by Sean Michael
Affie dried off the fries and tossed them into the fryer, than started cooking the steaks. It soon smelled really good. Leaning past him, Affie took down a couple plates.
"It smells good." Luke could have had all this, if he hadn't been attacked.
Affie stopped and smiled, their faces so close together. Luke's heart stopped beating, he thought, and he was afraid he was going to cry.
Affie pushed his hair behind his ear, then stroked his cheek. "Luke..."
"I'm so sorry. I fucked everything up, so badly."
"Shh."
He leaned into Affie's hand, a single tear sliding free.
"Baby..." Affie brushed the tear away with his thumb.
"I just wanted to be yours." He'd just wanted... Oh, hell, what the fuck did it matter now?
"You still can be."
"I like. It's... I'm not viable." Or ready.
"Not viable?" Affie frowned.
"I can't get it up, I have trouble in crowds. I can't drink, I have nightmares, I worry."
"You never liked crowds, I remember more than one nightmare, and worrying is something you've always been good at, Luke." Affie stroked his cheek with that thumb and then went to turn the steaks. "I'm not perfect either, and I'm willing to work on the not getting it up thing."
"Yeah, but..." He knew it wouldn't work.
"But nothing." Affie came back and put their faces together again. "Promise me you'll think about it."
"Think about what?" God, Affie had pretty eyes.
"Us. Me. Us."
"You." They weren't an us anymore.
"Okay. Think about me." Affie grinned. "Are they good thoughts?"
"Mostly. Some are sad, but mostly good."
Affie sighed and leaned their foreheads together. "Please don't link me with what happened to you. I swear I didn't know. I didn't do it, no matter what they said."
"I know that. It took me a long time to come to that. I was messed up for a long time."
"I'm so sorry, baby." Affie's eyes closed. "I wish we hadn't gone that night."
"Me, too."
Affie nodded and the fryer beeped. He was given a soft kiss, a bare brush of Affie's lips on his before the man went back to the food.
Luke sat there, his heart broken. He thought he'd gotten over this.
It didn't take long at all before Affie had the food on the table in the dining room, and was leading him to his seat.
"Thank you." He shouldn't have come. He was going to fall in love again. He was stupid that way.
"Eat up baby. I made it especially for you."
"It smells amazing." The steak was glistening, the fries golden.
"Good." Affie grabbed up a steak knife and a fork, but clearly wasn't going to eat until he started.
Luke was ninety percent sure he was going to throw up, but the first bite was so good, he ate another. Then another. And another. Affie looked pleased as punch and dug into his own.
They didn't start talking until the steaks were half gone and suddenly Luke felt like he could slow down. "It's so good."
"Thank you, baby." Affie reached out and touched the back of his hand.
His hand turned, all on its own, and he grabbed Affie's fingers. Affie squeezed and held on.
"We should make weird small talk now, huh?" Had it been weird, before?
"We should talk about what movie you want to see after we've finished eating."
"What are my options?"
"Anything you want. If I don't have it, it'll be on Netflix."
"How about The Phantom Menace?" He was a geek, through and through.
"How about we start with that and work our way through all six?" Affie started in on his salad.
"Oh, that sounds fun."
"Cool. There's chocolate mousse cake for dessert. Full disclosure--I bought dessert."
"Chocolate mousse? Really? I haven't had that in..." Years. Since the last time Affie had bought it for him.
"Then we'll have to bring the whole cake with us."
"We'll explode." Still, the idea made him laugh.
"So we explode. Death by chocolate cake. It has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?"
"Boom." They laughed together, and it was fine, warmed him all through.
When they were done eating--he'd managed almost all of his steak--Affie cleared up and started a pot of coffee. "Did you want to go see if you can find the Star Wars movies?"
"Sure. In your...office? Media room?"
"I call it the TV room." Affie grinned. "You were always the one with the imagination."
"It's my job."
He headed into the TV room, finding the cabinet where Affie's collection was stored. Affie had thousands of movies. Literally thousands. Luke sat on the floor and started exploring, going through drawer after drawer.
