The Gorgon Bride

by Galen Sulak-Ramsey

  “For the most part,” he replied. “And you?”

  “I’m a little tired. Having to fight Ares first thing in the morning will do that to you.”

  “Coffee?” Alex offered, thinking it was the only polite response to her comment. “I have some, though I can’t make it. But you’re welcome to anything in the cupboard.”

  “No thank you. Honestly, I can’t stand the stuff. It tastes too much like watered down beans.” Athena made her way to the living room, tossed her helm and spear to the side, and took a seat in a leather recliner. “So, Alex, should I be pleased with the progress you’ve made?”

  “Well, I’m not really sure if I can attest to such a thing,” he said, and that was the truth. Though he was happy, and more importantly, Euryale was happy, he couldn’t help but wonder if Athena would see his new-found relationship with the gorgon as a way to cheat at the task she had set before him.

  Euryale crept up behind Alex and slid her arm inside of his. “Your champion is mine and I am his.”

  Athena took to her feet with vigor. “Lovely. Now we can all move on to bigger and better things.”

  Alex, shocked that Athena had taken the news so well, managed to restart his brain enough to reengage the conversation. “You’re okay with this?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” Athena replied. “If she’s happy, Phorcys is happy. And that means I’m happy.”

  “You can stop worrying, Alex,” the gorgon said, leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I told you things would be fine. We’ll be married before you know it, and all of this will be behind us.”

  “Married?” Alex echoed. “When, exactly?”

  Euryale went from excited to ecstatic with her face bright and her vipers energetic. “Soon as we can plan the wedding. I’ve wanted this for so long. I don’t think I could bear putting it off any longer.”

  “Shouldn’t we wait and spend some quality time together?”

  “What for?” Euryale asked, snuggling in to him. “We’ve already spent time together, and I’ve chosen to love you, and you’ve chosen to love me. What more is there?”

  Athena threw Alex a wry grin. “Yes, Alex. Why wait?”

  Alex resigned the argument before it had a chance to take off. He slumped into a nearby couch and stared at his feet. “This is just going much faster than I’m used to. I think I would’ve liked to at least ease into a marriage. You know, be engaged for a while to make sure it’s what we want.”

  “But you said you’d give me your best after you slept with me,” Euryale said, confusion surfacing in her face.

  “I didn’t sleep with you,” Alex replied.

  “Yes, you did. What do you call last night?”

  “We slept in the same bed,” he said, trying to explain what he meant. “But that’s not sleeping together.”

  “What would you call it?” Athena interjected.

  “No, I mean, that we didn’t…” Alex said, tripping over his words. “I just don’t understand what the big deal is over sharing a bed.”

  “You can’t expect to sleep with a girl and not have her think it’s important,” Athena scolded.

  Alex looked at Euryale, whose earlier bliss was starting to dim. In that moment, he decided that continuing the argument over semantics was silly. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know she was looking for a husband from the start, or that he’d find her anyone else, or wanted to find her someone else for that matter. Sure, they were moving faster in their relationship than a whale falling at terminal velocity, but his heart said that his worries were unfounded and that this was right. Being with her felt right, even if he didn’t agree with her idea of choosing to love. Love chose you, not vice versa as far as he—and every other romantic that had ever lived—was concerned.

  Alex reached back and took her hand. “It doesn’t matter. We can get married whenever you like.”

  Euryale leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you.”

  “Wonderful,” Athena said, again taking her seat. “Your father ought to be happy now, and even more important, he ought to stop hounding me.”

  “He’s going to be thrilled,” Euryale corrected as she massaged Alex’s shoulders. “Stheno might be a little jealous about not being married first, but we’ll manage.”

  “Well now that that’s out of the way, it sounds like you two have quite a lot to do,” Athena said. “There’s just one last thing to take care of, and then I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. And that would be the matter of your reward.”

  Alex perked. “You’re giving me a reward?”

  “I said I would, and I am a goddess of my word,” she replied. “Think of it as a wedding gift. What would you like?”

