My Heart Can't Tell You No

by M. K. Heffner

  “It’s okay. It’ll be all right,” he reassured her.

  He removed his pants and underpants swiftly, kicking them off his long legs and onto the floor, then rolled on top of her, throbbing against her as his kiss deepened. His hands moved lightly up her sides, barely touching her, but sending a shiver through the small body beneath him. His mouth moved across her cheek to her ear where his tongue played with the delicate shell. He needed her badly, but waited for some sign that would show she was as ready and wanting again as he. He could feel her fingertips lightly moving up over his sides, tracing over the muscles of his back, his shoulders, his arms. He felt as if he were in heaven, dying in her kiss. His touch moved just as gently over her, his kiss moving along her neck and shoulder. She was so sweet, so addictive. When his mouth moved back to hers and his fingers traced over her breast, quickly tightening her left nipple to a hard stone, her movements turned into an eager invitation as she pressed against him and opened her legs, allowing him to slide between them. He moved his hand to guide himself to her, his entrance slow and forced as he looked down at her. But one attempt wouldn’t allow him complete entrance, her tightness slowly stretching to accommodate his size as he withdrew and entered her again, slowly boring into her warm, moist core. Inch by inch he pumped inside her silky sheath until meeting the obstruction that announced her still-virginal state.

  “Oh, sweet, Jesus,” he breathed against her mouth.

  He grasped her hips, holding her securely as he plunged through the barrier with a final thrust. He felt the searing pain on his back, her nails ripping his flesh as a cry came from the back of her throat. It was such sweet agony as he remained motionless on top of her, panting slightly as he attempted to control himself before moving his gaze back to her again. If he were to continue now it would end far too soon, and she needed time to adjust to the size of him.

  He leaned on his elbows and moved his hands to either side of her, gently stroking her temples with his thumbs, trying to ease that tension that covered her enchanting face.

  “Maddie. Look at me,” he coaxed, bringing her trusting gaze up to him, showing him those eyes that had the power to mesmerize him, those eyes he adored, now brimming with tears. “Don’t cry, Angel, please don’t cry.”

  “It . . . hurts,” she said softly. The simplicity of her reply let him know she was prepared for the pain and willing to work her way through it with his help.

  His smile was tender as he looked down at her. His heart nearly broke at the thought of causing her more pain at that moment.

  “Only for a minute. I promise.” His explanation brought a slight nod of her head, revealing her complete trust in him. “You are my beautiful, beautiful angel.”

  His lips brushed over hers as he worked his way farther into her, withdrawing then slowing, working his way back again, seeing the tightening of her brow as she watched him. A few more slow strokes and the tension started to ease from her eyes, and a few more and he could see she was beginning to feel something new, another, newer kind of ache that didn’t involve actual pain so much as need. Slowly, he felt her relax again then slowly move her hips in sideward gyrations to urge him on.

  “Ah, Jesus, Maddie.”

  His strokes were slow and powerful as her hips began to rise to meet his. Her arousal evident as her mouth mated with his and her hands started to move over his back and shoulders, going down to his waist until they grasped him tightly. She pulled his body down as she trailed her mouth to his neck and sent her lips on a mad exploration of the muscles that supported his head. The urgency of her movements beneath him pushed him on as his hands tangled in her hair and pulled her to where her mouth nipped at his throat and neck. The deep moan that escaped her let him know everything. She arched against him, her teeth biting into him a little rougher than she had been as her body clutched around him. The pain she gave him sent him on a spiraling burst as his body shuddered over her and his final thrusts left him to lie heavily on top of her. Their breathing labored as they clung to one another, limbs entwined, feeling one another’s heartbeats strongly thumping in their chests. Finally he moved to get off of her, but her grip on him tightened.

  “No—don’t leave,” she whispered as her legs slid over his thighs.

