Redemption

by Dexx Peay

  We wrapped up and everyone left. Delilah never moved from her table. She just sat there. I took a seat across from her and reached for her hand. She moved them both back and under the table. I looked down so I couldn’t feel her piercing eyes against my skin.

  “I know you’re mad at me.”

  I was apprehensive.

  She barely heard me because I could barely hear myself.

  “I’ve just have a lot to deal with at the moment.”

  Mustarded up some confidence. Had to stop being so passive. I looked up at her. Her eyes were wide open and mouth was sealed at the ends. She didn’t blink. She just glared me.

  I got anxious.

  “What had you so busy that you couldn’t call your girlfriend Marcus?”

  Her eyes never blinked and her body never moved.

  “I was—”

  “Or better yet, what have you been going through so tough that you can’t tell me?”

  Oh nothing, just my best friend has been abducted and I don’t think my powers alone are enough to save him and the others.

  This can’t always be my life with relationships.

  “You’re right. I should have talked to you,” I said.

  “So talk.”

  I wasn’t expecting her to say that. I couldn’t tell her anything. How do you tell someone that you are not normal? We just stood there—looking. I didn’t say anything and neither did she.

  “Just forget it,” she said.

  She wrestled with the table as she got up—almost knocking it over, grabbed her purse and stormed out the café. I just sat there. My head fell to the table. I didn’t have a clue what was going on with my life.

  I got back to my room and Dylan wasn’t there.

  Surprise.

  I walked over to his door and opened it. His room was neat. There were more bags of clothes on his bed but everything was the same.

  I changed my clothes and got into bed. My phone started to ring and I could guess who was not calling me. I looked at my phone and it was Mom.

  “Hey Mom,” I said.

  I was hoping she had some good news to brighten up my life.

  “Marcus,” she cried.

  “What’s wrong Mom?”

  “Your dad, he’s gone. Again.”

  Perfect. As if I needed anything else.

  What is going on in my life? If this is what being Xarponian is all about then I don’t want it. Dylan has gone off the deep end. I should have fought harder...stronger that night.

  He has always had my back and the one time he really needed me, I failed him. I’m always paranoid, forever looking over my shoulder thinking death will creep up on me. Delilah is beyond mad at me and I can’t blame her. I don’t know what to tell her? How did dad do it? How did you tell the woman you loved, my mother, about what you are and what you can do? How did she react? Is that the reason why I was adopted? So many questions still need answers.

  I just got off the phone with my mother, my adopted mother and dad has left again. When I was younger, dad had a drinking problem. He would leave for days sometimes weeks at a time to who knows where. That led to his restaurant being closed and the family stressed. My parents can’t afford to only have one income and I don’t have a clue to how I can help. I don’t know what I can do to help my mom through this. I need to find my dad. I need my dad. Both dads.

  -Marcus Ferrari

  I put the journal under my mattress and went to bed.

  The next morning, I went for a walk. Had to clear my head and make sense of all this madness. The campus was covered in thick sheets of white shimmering snow. It was beautiful. The students were out having snowball fights and making snow angels in between classes. Dylan would’ve enjoy it.

  He fell in love with winter after we got out powers.

  Small puddles of slush formed as I walked. Whenever my powers would activate on their own, it let me know my emotions were out of whack. They knew me better than I knew myself. I enjoyed some alone time before I met with Monica. We met outside her dorm and took a seat on the bench outside Weinstein. She came down covered in a scarf, gloves, and the biggest winter coat Poughkeepsie had on sale. She looked like a walking snowman. She shivered and walked in baby steps. He arms were folded and half her face hid behind the scarf.

  “Thanks for meeting me,” I said.

  “Of course.”

  Monica didn’t have a clue what I was there to talk to her about, but she was the only person who could possibly relate because she knew what we were.

  I turned the temperature up to release the tension in her frozen bones. Her shivering stopped. She pulled the scarf off her face and removed her gloves, then pushed her hair out of her face. I watched as her body relaxed on the bench when the warmth finally took over.

  She was comfortable.

  Good I needed her to be for what I was about to get in to.

  “Thanks Marcus and no problem. What is it that you wanted to talk about?” she asked.

  “I’m stressed and I have no one to talk to anymore,” I exhaled.

  Stress was an understatement. My body melted down the bench.

  “Ahhhh!!”

  “Aye dios mio! Marcus what’s going on?”

  I don’t ever remember showing anyone outside of Dylan this side of me. She took my hand and I felt something. They were already warm but this was a different kind of warmth. It felt right. I looked up at her and time stood still. Whatever it was, she felt what I felt and let go of my hand.

  It was wrong… but it was oh so right.

  “So… um, what did you say it was,” she fumbled.

  “Yeah… um.”

  I sat up on the bench and crossed my legs.

  They started to jitter.