  “Is this a free wish kind of thing?” Alex asked.

  “Close to it, so make it a good one,” she answered. “Since you’re marrying into her family, you’ll get to live with her on her island and avoid being turned into a shade—so you have that going for you already. For your gift, all you need to say is, ‘I wish’ and fill in the blank. But nothing cute like asking for more wishes. Try that one and I’ll give you a fruit cake instead.”

  Alex drummed his fingers on his leg while he thought about how best to use his one wish. He thought about asking for his body back, but wondered if he would be selling his wish short on such a request, and being able to float through walls never seemed to get old. He considered power or riches, but given that his fiancée was the daughter of a god, he decided he would get that anyway when he became the new son-in-law. With only one wish at his disposal, getting it perfect was paramount. Thus, without having an immediate answer, he decided to ask Euryale for her input. “What would you wish for?”

  “I already got my wish,” she said, snaking her arms around him and giving him a squeeze. “Get whatever you want.”

  Euryale had barely finished her sentence when the front door disintegrated into a hail of splinters. Alex leapt off the couch as an enormous, muscular man clothed only in a loin cloth strode into the foyer.

  “Gods, Ares,” Athena said with embarrassment. “Couldn’t you have rung the doorbell like everyone else?”

  Chapter Ten

  Alex bolted outside. He had seen a lot of things in life, but never had he seen gods battle. In truth, no one that resided on his block had either. All of that changed, however, when Athena insisted that she and Ares take their argument elsewhere—to be polite to Alex, of course—and Ares heaved a 2010 Mercedes-Benz SLR at his sister. Its sleek, W196-F1-inspired design, rear spoiler and fine Anglo-German engineering made it an exceptional missile for any enraged deity. A fact that Alex became aware of as the vehicle missed Athena by a hair and tumbled down the street.

  “Hold still, you little cheat!” the god bellowed over the now blaring car alarm. His eyes scanned the road for something else heavy to chuck.

  Alex felt that he should object to the destruction of his neighbor’s properties, but given that the Mercedes belonged to Mrs. Nemur and she had never given him any cookies, he decided not to risk afterlife and limb.

  “Honestly, Ares,” Athena said with a grin. “If you aren’t going to learn to lose graciously, I’m not going to play with you anymore.” She paused to brush back her hair as her brother, flustered, continued his search for the perfect missile.

  “Game?” he roared. “You think this is a game? You antagonizing Aphrodite is no game.”

  “Ah. So, this isn’t about you. It’s about her.”

  Another auto-turned-missile flew down the road, and Athena dodged once again.

  Alex, now fearing for the safety of all in the area, finally decided to get involved. “Could you take this elsewhere? The police will be here soon.”

  “What are they going to do, arrest me?” Athena said with amusement.

  “I don’t know, but this is a pleasant neighborhood, and it doesn’t deserve to be obliterated.”

  “Stay out of this, mortal.” Ares gave him a very convincing de
ath-to-you-by-divine-fury look. “This matter will be settled right here, right now, in its entirety.”

  Athena ducked under the fist of her brother’s clumsy attack and kicked him playfully. “It’s not good for you to be upset about something so silly. You know I’ll exploit it and make you look like the fool.”

  “I’m not the one that’s upset,” Ares said as he managed to get a hold of Athena’s wrist. He yanked her off balance and gave her a hip toss. “Aphrodite is.” Ares paused and enjoyed his small victory while letting his sister take to her feet. “She was so distraught that her fires of passion were snuffed, and she could not be intimate.”

  “Feel better now, or do you need to prove you can win?” Athena replied, brushing herself off. “And I doubt that the little tramp was the one having issues on performance.”

  “I’ll feel better when you beg for mercy.” Ares balled his fists and charged, but Athena sidestepped the attack. “You shouldn’t be meddling in affairs of the heart.”

  Athena clutched her chest. “Me meddle with love? Surely you jest.” The shock on her face might have passed for authentic if a wry smile hadn’t formed a second later.