  He smiled down at her. Never had he seen anything quite as beautiful as the flushed face staring up at him with her long black hair spread about and messed from his hands. He wouldn’t leave her, not if she didn’t want him to. His movement to get up was purely out of habit—Lena nearly always pushed him away so she could run to the bathroom to clean herself.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Everything felt so right. For once he didn’t feel the need to move to the other side of the bed so he could drift away in sleep. He merely turned on his side and pulled her with him as they held tightly onto one another. This person was an extension of himself. He didn’t need to, or want to, pull away. How long they remained joined, he didn’t know, for the total exhaustion of their lovemaking, plus the alcohol and the events of the past two days sent him to sleep.

  CHAPTER IX

  The coolness of the room woke Joe. At first he almost moved away from the woman’s body he held in his arms, but, as he focused on the black hair his face pressed against instead of the bleached blonde he might have suspected, he pulled Maddie closer. He glanced at the clock; it was only four-thirty and still black outside. If he wanted to keep from freezing he needed to turn up the thermostat. He pulled the blankets around Maddie’s shoulders, then went to the front room, turning off the lights they had forgotten earlier. When he came back, he stopped in the doorway and looked at her. God, she was so pretty and vulnerable as she lay in his bed, her hands drawn up in front of her like a child and her legs curled beneath her. He watched her turn over, to the spot where he had been, then pull the blankets around herself tightly as she wriggled into his spot. She was stealing the body heat he had left behind. He smiled as he leaned against the doorframe. He wasn’t sure if he could ever get enough of the sight of her.

  Why had he ever thought his obsession with her was some child fixation? He knew now it was (and is) a Madelyn Baker fixation. For years he had fought his need for her, but during these past few days he knew it went past her body. Without her standing at his side, he could never have faced the death and funeral of his father. He needed her strength. He knew, now that he had taken her, he would never be able to let her go. He’d remedy that in a few days when he returned north.

  Maddie jerked, then pulled the blankets around herself tightly as she began shivering. He almost went to her but stopped when she tossed back the blankets and swung her feet to the floor. Her eyes were still closed as she stood up; he wondered if she was walking in her sleep. God, he didn’t look forward to that. A lifetime with a sleepwalker would leave him exhausted and probably send him to an early grave. She started walking, but not toward the doorway. Straight into the wall! He had to stifle his laugh when her eyes popped open to see what she had bumped into, then moved her gaze quickly to her nude body. She gasped with shock then grabbed a blanket from the bed and pulled it around herself.

  “Where are you trying to go?” Joe laughed at her.

  Her eyes swung around to him with surprise, the sight of his nakedness sending her glance away. “I—I thought I was home. I h-have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Wrong way. It’s behind me.” His amusement glittered in his eyes as he watched her stand across the room, still not returning his look. “Well? I thought you said you have to go?”

  “I—do. But, could you please . . . . You’re naked.”

  “Yes. I know.” His laughter still sparkled from his eyes.

  He could see his amusement angered her as she stomped past him, but he didn’t mind. He had faced the wrath of Maddie many times as they were growing up, and he was sure he’d face it many times to come. He moved to the bed and slid under the remaining blanket, then lit a cigarette as he waited for her. He heard the running water and wondere
d what the hell she was doing in the tub at four-thirty in the morning, then remembered her shock at his pink-stained fingers earlier. Her embarrassment was undoubtedly flowing steadily at the sight of her legs.

  “Hurry up with that blanket,” he called to her. “It’s still cold out here.”

  “It was so nice out today,” she said sleepily as she slowly made her way into the room.

  “I guess winter’s not ready to let go after all.”

  He put out his cigarette then pulled back the blankets for her to take her place again, but, when she saw the sheets weren’t crisply white as they had been earlier, her face flushed.

  “Maybe we’d better change the sheets,” she suggested quietly.

  “Lie down. It’s four-thirty in the morning. Nobody changes sheets at four-thirty in the morning.” He pulled her down next to him and removed the blanket from her body then spread it over them. “Anyway, I don’t want you up walking into any more walls.”

  “I didn’t walk into it. I stopped just before I hit it. Stop laughing at me!”

