The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People

by David Wallechinsky

  “Peter” Spence divorced Russell in 1952. Later that year he married his old friend Edith Finch, an American teacher and author. Russell, cooled at last from his self-declared inability to damp his “abnormally strong sexual urges,” finally enjoyed a successful marriage. And Colette sent him red roses on his last birthday.

  HIS THOUGHTS: “It is better to control a restrictive and hostile emotion such as jealousy, rather than a generous and expansive emotion such as love. Conventional morality has erred, not in demanding self-control, but in demanding it in the wrong place.”

  “It is clear that the Divine purpose in the [Bible] text ‘it is better to marry than to burn’ is to make us all feel how very dreadful the torments of Hell must be.”

  —J.E.

  An Open “Marriage”

  JEAN-PAUL SARTRE (June 21, 1905-Apr. 15, 1980)

  HIS FAME: French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre produced nine plays, four novels, five major philosophical works, and countless articles on every conceivable subject. As a major proponent of existentialism, a philosophy that holds that people are responsible for their actions, even in a random, absurd universe, Sartre had an international influence on the post-WWII generations.

  Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir

  HIS PERSON: Born the son of a French naval officer who died a year after Sartre’s birth, the philosopher was raised by his mother, Anne-Marie Schweitzer (a first cousin of Albert Schweitzer’s), in his grandparents’ Parisian home. A timid, ugly child, Sartre had virtually no childhood friends and retreated into fantasy, especially after he discovered books at the age of four. Reading, writing, and studying occupied Sartre’s youth. Even though he was over-protected by his mother and dominated by his authoritarian grandfather, he developed a strongly assertive personality.

  After he entered the École Normale Supérieure, Sartre rejected his mother’s and her parents’ influence and middle-class way of life. After graduating, he became a leftist schoolteacher and writer. While serving in the French Army as a weatherman in 1940, he was captured by the German invaders and put in jail. Six months later he was released and joined the Resistance as a propagandist. After WWII, Sartre’s genius flowered and his reputation—based on plays like No Exit and novels such as Nausea—became international.

  Politically, Sartre was associated with communism and advocated proletarian revolution. He wrote political pamphlets, demonstrated, and even rioted. After the Hungarian Revolution of 1956, he broke with the Stalinists and later drifted toward Maoism. In 1964 he was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature, but refused it because he felt it was being offered by the forces of conservatism.

  A man who had renounced materialism for the world of ideas, Sartre, who chain-smoked and constantly took amphetamines, died of pulmonary congestion after a heart attack in 1980 at the age of 74.

  SEX LIFE: At 19, Sartre met named Camille at a public gathering. The 22-year-old Camille had been seduced by a family friend as a child and had worked in brothels since the age of 18. For four days and nights the young lovers stayed in bed, until relatives finally forced them apart. Their relationship lasted on and off for over five years, until Camille tired of Sartre’s poverty and found a wealthy older lover.

  In 1929, while in college, Sartre met Simone de Beauvoir, an intelligent and attractive fellow student who was to become a famous feminist writer. Sartre was infatuated, and Simone was overwhelmed by the 5-ft. 4-in, walleyed man with the tremendous intellect. They quickly became lovers and began a relationship that would last over 50 years. However, Sartre hated what he called “bourgeois marriage” and renounced the institution along with parenthood. During the early years of their romance, Sartre and Simone discussed extensively their ideas about love, commitment, marriage, and sex. They agreed that their relationship would be an open one in which they would support each other in times of need, but also allow each other “contingent loves.”

  In 1934, while studying in Berlin, Sartre exercised his rights for the first time and had an affair with Marie, the young wife of another student. Back in Paris for Christmas, Sartre informed Simone of the affair. By February, Simone told the supervisor where she was teaching that she was having a nervous breakdown and needed a leave of absence. Heading directly for Berlin, she met Marie, and her fears were removed when Marie and Sartre explained that theirs was only a temporary relationship which did not threaten Sartre’s commitment to Simone.

