There was no answer, but I thought I heard some rustling. Please let her come open the door. My heart was racing when I heard the click of the door and she slowly opened it. She looked like hell, her eyes red and her hair disheveled. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and tell her it was all going to be ok, but I had a feeling that would be pushing it.
She turned around and went back to sit on the bed and I followed behind her. I sat on the chair in the corner. “You have five minutes and then I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted and not in the mood.”
I nodded and wiped my hands on the palms of my jeans. “Rachel, I’m sorry about tonight. I had no right to tell you what to do and I was an ass. I wasn’t checking up on you at the bar; I came there to apologize. I hated how things were when you left and I wanted to make them right.”
She took a deep breath and brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tight around herself. I tried to get a read on her emotions to figure out what she was thinking. Did she believe me? Or was she going to tell me to fuck off?
“Ma told me what you’ve been through.” Her head snapped and she looked in my direction. “She told me about your mom and how she died and your ex-boyfriend.” She opened her mouth to say something. “Don’t be upset with her for telling me; she cares about both of us.” She closed her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. She buried her face in her knees and I heard a sob tear through her. Her body started shaking as she cried and I didn’t know what to do. Do I go to her? But she was mad at me? Or would she get mad at me for not trying to comfort her? Fuck it. If she pushed me away, so be it, but I was going to try.
I got up off the chair and went over to her, sitting next to her on the bed. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me. Much to my relief she didn’t resist but buried her head in my chest. She continued to sob and I let her. I had a feeling she had a lot of emotion pent up and it was all finally getting out. I soothed her hair with my hand and planted tiny kisses on her temple, whispering little words to try to comfort her. It broke my heart that she was hurting so bad because of the asshole men in her life.
She finally pulled away from me and looked up at me with a tear-stained face. I turned and grabbed a tissue off the bed, giving it to her. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes before leaning back with a sigh. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaky with emotion.
“Why are you sorry?” I asked.
She shrugged and waved her arms. “I’m sorry for this whole mess and not telling you about it sooner. I wasn’t trying to hide anything; I just didn’t want to deal with it. We were having such a good time and you made me happy; I didn’t want to wreck anything.”
A small smile played on my lips. “I made you happy, huh?”
She smiled back and nodded. “Yes, you made me happy - you make me happy.”
I took her hand in mine. “Good.” I reached out to brush a stray piece of hair that had fallen across her forehead. “You can tell me now if you want.”
“But I thought your mom told you everything?” “Well, she probably gave me a more condensed
version. I’d like to hear it from you if that’s ok.” She blew her nose again and took a deep breath.
“Ok. I told you that it had always been Mom and me because my dad was an asshole, right?” I nodded when she stopped and waited for my answer. “I say it was just us but really, she had a hard time being alone. She was constantly dating someone new, trying to find the right one. I love my mother, but she had horrible taste in men. Some seemed no better than my father from what I’d been told.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “She never dated an abuser until I was eighteen. She had dated some controlling assholes before him, but no one raised a hand to her before and I realize now I was lucky none of those assholes she kept parading in and out of our apartment laid a hand on me.”
I felt the muscle in my jaw twitch as she spoke about her childhood. I was so lucky to grow up here on the ranch with my family. I was so sorry she had to deal with that.
“She met this guy where she worked. His name was Jack. He seemed perfect at first, bringing her flowers all the time, taking her out, even bringing me a few things. I thought it was ridiculous since I was eighteen, but he made her happy. Then one night I came home from work and I could hear him yelling at her. She was cowering in the corner of the living room while he was towering over her, screaming.” She shuddered and closed her eyes. I squeezed her hand as she relived the memory. “I was furious. I called the police immediately. They came and hauled him off, but my mom was furious with me and it wasn’t long before he was back.”
She opened her eyes again, her eyes wet with her tears. “My mom became a shell of herself. She quit work and he moved in. She never saw her friends and she lost a lot of weight. I didn’t catch him hurting her, but she would have bruises and cigarette burns all over; he would do it when I was at work or at my friends.” A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. “I couldn’t quit work because I was saving for college but I didn’t go over to my friends’ anymore; I was too scared of what would happen to her when I was gone.”
“Rachel, I’m so sorry,” I said softly. My heart was aching for her and her mother, having to live in fear like that.
“One day I came home from work and the apartment was strangely quiet. Mom barely left anymore, so I knew something was wrong. I went into her bathroom and found her lying on the floor. I called 911 immediately, but it was too late.” She was crying openly now as she relived that horrible day. “She had fresh bruises and I guess he’d beat the shit out of her and she fell and hit her head on the edge of the tub, dying on impact.”
She crumpled then, sobs consuming her again. I gathered her into my arms again and held her into me while she cried. “I hadn’t been there to stop him. I should have gotten her out of there. I tried so many times but she wouldn’t listen to me. She wouldn’t leave his sorry ass.” Her voice got louder as she spoke through her tears.
