Vote Then Read: Volume III

by Aleatha Romig

  Bright light blinds me, and hands grip my shoulders. “Axton! Wake up!”

  4

  Naomi

  Whatever he’s seeing in his nightmare dies hard and slowly. His panicked gaze rests on my face but for a few long seconds I know he isn’t seeing me. Recognition seeps in, but it doesn’t change the terror in his expression. His skin is drenched with sweat, and the sharp smell of his fear permeates the bedroom. Leaping out of bed, he darts from the room.

  By the time I get to the hallway, Caden’s door stands open, the light from his room illuminating the hall. My fear spikes as I run to catch up. I don’t know if he’s really awake or in his right mind. Hell, I’m barely conscious after being jerked from sleep by his screams.

  Relief wraps around me when I see Axton on his knees beside Caden’s crib, his body folded nearly in half as he grips the wooden slats.

  “He’s okay. He’s okay. Not real. It wasn’t real.”

  Understanding washes over me at the sound of his muttering. His nightmare was about Caden. About something happening to Caden.

  His body shakes with a restrained sob. He takes a deep breath, fighting to regain control and calm himself down. I’ve felt quite a few things in the last few weeks while working here. Frustration and anger. Hope and disappointment. But this is the first time I’ve felt sympathy for him. It must be a lot harder than I imagined for him to adjust to this new role, not just a father, but a protector. A person responsible for another person’s well being and happiness. Maybe most of the distance I’ve been cursing him in my head for, the disinterest he seems to have for his son, is fear underneath.

  I can’t watch him suffer and not try to help. “Axton,” I murmur.

  His body jerks, and he pulls away from me like my hand on his shoulder scorched him. Glancing around, I can see when the full reality inches back in and he realizes the situation. Without a word, he leaps to his feet and stalks out of the room.

  Drawing a shaky breath, I wait for my own adrenaline to lessen as I pull Caden’s baby blanket up over his waist. It’s a good thing the little guy can sleep through anything. “Everything’s okay,” I whisper to him, flipping his light back off and closing his door softly behind me. Words I’d like to believe.

  There’s no way I’m going to fall back to sleep anytime soon. Not until this jangly feeling in my chest subsides. Tea. It’s too early for coffee but a hot cup of tea would be calming.

  My favorite room in this house has quickly become the sunroom. It juts from one end of the house, the three outer walls and ceiling made of glass, letting sunlight pour in on beautiful days. With the thick rug, comfy couch, and armchair you can sink into, it’s a cozy place to relax on rainy days as well. It’s also the room Axton never sets foot in since he seems to prefer the back patio.

  Until tonight.

  “Oh.” I pause at the sight of his form slumped on the couch, almost spilling my tea. “Sorry, I didn’t see you. Would you like some tea?”

  “No,” he snaps.

  Usually, I’d retreat at this attitude, but I saw how devastated he was. How hurt and afraid. “Are you okay?”

  The first rays of dawn are just starting to crack the sky and it’s too dark to see his expression, but his reply is crystal clear. “I would be if you’d leave me the fuck alone.”

  His voice sounds strained, from the screams or sobs, I don’t know which, but it makes me realize more than anything he may be embarrassed. The best thing I can do is leave him be.

  Curling up in the chair in my room, I finish my tea, and then go back to bed. My mind won’t quit tossing around the events of the last twelve hours. My hopes were raised when I saw how he interacted with Caden in the pool, the way they laughed together. It’s the first time I’ve seen him attempt to bond with him, even if it was unintentional. I thought Caden was winning him over, and now, I think that’s even more likely.

  There’s a connection there and I don’t doubt that’s what caused Axton to have a nightmare where Caden was in danger. Those stress dreams can be a bitch. At the end of it all, though, I think it’s probably a good thing.

  Progress.

  By the time Caden’s babbling wakes me through the baby monitor a few hours later, there’s no sign of Axton. The door to his room and his music room are shut as usual, and his car is gone. It isn’t until Dani breezes through the door in a cloud of dramatic sighs that I find out he won’t be back for a few days.

