“Um. Someone has been drinking red wine. You taste delicious.” He kisses me again, and this time he lets his tongue slide in and wrestle with mine for a moment. I can’t close my eyes because when I do I get a little dizzy. “I’m not sure I approve of your dress. Like I mentioned, you look naked underneath. And I know you don’t need an escort; I was just anxious to see you. I missed you today.”
“I missed you too. And I am naked under the dress. I’ve taken a page from your book and stopped wearing panties.”
Julian groans, grabs my hand, and leads me down a hallway and into a big office. I’m assuming it’s his. He locks the doors and turns to look at me. He shakes his head at me. “You are very bad, Lexie. You’re going to make me break a major rule I have.”
“And what rule is that, Julian?”
“The one where I don’t fuck in the hotel.”
I’m totally turned on by this even though I don’t believe it. “C’mon. It’s a hotel, Julian. With beds. It’s a great place to fuck.” The alcohol is definitely making me loose.
He walks toward me, stalking me. I take a step back and bump against his desk. “I told you the first night I made you come. I don’t mix business with pleasure. It’s just you, Lexie. I won’t be able to focus on anything else tonight if I don’t feel you around me. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and either we leave now or we take care of business here.”
“Well I just got here, so I guess if we need to ‘take care of business,’ we just have to do it here.”
I reach over and run my hand over Julian’s crotch. He’s in jeans and a tight-fitting black T-shirt. He looks very casual and very hot. He moans and pushes his hardness into my hand.
“Is getting your dick sucked against the rules too, Julian? Because I don’t want to get in any more trouble.” I ask him the question as I slowly unzip his pants. His massive erection springs out.
“Dios mío, Lexie,” he moans as I get on my knees and take him in my mouth. “Yes, it’s against the rules, but I’m willing to make an exception.”
Julian stands there and looks down at me as I slide his shaft in and out of my mouth. Just as Julian’s learned how I liked to be touched, I’ve learned how best to please him, and I pull out all the stops so he gets the most pleasure out of my blow job. His hands are in my hair, and he grips it tightly as he thrusts himself into me. It doesn’t take long before he’s exploding into my mouth. He finishes, pulls me up, and kisses me hard. He turns me around and has me bend over the desk. I feel his dick against me and push back into it. Julian pulls my dress up around my hips and groans when he finds me panty-less.
“I told you I wasn’t wearing any panties, Julian.”
He groans again. “Please tell me you have a condom in your purse, Lexie.”
I pull my dress down, stand up, and turn and face him. “No, I don’t. Didn’t think I’d need one here. You really don’t have one?” I try to hide my disappointment.
“Like I said, I don’t fuck at the hotel, Lexie. It wasn’t in my plans to do this here, but you came in looking like that, and I couldn’t help it.” He isn’t hiding his disappointment.
“It’s okay, Julian. You can make it up to me tonight at your house.”
“You really won’t be with me without a condom, Lexie? Still? I want you now, baby.”
I shake my head no. I know he doesn’t get it, but I’m just not ready for that. He looks upset for a moment but then lets it go. He reaches down, pulls my dress up again, sits me on the desk, and spreads my legs. He drops to his knees this time.
“I’m going to fuck you later, Lexie, but right now I’m going to taste you and make you come with my tongue.”
I want to ask him if that’s against the rules but lose my ability to speak when Julian’s tongue starts moving between my legs. I’m so turned on and so wet it doesn’t take him long to make me orgasm. When he’s certain I’m done, he stops and stands up. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him for a kiss.
He flashes me a big smile. “Thank you for that, Lexie. I think I might be able to make it through the night now. Let’s go find your friends.”
I smile back. “Happy to help, Julian. Always happy to help.”
