Deceiving The Corsair

by Dixon, Ruby

  Because I sure keffing miss him.

  My hair twitches again, and I reach out to brush it away from my face—only to encounter something cold and slimy. With a gasp of horror, I pull a blue noodle from my hair. What the kef…

  Behind me, Adiron snickers.

  I turn and fling the noodle across the bridge at him. “You are such an ass!”

  He dodges my throw and plucks another from his bowl, slurping it up without using a utensil. “You gonna make me pay for it?” His tail flicks a challenge on the nearest wall.

  I glare at him and turn back to my monitors. “No. Leave me alone.”

  This time, Adiron gives a gusting sigh. “You are no fun anymore, Zo.”

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you,” I snap at him. “I’ll try to be more entertaining.” I find another piece of noodle on my shoulder and flick it away. “I had no idea that was part of the keffing job.”

  “It’s not. I’m just wondering how long you’re going to mope over this male.”

  Just thinking about Sentorr makes me want to cry again. “Until it stops hurting.” My voice sounds wobbly, even to my own ears.

  “Have you tried talking to him?” I shake my head and he continues on. “Don’t you think you should? I bet he’s miserable, too.”

  I turn and look over my shoulder at my big, beefy brother. Of all three of them, I’m closest to Adiron. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s got a good heart under there, somewhere. “Are you giving me love advice? In the last ten years, have you even met a woman that’s not a space hooker of some kind?”

  He just grins at me. “I know how it feels to get your heart broken, that’s all.”

  “I bet you do,” I mutter, starting another calculation once one finishes. “Every time they ask you to pay for the keffing instead of giving you a freebie.”

  His laughter howls through the bridge. “Sentorr know you’re so feisty?”

  I shoot him the finger, an Earth gesture that’s still incredibly appropriate.

  He only laughs again, and it’s clear that my prickliness is entertaining to him. “I’m just saying, you’re only making yourself miserable. If you want this male, go and get him. We checked him out and he’s acceptable, so you don’t have to worry about that part.”

  Acceptable? I frown at my screens, tapping away to run the same query again just to keep my hands busy. “What are you talking about?”

  “Mathiras had his buddy that’s at the credit company run a scan on his financial records. They’re flush, which is good. He can buy you a ship if he needs to. Kaspar pulled his identity through three different security databases and the last records they have of him is when he was in the military. No warrants for arrest, no sketchy past history, no mate back on Homeworld.”

  I slowly turn in my chair, glaring at Adiron. “I can’t believe you did that. You guys were checking up on him?”

  Adiron snorts and sets his bowl down on the nearest surface. “I can’t believe you thought we’d leave you with him for a few days and not check that sort of thing first.”

  “I’m a big girl,” I protest.

  “You are, but you’re also our little sister and we look out for you.”

  Hot tears blur my vision once more. He’s wonderful. They all are…and that’s precisely the problem. They’re so caring and amazing that I can never leave them, even if I feel hollowed out inside from missing Sentorr. “Just…tell me this gets better. That this hurting goes away. That I’ll forget about him at some point.”

  Adiron gets to his feet. He moves to my side and puts a hand on my shoulder in a comforting squeeze. “I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell you it gets better anytime soon, because I met a girl once and thought she was my mate. Turns out she was a liar and a cheat and already had a male. Lost my faith in all females after that. So no, I can’t tell you it gets better. When we love, we love with all of our hearts and everything we are. But you know what I can tell you?”

  I swipe at my eyes, sniffing. “What?”

  “You’ve got a noodle in your ear.” Before I can ask what he means, he shoves another cold, slimy noodle at me, ignoring my squeals of horror.

  As pep talks go, it’s not the best, but he’s trying.

  14

  SENTORR

  My heart leaps in my chest when I see the hail from the Little Sister. It’s early afternoon, which is unusual for Zoey, but I’m alone on the bridge anyhow. It was Kivian’s turn to spell me, but I chased him off, telling him to spend time with Fran instead. It’s not like I’m good company, and I find myself too restless to sleep these days. So I work. I chart sample flights on paths I’ve already gone down a thousand times before in the hopes of new information. I route and reroute the Fool a dozen times an hour.

