Blue

by H. J. Bellus

  “Blue, stop.”

  “Sophie, I’m walking back to the dorms, and don’t try to stop me.”

  My left shoulder is dragged back as someone runs into me.

  “Watch where the fuck you’re walking.” I turn to see a group of giddy bitches making their way back to the football team.

  “Are you talking to me?”

  “Does it look like I’m fucking talking to you?”

  This has gone from bad to worse and I have no intention of stopping it. My cheese fries go flying back onto the table as I step right up into the bitch’s face, ready to hammer her. Before I get the chance, Lane drags me outside and probably saves me from being kicked off the cheer team. Through the front window, I watch as she walks her way back to the football team, and then I catch sight of Noah and Tuck and feel all that anger boil right back up.

  Lane spins me around in his arms and begins shaking me like a ragdoll.

  “Get a grip, Blue.”

  “Fine.” I pull back, throwing my hands up in the air. “I’m fine.”

  “Seriously, Tuck is not a bad guy, nor is Noah.”

  “Yep, they’re fucking heroes,” I shout over my shoulder as I walk away from the whole fucked-up scene.

  My phone goes off in my pocket, and when I pluck it out, I see Noah’s name.

  Noah: Are you okay?

  Me: Fuck you

  I type out a quick message to my mom telling her I will be gone the rest of the day and then turn off my phone to avoid any further distractions. I need to clear my mind and get my head right. Holy shit, I’ve never blown up like that in my life, not in public, nor have I ever let that many f-bombs fly. I’m on the road straight to disaster if I can’t get a grip on it. I might as well catch the next flight back to Colorado.

  When I pass a little boutique with bikinis displayed in the front window, I stop in and find one of the cheapest two pieces and decide to walk to the beach. It’s not the same one Noah has taken me to, but I do know of one about a half mile away.

  The beach is quiet, with hardly anyone loitering around. I don’t even worry about not having a towel or the sand getting in my crack as I slide down my workout shorts and peel off my tank top. The lady in the boutique was nice enough to let me change before I left. The sun pounds down onto my skin, tingling it with its heat. I let the waves entertain all my senses as I focus on my breathing and trying to let everything go.

  I don’t want to be angry, needy, desperate, or in love. I just want the old Blue back, but have a feeling deep down that Tuck has placed an invisible curse on me.

  “Is this you, god? Playing a nasty trick?” My voice is weak compared to the roar of the ocean.

  “What do you expect from me?” My voice is louder this time as I raise my hands up to the heavens, waiting for the answer.

  “Fuck me in the goat ass,” I growl as I flop back on the sand and close my eyes. I’m pretty sure the higher powers didn’t appreciate that last part.

  Between the sound of the ocean pounding the beach and the tingle of the sun, my eyes close, and my problems slip away one by one as I drift off.

  Time isn’t a factor, and Tuck doesn’t touch even one thought while I’m out. When I roll over, a stinging sensation shocks my skin, and when I sit up, my whole body is stiff and burned. Reaching in my bag, I grab my phone and wait for it to power on. I skip the several missed text messages and look at the time. I’m stunned to see that two hours passed.

  Crawling up to my feet, I stretch out my kinked body and cringe when I feel the sting of the burn. But it’s almost a delicious, welcomed pain. My phone starts to go off, and I take a quick look at all the texts. I ignore Noah’s and a weird number, but respond to Sophie. I’d hate to mess up their lovemaking schedule since Lane is using his get out of free jail card, after all.

  Me: I’m okay. I’ll be ready to go by 7. Pick me up at dorms?

  Sophie: KK. Noah came and asked about you.

  Me: They are now a hard limit to me…no more talk of them.

  Sophie: KK

  I can’t count how many times I’ve told her that the use of “KK” in speech and text is annoying and absolutely unnecessary, but I guess some habits are hard to break. Nothing drives me more nuts than that use. Ignoring the stupid-ass two letters put together, I make my way out to the water for a quick dip to cool my skin.