  “Dylan has gone off his rocket. Something is happening to people with abilities. They’re either infected with something or being controlled. I’m not sure. Also, my dad has left the house. Mom has no clue where he is. To top it off, I need to keep my grades up to keep my scholarship. I can’t focus.”

  “So Dylan is not Dylan at the moment?”

  “Dylan is flat-out dangerous. He cut his hair off and went shopping at Versace and whatever other big name designer stores are out there. Hachi too. And I’m sorry to just dump all this on you but there is nobody I can vent to.”

  “I don’t mind Marcus. Dylan is my friend too, so I want to know when something is wrong.”

  She looked down at her snow boots and hesitated to look back at me.

  “And you’re my friend too. I still care about you. I always will.”

  Monica took my hands and I sent a wave of heat through her body.

  Then let go.

  “I said after our last incident, I was going to do my best to keep you out of what goes on in our other lives as much as possible.”

  “You and Dylan are my friends and I will help out in any way possible.”

  Ugh… friend.

  That damn word.

  I cringed.

  It ate me alive to know that this time she fully moved on. I wished I could have these talks with Delilah. If only Jessica kidnapped Delilah that day instead of Monica, Delilah would know about me instead. I wondered how she would take it?

  My brain hurt too much to even think these days. I looked up at Monica and decided it would be better for the both of us if I just looked down at the snow.

  “My dad is back to drinking again,” I said.

  Nobody knew about my dad being a recovering alcoholic except Dylan and Monica. Didn’t want the kids in school to have another reason to mess with me.

  “Ohmygosh,” she exhaled.

  She took my hand. Don’t think she realized it, but she started to rub my skin. I sniffed. She reached over and ran her thumb across my cheek as the tears started to fall. She scooted closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

  “Why me?” I cried. “What did I do to deserve this life?”

  “You were given this life because you are strong enough to handle it
. Just talk Marcus. You need to learn to talk and let things out or you will drive yourself crazy.”

  “I hate the world. I hate my parents for leaving me, even though I know they had a good reason. I hate Dylan for having the life I wanted. I hated everyone who ever called me Macchiato because I didn’t really know my race. I hate the fact that I can’t deal with everything hitting me right now. I just want to focus on school and have a life without powers and drunken parents. Most importantly I just want to be loved.”

  She didn’t move or flinch. She just rubbed my hand while I cried about all my problems. She didn’t judge me or look at me differently.

  “You feel better?”

  “I do.”

  “Marcus, you are the strongest person I know. With all that you have going on and all that you’ve been through, you still remain true to yourself. You have endured so many obstacles and overcame them all. You’re amazing and you should never change. The powers you have make you even more unique of a person than you already are. They give you a connection to your parents and the history of people nobody would ever believe existed. And Dylan… he loves you for you. You two are beyond best friends Marcus. I know friends get jealous of each other but Dylan really cares for you. As far as love… you will find it.”

  My heartbeat flooded my eardrums. Then hers crept in. Our heartbeats were in unison, something I never experienced before. I found love. I found it in a world where I didn’t think love for me existed. It wasn’t with Delilah. It was with Monica.

  She kept rubbing my hand.

  I gasped at each stroke losing a little bit of breath.

  She looked up at me.

  I stared straight ahead.

  My breathing got heavy.

  Butterflies fluttered my stomach and carried me away.

  The conscious thoughts in my head crashed.

  My heart went into ventricular fibrillation.

  I looked over at her.

  Placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face to me.

  Then leaned in and pressed my lips against her.

  I leaned more and kissed more.

  She kissed me back.

  Was I wrong if my heart told me it was okay?

  Her hands pushed against my chest.

  Although her lips stayed connected to mine.

  She pulled and pushed at the same time.

  A battle within herself between her emotions and her brain.

  She disconnected her lips.

  My eyes were still closed.

  Thinking our lips were still having fun.

  She positioned herself straight up and down on the bench.

  “Oh my,” she said.

  “I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “No… no… it’s okay. We are both just seeing other people so this is no big deal.”

  “I’m so stupid.”

  “It’s nothing Marcus, we just—”

  She rushed me.

  Pressed her lips back to mine and started to massage my tongue with hers.

  The rush of kisses was risky.

  Like crossing yellow caution tape at a crime scene.

  The bench became a mere object in our reflection.

  And the melted trail of snow created a path from Weinstein to Greenwich.

  My room became infested with clothes.

  As we helped each other undress.

  Sweat dripped from my body to hers.

  Then hers to mine.

  Whispers and moans echoed the room.

  Love flourished the air around us.

  Then sleep became us.

  I held her while she slept.

  Our unclothed bodies hugged onto one another, as my fingers ran through the edges of her curls that were straight just a few hours ago. Her body kept mine warm. I couldn’t describe what it was she and I had going on. It was clear to me now what I’ve always wanted, just wasn’t sure if she really wanted the same.