  And now, all the waiting’s paid off. For three long weeks, I’ve hoped that Zoey would contact me and tell me she’s changed her mind. That she can’t bear to be apart from me either.

  I answer the comm with joy leaping through my chest…only to feel it crash when Kaspar’s blue face peers into the vid screen. He nods at the sight of me, and then elbows someone off-screen. “He picked up. Get in here, you two.” With a tap, the vid widens and then I’m looking at all three of her brothers’ faces.

  Fear clenches my gut. Something bad has happened. “Zoey. What’s wrong with her? Tell me where you’re at and I’ll be there immediately.” It doesn’t matter what the situation is, or that we’re en route to Kivian’s brother Jutari’s backward planet to pick up our new warbird. Zoey needs me.

  “Calm the kef down,” Kaspar says. “We just need to talk to you.”

  “You look like shit,” Mathiras adds.

  “Baked shit,” Adiron agrees. “I see it’s not just Zoey. She misses you, you big dumb bastard. Why’d you let her go if she’s your mate?”

  I rub a hand over my brow. “Zoey’s all right?”

  “If by ‘all right’ you mean heartbroken and weepy and not herself? Yeah, she’s keffing fine,” Kaspar growls, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “She barely sleeps anymore and she’s like a ghost. All because things didn’t work out with you. I want to know what you said to her.”

  They blame me? Instead of being offended, I’m touched. These three men really do care for their sister in the best way. She’s lucky to have them. “I believe my exact words were ‘don’t go’ and ‘stay.’”

  They look at each other. “Explain,” Mathiras says.

  “Zoey is perfect in every way. She has my heart and I let her know it. But she won’t be with me because she feels she owes you her life. She feels she cannot abandon you. That you need her as a navigator and a sister and for her to seek her own happiness would be betrayal.”

  Mathiras frowns. Kaspar rubs his chin, thinking. Adiron just rolls his eyes.

  “She’s not happy,” Mathiras finally says. “That’s all we’ve ever wanted is for her to be happy. Doesn’t have to be with us. We’ll support her in whatever choice she makes.”

  “And Zoey thinks her choice has to be us.” Kaspar rubs his chin again, thoughtful. “We need to give her back her choices, then.”

  I grip the edge of the control panel, trying to keep my eagerness hidden. Zoey. I’d give anything to see her again. “Tell me what you have in mind.”

  15

  ZOEY

  I stare at the tired woman in the mirror, wondering how long it takes for a broken heart to stop showing on my face. It’s been a month since I saw Sentorr. A month with a shattered heart in my breast. A month since I decided to give up any hope for love. A month since I’ve heard Sentorr’s smooth, liquid voice and had it send shivers up my spine.

  It’s been harder than I thought.

  Silly me, I assumed that I’d return to the ship and everything would go back to normal. That I’d take up my duties and forget all about our in-person flirtation. Except…I can’t. I can’t concentrate because I can’t stop thinking about Sentorr and his kiss. The way it felt when he touched my face. His mouth
, his smile, the way he holds himself so very erect as if he’s got a ruler strapped to his back. Even that I find sexy.

  And now that I’ve experienced a taste of what it’d be like to be loved, I can’t go back to the way I was. I can’t forget him. I can’t forget how it felt to be kissed, to be caressed, to be held in his arms. I can’t forget how it felt to be LOVED. I turned my back on that and it feels as if there’s this big aching hole in my chest and I’m just walking around wounded all day. When I close my eyes at night, I think of all the things I could have said to him, the ways I could have touched him.

  He was my chance at love. I don’t want anyone but him.

  I feel so much regret that I had to choose the way I did. I love my brothers, but it’s a different kind of love than what Sentorr can give me, and it’s not enough.

  How stupid am I that I thought it would be?

  Before I met him, all I wanted was that flirtation. That sweetness to look forward to during long, quiet nights. The company. The affection.