I find my friends on the dance floor in Stellar. Julian dances with us for a song and then leaves to go do whatever he does. I give them details of my steamy little encounter, and we toast to great sex with a round of Patrón Silver shots. We dance some more and then toast to good friends with another shot. We dance a little more and toast to a bunch of other random things with two more shots. These shots mixed with the bottles of wine we all had earlier have hit me hard, and by the time Julian comes back a few hours later, I’m no longer buzzed. I’m drunk. So are Marissa, Lauren, and Jenna. Unfortunately, it becomes obvious when he starts talking to us. Julian doesn’t look happy, and I feel a lecture coming on. I try to sidestep it by kissing him. It doesn’t work.
“Are you okay to drive, Shannon, or should I get you a ride home?”
“Nope. I’m good, but thanks. I’ve only had two drinks all night.”
He turns and looks at me. “I’ll have someone take you to my house. I need to stay a little longer.”
“Um. I didn’t know I said I was ready to go, Julian.”
“No, you didn’t, but you should have. You’re drunk and need to call it a night.”
I’m a little mad and a lot embarrassed that this is going down in front of my friends. Two minutes ago, we were all having a great time, and now the mood is somber. It’s like we’re a bunch of teenagers who got caught by someone’s dad. “Thanks, Dad, but I’m a big girl. I know when I need to stop.”
Julian grabs my hand, and I pull away. “Seriously, I’m good, Julian.” I’m so not good. I stumble in my five-inch heels, and he catches me. I’m starting to feel nauseous now too. This is going bad really fast.
He narrows his eyes, and his words come out in a hiss. “You need to go home, Alexa. Stay here and I’ll make arrangements for you to get a ride.” He walks away, and when he does, I grab Shannon’s hand and pull her toward the exit. The other girls follow.
“Let’s go. You can take me home.” I think she thinks she’s taking me to Julian’s house, but I plan on going to my house. He isn’t the only one who’s angry. I’m a grown woman, and I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Shannon is surprised when I tell her to just go home, but she doesn’t argue. Lauren starts going on about how I’m going to be in serious trouble when Julian comes back and finds me gone. Something about the way she says it sobers me up a little. He’s already mad, and this will definitely make it worse. I should at least let him know I left. I pull my phone out to text him, and it rings. I see his face on the screen, and he’s smiling at me. I know happy Julian isn’t who is going to be on the other end of this call. I answer and brace myself.
“Where the fuck are you, Alexa? I can’t believe you fucking left.” Oh this is bad. Julian hardly ever cusses at me.
“I’m on my way home, to my house. You told me to leave, so I did. I didn’t want to wait for you. I’m always waiting for you.” I look up and see Marissa shaking her head at me. She’s whispering for me to get off before I say something stupid.
I hear Julian call my name. Damn. We’re waiting for the car, and I’m unable to make an escape before he finds me. I turn around and see him walking toward me. He looks seriously pissed. I walk toward him and away from my friends. They don’t need to hear this.
“Julian, don’t make a scene. You told me to go home, and I am.”
He considers what I said before he responds. “I’m not going to debate which of us is really making a scene with my girlfriend who’s too drunk to know that she had a guy rubbing his dick into her on my dance floor in my club while I watched.”
Uh-oh. We were all dancing, and there were guys out on the floor, but I didn’t think it was a big deal. I guess I was wrong.
“Fine, Julian. You win. I’m drunk, and I’m leaving. You can lecture me about this tomorrow.”
Surprisingly, he doesn’t argue. “Please text me and let me know you got home okay. Can you at least do that, Alexa?” He kisses me on the forehead and walks away before he hears me say yes.
Alexa: I’m home safe.
Julian: Thanks.
I don’t continue the conversation because I’m too busy running into the bathroom to get sick. I spend most of the night on the cold tile and finally crawl into bed around six in the morning. Thank God I’m able to sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Five
When I wake up at ten, I can hardly move my head. I’m hurting bad. I force myself to get out of bed and get some Advil and water. I crawl back under the covers and check my phone. There are no messages from Julian. I’m glad. Maybe he went home and went to sleep. He does have a photo shoot today. I had told him I was going to be there with him today, but now I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. He got so pissed last night. I did have too much to drink, but I really wasn’t doing anything wrong. I think his main problem is the drinking. I know he doesn’t drink much, but neither do I. Usually. I’m not going to lie. I’ve been drinking more than usual lately. It seems to help keep the memories and nightmares at bay. I’m well aware of the fact it isn’t a great way to deal with any issue, but it’s working right now, so I’m running with it.
