She smiled and came over to sit by me on the bed. “You were snoring up a storm so I figured I’d get up and shower.”
“You should’ve woken me and I could’ve joined you,” I grinned back at her.
“I thought about it,” she replied, sitting next to me on the bed so I could put my arm around her shoulders.
We sat there quietly a moment before I opened my mouth to speak. I closed it, not sure what to say. I didn’t want to scare her off and tell her I loved her. I was pretty sure I did, even after such a short time, but the last thing I wanted to do was spook her. She needed to know that this was more than just sex for me though and that I cared for her - a lot.
“Rachel, I need to talk to you about something,” I said. She pulled away and looked at me, her brow furrowed. I took her hand. “Don’t worry, it’s not bad. At least I hope you don’t think so.” I looked down at our hands, the fingers intertwined. She had such tiny and delicate hands where mine were so rough and calloused from all of my work on the ranch.
I took a deep breath. “I know we just met a bit ago and we don’t really know each other, but I wanted you to know that I have feelings for you. I love having sex with you and you’re amazing, but this is about more than just sex for me.”
Her eyes filled with tears and a smile broke out across her face. “I’m so glad you said that.”
“I wasn’t sure but then this morning when you guys were out in that storm I was so worried. That’s when I realized how much I like you and that it was beyond mind-blowing sex.”
“Mind-blowing, huh?” I teased her with a grin, bringing her hand up to my lips to kiss it gently.
“Uh uh,” she nodded. “Like whatever that was you did when you came in here…telling me what to do…seriously hot. I’ve never gotten myself off in front of anyone before. So hot.”
“Babe, our games have just begun.” I pulled her to me for a kiss. I heard a rumble of thunder in the distance and I leaned my head back against the headboard with a groan. “Shit. I gotta hop in the shower and go back out before the second set of storms roll through. We need to make sure we have enough gas for generators and all that too.”
She climbed off me with a sigh and I stood up. “I’m going to shower in here if that’s ok.”
She nodded. “Sure, I’m going to go back out there and see if your mom needs anything.”
I reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to me. “Thanks for the nap,” I winked down at her.
“Any time,” she winked back and I kissed her softly before slapping her ass. “See you out there.”
She squealed and laughed as she walked out the door. I watched her as she left, not heading to the shower until she was gone. I whistled as I showered. I was happier than I had been in a long time. Things on the ranch were damn near perfect as it was, but now that I had Rachel, they were even better. I was one lucky dude and I wasn’t going to do anything to mess that up.
15
Rachel
It wasn’t long before I settled into a nice routine on the ranch between work and my relationship with Clint. I became more comfortable in my duties and was happy to help them. Eliza and Mary were good teachers and I was soon able to help take care of the business side of things at the ranch with little instruction or direction from them so they could focus on other things.
Everyone on the ranch now knew about my relationship with Clint. Honestly, I’m not sure how much of a secret it had even been. We were openly affectionate around the rest of the family and took turns staying in each other’s room. I still hadn’t told him about him and why I left Buffalo. He would start to ask me questions about my past, but I would blow them off and change the subject.
He hadn’t been kidding when he said the games between us in the bedroom were just beginning. He was insatiable and I wasn’t complaining. He’d stirred a sexual awakening in me and every night was full of amazing sex. Sometimes he’d be hard and fast and slow and sensual other nights.
Despite growing up in the city, I adjusted to country living quite nicely. One of my favorite things to do with both Eliza and Clint was to go horseback riding around the property. Seemed I was a natural rider and took to it quickly. I even ended up with another pair of cowboy boots so now I had one for kicking around the ranch and one for when we went out.
And we went out often. Eliza liked to socialize and she was constantly dragging me out with her. Many times I could convince Clint to come, but often he would be tired after a long hard day and would want to stay in.
It was a Thursday night and we were cleaning up from dinner. “Eliza wants me to go out with her tonight.”
“Again? That’s like the third time this week and it’s not even the weekend!” he mumbled.
I shrugged. “I know, but she wants to.” I wasn’t sure what Eliza was looking for when we went out. She didn’t really drink a lot, so that wasn’t it and she ended up spending most of her time with Wyatt’s friend Jackson anyway. Maybe she could meet him out and I could stay home.
“I think you should stay in.” He wiped his hands on a towel and leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
“Excuse me?” I asked, putting my hand on my hip. Had he seriously told me what to do?
“You heard me; I think you should stay in with me.” He pushed up off the counter and started walking into the family room. “You guys go out too much. And I don’t like all those guys checking you out or dancing with you.”
I stood there with my mouth open slightly. I’d just left someone not too long ago that liked to tell me what to do; I wasn’t about to put up with it again, no matter how good his ass looked in a pair of jeans.
I threw my dishtowel on the counter. “Well, I’m going.” I marched back to my bedroom to get changed. I was going to go out with Eliza and I was going to make sure I looked good. No man was going to tell me what to do. I put on the shortest jean skirt I could find and my low-cut tank top. I slipped on my cowboy boots and decided to leave my hair down tonight.