  I don’t have any of it now. Sentorr’s gone quiet and I can’t contact him, because I know if I do, he’ll ask me to return to him. I want to desperately, but I can’t. So I hide my feelings, hoping that they’ll fade in time, and I go through the motions. At least, I try to. I’m not sleeping, though. Every time I lie down I think of Sentorr. Is he as sad as I am? As miserable? Or has he already forgotten me? Is he finding some pretty mesakkah hooker on a station to ease his troubles? I doubt it, but my mind likes to have me imagine the worst. I would want him to be happy if I couldn’t be with him, right? Theoretically I should, but the thought of him being with someone else makes me want to scratch their eyes out.

  Which just makes me feel worse.

  I splash water on my face and give one last hearty glare at my reflection before toweling off and heading out of my quarters. I tug my hair back into its regular ponytail and yawn as I head to the bridge. I need some night tea to get me through another evening without Sentorr. Night tea and a whole lot of tissue.

  Of course, when I get on the bridge, I forget all about tea or anything else, because there’s a massive warbird directly in the line of sight of the windows, and we’re heading right for it. I make an outraged sound and race to my station, where Kaspar’s napping, his head pillowed on the control panels. “What the kef are you doing?”

  He lifts his head, blinks, and then rubs his eyes. “Napping?”

  “We’re on a collision course for that ship, you idiot,” I snap, pushing him out of my chair and pulling up screen after screen. We’re not off course, which means that this was planned. I glare at Kaspar again for being so careless as I begin to reroute the thrusters and pull up information on the ship in our sights.

  Homeworld Class II warbird, now privately owned, my screen reads. The Jabberwock.

  Kaspar peers over my shoulder. “What’s a jabberwock?”

  “It’s a human thing,” I snap at him. “Did you intend for us to hurtle right towards them? Or are you just that careless?”

  He scratches his head and then grins at me. “…Yes?”

  I make another outraged sound, slap my earpiece into my ear and then send an audio comm request to their navigator. “You’d better hope I can fix this! As it is, we’re going to be scraping their hull in about five minutes flat.”

  “Huh,” is all he says, and makes me want to choke him.

  Keffing idiot. This is why I can’t leave them. This—

  The Jabberwock connects to my comm request. “Hail, Little Sister,” says a smooth, familiar voice that makes my knees weak. If I wasn’t sitting down, I’d be collapsing. As it is, I feel dreadfully close to falling to the floor in a boneless puddle.

  “Sentorr?” I whisper. “What…?”

  I turn to look at Kaspar. He’s got his arms crossed over his chest and he’s just grinning. As I stare, he reaches over me and overrides the reroute on my screen. “Prepare to launch the docking tube for cross-ship meeting.”

  Cross-ship meeting? I just stare dumbly as the Jabberwock accepts the request, and we smoothly pull up alongside the warbird. “I…don’t understand,” I finally manage.

  “We need to resolve this with a face-to-face meet, Zoey. Permission to come aboard?”

  “Um, granted,” I say weakly.

  “See you soon,” Senorr tells me and then disconnects.

  I whirl about in my chair, giving Kaspar an accusing look. “What the kef is going on?”

  “Weren’t you listening? Ship-to-ship meeting,” he says, whistling to himself as he saunters away. “You should probably hurry. Tube’s gonna be connected in no time.”

  I manage another choked sound before I race out of my chair and head to my quarters. Oh my god. I’m wearing a stained standard-issue jumper. I furtively smell the armpit as I plunge into my room, then dig around in my laundry for something fresh. Kef. Kef. Kef. Why didn’t I wash my hair today? I touch it and it feels frizzy and tousled, and I dash toward the lavatory instead, abandoning all thought of changing clothes when nothing leaps into my hands. I moan at my reflection, because I have circles under my eyes and I’m so, so pale. My hair’s a mess.

  To think that Zoey of a month ago didn’t want to wear makeup or fix her hair to please a man. That Zoey was obviously full of lies. I smooth my fingers over my face, then wet them in the sink and try to pat down the worst of my flyaways in my hair. Sexy, I’m not. I look like any other unwashed, overtired navigator on a flight mission to the Outer Rim…which is what I am.

  But this is different.

