My Heart Can't Tell You No

by M. K. Heffner

  She stepped back and tossed her hair over her shoulder as she tilted her head back to look at him. His darkened skin contrasted against the light blue of his opened shirt, making her inhale deeply at the picture of pure virility he presented. The erotic picture of him standing in front of her with the whiteness of his underwear revealing the intensity of his need where she had opened his jeans was stealing her breath away. She looked up at his face, seeing he was watching her just as closely.

  She stood before him, nearly three feet away, as she steadied herself by holding onto a chair against the wall. They watched each other, completely encompassed in the appearance of one another, noting physical changes that had taken place over the past four years. Their attraction was electrifying, both feeling what the other needed. Maddie watched his hand come toward her ever so slowly. In the softest of caresses, it started at her hair before moving down over her shoulder to the top of her chest. His finger stopped momentarily at the mauve-colored strap of her lace bra. Then it moved down, the back of his fingers tracing the cup and continuing down to the center of the bra where the tiny clasp held it closed. His hand paused momentarily before moving down over her flat stomach to her side and over her hip to the string-like band of her matching panties.

  “My God, Maddie. You are breathtaking.” His voice was low, almost as if he hadn’t really meant to say it aloud.

  Maddie took his hand in hers and walked with him to the bed where she moved onto her knees. Sitting on her feet and facing him, she watched him before her. She wanted him. It didn’t matter that he would leave as usual. Tonight he was hers. He moved his hand back to her hair again, enjoying the silkiness of it as it flowed over her shoulders. When she turned her face toward his hand she pressed his palm to her lips, kissing it tenderly, tasting the salt of him, and a low groan came from him. He put his other hand behind her head and coaxed her onto her knees, his lips moving to her forehead, her cheeks and her throat as she pushed his shirt over his shoulders and let it drop to the floor. He turned her until he had her lying on the mattress then sat on the side of the bed with her, watching and looking, taking in every inch of her loveliness. His hand flowed softly over her skin as it opened her bra then moved down and slipped her panties over her hips, sliding them down her legs. He moved to lie next to her, leaning over her, his thumb stroking her cheek as he looked down into her face.

  “When will I ever get enough of you, little girl?”

  She felt her heart lurch at his words. Her hands moved to him, pulling him toward her, showing him that she needed him as much as he needed her. He tasted her mouth, teasing her lips, meeting her tongue as they fed on one another, fueling the fires that had been smoldering in them for weeks. He moved on to her neck, sending kisses over her throat then pausing at the base of her shoulder. His downward movement took him to her breasts, his lips and tongue encircling the hardened nipples and sending her hands to his head as she felt the soft thickness of his dark hair. She knew where she wanted him to touch her, where she needed him to touch her and within seconds his hand slid over her stomach to the softness of those dark curls. He took his time as he neared the area that needed his touch, until her tension-filled anxiousness moved her hips nearer to him. Finally his fingers moved lower, spreading her legs as his mouth moved on her right breast. His lips moved to the top of her stomach, making her moan quietly with disappointment at their absence from her breast. When his tongue circled her navel, her stomach quivered at the new experience, his fingers moving to fill her as his head went still lower.

  “Joe!” she breathed, her body stiffening as she tried to move away from him, but his hands pressed her legs against the mattress, holding them apart for his pleasure.

  “Shhh, little one.” His kiss moved to the inside of her thigh, feeling her legs tremble.

  “Joe . . . ,” she whispered, but the rest of her words caught in her throat as his mouth moved nearer and his tongue touched her, sending splintering jolts through her at its contact. Oh my God—was that a scream? Did I scream?

  Her hands clutched the bedspread as she lost herself in the new pleasure he was teaching her. All her reasons for him to stop evaporated when she heard his deep groan of satisfaction as his hands moved beneath her hips and he shifted between her legs, giving him further access to her. He made her feel as if their act of love was the most natural thing in the world. He was making her aware of more sensations than she had ever felt before, making them more vivid as sounds came from her that she tried to muffle, but the intensity of his mouth pressed so intimately against her moved her past the reason she had to be quiet. His desire was apparent as he savored her, his guttural moanings of such a deep gratification that the mere sound of him amplified her sense of excitement. Her body was moving on its own, turning and twisting as the sensations went down her legs, shooting through her toes. Her hands went to his head, taking in the sensuous feel of his soft hair, pulling him to her as she arched against him. Her fingers clutched him, needing to hold onto something, anything that would keep her from spinning away. The explosion that rocked through her made her oblivious to everything else until she lay motionless, feeling drained and limp as she opened her eyes to see him gently smiling down at her as his hand brushed her hair from her face. His smile didn’t hide the desire flooding through his eyes or the perspiration coating his skin, making it an open invitation she could not resist as she slowly touched his chest.

  “I feel—so much for you, Maddie. And this is the only way you let me show you.” He moved away from her, getting off the bed but continuing to watch her as he removed the rest of his clothes. His movement back onto the bed, then his attempt to move on top of her made her turn away, positive that as spent as she felt there was no way she could respond again so soon. “Don’t turn from me! Not now!”