  Ares ripped a street lamp from the ground and held it above his shoulder. “Don’t feign ignorance with me, little sis. We all know you are trying to find Euryale a husband.”

  “Correction, I have found Euryale a husband.”

  Ares kept the streetlamp high, but did not swing. Clearly, this statement was not one he had expected to hear, and he was probably trying to figure out which to do first: either drive the lamppost into his sister’s stomach or pump her for info. “You seek to enrage me further,” he finally said, taking a deep breath. “No one would marry a gorgon.”

  “Alex is about to,” Athena replied, motioning toward him. “They agreed to the union this morning, in fact.”

  “They did, did they?” The God of War dropped the light pole, and it hit the ground hard enough that Alex could feel the thump in his feet. “Congratulations, little mortal,” Ares said, turning to Alex. “I’m certain you will find many a heroic battle defending her honor.”

  “Thank you,” Alex replied as he inched back. It was not the reaction he had expected from such a raging hulk of muscle. But with the look Ares now had in his eye, Alex wondered if it might be a good idea to run back inside.

  “Don’t take this personally, Alex,” Ares said as he walked toward him. “But I can’t allow this wedding to happen. Not while Athena is involved and my lover is not.”

  “What?” Alex said, back peddling on his front lawn, arms outstretched defensively. “Keep me out of this.”

  Athena intercepted her brother and put a staying hand on his shoulder. “Oh stop, Ares,” she said. “We both know you’ll not touch Alex or Euryale under my watchful eye. Now run back to Aphrodite and tell her what you will.”

  Ares grabbed her wrist and growled, “Do not tell me what to do.”

  “It’s over,” she said, freeing herself as easily as she had countless times before. “Now if you’ll excuse me while I gather my belongings, I’d appreciate it.” Athena turned away and walked back in the house.

  Alex watched Ares’ skin color go from a light shade of pink to a bright crimson. Judging by the curses the god swore under his breath as he chased after Athena, Alex guessed that what was about to happen would be nothing short of cataclysmic.

  Thus, Alex remained outside, thinking it would be wise to stay away from the argument. He wondered if it might not be a bad idea to leave the city or even the state. A moment later, Euryale bolted from the front door and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him into the street. All that came out of her mouth was the single word, “Run.”

  A heartbeat later the house exploded, sending bits of plaster, wood, furniture, pillows, plates, electronics, and piano in every direction. From the midst of the smoking crater, Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, and Ares, God of War, rolled forth, arms firmly locked about one another.

  “We should go while we still can,” Euryale said, tugging on Alex’s arm.

  Alex didn’t respond. He looked down at a single piece of debris that had come to rest at his feet. It was a fragment of one of his piano keys, middle C, and he would’ve recognized it anywhere. He reached down, gently picked it up, cradled it in his hands, and growled.

  Euryale put a hand on his shoulder. “Alex? Dear?”

  “Hold this,” he replied, placing the key fragment in his fiancée’s hands. He brushed off his chest, which was more for show than for purpose, but it made him feel good, and marched forward.

  Athena and Ares continued to wrestle, each trading blows, locks, and kicks. Obscenities flowed as freely as their punches, and neither took note that Alex was now looming above them.

  “I have had enough of you two!” he shouted as his hands trembled. “You’ve ruined my life. You’ve demolished my house and my piano, killed my fish, destroyed my souvenir horse, and for what? To argue about who gets to set up Euryale?”

  Ares, whose arms were still locked about his sister, looked up, perplexed. “You have fish?”

  “Yes, I have fish!” Alex said, balling his hands into fists. “I love my fish. They aren’t constantly demanding things of me, or taxing my patience, or wanting me to perform this that and the other, unlike a few certain deities I know. I wish the both of you would leave me alone!”

  Athena smiled, and in the blink of an eye, she deftly slipped from her brother’s hold and took to her feet. “I like you Alex,” she said, keeping her smile. “You’ve got some spunk. And if I didn’t owe you a wish, I’d peel your skin for a thousand years over that little outburst. But since I do, I will uphold my word and be gone from your sight.”