  This is my man coming to see me again. I need to be so stinking pretty that he’ll be overcome with passion and sweep me off my feet. Of course, that’s probably not Sentorr, I think wryly to myself. He’s more the type to stare down at me coldly and then demand that I kiss him.

  Which is still freaking hot.

  Nervous, I try to fix my hair one last time. The docking chime sounds overhead and I race back out of my room and down the winding halls of the Little Sister, toward the ship-to-ship hatch.

  I lurch forward, past my brothers who are lined up in the narrow hallway, just as the hatch opens and Sentorr steps inside. He’s larger than life, taller than I remembered, and so gorgeous and proud that I croak like a frog at the sight of him. Somewhere behind me, Adiron snickers. I don’t care. He’s here. My Sentorr’s come back. I stand in front of him like an adoring idiot, hungrily devouring the sight of him. As he steps forward, though, it occurs to me that he’s on the wrong ship.

  Oh no.

  Oh no, maybe this isn’t a good thing after all. “What happened to the Fool?” I blurt out, suddenly terrified. Has his crew been killed? Are they being hunted? “Do we need to hide you? Or—”

  Firm hands grasp my upper arms and Sentorr shakes his head at me. “Calm yourself. Everyone’s well. No one’s being hunted.” He pauses. “At least not on this end of the galaxy.”

  “Where’s your ship? Why are you here? How did you—”

  “Let the man speak, Zo. Kef me.” Adiron nudges my shoulder. “You’re freaking out on him.”

  Am I? I am. I blink rapidly, full of emotions. “Sorry.”

  “Actually, I didn’t come here to speak,” Sentorr says, looking down at me. “I came to do this.” His tail curls around my waist, locking around me, and then he pulls me close and his mouth descends on mine. His kiss is scorchingly hot, full of promise and need and lust and all of the good, yummy things I’ve been longing for in the last month, all the things I thought I’d never get. I whimper against him, my hands curling in the front of his uniform and I don’t know who’s clinging to who, just that we’re locked together and I never want to let go.

  Adiron makes a gagging sound somewhere behind us.

  “That’s my sister’s face you’re sucking,” Kaspar says. “Can you not?”

  Sentorr gives my mouth a sensual lick before releasing me. He grins at the dazed expression on my face and cups my cheek. “I want you to come back with me to the Jabberwock. O
r I’ll come here to the Sister. Either way, I want to be with you.”

  I sag against him, all happily boneless as I gaze at his mouth. It’s still damp from our kisses and I want to taste it again. In fact, I barely register what he’s saying, and then it sinks in. “Wait…Jabberwock? What happened to the Fool?”

  “Quarters were getting tight,” he tells me, running his thumb along my lower lip as if he’s unable to stop touching me. “Kivian knew someone that was selling a warbird off the records, so we took it off his hands.”

  Mathiras whistles. “A warbird. Fast and dangerous—best of both worlds.”

  My gorgeous man grins. “Luckily I piloted one back when I was in the military, so it’s a lot like coming home for me.”

  “Oh,” I breathe. I’ve always lusted after warbirds. Well, and Sentorr. The thought of running nav on one of them is tempting, but I know my brothers can’t spare me. “Your crew has another navigator?”

  “Not exactly.” He shakes his head. “I’m choosing you over them.”

  I make a small sound of protest in my throat, because…warbird. And his crew is so nice. I’d love to hang out on a ship like that. It seems wrong for him to abandon them, especially when navigation’s one of the most important—if not the most—jobs on the ship itself.

  Mathiras clears his throat. “I think you should go with them, Zo.”

  I turn to look at my brother in surprise. “You do?”

  He nods. “We all do.”

  Kaspar winks at me. Adiron just grins.

  I realize I’ve been set up. Kaspar didn’t kef up the navigation. He arranged to meet Sentorr so they could transfer me over. Hurt stabs through me. I pull away from Sentorr’s arms, torn. “You’re getting rid of me?”

  “No,” Mathiras says. He moves to my side and puts his hands on my shoulders. “We love you. When we say you’re our little sister, we mean it. Kef, we’re closer to you than we are to our blood sister, Vanora.”