I was in my bathroom putting on some eyeliner when there was a loud knock on my bedroom door. “Rachel, open up.” I smiled at my reflection; I’d locked my door so he couldn’t barge in.
“I’m busy. We can talk tomorrow.” I called out to him, turning back to my make up.
“Rachel,” he said sternly, steeling my resolve to not talk to him right now.
“Go. Away.” I called back with clenched teeth.
I relaxed when I heard his footsteps finally walk away from the door. I finished getting ready and went to find Eliza. She was in her room, throwing some things in her going out purse.
“Ready to go?” I asked. I was anxious to leave before Clint cornered me.
“Just about,” she replied. “What did you do to piss of my brother so bad?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Nothing,” I mumbled. “He said I shouldn’t go out.”
She laughed. “That’s it? He told you not to go so you decided you were going to anyway?”
“Something like that,” I sighed. “Listen, before I came here, I had a boyfriend that was very possessive and controlling. Eventually, he hit me. He gave me that bruise I had when I first came here. I vowed that never again was I going to be with a man like that.”
“Oh Rachel,” she said, coming over to me and putting a hand on my arm. “I’m so sorry you dealt with that. You know my brother would never hurt you, right?”
I nodded. “I know, but when he talked to me like that, it spooked me.” I sat down on her bed and put my face in my hands. I knew in my head I was overreacting, but in my heart I had this nagging feeling; what if he turned out like Seth?
She threw her lip-gloss into her purse and reached out for my hand. “Come on, let’s go. We’ll dance, have a few drinks, and you can forget about it for a bit. When we get back, you guys can kiss and make up.”
I didn’t say anything but took her hand and let her lead me out the door. We said goodbye to Mary, ignoring
Clint as he sat on the couch flipping through the channels. I bit my lip to fight back the tears as we got into Eliza’s truck. I’d hoped he would stop us before we left and apologize to me for being such an ass. Guess not.
We drove to the saloon in silence. I didn’t really feel like talking and I was trying to figure out what I was going to do next. Should I leave? I would hate to do that to Eliza and Mary after all they’d done for me, but maybe I’d read too much into what Clint and I had going. Maybe now that he had me, he would become controlling; after all, life on the ranch seemed a little bit old fashioned in the roles of women. The men went out and worked all day while the women stayed and took care of the house.
“It’ll be ok, I promise,” Eliza assured me as we pulled into a stall downtown. I nodded and got out of the truck. I really didn’t feel like socializing but I’d be damned if I was going to stay home like Clint expected me to.
We walked inside and found Jackson and Steve at our usual table. Wyatt was out on a date with some new girl tonight and said he might be joining us later.
Eliza pulled up a stool next to Jackson and took a swig of his beer. What was up with them? She kept telling us all she had no interest in him because she’d known him since they were kids, but she sure spent a lot of time around him when we went out and when they danced, they acted like two people that were way closer than ‘just friends’.
“Hey boys!” she exclaimed over the loud music.
I smiled and waved hello.
“I’ll go get us some beers,” I leaned over and shouted in her ear. She gave me the thumbs up and I weaved through the crowd to the bar.
As I stood and waited for our beers, Seth’s face flashed before my eyes. I shivered, thinking about the way he looked at me that night he hit me. If he hadn’t been interrupted by one of his friends who had some sort of drug business to discuss, I don’t know what he would have done to me.
The bartender set my beers in front of me and I shook my head, getting all the thoughts of Seth out of my head. I paid for my beers and took them back to the table. Eliza and the boys were already gone to the dance floor. Normally I would’ve joined them right away, but tonight my heart wasn’t in it. Besides being upset about the fight with Clint, I hadn’t been feeling that great. I’d been tired and my stomach was queasy. Maybe it would better if I just went home.
I found Eliza and pulled her off of the dance floor.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Can I have your keys and go home? Could one of the guys take you home?” I asked.
“Why? Don’t let my stupid brother get to you. Don’t give him the satisfaction of coming home already,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her.
I shook my head. “I don’t feel good. I took one sip of my beer and I thought I was going to yak. I just want to shower and climb into bed.”
“That’s all?”
“Yes, I promise.”
“Ok, my keys are in the front pocket of my purse.” She leaned forward and hugged me tight. “Feel better.” She pulled back and narrowed her eyes at me. “Try to sneak in without Clint seeing you.”
I laughed. “I’ll try.”
“Good.” She patted my cheek and wiggled her hips back out to the dance floor.
I smiled and shook my head. She was so crazy and full of life - like the sister I’d never had. I wished I had half of her energy.
As I walked out of the bar I bumped smack dab into Clint. “Rachel,” he said, reaching out to steady me.
“Checking up on me?” I asked defensively. What the fuck was he doing there?
He scrubbed his face with this hand. “Listen - “
I put up my hand. “Clint, I don’t want to hear it. I’m tired and I don’t feel good. I’m going back to the ranch and going to bed. Don’t come after me.”
I brushed past him, my resolve almost breaking as I heard him call my name out after me. I wasn’t going to give in though. Not this time. Not ever.