  “Come on Maddie. I have to tell ya, this is a first. No other woman has ever walked out of my bed straight into the wall. You’re making this night one memorable event.”

  “Oh, go to hell! I didn’t walk into your wall. I just—bumped into it.” She slid her hand over the muscles of his chest before nestling closer.

  “I thought you just said you stopped before you walked into it.”

  “Well, that’s where the door is in my bedroom. I was still half-asleep.”

  “Admit it Maddie. I had you so bedazzled you didn’t know which way you were going,” he teased as he held her close.

  “Well, where were you? If you would’ve been here I wouldn’t have gotten cold, and then I wouldn’t have had to go to the bathroom in the first place.”

  “I got cold too. Although the heat of last night kept me warm for a while, nothing lasts forever. I got up to turn up the thermostat and turn off the lights.”

  “What about this light?”

  “If you want it off—you go turn it off. It’s cold out there.”

  “Joe, you’re such a gentleman you amaze me!” She pulled away from him.

  “Stay here,” he growled as he pulled her back against him, his mouth holding half a smile. “It won’t hurt to keep it on until we’re ready to get up. Now get to sleep. The sun will be up before you know it.”

  When the sun did come up, both were too deep in slumber to notice. Joe finally awakened and opened his eyes slowly. A sideward glance told him it was close to ten o’clock, but other than that, he remained motionless. His arm was still around Maddie as she lay with her head on his chest, her finger lightly tracing the outline of his chest muscles. By pretending to still be sleeping, he could let her go on with her inspection without letting her shyness get in the way. Her finger circled his nipple, and she released a tiny gasp when it hardened under her touch. Her fascination made her try it with its twin. He felt her smile, satisfied with the result before her fingers moved over the flatness of his stomach and circled his navel, then ran down the thin line of dark hair that ran to the patch below. She hesitated, then slowly let her fingers explore the softness before going on to the flesh that had begun hardening at the beginning of her investigation. She hooked her leg over his, then slowly lifted her head. He closed his eyes quickly, looking at her through lashes that hid his wakefulness. She held an impish smile as she pulled his leg over, being careful not to wake him so she could further her exploration. Satisfied that he was still sleeping, she replaced her head on his chest. Her fingers touched him delicately. Gently she stroked him for an agonizing amount of time before taking a firmer hold and moving with him until he felt her shift her hips up against his side. He knew what she was doing was arousing her as well, as she hesitantly moved against him. Her lips touched the solid muscle of his chest, kissing the lean flesh that had supported her throughout much of the night. They were both reaching a point that was dangerous in such a position. Her reaction to her own secretion embarrassed her enough—if he didn’t do something soon the sheets wouldn’t have only red stains on them.

  “You better watch it, little girl. You could get yourself in trouble that way,” Joe said in a thick voice as he quickly pulled her on top of him.

  Her eyes widened as she jerked her hand away. “How long have you been awake?!”

  “How long did you expect to go on with me asleep?” His smile was lazy as he looked at her. “I’ve been awake since somewhere around—here.” He pointed to his chest.

  He pulled her up until his lips met hers, lightly tasting them before the urgency that throbbed though him made him deepen the kiss. His hands took full advantage of her position as they moved over her backside, kneading and caressing as he pulled her against him, rocking her against the part of him that lay between them. Her tongue curled around his as her body made small twisting movements against him, trying to ease the tension coiling inside her. Finally he lifted her hips, ready for penetration, but after a second’s thought let her down and rolled over until he was on top of her. That position would come later. Her near virgin-like tightness would make penetration nearly impossible unless he was on top. Her legs came up around him immediately, telling him she was past the point of foreplay, but as he guided himself to her, he found that, even in this position, entry would be difficult. One powerful stroke had him in, a stroke that, like the night before, made her nails dig into his back. As he moved slowly inside her delicious tightness, she hesitated only slightly before responding, her eagerness to complete what she had begun evident. They were taken high on their passion, leaving them to fall with only each other to hold onto. They had no doubt that they would be safe.