  She looked up into the eyes so much like both of her sons, knowing she wouldn’t deny him anything. She was destined to love him, and the thought of hurting him at that moment made her arms go around him and pull him close, wanting to comfort him as her mouth moved to his face, gently kissing and nipping at the strong features she adored. She could feel how he was restraining himself until she showed him that her body felt the need to be filled with him. She moved her legs around him, giving him the indication he was searching for. When he moved to his knees, her hand moved down to him. Her unexpected touch stopped him as he gave a sharp intake of breath then moved his hands to her face and looked at her.

  “Maddie, look at me,” he whispered to her, his entrance slow and gentle until her legs tightened their hold.

  She looked back at him, taking in the features of his face, features that had attracted her at a very early age and captured her heart; features that continued to hold a firm grasp on her as their attraction intensified through the years. God, he was beautiful; a virile sexiness that could make her stomach flutter with only a teasing wink from him. Looking at her as he was now she knew she couldn’t have enough of him until their touching was complete, and she pulled him down until their chests were touching. His mouth moved back to hers, his breathing quickening with hers as their kiss heated their passion and desire, bringing their hips together, slowly at first then gradually building impact and tempo until there was no longer gentleness, only a driving force that controlled their search for mutual fulfilment. She hadn’t thought it was possible to feel a climactic end as powerful as his, but as she slowly opened her eyes and stroked the dark hair near her face she knew he could make her feel any way he chose. He was the one who always knew exactly how to touch and play her like his own personal instrument. He was the one who always knew.

  “Jesus Christ, Maddie,” he said breathlessly. “I hope you don’t make me wait another four years for this. I think you’re trying to kill me.”

  Maddie was just in the floating stage of falling asleep when she jerked awake with a start. Her movement woke Joe as he lay behind her, his arm encircling her waist. They had made love nearly thirty minutes earlier.

  �
�What’s wrong?” he asked, sleep sounding in his voice.

  “I don’t know. I have to get up.”

  She threw back the sheet and bedspread, reaching for a robe as she went for the door. She hadn’t checked the boys when she came home that night—something was wrong, she could feel it. When she turned on the boys’ bedroom light she saw Jackie sleeping soundly on his stomach, but a quick glance at Robby’s bed found it empty. She hurried inside the room to see if perhaps he had fallen to the floor on the other side, but he was nowhere in sight. Then she heard the soft voices from her bedroom.

  “What’s the matter, Rob?” Joe’s voice soothed, making her turn and hurry back to her room where she found him carrying Robby toward her bed. Joe must have heard the boy and quickly put on his jeans before going for the child.

  “Mommy’s door was locked and there was a big lizard biting me.” Robby was recovering from a crying seizure as he leaned his head on the man’s shoulder and held his arms around his neck.

  “A lizard?” Joe sat on the bed, glancing up at Maddie and winking his reassurance that the child was all right. “There aren’t any lizards in your bedroom—or here.”

  “There was! He was biting my leg. He was gonna eat it right off!”

  “Well, I won’t let him come back. Mommy and I are here now. We won’t let it get you.”

  “What about Jackie?! It’s over there with him now!”

  “No, Mommy chased it away. Jackie’s safe now, so are you.”

  Maddie moved to her bureau, getting a nightshirt and underclothing as she hurried to the bathroom to dress. When she came back she found them lying beneath the sheet, Robby curled against Joe’s side and sleeping soundly. She paused at the foot of the bed, a combination of pride and jealousy flowing through her. Pride at how good they looked together. This was where Joe should have been from the beginning. And a bit of jealousy at the knowledge that he had just taken her place as her son’s hero and chaser-away-of-monsters.

  “Where did you find him?” she whispered as she stood next to him, not sure she liked the idea of his staying the night now that Robby had found him there.

  “He came in after you opened the door and started for their room. He must have been in the bathroom hiding from the lizard. Lie down, Maddie. It’s late.”

  “In a minute. I didn’t have a chance to lock the front door.”

  She went to the living room, closed the door and locked it, then moved back to their sons’ room. She kissed Jackie and brushed back his brown hair before partially closing the door and returning to her own room where she found both Joe and Robby with their eyes closed. She hesitantly moved to the other side of the bed and lay down, looking over at them before rising on an elbow and bending to kiss Robby’s cheek as she removed his thumb from his mouth.

  “If you’re giving them out, I know another guy who would appreciate one about right now.”

  When she looked at Joe she saw he had been watching her. She pushed some hair back on Robby’s forehead then looked back at Joe, bending to give him a quick peck on the lips, but his hand came up to the back of her head, making her lengthen the kiss. His kiss held neither passion nor desire, but more an emotional possession, and when he finally released her and she pulled back from him, he smiled sleepily as he turned on his side, pulling Robby up until his head was resting on the pillow between them.

  “You look . . . ,” Maddie stopped, not telling him he looked completely at home and so right with her son.

  “I look—what?” He didn’t wait for her answer. “Ya know, Maddie, you’ve got some things I want. And it won’t be long before I get them. Now go to sleep. You’ve already denied me a full night’s sleep. I do have to work tomorrow.”