16
Clint
I watched her walk away from me and get into Eliza’s truck. I was frozen in place. I hadn’t expected to run into her so soon or for her to be so cold to me. I had come out to the saloon to find her and apologize for my earlier behavior. I was tired and looking forward to a quiet night with her watching a movie and falling asleep with her in my arms that I was annoyed she was going out with my sister again. I felt bad I’d been such an ass.
I walked over to the table I knew my sister and her friends usually occupied and waited for her to get off of the dance floor so I could ask her what was up with Rachel. I watched her impatiently through a few songs; I thought about getting a beer, but I wanted to keep a clear head. I was about to drag her back when she finally came off of the dance floor laughing and out of breath.
“Big brother, what are you doing here?” she asked, taking a sip of her beer.
“I came to apologize to Rachel but she stormed right past me. What’s wrong?”
She widened her eyes. “You can’t be serious, Clint. You really don’t know?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I know she’s mad at me about earlier, but for her to be so cold; it’s not like her.”
“She said she wasn’t feeling well and you freaked her out. I think you should go back to the house and ask her about her old boyfriend. Maybe that would help explain it all.”
“What about him?” Was he the one that had given her that bruise she had on her cheek when she first came to the ranch? I clenched my hands at my sides.
She pushed my shoulder. “Go. It’s not my place.”
“Fine,” I said before turning to leave. I pushed my way through the crowd and out to my truck. I gripped the steering wheel, thinking about what Rachel must have been through before coming to us. I shook my head; then I had to go acting like a controlling ass. No wonder she got upset with me.
I tried not to speed, in a hurry to get to her. Ever since Hope had left me, I had trouble letting anyone in. In fact, before Rachel, I didn’t. I’d closed myself off to everyone other than my family until she came along. I couldn’t mess up the best thing that ever happened to me.
I turned into the driveway of the ranch, relieved when I saw Eliza’s truck parked near the house. I threw my truck into park and shut it off, leaving the keys in it, and ran inside. My heart fell when I saw Ma alone on the couch watching the news.
She turned around to look at me.“Are you looking for Rachel?” she asked softly.
I nodded and kicked off my shoes. I started walking towards the hallway when she called out again. “I wouldn’t go in there.”
I slowly walked towards her. “Why not?”
She patted the couch next to her. “Come here, we need to talk.”
I came around the couch and sat down with a sigh. “What’s up?”
“I know Rachel left here upset with you, because you acted like a total jerk. I can’t believe you were trying to tell her what she can and can’t do. I raised you better than that. Well, she came back from the bar upset and didn’t want to talk about it. She said she was tired and going to bed. She asked me to tell you to leave her alone tonight.”
My heart fell. “Why?”
Ma sighed and turned so she could look at me better. “The way you acted tonight brought back memories of her old boyfriend - the one she left, the one that hit her.”
I sucked in my breath, feeling the rage build in me. What asshole would lay a hand on her? “She never told me.”
“I know. And I probably shouldn’t be telling you that now, but it might help you understand. She told me he was controlling and possessive and the last straw was when he hit her. She managed to sneak away in the night and drove from Buffalo until she got here.”
“Jesus,” I muttered. “I had no idea.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I mean, I figured it was a boyfriend that hurt her, but now that I know for sure…”
Ma reached out and took my hand. “There’s more. You know that her mom died when she was nineteen, rig
ht?”
I nodded, bracing myself for what Ma was going to tell me next. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to hear it.
“Well, her mom was with a man that was very controlling and abusive. He actually ended up killing Rachel’s mom.” Her eyes were filled with tears and she squeezed my hand.
“Oh my God, Ma,” I mumbled, my eyes beginning to water as I thought about the pain Rachel had been through. No wonder she got so angry with me when I tried to tell her what to do. I released Ma’s hand and leaned forward, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
“I think you should give her tonight, Clint,” Ma advised.
“I don’t think I can.” I lifted my head to look at her. “I need her to know I’m not like that. I’m not like those men.”
“I think she knows that deep down. Remember, you guys sort of have a unique relationship. You’ve essentially lived together since the start of your relationship. It’s made things go faster than they would if you were traditionally dating.”
“I love her, Ma. I need to tell her.”
“I know you do. And she loves you. I think you two have been in love since day one if you ask me,” she smiled and rubbed my shoulder. “If you must talk to her, you can try, but don’t push her, ok?”
“I won’t. I will just knock on her door and if she tells me to go away, I will. I have to try though.” I didn’t wait for her reply, getting up from the couch and walking down the hall to her room.
I stood in front of it for a minute, my mind processing everything Ma had told me. We both had put up these walls around our hearts, not really letting each other in. Well, after tonight, I was done with that. I was going to let my guard down completely and I hoped she was going to do the same for me.
I knocked softly on the door. “Rachel,” I said softly, holding my breath as I waited for her answer. When I heard nothing, I knocked again, a little bit louder. “Rachel, please. Give me five minutes. That’s all I ask.”
Clint: A Hidden Lane Ranch Cowboy Novel Page 9