  “Ax asked me to check in on things while he’s gone, make sure you know to set the house alarm and everything. He has an interview in Chicago, and I guess he and the guys decided to stay a few days in the city.” She makes a face at Caden and tickles him until he giggles.

  “We’re fine. It’s so nice out, I thought I’d take Caden out to play in the pool. Want to join us and tell me what that mopey look on your face is about?”

  Dani presses her lips together. “Yeah, it’s been a couple of shitty days. I’m raiding Ax’s wine cabinet.”

  My phone rings, and I set Caden down on the carpet where he grabs a plastic block and starts banging it on the floor. I swear, the kid loves to beat on stuff.

  Paige’s face smiles at me from the phone and it makes me realize I have barely seen her since I moved. “Hey, you are alive!” she says before I can say hello.

  “Yeah, I know. I kept meaning to call you.”

  “Mr. Sexy Musician keeping you busy?”

  “Not like that,” I laugh.

  Dani grins when Caden looks up at me, mocking my laughter.

  “Hmm. Too bad. I was hoping for some illicit stories. What are you doing today? Can you get out for a bit? I was thinking of going to the pool. I shopped for two months to find the perfect bikini and I haven’t even worn it once.”

  “Hang on.” Hesitating for a moment, I cover the speaker. “Dani, do you think it would be okay if my friend Paige came over? Axton and I never really discussed guests or—”

  Dani considers it for a moment. “She’d have to sign an NDA as well. I have the file I can print off.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to get you in trouble with him or anything. I can ask him about it when he gets back.”

  “It’ll be fine. He can’t expect you to live here and never have company.” She tosses a grin at me. “As long as she isn’t the type that’s going to steal his underwear to put them on auction or anything.” She picks up Caden. “Let’s go get a swim diaper and some sunblock on you, buddy.”

  “Paige, would you want to come hang out here with me and…my employer’s sister, Dani? She’s really nice and they have a pool.” A long pause stretches out. “Paige?” Did we get disconnected?

  “You can’t tell me who he is, but I can come to his house,” she clarifies.

  “Yes, he’s out of town for a few days, and Dani says it’s fine as long as you’re willing to sign an NDA like I did that says you won’t disclose anything about him. Then you can know who he is. And if you promise not to steal and sell his underwear.”

  “I’ll sign whatever, but I reserve the right to take his underwear for my own personal use if he’s as hot as I’m picturing.”

  “Ew. Never mind.”

  Dani returns wearing a swimsuit with Caden on her hip, carrying a couple of towels. “I’m going to crash here tonight. If you want a girl’s night, tell your friend she’s welcome to stay too.”

  “Yes!” Paige squeals when I pass on the invitation. “Text me the address. Wait. Do I need like special permission, a security code, a map to the rendezvous point?”

  “No, ditz. He lives in a normal neighborhood. I’ll text you the address. Just come on around back when you get here.”

  Caden lets out a high pitched screech. He knows he’s going to the pool when he gets a swim diaper on, and he’s tired of waiting on us to talk.

  “Aw, is that him? I can’t wait to see the baby,” Paige gushes. “Okay, I’m on my way.”

  By the time I change into a two piece and join them outside, Dani is in the pool with
Caden. I grab his little inflatable pool seat he loves so much and wade down the stairs into the cool water.

  “Do you see him trying to swim?” Dani exclaims, grinning at her nephew.

  “He did that the first time I put him in the water. He’ll be swimming like a fish by the time he’s two.”

  Dani sits him in the little pool seat and holds onto the edge of it while he splashes and giggles. “Ax was always a good swimmer. He was on the swim team in school for a while, but music sort of took over.” Pushing a wet lock of hair behind her ear, she regards me. “Is everything okay here? Does he seem to be…adjusting to the whole fatherhood thing?”

  I’m torn. For a few reasons. Dani may be his family and may help him with some of his responsibilities, but Axton is my employer. Well, him through his label anyway. I don’t want to say anything to jeopardize my job when he’s already so hot and cold I’m never sure I won’t be fired because he’s having a bad day. Also, I’d like to build some trust between us so it won’t always be so tense. Telling his sister he finally seemed to bond with his son, woke up screaming and crying from a nightmare, then ran away for a few days would only seem like a betrayal to him.