  “Joe?” Her nails lightly traced his back, sending shivers through him. “Is it—always so . . .”

  “Is it always so—what?” He lifted his head to look at her.

  “I mean—is it always like that?”

  “We’ll just have to wait and find out, won’t we?” He was smiling again. She made him feel so total that he wondered if he would walk around forever like some damn idiot with a perpetual smile on his mug. “Are you planning on doing anything for the rest of the day?”

  Her eyes moved to the clock, then they widened as she twisted beneath him, dumping him on the mattress with a heavy thump. She jumped up from the bed and made a mad dash for her clothes.

  “I forgot! Today’s Saturday!!”

  “Yeah,” he said irritably as he leaned back against the pillows and watched her. “It usually follows Friday. What are you doing?”

  “It’s Mom’s Saturday off.” She rushed into the bathroom. “Oh—Joe!”

  He got up and pulled on his jeans before moving to the bathroom doorway and watching her again wash her legs. “What’s the matter?”

  “I thought—I heard—Joe!” She looked up at him in exasperation.

  “What?” he laughed.

  “I heard this only happens—the first time.”

  “Not everyone is built like you—or me. And those that are don’t always have partners like one or the other. Don’t worry, your body just has to get used to mine. It won’t happen much longer.” He moved to stand behind her. He didn’t know which was more enticing, the sight of her bottom bare, or covered with her shorts as they were now, teasing with only a portion of the fleshy cheeks peaking from beneath the denim as she dried her legs. “You still didn’t tell me exactly what you’re doing.”

  “I told you. It’s Mom’s Saturday off.”

  “So it’s Mom’s Saturday off—so what?”

  “I have to get home before she wakes up and sees I’m missing.” She hastily walked past him to the kitchen where she sat on the floor to put on her sneakers.

  “In case you didn’t notice, the temperature has dropped about twenty degrees since last night. Don’t you think she’ll notice you coming in wearing a pair of shorts?”

  “Oh. I didn’t think of that,” she groaned. “What should
I do?”

  “You could stay here and hope it’ll warm up again by tomorrow.” His eyes sparkled.

  “You’re no help.” She got up and walked past him, pressing her hands into her back pockets as she nervously bit her lip. She looked through the living room window toward her parent’s house.

  “Well, I’d loan you a pair of my pants, but they’d be too big.” He moved to the couch and sat down.

  “I have to get up there soon. The house won’t do itself and if I don’t start before Mom, she’ll do it all alone.”

  “I’ll go up and help—then you can come back here and help me.”

  “No! You can’t go up with me!”

  “Why not?”

  “They’d only have to take one look and they’d know!”

  “So? Would that be so bad?”

  “You don’t understand.” She inched closer as she looked down at him in exasperation.

  He grabbed her waist and pulled her down until she was sitting astride his lap. “I understand. If you have to go, you can tell her you fell asleep down here and I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You wouldn’t be lying.”

  She tilted her head as she looked at him. “Do you want me to come back down?”

  He flipped her back on the couch until he was lying on top of her. “I don’t want you to leave. Are you sure I can’t persuade you to stay?”

  “No, I’m not sure. Do you want to give it a try?” she laughed.

  His mouth met hers in a slow lingering kiss, but before it could deepen, he sat up and moved away from her. “You better go now or neither one of us will get anything done today.”

  He got up and walked her across the room, then kissed her again before she turned and opened the door. The gush of cold air made her turn back to him doubtfully; then with a grimace, she darted out. He watched as she dashed up the road to get out of the wind, wishing desperately it wouldn’t be long before she would return to him.

  The hours that afternoon dragged for Joe. He went through all of his father’s things in the bedroom first, keeping what he wanted and putting what he didn’t into boxes he would take to charity. As he moved to the living room, he glanced up toward the Baker home just in time to see Bob Green’s vehicle start its ascent up John’s driveway then continue on to Jack and Sarah’s house.