I fall back asleep and don’t wake up until after two in the afternoon. I still feel like hell. I get up and head to the living room. Marissa is on one couch, and Jenna is on the other. They look as bad as I do.
“Whose idea was it to drink so much last night?” I joke as I plop down next to Marissa.
They both groan. It was a collaborative effort. Marissa sits up a little. “Have you heard from Julian? I don’t remember much after the third shot, but I do remember him being really pissed.”
“Not today. But I haven’t looked at my phone recently. I’m in no mood for a lecture.”
Jenna chimes in. “Yeah, what’s up with that? Why was he so mad?”
“He said I was letting some guy grind against me. He also isn’t a big fan of drinking, or me drinking, I guess. I really don’t know what set him off.”
We sit there and talk about the night for a little longer, at least what we remember. I need to go to the bathroom, and I grab my phone on the way. Nothing. Shit, he’s still pissed. I go back to the living room and resume my position on the couch. We discuss eating, but nobody can think of anything that sounds good. At about three thirty, I get a text from Luke.
Luke: Hey Hooka. Did you and Julian get in a fight last night?
Seriously? That place is gossip-freaking central.
Alexa: Why
Luke: bc that’s what I heard from some people and bc Julian has been a dick to everyone all day
Luke: and bc you’re a no show
Alexa: It’s all good Luke. Ttyl
Luke: So yes, rumor true and you’re hiding out. It’s cool. you don’t need to tell me.
Alexa: it’s all good Luke. Go make a drink or something.
I really, really don’t want to text Julian, but I know I need to. I pretend like things really are all good.
Alexa: Hey you. Hope things are going well today. Call when you’re free.
It’s six thirty before he responds. I’ve spent the afternoon stressing about it, and I’m almost scared to look.
Julian: It’s all good, Alexa. Isn’t it? I’m busy. Not sure when I’ll be free to deal with this.
Wow. That was rude. Oh well, I tried. If Julian wants to stay mad, he can. I still don’t even know why he’s so mad. I’m curious about his choice of words though. “It’s all good” is what I said to Luke when he asked what was going on. I text Luke.
Alexa: Did you talk to Julian about me today?
Luke: No, why?
Alexa: Not at all?
Luke: We don’t talk about you. Why, Lex?
I don’t answer. I’m not sure what happened, but something did. I swear this is so messed up. I turn my phone off. I don’t want to deal with either of them. I make us some grilled cheese sandwiches, and I spend the rest of the evening watching episode after episode of House Hunters with my friends. I get in bed at ten thirty. I napped on and off all day, so it’s no surprise I can’t fall asleep. I think about Julian and Luke, and then I think about Brady. I’m not good with all this jealousy stuff. I didn’t have to deal with it with Brady. Maybe because at the end I had no clue he was too busy using and cheating on me to pay much attention to what I was doing. I sleep fitfully, and when I do wake up in the morning, I’m anxious and panicky. It isn’t a good way to start the day—especially this day. It’s officially the one-year anniversary of the last night I spent with Brady.
I go for a five-mile run and try to calm my nerves. It doesn’t help like it usually does, and all I can think about as my feet hit the pavement is that I don’t want to feel anything. I get back at ten, take a shower, and turn my phone on. I still haven’t heard from Julian. I decide to try one more time to smooth things over. Maybe if things are okay with him, I’ll feel better. I call instead of text. He answers, and I hear people in the background. He isn’t at home.
“Hey, Julian.”
“Hey, Alexa.” Not “Hey, you.”
“What’s up?”
“Just working.” His voice is cold. I literally feel myself starting to shut down.
