Pretending to Wed

by Melissa Jagears

  He shrugged. “Maybe, if that was the only thing you ever bought—”

  “You just said we agreed on splitting the profit.”

  “Yes.” He had the nerve to look confused.

  “Then why wouldn’t you care if I spent your money on gumdrops?”

  “Because money from butter and eggs is nothing but icing on the cake. I’m happy to let you have it.”

  She blew out a frustrated breath while shaking her head. “I thought I was marrying a good businessman.”

  His expression froze, yet he didn’t defend himself.

  The wagon tilted into a rut, the movement sending reverberations around inside her chest—where her heart ought to have been.

  “I’m sorry.” Once the wagon got back on flat ground, she summoned up the courage to grab his free hand and squeeze it. “Whether you’re a good business man or not, you’re a plain good man, and I’m honored you trust me.”

  His expression softened as he squeezed her hand in return. He began to pull away, but she held on, then looked away toward town, keeping his hand firmly in hers.

  Once they reached the outskirts of town, Nolan extricated himself.

  She tried not to frown. She’d enjoyed being connected to him without worrying it might lead to more.

  But then, what if it did lead to more? What if she allowed herself to be free to fall in love with him? He’d been kind to her before he’d needed anything from her, whereas Kurt and Randolph had only appeared kind because they wanted something. Though Nolan had certainly needed her to save his ranch, he’d given her a portion of it—forever.

  And Gerald? Well, being abandoned for her younger sister because she kissed better couldn’t ever happen again. If Nolan didn’t enjoy kissing her, well, he could just choose not to. He’d said he’d counted the cost when marrying her—that it was her or no one.

  She twisted her hands in her lap, trying to keep herself from leaping off the seat and running. A part of her wanted to flee this desire to mess up a good partnership because there was no guarantee they’d end up pleased with each other. Yet another part wanted to grab Nolan by the lapels and kiss him whether he liked it or not.

  “Good afternoon!” Frank Dent tipped his hat at them as they drove past, shocking Corinne back to the fact they were already in town.

  After returning the deputy’s greeting, Nolan turned to her. “That stepladder you’re working on? Should you pick up something to help you build it?”

  She put a hand against her abdomen. Though neither running or kissing were possibilities right now, her stomach seemed intent on the former, even if it meant leaving her behind. She let out a long, slow breath, trying to formulate a response. She did need hinges. “We could stop at the livery to see how much it’d cost for him to fabricate something for me before we head to the bank.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He turned in that direction.

  “What are you doing with the money you’re depositing today?”

  “Leaving it in savings.”

  She played with the folds of her skirt. If it hadn’t been for her, his bank account wouldn’t need replenishing. She’d suffered twinges of guilt when she’d asked for that hundred dollars, but now that he saw to her every need, pushed her to do what she loved, worked harder than her… “Never mind about the livery. I’ll put mine in savings, too—half into your savings, half to send to my brother-in-law. I’ll do that until the money I took is returned.”

  “Those aren’t the terms we agreed upon.”

  “True, but I am a woman.” She gave him a shy side glance. “I hear we like to change our minds regularly.”

  And boy was her heart trying to change her convictions completely right now.

  “Then change your mind back. You should make the stepladder. Every invention I’ve seen of yours looks like a worthy investment. I’m sad every time I’m in the coop and your covered waterer isn’t in the corner.”

  She stiffened. She hadn’t shown him that. “When did you see my waterer?”

  He kept his gaze on the road in front of them, but reached up to pull on his collar. “My curiosity got the better of me when you left behind some of your sketches. You should get what you need to make that, too.”

  She wanted to be mad at him, but if he thought it was good … no, that didn’t matter. “I’ll have plenty of time to make those things after I’ve paid back your one hundred dollars.”

  “What about getting ready for the ladies’ fair?”

  “They’ll likely have one another year.”

  “I don’t feel right about you putting your dreams on hold to pay back something you aren’t supposed to.” Nolan slowed the team to a stop in front of Doctor Ellis’s. “It’s your money to do with as you please.”