  The waves crash into my shins, and it’s a quick eye opener of how ice-cold the water is. I just keep walking deeper and deeper into the ocean, letting the waves threaten to knock me off balance. I fight forward, struggling to stand straight up. By the time I go under, I don’t have the panicked sensation or envision anyone’s face…I’m numb.

  Chapter 13

  Counting Stars blares in the dorm room as I wiggle my lotion-slick body into a tiny black dress from Sophie’s closet. The bastard is tight as hell and hugs every curve, while showcasing my lean, long legs. I’m thankful my lobster red burn has simmered down into a glowing olive tan. The one factor that may talk me out of this dress is the boob region. Man, the girls are perked up and plenty luscious for the viewing.

  It’s the third dress of Sophie’s I’ve tried, and I think it’s the one. I strap on a pair of her blinged out sandals, and by blinged out, I mean they could blind someone in the sun. They’re flats, because with how short this dress is, I don’t need to add any more attention to my legs.

  My platinum blonde curls fall over my shoulders, hiding some skin, so I decide to pin them back, letting my shoulders be visible. I’m not sure if listening to Miranda Lambert’s latest hit, Little Red Wagon, was the best idea while getting ready, but it sure makes my badass come out.

  I touch up my light make-up and let my sun-kissed tan shine through, then send Sophie a quick text telling her I’ll meet her out front. As I step in the elevator and check out my reflection in the mirror, it may be the first time I feel like a college freshman with no cares in the world.

  “Hot damn.”

  Sophie’s not shy or quiet about her excitement as I step out of the lobby into the parking lot. Lane even lets out a low whistle, causing me to blush.

  “Shut up, you guys.” The backs of my legs stick to the leather interior as I try to slide in beside Sophie. Climbing up into a monster truck in a short dress is damn near impossible to do without flashing a shot of my beaver to the world.

  “You’re going to show him.”

  I elbow Sophie with all my might and don’t even feel bad when I hear her let out an umph of pain. “Hard limit, and I’m not kidding.”

  It takes everything to not add the f-bomb in there somewhere.

  “Are those my shoes?”

  “Maybe.” I grin in her direction.

  “Is that my dress?”

  I just shrug.

  “Let me see your panties.”

  Sophie grabs the hem of the dress, trying to rip it up, and I let my head fly back and roll into a fit of laughter.

  “Stop.” I swat her hand. “I’m wearing my own. Thank you very much.”

  “Good, keep your poisonous coochie out of my panties.”

  We both crack up at that. Poor Lane has no choice but to listen, but he’s a smart man, not laughing at any of the jokes. Even Sophie knows they’re borderline, but hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, as they say.

  When Lane pulls up to the party, my body truly goes into overdrive. It’s a similar scene as the first one, but on steroids. I spot other cheerleaders, soccer players, the cross-country team, and several other students. Bodies fill the yard, barely leaving a tiny path up to the house.

  “Everyone have their phone?”

  I know the question is directed at me and shake my head. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Blue, you won’t be fine dressed like that and with your attitude.”

  “Afraid I’ll get lucky tonight, Lane?” I shoot a high arched eyebrow in his direction.

  I slide from the truck and look back at my worried friends and then grab my crotch and give them a little hip thrus
t. “It’s poison, remember?”

  “Do you have your phone, Blue?”

  “No, I don’t, Lane. I am a big girl.” I enunciate every word like an immature, childish asshole. I don’t want to be a royal bitch to my only two friends left on campus who will actually talk to me, but I don’t want to be protected either.

  “Stay close.”

  “Fine. Let’s go.”

  I make my way through the crowd and check over my shoulder every once in a while to see if Lane and Sophie are following. Not only are they following, but they’re right on my heels.

  Sophie puts her hand on my shoulder then yells in my ear, “Go inside.”

  I nod and continue walking, not missing the stares I’m getting from appreciative eyes. It actually feels exhilarating to be noticed when all I thought I wanted was to blend in. A high rushes through me like it used to in high school, and for once I feel as if I fit in.

  When I enter the living room, it’s less crowded than outside.