  She lay on her side facing her child and her children’s father. She knew she had something he wanted—but he seemed to be endlessly teasing her with his knowledge of his rights by paternity. Her children were hers. No one would take them from her, and his latest comment made her all the more positive she wouldn’t let him have the chance.

  CHAPTER XXI

  “Joe. Joe.”

  The whisper came slowly to him, pulling him from a deep sleep as he looked at the room around him then felt the weight of the small body leaning over him. He turned to see Robby leaning against his side, gazing at him.

  “What?” he asked sleepily as he rubbed his hand over his eyes.

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” Robby whispered.

  “You know where it is. Go on.” Joe saw it was still dark, so he pressed his face against the pillow in an attempt to go back to sleep.

  “No. I want you to take me.”

  “Tell your mother to take you.”

  “I can’t. She’s not here.” He jumped on the bed, pulling Joe over onto his back. “Come on! I have to pee!”

  Joe looked at the opposite side of the bed, seeing it empty and knowing he wouldn’t get any rest until he took the boy to the bathroom. He slowly pulled back the sheet and sat up as Robby jumped off the bed and ran for the door.

  “Where is she?” Joe got to his feet, half walking, half stumbling after the child who was already on a mad dash for the bathroom.

  “I dunno.”

  “You finish your business in there. I’ll go look for her.”

  Joe made his way through the hallway and toward the living room, glancing about to find it, as well as the kitchen, dark. He turned back toward the two rooms on the opposite side of the hall from the master bedroom and bath. The first door he opened was a playroom for the boys and the second was their bedroom, but Jackie was alone in that room. Joe went back to the living room again, moving toward the front door to find it closed and locked. When he turned back toward the bathroom and Robby, he saw Maddie lying on the couch fast asleep. He knelt next to her, brushing the hair back from her face.

  “Hey, little girl,” he said softly.

  She opened her eyes slowly, looking at him with sleepy irritation. “What?”

  “This your way of telling me you don’t want me sleeping with you?” His thumb stroked her cheekbone.

  “No.” She turned onto her back. “It’s my way of getting some sleep tonight. Robby was all over the bed. I’d no sooner fall asleep than I’d get a foot kicking me in the butt or a fist flying up and smacking me in the face.”

  “I didn’t feel anything.”

  “Of course not. You were dead to the world. When he moved your way, you’d just reach behind yourself and shove him my way. I felt like I was a bumper inside a pinball machine.”

  “I’m sorry. Did I hurt him?” He smiled at her.

  “No, just kept waking me up. Between you and Robby I’m lucky if I had ten minutes sleep in three hours. So I came out here—and lucky me—here you are again.”

  “So, how was it working for you out here? Before I came out to wake you, I mean.”

  “Better than in there.”

  “Do you want me to go home? You could go back to bed.”

  “No.” It was almost a pout, bringing a smile to him. “Don’t go home, Joe.”

  “Did I tell you how beautiful you are?” he murmured against her lips.

  She was the sweetest thing he had ever known. Right now in her sleepy, disheveled state, he could take her just as easily as the night before when she wore her satins and silks. She could slice him apart with the sharpness of her tongue—but she could warm his heart to near explosion with her smiles and laughter. His kiss would have gone farther but the tapping on the top of his head made him pull away, looking up to see Robby leaning against the couch.

  “Why are you doing that?” Robby asked, watching him closely.

  Maddie sat up quickly, nearly knocking heads with Joe as she pulled her nightshirt down. Joe merely sat back on his heels and looked at the child.

  “Doing what?” he asked.

  “Kissing Mommy like that.” The child showed no anger or jealously, only a curiosity that made Joe hide his smile.

  “Because I love her.”

 
“Joe!” Maddie tried to interrupt.

  “Big people can kiss if they love each other, can’t they?” Joe asked the boy.

  “Can I go back to my bed now? You guys crunch me,” Robby said irritably as his hand rubbed his eyes.

  “Yes, you can go back to bed now.” Maddie quickly got to her feet, taking the child’s hand and heading for the boy’s bedroom.

  “Is Joe gonna sleep here tonight?” he asked as he jumped into bed.

  “Yes.” She tucked the sheet over him. “Does that bother you?”

  “Only when he pushes me away. He wakes me up.”

  “Then he can sleep here?”

  “I like Joe. Goodnight, Mommy.”

  “Night, Baby.”

  Joe watched from the doorway, waiting for her to return as he slipped his arm around her waist and started for her bedroom. The remaining hours of the morning he slept soundly with Maddie resting in his arms. He awoke at six-thirty, glancing at her clock and about to go back to sleep before the lateness of the hour struck him. He was up in an instant, pulling on his socks and shirt. He came back to the bed and sat on its edge as he bent to lightly kiss her lips.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said when her eyes fluttered open.

  “What time is it?” Her hand moved to rest on his thigh.

  “Six-thirty-five. I have to go home and get cleaned up.”

  “You’ll be late for work.”