  Back in Paris, Simone took one of her students under her wing, tutoring her and allowing her to live in her apartment. When Sartre returned to Paris, he also took a liking to this Russian emigrant teenager named Olga Kosakiewicz. At this time Sartre experimented with mescaline and for months after had temporary hallucinations. Olga would accompany Sartre on walks during which he would vividly describe giant lobsters that were following them. This nurse-patient relationship developed into a sexual relationship and a subsequent living arrangement that included Simone. In her autobiographical novel, She Came to Stay, Simone tells how the younger woman usurped her lover and states, “There is something absolutely valid and true in jealousy.” Finally, after four years, Olga found another lover and left Sartre. However, Simone and Sartre continued to support Olga, emotionally and financially, for the next 30 years.

  During the second half of the 1940s, Simone had an affair with American writer Nelson Algren. This affair seems to have rid her of jealousy and also rejuvenated her sexually. She wrote, “His lust transfigured me; I who for so long had had no taste, no form, I again possessed breasts, a belly, a sex; flesh.” At the same time Sartre, who never seems to have been afflicted with any jealousy, had an affair with a New York woman identified only as Dolores.

  Although they had their “contingent loves,” Sartre and Simone always nurtured their own relationship. But during the 1950s the couple moved farther apart then they had ever been before. Simone developed a relationship with Claude Lanzmann, a journalist who was 17 years younger than she. Although de Beauvoir and Sartre still traveled together, Simone lived with Lanzmann.

  Sartre, who constantly sought female companions, explained his behavior by stating, “But the main reason I surround myself with women is simply that I prefer their company to that of men. As a rule I find men boring.” Therefore, while Simone was cohabiting with Lanzmann, Sartre chose as his companion a 17-year-old Jewish Algerian girl named Arlette Elkaim. When Sartre almost married Arlette to protect her from deportation and because he thought her pregnant, the relationship between Sartre and Simone was nearly destroyed. However, Sartre did not marry the girl but instead adopted her, which improved communications with Simone.

  After Lanzmann left Simone in 1958, Sartre and she became constant companions, more deeply in love than they had ever been before. During the last two decades of Sartre’s life, they traveled together and took care of each other. Their unique, 51-year love affair ended when Sartre died with Simone at his bedside.

  HIS THOUGHTS: “The association of a man with a woman always has sexual implications.”

  “Relations with a woman—even if one is not sleeping with her, but if one has slept with her, or if one could have—are richer.”

  —R.J.F.

  Pessimist With Passion

  ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (Feb. 22, 1788-Sept. 21, 1860)

  HIS FAME: Called “the Philosopher of Pessimism,” Arthur Schopenhauer is best known for his book The World as Will and Idea, in which he challenged the dominant idealism of his time with the concept of the “will to live” as the prime mover of human life and the basic cause of human suffering.

  HIS LIFE: Physically, Arthur Schopenhauer fit the stereotype of a serious philosopher, small and slightly built, with a large head and piercing blue eyes, and always well dressed. He was a man of intense moods, extreme pride, and little patience for anyone who dared to disagree with him.

  Both his parents were headstrong, intelligent, and short-tempered. His mother, Johanna, was jealous of her son’s talents, and they fought constantly. Onc
e she threw him down the stairs in a fit of rage. His father, Heinrich, was a stern, successful Danzig businessman who apparently committed suicide in 1805. Schopenhauer had admired his father and tried to continue the family business, but he hated it. When his mother encouraged him to study philosophy, he eagerly became a student. The widowed Johanna moved to Weimar, “the city of poets,” where she became a popular novelist and salon hostess. Although disapproving of her “frivolous” lifestyle, the young Schopenhauer followed her to Weimar in 1813. He was shocked to find a young man, Müller von Gerstenberg, living in her house. Despite Johanna’s insistance that theirs was a platonic friendship, in her son’s eyes she had committed a grave sin: indiscretion. He told her, “Choose between Von Gerstenberg and me!” She chose Von Gerstenberg, and Schopenhauer never saw his mother again.