She finally stopped crying again and pulled away. “Before Mom died, I met a guy at work, Seth. We went on a date here and there, but were mostly friends. At least until Mom died. I was so overwhelmed with everything he sort of swooped in and took care of a lot of things for me. I was only nineteen and he was twenty-five. Honestly, he was a lifesaver. He helped me pack up the apartment and I moved in with him and his brother, but only as a roommate at first. He didn’t push for anything while I dealt with all of this. He sat in court with me every day when Jack was tried for what he did to Mom.”
I nodded, trying to fight back the jealousy I was feeling that this guy took care of her; I didn’t even know her then but the thought of someone else being there for her bothered me.
“We had a good relationship for a long time, but then he lost his high paying job at the factory. He had trouble finding something that paid the same amount of money and he started hanging out with a new crowd and eventually selling drugs. I didn’t like the people he had around and I wasn’t afraid to say it, even in front of them. He didn’t like that at all and he started to become controlling, trying to tell me where to go, who to be friends with. Given the shady people he was keeping company with, I’d been hit on more than once by them and that pissed him off so he kept close tabs on me. I have no doubt he was having me followed sometimes.”
“One day after a horrible fight - he didn’t hit me but we screamed at each other and I was pretty sure he thought about it but the apartment was full of too many people - I decided enough was enough. I’d stayed out of obligation since he was there for me when Mom died, but I wasn’t going to end up like her. I packed up my stuff and told him I was leaving. He lost it. He completely went ape shit on me. That’s when he hit me.”
My body tensed as I listened, my hatred for this guy growing by the second. What sort of jackass would lay a hand on a woman, especially a woman they claimed to love?
She was trembling now, but when I reached out to hold her, she held her hand up to stop m
e and shook her head. “Let me finish,” she mumbled. She took a deep breath before she kept going. “He was going do more than hit me, but someone knocked on the door and said something about a drug deal gone bad and he had to leave. I have no doubt he would have put me in the hospital.”
“Does he know where you are?” I asked, getting up from the bed and pacing her room. If I ever laid my eyes on this guy, there was no telling what might happen.
She bit her lip and shrugged. “I don’t see how. I ditched my phone when I left. I ran it over with my car and then threw it in a river. I thought maybe he had GPS on my car or something, but if he did, I thought I would have heard from him by now. I mean, it’s been three months.”
I nodded, relieved at her answer. If he was looking for her, I doubted he would look in Wyoming, especially on some ranch.
“There’s more,” she mumbled, looking down at her hands.
“What?” I asked, my mouth going dry.
She got up off of the bed and went down on her hands and knees next to the bed. She reached underneath it and pulled out a big blue duffle bag. She unzipped it and I gasped, dropping to my knees near her when I saw what was inside. There were bundles of cash - what looked to be $100 bills. Where the fuck did she get that?
“I took this from him when I left,” she whispered. “I wasn’t sure where I was going to go or what I was going to do. I just knew I had to get away from him so I didn’t end up like my mother.” Her voice was trembling again and her eyes filled up with tears.
“How much is there?” I asked, standing back up slowly and sitting on the bed.
She zipped up the bag and pushed it back under. “I have no idea. I never counted it. I kept one bunch out when I left to pay for gas, hotels, and food, but that was it. When I got here I put it under the bed and this is the first time I’ve opened it.”
She stood up and put her hands on her hips. “Let’s lay down,” I urged her, pulling her to me and laid back on the bed. I enveloped her in my arms and gently kissed her forehead. If she took that kind of money from him, it probably wouldn’t be long before he found her. He didn’t sound like the kind of guy that would part with that much money easily. I wasn’t going to think about that now; I was thankful to have her back in my arms and there she was going to stay.
17
Rachel
I woke up to the sound of Clint’s even breathing. I glanced up and watched him sleep, reaching up to lightly touch his face. I couldn’t believe after everything I told him he was still here and still wanted to be with me. Before he’d gotten here, I was seriously considering leaving the ranch. I’m glad I hadn’t.
I untangled myself from his arms and noticed it was about two AM. We’d been asleep for about three hours. I wondered if Eliza had made it back from the bar ok. I felt bad leaving her, but I was not in the mood and not feeling well.
I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door and turning on the light. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes traveled to the spot on my cheek that Seth had hit. I touched it and started sobbing, grabbing my soap and throwing it across the tiny bathroom. I sank to the floor sobbing. Now that Clint knew about my past, it was like the floodgates were opened. Sobs racked my body as I thought about my mother and what Jack had done to her. I thought about Seth and how much he changed from the boy who helped me get through my mother’s death to some sort of monster.
“Rachel?” Clint knocked on the door, concern in his voice. He opened the door and picked me up in his arms, carrying me back to the bed. He let me cry until I had no more tears left, stroking my back. “Let it out, babe. It’s ok now. You’re safe here.”
When I was finally done crying, he sat up. “How about a shower or bubble bath? You need to relax.” I nodded. It was three in the morning, but a hot shower sounded good.