“Well then I’ll let you go, Julian. Call me when you have time to deal with me,” I say sarcastically.
His response is flat. “Will do, Alexa.”
Screw that, I think as I hang up and turn off my phone. What the hell. I won’t be calling him again. I grab my keys and head to the mall for a mani/pedi, hoping it will help take my mind off all this drama. It doesn’t, and even hours of shopping for shoes doesn’t help. As the day goes by, I feel sadder and more anxious, and I keep watching the clock. I turn my phone on when I get back into my car and see Julian still hasn’t called. It’s already five o’clock. I was sure I would’ve heard from him by now. He’s trying to hurt me, and I don’t get it. I push back the tears and the feelings of panic that have been hiding in the shadows all day. I’m not going to be able to make it through this night alone, so I call the one person who will understand. I call Luke. He isn’t working and tells me he can meet me at my house in an hour.
I feel better when I see Luke. I don’t have to say anything. He knows what’s going on with me and that I need him to comfort me. We sit on the couch, and I lay my head on his chest. I know what I’m doing is wrong. I should be with Julian. He should be the one comforting me. But he’s not even talking to me. He’s not here, and I need this. Luke understands me. He understands what I went through. We sit there for hours not talking. We’re both lost in the memories of this night a year ago, and as Luke strokes my hair, I let the tears fall.
Chapter Thirty-Six
When Julian walks in at nine, he finds me on the couch with my head on a pillow in Luke’s lap. Shannon let him in, not thinking she needed to give me a warning. I haven’t really told them about the feud that’s been going on between Luke and Julian, so I can’t be upset with her. I hear Julian come in, and I sit up and move away from Luke. He looks at my tearstained face and then at Luke. His body is pulsating with anger. Shannon stays in the room, and I’m glad. I may need backup.
Julian is so mad I can see the veins in his neck popping out. His voice is icy when he speaks. “If you don’t mind getting out of Luke’s lap, I’d like to talk to you.”
Luke stands up and answers before I can. “Don’t talk to her that way, Julian. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
Holy shit. This is bad. “It’s okay, Luke. I need to talk to Julian. Please go before this gets worse. I’ll call you later.” I look at Luke and plead with my eyes. I get up and walk toward the door, hoping he’ll fol
low. He shakes his head.
“Not this time, Lex. I’m not leaving you alone again.”
I freeze and look at Julian. He looks confused. Thank God Shannon jumps in. “Just go, Luke. I’m here. Lexie will be fine.”
He relents and comes toward me. I grab his hand and walk him to the door. I give him a huge hug and tell him I’ll be okay and that I’ll call him later. As he walks out the door, he shoots Julian a deadly look. I turn around and see Julian heading down the hall to my bedroom. Shannon asks me if I’m okay, and I lie and tell her yes. I’m shaking. That was so intense. Before she goes to her room, she gives me a hug and tells me she’s sorry for letting Julian in like that. I tell her this is so not her fault.
When I enter, Julian is pacing back and forth. My room isn’t very big, and he looks like a caged animal. I shut the door behind me and stay standing up next to the door, waiting for him to calm down. I don’t say a word because if I know anything right now, it’s that nothing I can say is going to make this okay to him. I’m not scared of him at all, but I’ve never seen him act this way, and it’s kind of freaking me out.
“Have you been sleeping with him, Alexa?” Okay, so he’s going to just get right to the point. “And I don’t just mean tonight.” His voice is like ice.
Oh my God. He really thinks Luke and I have been sleeping together? And tonight? This is worse than I thought. I try to keep my voice steady and calm.
“No, Julian, we haven’t slept together, ever. How many times do I need to say we’re just friends?”
“Have you kissed him, Alexa? I mean really kissed. I’m being specific here because I’ve been lucky enough to see his lips touch yours more than once.”
I can see the anger in his eyes, but I also see the hurt. He really believes Luke and I have been together recently. I’ve told him time and time again we haven’t, and I don’t know why he doesn’t believe me. We need to put this to rest already.
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