  “He was a little distant at first, but it’s getting better. He had Caden in the pool last night for a bit and was impressed with how natural he was in the water too.” Gliding over to the pool steps, I sit down, letting the sun warm the upper half of my body. Dani follows me, pulling Caden’s float along, and sits beside me. “Do you want to tell me about your shitty days?” I offer. She’s always so upbeat and bubbly. Her demeanor today isn’t normal.

  Water laps over us when she leans back, propping her elbows on the step behind us and sighs. “I got laid off. That’s the first thing.”

  “Oh no, what happened?”

  “Cutbacks, nothing personal, at least that’s what they said, and considering they cut my whole team, I tend to believe it. Jobs in technical writing aren’t the easiest to find, at least not full time like that. Everyone just wants to hire as a contractor, for piecework, which of course, doesn’t come with any benefits like health insurance.”

  “I’m so sorry, Dani. That’s awful.”

  “I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I just found out last night.” She picks up the soft spongy ball Caden loves to play with in the water and tosses it into his floatie. Grabbing it, he smashes it against his face, giggling when the water gushes out. Dani beams at him. “I knew this little guy would cheer me up.”

  “You said the first thing was you were laid off,” I point out. What other bad luck has befallen her?

  Tucking the corner of her mouth in, she glances at me. “Keep this between us for now, okay? I’m not sure what I’ll do yet and I don’t want Ax barging into the situation like a caveman and trying to run shit. He overreacts when it comes to me sometimes.”

  “I understand. You’re his little sister.” Secretly, I’m glad to hear it, even if she may be annoyed with his overprotective tendencies. A tiny part of me has wondered if he has the capability of loving another person, after watching the last couple of weeks with Caden. Seeing his reaction to the nightmare last night was an eye opener as well.

  I’ve always heard that creative types; artists, writers, musicians, are more dramatic. More passionate because they feel things stronger than the average person. Perhaps the opposite of my concern is true, and he’s overwhelmed with emotions.

  “I’m leaving Dustin,” Dani confesses.

  Wow. They’ve been together off and on since she was in high school. I’m not sure what to say. “Did he do something?”

  “It’s what he doesn’t do.” Her gaze is focused on the water as she speaks. “More and more, I feel like I can’t tell him anything. He has no sympathy for me no matter what the issue is. I was so upset after finding out I was suddenly unemployed and all I wanted to do was to tell him, have him hug me and say it’d be okay, you know?”

  “Of course, you needed him to be supportive.”

  “Exactly. What I didn’t need was for him to blame me.”

  “How the hell are company cutbacks your fault?”

  Her eyes glaze over. “He just started yelling and ranting about how many times he’s told me I needed to move on from that company and find a higher paying job. It’s true, he has said that before, but I liked my job, I made enough money to be comfortable, and there was no inkling things would fall apart like that.”

  “What an asshole.”

  Dani glances at me and snorts out a laugh. “He is. I’ve been with him so long and I don’t know if he’s changed into an asshole or I just grew up enough to realize what he was. It isn’t just the job thing. Last month, we went through a pregnancy scare that terrified the hell out of both of us. I’m on the pill, and I never missed one, but I skipped a period which is unusual for me. He lost his shit. Blamed me. Accused me of trying to trap him. Until the test turned out negative and I got my period a few weeks later, then he tried to act like it was all some big misunderstanding.”

  “But what if I had been pregnant? It’s clear I can’t count on him. Especially if everything is my fault. I’ve been thinking about leaving him the last two weeks, just trying to wrap my head around the logistics of it, because he’s going to make it difficult. This job loss and his reaction to it just sped up my plan. I love him, but I don’t like him anymore.”

  Tears spill down her cheeks, and I wrap my arms around her in a quick hug. Dani has visited almost every day since Caden was brought home and it didn’t take long for the two of us to become friends. She’s the opposite of her brother, compassionate and friendly. “You deserve to be with someone who loves and supports you.”

  Nodding, she splashes some water on her face. “He doesn’t love me. I’ve realized that. I think the only reason he has stayed with me the last year or so is because of Axton’s success. That was what we fought over this time. Since I got my ass fired, I’m supposed to ask my rich brother for some money.”