He patted my leg. “Good. You go do that and I’ll go make you some tea. Ma swears by it when you’re feeling down. Wyatt and I think it’s nonsense, but Eliza seems to like it.” He rolled his eyes and smiled and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Good, that’s what I like to see on my girl,” he whispered as he stood up. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
I watched him walk out of my bedroom before grabbing some fresh clothes and heading to the shower. I had no idea how I’d gotten so lucky to find Clint by some strange chance. I hadn’t stopped anywhere since I’d left Buffalo that day other than to grab gas and some food. A higher power led me to decide to spend that night in Sheridan; I had no doubt.
I walked back behind the garage and headed down to see the horses. Before coming here, I had never ridden a horse. Now I went a few times a week. My favorite horse came to the edge of the fence to greet me. I patted her neck before turning around to survey the ranch. Yeah, I’d changed a lot since that night Clint found me in that diner.
One thing that hadn’t changed was the fact that I could take care of myself and hated it when people told me what to do. I looked around, not seeing anyone nearby and snuck to my car. I started it up, cringing at the noise it made. Hopefully no one was near enough to hear or I was so busted.
“I don’t want to tell you what to do, Rachel, but can I please make one request?” Clint asked me later that night after I’d told him about Seth and showed him the money.
“Sure,” I’d replied.
“Please don’t go into town without me or Wyatt. You could probably go with Eliza too, but I don’t want you to go alone. I’m worried about Seth.”
It seemed like a simple request, but as time passed, I was getting tired of the restrictions. I knew he meant well, but going one time alone wouldn’t hurt anything.
I put the car in drive and headed down the long driveway of the ranch. My fingers gripped the steering wheel tight and my heart was pounding until I got to the end of the drive. I turned towards town and blew out a breath I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding. I made it. I glanced down to where I usually kept my phone when I drove and swore. I’d forgotten it on my dresser! Oh well, I’d be back in no time and they won’t even miss me.
I turned up the radio in my car and rolled down the windows, letting the warm summer air blow against my face. I was so excited for this party for Eliza. I had told Clint what a big deal Mom made of my birthdays when I was growing up, but it had been awhile since I’d really celebrated anyone’s birthday. I couldn’t wait to dance all night with Clint and enjoy the evening with my new adopted family.
I got into town and ran the errands I needed to quickly. Of course Clint would find out I didn’t listen to him when I told him I no longer needed to go into town, but maybe once he saw I went and came back safe and sound, he would relax a little bit.
My car was full of bags of stuff for the party and I was on my way home when the gas light in my car went on. I was near the last gas station on the way out of town, so I figured I better stop and fill up. I pulled up next to the pump and hopped out. I filled the car with gas, looking around at the different people around me. I smiled to myself at all the cowboy boots and hats; such a change from back home but one I’d grown to love.
I went to pay inside so I could grab a soda before the twenty-minute drive to the ranch. I came back out and dropped my soda when I saw who was standing by my car. It was him!
He was standing there leaning against the side of my car, wearing his aviator shades. He’d changed his hair since I saw him and it was now cut short but styled into some kind of mohawk. He was wearing jeans and a wife beater - his usual outfit. My heart was racing and my mouth went dry. How the fuck had he found me?
“Get in the car, Rachel. We’re going to go for a drive,” he commanded, his voice low. He lifted up his shirt and showed me the gun stashed there. “Don’t make me cause a scene.”
I wanted to scream and let the other people at the gas station know what was going on, but I was frozen. I really thought I was home free of Seth and I was shocked to see him. Clint was right and tears filled my eyes as I thought
about how I didn’t listen to him and now I wasn’t so sure I’d ever see him again.
18
Clint
As I walked back to the house for lunch, I noticed Rachel’s car was gone. Eliza’s truck wasn’t back from her meeting either. My mouth went dry and my heart started to pound in my chest; did she not follow my instructions?
I bounded up the stairs and pulled open the front door. “Ma, where’s Rachel?” I called out.
She came out from the utility room. “She said she was going for one of her walks this morning. I haven’t seen her since.”
I took off my baseball hat and tossed it on the counter before running my hand through my hair. “Her car’s gone. She didn’t say anything about going anywhere?”
Ma went to the window to check for her car. “I had no idea,” she trailed off quietly. She turned back to look at me. “I’m sorry. She mentioned that you wouldn’t let her go into town alone and I told her it was for her own good but that’s where the conversation ended. She said she was going to go for a walk and I got busy here and didn’t even notice.”
“I’ll try to call her.” I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed her number. It rang and rang, eventually going to her voicemail. No fucking answer! I stormed down to her room and opened the door. Her phone was sitting on her dresser. She either forgot it or didn’t even bother to take it.
I balled my hands into fists. “I have to find her. I have a bad feeling. Even if she did go into town for errands, she should be back already.” I took my hat and put it firmly back onto my head and ran out the door before Ma could say another word.
I ran into Wyatt on my way to my truck. “Where’s the fire, big bro?”
Clint: A Hidden Lane Ranch Cowboy Novel Page 10