"You look at home there," murmured Affie, coming into the room with a tray of coffees and cake.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I wasn't snooping."
"No need to apologize--I sent you here to look for the movies." Affie put the tray down on a table next to the big chair.
"You have a great collection."
"Yeah. Every time I saw one I thought you'd like, I bought it."
"Oh." He looked up at Affton, eyes wide, heart pounding.
Smiling, Affie held out a hand to him. He reached up, took the warm hand. Affie tugged him up, close against the tall, strong body.
"Did you find the Star Wars movies?"
"I did. I pulled them out."
"Cool." Affie grabbed the movies and cued the first one up before moving the chair, settling in it. Then those blue eyes met his and Affie patted his legs. "Come sit, baby. There's a spot here just for you."
"Are you sure?" If he sat, sat in Affie's lap, he might fall in love.
"A hundred percent." Affie reached for him.
He sat, settled on those muscled thighs.
"Mmm." Affie tugged him in and settled him so they were both comfortable. "Good?"
"I am. I shouldn't be. This should be weird, but it's not."
It was totally right.
Chapter 4
Thanksgiving was coming and Affton could scarcely believe it, but Luke had been back in his life for months now. The question was, would Luke spend the holiday with him? He was going to ask at supper tonight. He and Luke were getting together every Friday night for supper, usually watching movies until all hours of the night, falling asleep together in his big chair.
He'd learned more about cooking, about teas, and about avoiding Friday business meetings in the last few months than he'd ever thought possible. It was fascinating. Luke himself was even more fascinating. He was so different and yet the same and it made Affton's heart ache, need.
Funny, warm, genuine--Luke make him happy, but there was never even a hint of desire, of want. He needed to figure out how to wake that back up in his lover. Maybe them going away for Thanksgiving together would bring them closer to that.
He heard the elevator, the sound of Luke's knock on his door quiet. He went and opened the door, smiling warmly. He was still in love, maybe even stupid with it.
"It's snowing outside, just a little bit, but it is." Luke looked like an Eskimo.
He chuckled. "You look like you're bundled up against a blizzard."
"It's chilly out there."
"Come on in and let's get these layers off."
Even without the snow, Luke always wore a half dozen shirts, baggy pants. He knew that Luke was hiding, trying to make himself look bigger. He wanted Luke to know he didn't need to hide here. Luke was safe with him.
He helped Luke out of his big fluffy coat.
"Thank you." There was still a hoodie, a sweater. A T-shirt.
He tugged the zipper down on the hoodie, fingers sliding over Luke's shoulders as he pushed it off. For the first time, Luke didn't argue, he let Affton ease it off.
"How about the sweater, too. It's nice and warm in here." He'd taken to keeping the place hot when he knew Luke was coming over.
<
br /> "Okay." Luke raised his arms and Affton pulled the sweater off.
He wanted to cheer, getting Luke down to just the T-shirt. "There you are, baby."
"Hey. I bought chocolate cupcakes for dessert."
"Oh, you're trying to seduce me."
"Am I?" Luke grinned. "Maybe a little. I have the X-Men movie for retro night."
"Oh, good choice." He loved how geeky Luke still was.
"Cool." Luke headed for the kitchen and Affton watched. Jesus, look at that man. Luke's body was so fine.
He followed slowly, stepped up behind Luke. God, he wanted. "You hungry, baby?"
"Sure." Luke surprised him by leaning back, resting against him.
He let a single hand slide around to rest on Luke's belly, his chin resting on Luke's head. "I thought maybe pizza tonight?"
"Sounds perfect, actually. Sausage and mushroom?"
"Yeah, I could go for that." He rubbed his cheek over Luke's head.
"Mmm. You smell good." Luke's fingers played with his.
"I showered just for you." He used the soap he knew Luke liked.
"It's amazing." He could feel Luke's muscles moving for him.
"You smell like chocolate." Luke did. Like he'd made the cupcakes himself. Maybe he had.
"Do I?" Luke chuckled, leaned a little harder.
