Max said, ‘Come in. I’ll tell her you’re here.’

  I glanced at my wristwatch. It was six forty-five. It couldn’t be Will already, could it?

  Footsteps rushed up the stairs and a sharp knock sounded on my bedroom door. I left Dudley to finish drying and went to answer.

  ‘He’s a bit overdressed for a night going over the books,’ Max whispered. He sounded a little on the surly side. For some reason, that upset me. I decided that if we were going to live here in happy unwedded housemate bliss, perhaps lying wasn’t the best way to go forward. Although I couldn’t exactly be truthful, either, could I?

  ‘Overdressed? Is he? Actually, Max … I might have been a little liberal with the truth earlier on. To be honest, I’m not sure we’ll be working. He said he has something to show me at his place, and that he’ll cook us dinner while we’re there.’

  ‘Oh.’ Max arched a light brown brow. ‘So it’s more of a date, then.’ The surly tone was unmistakable this time.

  Hmm. Straddling the border between truth and lies was a little bit trickier than popular fiction had led me to believe. What could I tell him? Well no, Max. It’s not a date, actually, because he’s a murder suspect and I’m going over there to snoop?

  ‘I don’t know what it is,’ I said, sounding a tad more exasperated than I’d intended. ‘Does it matter?’

  Max shrugged, turned on his heel and went towards his bedroom. ‘Suppose not,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘Maybe I’ll go out myself, then. Clubbing, maybe. It’s either that or be stuck here alone with your stinking rat. Oh, and don’t forget your keys, because I probably won’t be here to let you back in if you do. Y’know – because of all the fun I’ll be having.’

  I was just about to remark that I was still using the spare keys and had none of my own to forget when he slammed his bedroom door behind him.

  I scarpered back inside my own room. ‘What was that about?’

  I should have remembered that I was no longer talking to myself. I had a familiar now – however temporarily – and he was looking at me while he crawled into the little bed I’d made for him on top of a chair.

  ‘You know perfectly well what that was about. Max hates the Berrys. Everyone does.’

  ‘Oh.’ I bit my lip, wondering why I was so surprised by Dudley’s answer. What else had I expected him to say, after all? ‘Well … he’ll be thanking me soon then, won’t he? Because the only thing I’ll be doing at Will’s house tonight is finding the evidence I need to prove that the Berrys are behind these murders. Incidentally … I was thinking of wearing that red dress.’ I nodded to the dress I’d left hanging outside the wardrobe that morning. ‘Do you think that’ll look good? For snooping, I mean.’

  Dudley rolled his eyes. ‘I’ve been going through your clothes today, as it happens,’ he informed me. ‘Don’t worry,’ he added, noting the look of horror on my face. ‘I doused myself with your perfume first. You might want to buy a new bottle by the way. But I think that the teal summer dress would look best. It’s not as obvious as the red, but it’ll still give a hint of cleavage.’

  I gawped.

  Dudley shrugged. ‘I meant so you can keep Mr Berry’s male mind too busy to wonder why you’re really there.’

  ‘Oh. Yeah.’

  ‘And also …’ Dudley lay back and opened his crossword book. ‘… I think you could do with taking a quick shower first.’

  ≈

  Somehow, I managed to make it downstairs at only a minute after seven. Will was sitting awkwardly on one of the couches in the lounge, but as soon as I entered he stood up.

  ‘Wow. I mean … you look … I mean … wow.’

  I looked at the floor. I had to, because his sea-green eyes were looking particularly sea-greeny at that moment. If I looked into them for too long, who knew what would happen? My stars, how do secret agents do it? I was trying my very best not to be distracted by the short-sleeved polo shirt that brought out his biceps, really I was. And I was also doing my absolute and utter best not to breathe in the smell of his cologne. It was hard work, believe me.

  ‘Sorry I kept you waiting.’

  ‘Not at all. You’re right on time. It was me who was rude enough to be early. So, um … how do you want to get there?’

  I found a fascinating pattern on his plain white shirt to stare at. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well … you’re not … you can’t … I mean, I have a car, but my aunt has a conniption when I drive it. Says it’s unwitchly of me. And I have brooms, but I thought … you know … you might think I was being a bit forward, asking you to ride on the back of my broom.’

  I tried to calm the flush that was forming – not just on my cheeks, but everywhere. There was probably some witch etiquette I didn’t know about involving brooms. Maybe it wasn’t a first-date sort of thing, riding on the back of someone’s broom. It was just as well, I supposed. I mean, I’d probably have to hold on, wouldn’t I? To his waist. I’d probably have to hold on very, very tight.

  ‘So then I thought I could click my fingers,’ Will went on. ‘Or we could take the company van, because my aunt probably wouldn’t
mind if you were the one doing the driving. But that’s not very gentlemanly is it? And you couldn’t have a drink then, could you? So ... yeah. It’s probably either clicking my fingers or walking, I’m afraid. Your choice.’

  I followed his words carefully, doing my best to overlook the fact that his aunt’s opinion meant way too much to him. I mean, had he even met the woman? Who in their right mind would give a toss what she thought about anything?

  ‘We could walk,’ I said. ‘If it’s not too far across the park.’ And also, I avoided adding, if we walked I wouldn’t have to hold his hand the way I’d have to if we travelled via his finger click. Because that would be almost as unbearably and illicitly delicious as wrapping my arms about his waist.

  He bit his bottom lip and smiled. ‘It’s not far at all. A walk it is, then.’

  ≈

  It was my first time walking through Luna Park. It was a beautiful evening, and there were dozens of people out. Now that I’d come into my power, it was easy to spot the different types of supernatural.

  There were some vampires just coming out of their houses on the north side of the park. There was still a little evening sun, so they were well wrapped up while they mowed the grass and clipped the hedges.

  There were some werewolves too. If I’d looked at them a few days’ earlier, I might have thought that they were just some incredibly attractive young men and women, but now I could smell them. It wasn’t that it was a canine smell. Well, there was a bit of that, but most of what I could smell was far more powerful. The werewolves gave off some sort of pheromones that I’d never noticed before. The scent made them even more attractive than their appearances alone might have done. One or two of them could almost give Will a run for his money. Some of them were tending to flower beds and scooping up rubbish, but others were standing at the edge of the park and … I averted my eyes.