  “Blue,” a group of female voices scream, and I turn to see my cheer squad.

  I rush to the girls and envelop them in one big hug. Looking around, we are all here…well, except for Stephie.

  “Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d come, so we didn’t ask,” Sara says as she flips back her long red hair.

  “You’re always so serious. You scare the shit out of us sometimes.” Brandi’s comment catches me by surprise and almost hurts my feelings, but I brush it off quickly.

  “I love you. You’re my girls.” And that wasn’t a lie. I spend more time with them than anyone else, including Sophie, even if she were to keep her ass in the dorm room.

  “Want to meet some boys?” Sarah asks, waggling her eyebrows.

  “I’d love to. Lead the way, ladies.”

  I keep my eyes plastered to the girls and refuse to let my vision wander, but when we round a corner, a dark hoodie and sexy brown hair are impossible to miss. Tuck and Noah. Seems the band of brothers are enjoying their last party before the season as well.

  I let out a sigh when we move in the opposite direction, and I refuse to make eye contact with either of the dickheads. Sarah and Brandi bookend me on each side, linking me with their arms, and begin introducing me to an array of men. My head swims while I try to brand their names with their faces, and I actually enjoy it because they’re not all football players, and several of them are dazzlingly gorgeous.

  A tall and tan man steps up and takes interest in me, and I even lean in a couple times to hear what he has to say, even though he’s talking to the crowd. Our group is standing in the middle of a walkway, and I seem to be a roadblock. Everyone keeps bumping into me. Soon Sarah is off my side, and the tall, hunky gentleman is there with his arms wrapped low and resting on my waist.

  I melt into him, tired of being bumped into and knocked around, and find it easier to listen to the conversation. The men in the group are trying to talk the women into a game of beer ping-pong. It’s just not going their way, but is a hoot to listen to.

  “Are you thirsty?”

  “Jay, right?” I look up into his piercing blue eyes.

  He nods down at me.

  “Do I have to play ping-pong?” I smile.

  “Nah, I got the hook-up.”

  “Yes, please, then.”

  “I kind of like this spot, so save it for me.” The vibration of his voice tickles my ear.

  “Sure thing.”

  As he steps back, I slide my legs out as if going into the splits, but stop before I hit the guy who was standing on the other side of Jay.

  “How’s that?” I ask over my shoulder.

  He just sends me a wink as he takes off, and before I turn back to the group, I catch Tuck staring at me, and I can’t help but laugh. I’d be a fool to say the seething look on his face isn’t a bit scary, but he can fuck off.

  I sure in the hell didn’t come here to piss Tuck off, but I won’t pass up on the opportunity either. And if I thought my skin burned before in the California sun, it’s nothing now to the holes I feel Tuck boring into me.

  This group’s conversation is light and very entertaining, nothing too deep, and no brooding athletes.

  “Blue.”

  I turn to see Sophie waving to me from the corner filled with football players, which happens to be the same place Tuck is. I give her a thumbs up and a huge, genuine smile and avoid eye contact with anyone else. She mouths they’ll be there for a bit. I send her another thumbs up, then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

  Jay is holding two red Solo cups with a genuine smile of his own. I’m pretty good at reading energy, and he seems super nice.

  He bends down and asks loudly, “Are you a beer girl?”

  I reach up and nuzzle his ear with my nose. I know I’m being extra flirty and it feels good. I’m not sure if it feels good to be doing it in front of Tuck, or because I’m just acting careless for once.

  “I love beer, Jay.”

  “Here you go.”

  The plastic cup is chilled and feels refreshing on my palm as the sweet scent of beer fills the space between us, but it’s snatched out of my hands before the frothy golden liquid has a chance to hit my lips.

  “Blue.” I look up to Noah, who has weaseled his way in between us. He replaces the beer with a new one and whispers in my ear, “Do not take anything from anyone besides Tuck and myself. Do you hear me?”

  “Fuck off, Noah.”

  “I mean it, Blue. I know you’re hurt and pissed right now, but we are just looking out for you.”