"Yeah, you do." Affton dared to drop his head, breathing in Luke's scent along his neck.
Luke shivered, moaned softly. "Affie."
"Yeah, baby?" God, he wanted. Like deep in his soul.
"That tingles."
"That's a good thing, isn't it?" He licked at Luke's neck.
"Oh, damn." Luke's head fell forward.
He kept licking, kissing, moving his lips on Luke's skin.
"We should order pizza." Luke sounded...breathless.
"Okay." He didn't stop.
He could hear Luke's soft, almost lost moan. He didn't push it, didn't try to make it more, he just kept touching Luke's belly and kissing the warm skin of Luke's neck. God, it was like a moment of magic.
It couldn't last, he knew it, but he was going to try, hold on with all he had. Luke tasted good, so good. He moaned softly, unable to stay quiet.
"You make me warm."
"Good." He nuzzled Luke's hair, breathing in. Luke smelled as good as he tasted.
"We're basking." Luke didn't sound like he was complaining.
"Yeah? That's cool. Been a long time since I basked."
"God, me, too."
He'd just bet.
He tugged gently on Luke's T-shirt, pulling it out of Luke's waistband, slowly, like he thought Luke was about to bolt at any moment.
"I...Yeah?" The words slipped out of Luke in a whisper.
"Yeah. Sweet boy. Such warm, silky skin." He kept his words soft, his touches to Luke's belly even softer.
The lean muscles jerked and twitched madly. He stroked, humming softly, soothing Luke like his lover was an easily spooked horse.
"No one's touched me in a long time."
"I want to touch you every time I see you," he admitted.
"Can I tell you something?"
"You can tell me anything, baby." Anything. He wanted Luke to talk to him, not hide.
"I had a wet dream about you, Wednesday."
He stilled for a moment, took a breath, and went back to touching gently. "As in you came in your sleep?" The significance of that was huge--Luke had said he didn't get it up anymore, at all.
"Yeah. Woke up all gooey."
"That's great, baby." He'd made Luke come. In his sleep, sure, but it had been him Luke was dreaming about when it had happened. "You can dream about me whenever you want."
"It's something. A start."
"Yeah. It's a good start." He let his hand drift down over the front of Luke's pants.
Luke stiffened, stopped breathing. He hummed softly, nuzzled Luke's neck, but he didn't stop the slow decent of his hand, brushing it over Luke's package.
"What if it doesn't work?"
"I won't be upset." Disappointed, sure, he wanted Luke, badly, but he wasn't going to make Luke feel bad. He pressed a little harder against Luke's pants.
"What about..." Always worried, his Luke. Always.
"Shh." He turned Luke's face, tilted it and took a kiss as he undid the top button of Luke's pants.
"I'm scared."
"I've got you, baby. I'm not going to hurt you." He drew down the zipper.
"But what if I can't..."
"Then you can't." He licked at Luke's lips, pushed his hand into Luke's underwear.
Luke looked at him. "Please, Affie. I... Can we sit down?"
He slowly drew his hand back. "Anything you want, baby."
"I'm sorry. I know I'm a freak. I just... Maybe I should go."
"No, Luke. You're not a freak." He took a risk and picked Luke up, holding his lover against his chest as he headed for the TV room and the big chair there.
He thought that Luke might pull away, but Luke leaned in, lips on his jaw, breath hot and damp. He wanted to cry, he wanted to shout. He wanted his lover back.
Sitting, he pulled Luke in close.
"Can you kiss me?"
Could he kiss Luke? There was nothing he wanted more.
He tilted Luke's chin and brought their mouths together, lips sliding. Soft, quiet, the kiss was like a hug, like being wrapped in a favorite blanket, and when Luke opened, tongue sliding on his lip, it felt like coming home.
He couldn't have stopped the needy moan if he'd wanted to, and he didn't want to. He wanted Luke to know how much he enjoyed this, how much it meant to him. He wanted Luke. Period.