  “I take it back. He’s not just an asshole. He’s an opportunistic prick.”

  Caden squeals and shoves the ball over the edge of the float, frustrated that we aren’t paying attention to him. He kicks his feet and stiffens his body out, reaching a hand toward the ball now floating away. “Okay, boss man, I hear you,” I tell him, picking up the ball and tossing it back to him. It splashes against his belly and he grins, smashing it again.

  Dani pulls him close and hugs his squirming little body, which he is having none of. Kissing his chubby cheeks, she laughs. “Hey, baby Ax, I’m going to love on you. Best to get used to it.”

  Caden reaches out both arms toward me. “Nay!”

  Dani and I both freeze, gaping at each other. “I think he’s trying to say Naomi!” Dani exclaims.

  Caden’s baby babble sometimes resembles a word here and there, but it’s hard to tell if it’s intentional. “The only thing I know he’s actually trying to say is ‘No’ sometimes. If I’m feeding him and he doesn’t want another bite, or when I wipe his face with a washcloth he goes ‘nuh nuh nuh nuh.’ Nay is probably a coincidence.”

  Dani grins at him and speaks slowly. “Da-ni.”

  “Ah!” He shoves the ball over the side again, then leans over to lay his head on my arm. “Nay! Nay, nay!”

  Maybe he is trying to say my name. Regardless, I’m going with it. Pulling him out of his float, I cuddle him. “You know how to play me, don’t you?” I tease. He grins, showing his tiny white teeth. His eyes are droopy. “Someone needs a bottle and a nap.”

  “Naomi!” Paige calls, stepping into view. “Oh good, I was hoping I wasn’t in the wrong place, just trespassing.” She notices Caden in my arms. “Oh look at him. He’s adorable!”

  Dani and I exit the pool and Dani dashes into the house for the document for Paige to sign while I get Caden dried off and changed into a diaper.

  Dani quickly goes over what it all means and that she can’t reveal his name, where he lives, or anything she learns about him when vis
iting. After Paige signs, she points at me, “Now for hell’s sake, who is he? We’ve never had secrets from each other.”

  Dani nods when I glance at her, a grin on her face.

  “Axton Todd,” I reply, shifting Caden on my lap.

  Paige just gapes at me for a long moment, so I add. “The lead singer of Tragic.”

  Dani snorts out a laugh when Paige finally responds, “Get the fuck out of here.”

  She glances around. “Axton Todd lives here. In a suburb?”

  “It’s nice here.” It’s not like he’s surrounded by neighbors and kids playing in the street. He has a good amount of space here on the end of the development.

  “Well, yeah, but sexy as fuck rock gods are supposed to live in a mansion, surrounded by splendor and naked women.”

  Dani laughs, shaking her head. “First, if you meet him, don’t call him a rock god. He’s arrogant enough as it is. And Ax and the guys are just regular people like everyone else.” The smirk on my face makes her smile, and she adds, “Well, as normal as musicians can be.”

  Paige lies back on the lounge chair with a dramatic sigh. “Do I have to abide by the no stealing his underwear rule?”

  “Yes,” we reply in unison.

  “Not to sell. Just to make a little pillow out of to sleep with.”

  “Gross.” Dani’s nose snarls up.

  “Fine. The things you do for friendship.” Paige sits up as Caden starts babbling. We aren’t paying attention to him and he doesn’t like it. “He’s so cute,” Paige coos. “Can I hold him?”

  Paige holds him on her lap for a minute, but he’s grouchy when he’s tired. “Nay!” he screams, shoving away from her.

  “Don’t take it personally,” Dani laughs. “He didn’t want me over his Nay either.”

  “I’ll just go put him down for his nap. Be back in a few minutes.”

  Leaving Paige and Dani to get to know each other better, I carry Caden inside, make him a bottle and hold him while he drains it like he’s never been fed before. I guess water makes babies as hungry as swimming does adults. By the time he finishes it, he burps and falls right to sleep. He’s so precious tucked into his crib, his little face lax. Switching on the baby monitor, I grab the speaker from my bedroom and take it with me out to the patio.