  Ares’ face brightened. “You’ll have nothing to do with their wedding?”

  Athena nodded. “If Alex so desires for his present.”

  “Why do I even have to spell this out?” Alex said. He looked up to see the sidewalks filled with onlookers and their cameras, while Euryale moved away from them all, hiding beneath her floppy hat. Alex breathed deep before continuing. “Please go before you kill someone else. You’re already going to be on the news for mass destruction. We don’t need to add mass casualties to those reports.”

  Ares looked to Athena, and Athena in turn shrugged. “I’m ready to go home,” she said. “Tell Aphrodite she can see them wed and offer her blessings as she likes.”

  “Victory at last!” he shouted. Ares crushed Alex in a massive bear hug and hoisted him into the air. “Come, little warrior, and bring your bride! We shall have you wed in Olympus and celebrate the day that Athena surrendered!”

  As Alex was dragged away, he couldn’t help but notice Athena happily humming to herself. Moreover, he couldn’t help but worry what it meant.

  * * *

  Ares, with lightness in his step and a face full of joy, ran into the bathhouse and skidded to a halt on the mosaic floor. Aphrodite, lying in an immense basin filled with water and lilies, opened an eye at his intrusion. Her lips parted, but before she could speak, the God of War reached down and plucked her from her bath.

  “My love,” he said, spinning her about. “I have come with the most glorious of news.”

  “Put me down at once,” she insisted. The goddess pushed against his chest but could not free herself from his embrace. “Hephaestus will see us.”

  Ares squeezed her even more. “I care not,” he said while he kissed her several times over. “There is nothing that can be said or done to besmirch the news that this day has brought.”

  Aphrodite turned her head to the side as his lips brushed her neck. For the moment, she held her objections. Her hand drifted across his chest and down his side. “Tell me then, what news has given you such energy?”

  “Your honor has been restored. Athena has abandoned the gorgon.”

  Aphrodite grinned and ran fingertips down his back. “You’ve done well, my love.”

  Ares hoisted her furth
er, and she wrapped her legs about his waist. “Shall we pick up where we left off?” he asked. “Hephaestus, indeed no one, will be around for hours.”

  “Oh?” she replied as she nibbled at his ear. “What makes you so sure?”

  “They are all preparing for the wedding.”

  Aphrodite’s hands and lips stopped their caresses. “Wedding?”

  “Euryale has been betrothed to the mortal. The wedding is today, in less than an hour, and all are attending.”

  The goddess shoved him off and looked him square in the eye. “Are you trying to be funny?”

  “No,” Ares stammered. He took two steps back as his mind reeled. “I thought you would be glad that Athena has bowed out of the picture, wedding or not. She even deferred to you to bless Euryale’s marriage.”

  “How obtuse can you be?” she yelled, pushing him in the chest one more time. “There’s a wedding! A wedding! She brings two lovers together and somehow me getting to play second fiddle by granting them a token blessing is supposed to make me happy? It’s no wonder she beats you in everything. You really are as dumb as a boar.”

  The sense of humiliation came first, but as quickly as it rose, Ares pushed it down. His skin burned red, and he drove his fist into one of the room’s columns. Chunks of stone flew in all directions, and his face was covered with a fine powder. “You’re infuriating.”

  “And you’re useless,” Aphrodite said. She stomped off to the other side of the bathhouse and grabbed her clothes. “Where is this mortal now?”

  “I’m not sure,” he answered. “He was wandering around near the garden last I saw. Why?”

  “Because I’m tired of your ineptitude. I’m going to fix everything once and for all.”

  “You could challenge him to combat,” Ares replied thoughtfully. “Perhaps tearing his arms out of his sockets would make you feel better.”

  “So playwrights and poets can write stories of their tragic love for centuries? Are you crazy?” she replied as she slipped on her sandals and headed for the door. “No, I’m going to ensure one breaks the other’s heart.”