  LOVE LIFE: At the same time he was battling with his mother in Weimar, Schopenhauer had a quiet affair with Karoline Jägermann, leading actress at the Court Theater and the recognized mistress of Duke Karl August. Few details are known of their relationship, except that Schopenhauer thought of her more romantically than of any other woman in his life. He wrote, “I would take her home though I found her breaking stones in the street.”

  When The World as Will and Idea was published, Schopenhauer moved to Italy. There he indulged his strong sensual nature. Believing that sexual passion was “the most distinct expression of the will,” he gave it free rein, admitting, “I am not a saint.” In Italy, where “the only sin is not to sin,” he met a rich, distinguished, and beautiful woman, known today only as Teresa. He considered marriage, meticulously weighing her faults and virtues, but decided against it when she embarrassed him publicly by swooning over another man, Lord Byron. Schopenhauer wrote, “I was afraid of the horns of cuckoldry.”

  Schopenhauer returned to Germany to teach at the University of Berlin, but his lectures drew minuscule audiences. In Berlin he was sued for personal injury by a middle-aged seamstress, Caroline Marquet, whom he had physically thrown out of the anteroom of his apartment because she had repeatedly irritated him by sewing there. She won the case, and he was forced to pay damages for the rest of her life. After the incident, he left again for Italy. His misogyny was becoming more apparent as he made love to many women, regarding them all with contempt. For him the sexual impulse was “a demon that strives to pervert, confine, and overthrow everything,” and he held women accountable for the resulting havoc. His philosophy explained love as a deceit played by Nature to suit her only purpose: procreation. “It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to the undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.” Despising and pitying women, he saw them as possessing only one virtue: the allure of youth, soon to fade after the pretty face and full breasts had enticed a man into marriage. He could be charming, though, to the younger and prettier ladies, with his mastery of languages and literature and occasional magic tricks.

  After one happy year he retreated to Munich, deathly ill with syphilis. Bedridden for many months, Schopenhauer feared the disease would destroy what he valued most: his mind. Recovered, he wrote an article in which he presented his theory of tetragamy. The theory advocated that two men share a woman as a wife until she was past childbearing age. At that point they should marry a second young woman, while continuing to care for their first wife. Later, his essay “On Women” (published in book form as Parerga in 1851) established for all time his reputation as a woman hater.

  Yet, he never banished women from his life. In his journal he wrote of a “Fraulein Medon,” an actress of great charm. He courted and won her and again thought of marriage. In his careful analysis, she was “quite satisfactory” either as a lover or as a wife. But once again his caution and cynicism emerged. He was in love, but he was also a philosopher. His pessimism won and the notion of marriage was dropped. For Schopenhauer, absolute confidence in the immortality of his work was more meaningful than any children he could have left behind. He died alone, at 72, of a lung hemorrhage.

  HIS THOUGHTS: “The relation of the sexes is the invisible central point of all action and conduct. It is the cause of war and the end of peace.” Even though Schopenhauer resented his desires, he never denied them. “The more I see of men the less I like them; if I could but say so of women too, all would be well.”

  —C.L.W. and L.S.

  XVI

  Play For Pay

  The Epicurean Delight

  NINON DE LENCLOS (May, 1620-Oct. 17, 1705)

  HER FAME: Ninon was the most celebrated French courtesan of her day. She lived according to the philosophy of Epicurus, placing more importance on the quality of life’s pleasures than on the quantity. Still, in a span of 20 years she managed to fill her carnal dance card with the names of 4,959 men.