He let his hands slide on Luke's body, touching the sharp angles, the warm skin. He loved the long lines, the way Luke was beginning to fill out, just a bit. He sucked on Luke's tongue, then pressed his own between the lovely lips. One hand cradled Luke's head, tilted his lover so he could taste more. Fuck, Luke tasted like home. Like man. Like love.
Luke shifted, moving to straddle him, to settle in his lap. He smiled against Luke's lips, looking into the lovely eyes as he slid his hands along Luke's back until he was cupping his lover's sweet ass.
"Hey." Luke whispered the words against his lips.
"Hey, baby. How're you doing?"
"I'm nervous, excited, all at the same time."
"Feels good, doesn't it?" He let one hand slide up beneath Luke's T-shirt.
Luke moaned, belly tight. "It does."
He beamed at Luke and deepened the kiss, slowly pulling Luke in closer. Luke relaxed into him, eyes closing. Moaning, he drew Luke tighter still against him, losing himself in the kiss. His hands kept moving, stroking and petting, sliding over Luke's skin.
"I want you, baby. So much." He couldn't not let Luke know how he felt.
"I can feel you."
"Yeah, you make me need like nothing else ever." He knew he was hard. He wanted his lover. Hell, it had always been Luke.
"I'm sorry. I just..."
"Shh. I like wanting you. I like that you make me hard." He wasn't going to push. He wasn't going to hide, either, though.
"You do? You're sure?"
"I'm sure, baby. I mean I'd like it better if you got hard, too."
"Yeah, I guess we both would."
"Yeah." He nuzzled Luke's neck. "You got hard dreaming of me, though. That's a positive sign."
"I wish everything was easier."
"I'm not going to dump you because it's not easy." He wasn't a shallow asshole.
"Still." Luke kissed his jaw.
"Still what?" He wasn't backing down and he wasn't giving up.
"Hmm?" Luke's cheek rested against his shoulder.
"You said 'still.'"
"I did. I still wish things were easier, that I'd been less geeky."
"I like geeky you. I just wish... Well, that you hadn't gone through that." He took Luke's mouth again, kissing all his wishes against Luke's lips. More than anything, he wished that no one had ever even considered hurtin
g Luke.
He decided it was time to share his news. "I talked to the boss last week. We've let Banner Inc go." He wasn't going to work for the man who'd hurt Luke. It hadn't taken him that long to figure out who it had been, once he'd started to look into it.
"What?"
"I'm not doing business with the man who did that to you. If old man Fillian had refused I would have quit."
"But... It's a huge account."
"With an asshole who drugs people and rapes them at the helm. I won't work for a company that associates with a man like that. The big guy agreed."
"Oh. I... I..." Luke started shaking. "I'm going to be sick."
"What? Baby, why? This is a good thing!" He'd thought Luke would be pleased.
"I know. I know. I just... You believe me. You stood up for me."
"Of course I believe you, baby. I would have believed you when it happened, too." He knew Luke wasn't the type to make shit up. And he was the type who looked after his own.
"I was so scared, so stoned. I took HIV tests. I couldn't cope for days."
He held onto Luke. "I'm so sorry, baby."
"Me, too."
"I couldn't be there then, but I'm doing what I can now." He wanted to do more, He wanted to hurt the son of a bitch. Slowly.
"Thank you." Luke sighed, settling against him.
"You're welcome, baby."
"Can we have pizza now?"
He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. Let me call for it."
"Okay. It's been an emotional evening."
"Just a little." He kissed Luke's forehead.
Luke sighed, squeezed his fingers. "Thank you. I know you didn't work with the actual men who raped me, but... You stood up for me."
"I did. I always will." He fished in his pocket for his cell phone.
"Good." Luke slipped off his lap, headed into the bathroom.
He hit the speed dial on his favorite pizza joint and ordered a pizza along with cannolis. They could have those to start with, then the pizza, then the cupcakes Luke had brought.
The sound of his bell rang, startling him. Frowning, he headed for the door. He'd only just called for the pizza, there was no way that's who was at the door. And he was gonna have to talk to security again about people being let in, even if they were the pizza delivery guys.