  I see red for the second time in the same day, and I’m pretty sure it’s from his use of the pronoun we. The red sparks to into large flames when I look over at Tuck and see several girls surrounding him. Before Noah can react, I snatch the beer from Jay’s hand and shotgun that bitch. Then I pound the one he handed me.

  “Now you can give Jay that beer and leave us alone.”

  I pluck the beer from Noah’s hand and give it to Jay, and then I turn back to the group.

  “Do you know who that was?”

  “Yeah.”

  “He’s the quarterback.”

  “So?”

  “Are you his girl?”

  “Nope.”

  Jay holds his hands up in the air. “You seem like a nice girl, but I’m not getting involved in that.”

  Jay doesn’t wait for an explanation before he leaves me, so I shotgun the third beer in mere moments and let the magic golden liquid induce a hazy effect.

  “He’s an ass and doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Brandi hooks her arm around mine and tugs me back toward the living room.

  I catch sight of Noah holding yet another red plastic cup, so I stall our progress and snatch it from his hand.

  “Thanks, fucker.”

  Brandi lets out a little giggle, and I’m not sure if it’s from me snatching his drink or calling him a fucker. I know I should share this drink with her, but don’t. When the liquid hits my tummy it burns like a motherfucker, and since all my senses are thrown off, I’m guessing he wasn’t nursing a beer.

  We are thrust into a mass of sticky, sweaty people moving to the pumping music. My body finds its rhythm easily, and in my mind I’m dancing like a fucking star, but I can tell my movements are loose and sloppy. The same DJ seems to recognize us again and makes a big deal about cheerleaders being at the party.

  We once again hop up on a table and bust out some of our best moves, and against my better judgment I slam two more cups of liquid back to quench my thirst and overheated body. At one point, we dance more like we are strippers at some high class club. No clothes come off, but we do leave very little to the imagination. I don’t recognize any of the songs, but I keep up easily with the jamming beat pouring through the speakers.

  The crowd gathers closer around the table as the beat turns sexier, and then hands begin groping at thighs, and I watch as Brandi is pulled from the table. Her smile is evidence that she freely wants whoever just snagged her. Different palms try to
pull me, and I don’t want any of it, so I move toward the other side of the table and feel the same skin on skin action. Then I hear all the vulgar calls through the music. I don’t want to be touched or called these nasty things.

  My head swims through the alcohol, heat, and pouring music. Panic or passing out threaten me as I’m completely dragged from the table in strong arms that I have no chance of fighting. An elbow or two flies back into the solid chest, but I don’t budge, nor does his grip. I flail, my feet trying to connect with a shin, but nothing is keeping this man from taking me wherever he wants. I try to scream, but everything is stuck in my throat as tears flow down my cheeks.

  When I’m pushed through the front door onto the porch, I feel his mouth near my ear.

  “It’s Lane. Stop fighting me.”

  My vision comes into focus and I see Sophie standing next to Lane’s truck beyond the fence. Every muscle is tensed up and ready for fight or flight, but his voice causes me to melt in his arms. Lane readjusts me in his grasp, and my sight is filled with a majestic black sky with twinkling stars blinking back at me. Their brightness and subtle flashing make my stomach lurch, so I close my eyes. The movement of walking and not seeing anything makes my stomach spin even harder.

  “Thank you,” I whisper as he sets me down on my feet.

  It takes a few minutes for me to gather composure enough to walk the three steps to the back door and grip the handle. Without having to look up, I know several people are gathered around, and whether or not they’re staring, it sure in the hell feels like all eyes are on me. I strap on my courage and dig up all my steadiness and go to climb in the truck. And if the last few weeks of my life haven’t been torture enough, I catch sight of Tuck leaning on a chipped white pillar on the porch watching my every move with a little blonde hanging off of his arm.

  With steadier legs than I thought I would ever be able to muster, I step up on the chrome bar and my middle finger goes up without thought or hesitation before I land a belly flop on the smooth leather back seat. A seatbelt digs sharply into my left hip, but it doesn’t faze the hysterical fit of laughter I spiral into.