  Was it a mistake or did she actually want me?

  Her snores were faint, almost non-existent. I slid her off me and she began to snore again as she rolled over. Wasn’t a loud animalistic snore, more like a bunny. It was cute. If a bunny had a snore, it would sound like Monica. Wait, do bunnies snore? I got out of bed, slipped on some gym shorts, and got a glass of water out of the kitchen.

  It was refreshing as I drank it.

  I filled up again and headed back to my room, but before I did, I stopped at Dylan’s. It was weird not having him home while he was staying with who knows who. I walked back and took a seat on the floor next to Monica who was facing the outside of the bed.

  I watched her.

  The recent memories of what just happened would forever be etched in my mind. It was enchanting and passionate yet forbidden.

  It was dangerous.

  Fun.

  Love.

  She rolled over. I walked to the bed. Her eyes finally started to batter—slow at first then they sped up. Her wrist bent and swiped the side of her mouth taking the drool with it. She yawned and her breath stunk. I laughed.

  She jumped.

  “Marcus” she gasped. I handed her the water.

  “Thought you might be thirsty.”

  She wrapped herself within the sheets. Her feet hit the floor as she sat on the edge of the bed. She sipped the water from the glass, put it down then looked at the floor. I looked in the direction as her eyes did and started to laugh.

  “This is embarrassing.”

  She turned red and laughed as her face implanted into her hands.

  It was her underwear.

  I scooted them towards her. My hands went under the sheet and grabbed her foot. I started to massage them one at a time. Her hands dropped and her face lifted back up.

  “Dylan once asked me what it felt like to hold fire. I told him it felt like my body was getting a massage that I never wanted to end,” I said.

  “That does feel good,” she whispered.

  I looked up at her and she looked at me. She smiled—perfectly like always even if her breath wasn’t too pleasant at the moment. I stood up and she laid down. I laid on top of her. I kissed her forehead, trailed down the nose and then the lips. I got under the sheets and took my shorts back off.

  This time she held me.

  “What did we just do Marcus?”

  We did what we should have done a long time ago. Delilah was my first and she was good I guess. I didn’t have anything to compare it to but when I was with Monica it was a completely different experience. I found the difference between sex and love.

  “We made love. At least that’s what it felt like to me.”

  “What am I going to tell Brandon?”

  “Whatever you decided let me know so I can tell Delilah.”

  “Are we bad people?” She hugged me tighter.

  “We’re just foolish people, not bad.”

  The next day during study session, Delilah decided to start speaking to me again. Monica and I haven’t decided what we were going to do just yet but we did speak on our feelings. It was good to know that we both finally could admit at the same time that we felt the same way about each other.

  “I’ll be coming around to each table like always and going over what everyone needs,” I said.

  Had to find a way to make more money. I needed to help my mom with the bills and getting Katie in daycare. Study session money was good for me since I didn’t have any bills outside my cell phone but my family needed me.

  Delilah pulled me to the side after everyone left. She grabbed my hands and smirked.

  “Dinner and movie later? My treat.”

  Her version of dinner and a movie was take-out and cuddled in her bed afterwards. These days, cuddling leads to other things. I wasn’t too thrilled about the idea of lying up with her after lying on top of Monica last night. I needed to talk to Monica so we could decide what our plans were.

  “I can’t tonight Delilah. I’m sorry.”

  My eyes couldn’t bare to
look at hers. I started to walk off and she stepped in front of me.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “No, not at all. Tomorrow maybe?” I tried to walk off before she had the chance to answer.

  “No hug? No kiss? What’s wrong Marcus?” She opened her arms. Hesitantly, I walked up to her and hugged her. “I said I’m sorry already Marcus. Don’t act like this.”

  It was so weird hugging her. I had to get the situation with Monica squared away and fast.

  I got outside the door to my room and Mayson was coming out hers.

  This was just what I needed at this moment.

  “Hey, Marcus right?” she said.

  I nodded, put the key in the door and tried to escape the conversation about to happen.

  “Is Dylan around? I haven’t seen him since school started back?”

  And there it was. Just what I needed right now.

  “Full class load. He’s so busy I barely see him these days.” I twisted the knob and plowed my way inside.

  I started doing some homework until the knock at the door stopped me.

  It was Monica.

  “Today was awkward,” she said.

  “Ditto. Delilah wanted to do dinner and a movie tonight.”

  “Brandon wants to go ice skating this weekend,” she said.

  “What did you say?” We respond at the same time.

  “I told her maybe tomorrow.”

  “I told him I would have to think about it.”

  I didn’t want to be sneaking around my girlfriends back with another girl. I wanted Monica and I wanted to be able to express that. I wanted to hold her hand in public—walk down the streets or in the park. I wanted to be able to post pictures of our cheap dates online or talk to her when I needed to talk about my powers.