  HER PERSON: Ninon’s father was a musician and a pimp who educated his daughter in all things worldly. By age 12 she could dance, play the harpsichord, and appreciate good literature. In addition to the social graces, Ninon studied the complexities of human relationships, both sexual and platonic, and resolved early on to resist the traditional female role. “I soon saw that women were put off with the most frivolous and unreal privileges, while every solid advantage was retained by the stronger sex. From that moment I determined on abandoning my sex and assuming that of the men.” Her parents died before she turned 20; fortunately, she was more than prepared to face the cold, cruel world alone.

  Financed by admirers, Ninon established a salon in Paris, where she entertained the most prominent literary and political figures of 17th-century France. In addition, she founded a “school of gallantry” for aristocratic boys, whom she taught basic Epicureanism and the art of pleasing a woman. “Men lose more hearts by awkwardness than virtue preserves,” she told her young pupils.

  Her looks were striking—a perfect oval face topped by reddish-blond ringlets; thick black eyebrows and dark eyes; and a body that inspired poets and painters. According to legend, she was visited on her 18th birthday by a mysterious old man, who offered her a choice from among three gifts—the highest rank, immeasurable riches, or eternal beauty. Supposedly, Ninon chose the last and lived her 85 years like an unfading rose. In truth, she aged gracefully, but she aged nonetheless. When she died, she punctuated her long career as a progressive thinker with one last gesture—willing money for books to young Voltaire.

  SEX LIFE: Ninon loved eroticism but shunned outright debauchery. To her, lovemaking was an art, not to be sullied by low behavior. Her salon was not a hotbed of free love. On the contrary, it was quite respectable to be a member of Ninon’s inner circle, where art and philosophy were the principal topics of discussion. She did not sleep with all her admirers. The playwright Molière and the philosopher Saint-Évremond, for instance, maintained only a platonic relationship with Ninon. The rest of her male friends fell into three groups—payers, martyrs, and favorites. The payers supported her in exchange for visiting rights, but their visits were rare because Ninon did not favor these men. When she eventually achieved financial independence, she dismissed her payers. The martyrs haunted her salon and awaited her caprice, while the favorites shared her bed for as long as she willed. Ninon routinely broke off her affairs at their peak. This way, both she and her lover retained nothing but pleasant memories of the relationship.

  Ninon’s disregard for religion prompted King Louis XIV’s mother, Anne of Austria, to have her confined in a monastery. Ninon’s friends quickly obtained her release, but there is no evidence that she was in a hurry to leave. Of her nearly 5,000 recorded lovers, 439 were monks.

  It was rumored that Ninon maintained a very active love life until her death. Actually, she retired as a courtesan at about age 50, thereafter amusing herself with occasional sexual adventures.

  SEX PARTNERS: When Ninon was a tender 15 years old, she succumbed to the persuasive powers of a man named Saint-Étienne, a notorious seducer of virgins. However, once Ninon lost her virgini
ty, Saint-Étienne was no longer interested in her. She next became infatuated with the handsome Chevalier de Raré, who charmed her with his soulful eyes. They vented their passion when and where they could, pausing once in a doorway to kiss and grope one another while a beggar looked on. Ninon broke off the affair when her mother’s health began to worsen and there was little time left for romance.

  After her mother’s death, Ninon began to accept money from her first “payer,” Coulon, a drunkard whom she found disagreeable. At about this time, she met her first real love, Gaspard de Coligny. To her great disappointment, she found Coligny completely inadequate as a lover, lacking both stamina and technique. She later learned that Coligny was more enthusiastic in bed with his own sex. He eventually left her to return to his “pretty boys.”

  Determined to place in her favor the odds of finding a virile lover, Ninon simultaneously carried on affairs with the Abbé Dessiat and the Maréchal d’Estrées. However, when Ninon became pregnant, the question of paternity had to be settled by a toss of the dice. Thus, the Maréchal d’Estrées was named as father of Ninon’s first child. She was said to have also given birth to a child by the Chevalier de Méré, who was over 70 years old when he courted her. Advanced age was seldom a barrier to Ninon, who reportedly had the power to resurrect even a long-dead libido.