  “I know.” Why did he appear so grim? Maybe he was in more pain than she’d thought.

  He shook his head but handed the reins to her. “All right, then. Why don’t you check on Leah while I see the doctor?”

  If she didn’t go in with him, how likely was it he’d inform her of what the doctor said? “I wanted to ask Mrs. Ellis if she’s pleased with Leah’s work before I do so.” She trusted Leah, but what else could she talk to Mrs. Ellis about?

  His jaw worked, but he nodded and started down his side of the wagon. She was on the ground before he had a chance to help her and nearly flinched at the frown he gave her. Didn’t he know she was only trying to keep him from hurting himself?

  Besides, the more he touched her, the more aggravated she was for telling him their marriage could be nothing but convenient.

  Except it already wasn’t. Yet if he was happy right now, he deserved to stay that way. Because if she loved him…

  She swallowed and looked to the dirt at their feet, nearly overwhelmed by the sudden rise of emotion.

  Was there an if to contemplate? Was there even an if about it? What was love if not a desire to make someone happy? Just because she feared she couldn’t, didn’t mean she didn’t desperately want to.

  She let out a shaky breath. She could very well be in more trouble than she’d thought.

  Mrs. Ellis stepped out onto the porch to empty a dustpan. “Hello, you two!”

  Corinne clamped her hands against her sides, as if that might settle the sudden bout of jumping frogs wreaking havoc within her.

  The older lady smiled at the two of them as Nolan started up the stairs. “How’s married life?”

  Corinne glanced up at Nolan, who was taking the steps slower than usual. Hopefully the doctor could give him something to help with the pain he must be in. She followed him up and gave Mrs. Ellis’s arm a squeeze. “Your husband’s prescription to marry wasn’t as bad of a suggestion as I thought. My hands truly are better now.”

  “Good.” Mrs. Ellis gave her shoulder a friendly pat and they headed inside.

  “Nolan?” The doctor had just stepped out of the stairwell. “You here to see me?”

  Nolan held the door open for her and Mrs. Ellis to crowd into the waiting room. “Yes, sir.”

  After the two men disappeared into an examination room, Corinne turned to the doctor’s wife. “While we’re here, I wanted to check if you were happy with Mrs. Whitsett’s laundry service.”

  “She’s doing fine. Come.” Mrs. Ellis took Corinne’s arm. “Let’s quilt while you wait for your husband. I’ve got everything set up.”

  “Well, I…” How could she admit she’d planned to eavesdrop on their husbands since she doubted hers would tell her anything? “I don’t think Nolan’s going to be that long.”

  The old woman frowned. “Probably not, but I’m excited about how my newest top turned out. Come see it, at least.”

  The log cabin design was certainly pretty in dark browns, pinks, and greens. The white, even stitching was beginning to take shape atop the pattern. After the obligatory compliments and politely turning down the offer to come into town to quilt in the evenings, Corinne headed back downstairs in time to see Nolan leave the exam room.

&
nbsp; The doctor pulled the door shut behind them. “Now, I mean it. Rest that leg more often.”

  “I will.” Nolan’s voice seemed resigned. Enough to do as ordered or just resigned to hear that particular advice over and over?

  “Have Corinne do more stretches with you. You’re losing too much range of motion.”

  Nolan nodded and headed out the door. Had he forgotten to tell the doctor Jacob was doing his stretches?

  She followed her husband to the wagon, though he didn’t seem to realize she was behind him.

  “Nolan?”

  He startled. “I’m sorry. I thought you were visiting with Mrs. Ellis.”

  “I was, but I finished.” She climbed into the wagon before he could reach her. “Give me a ride to the laundry?” It wasn’t far, but if she didn’t ride with him, she’d not be able to ask about the doctor’s orders until later. And if she didn’t ask now, she had a feeling it’d be harder to pull out an answer. “What did the doctor say?”

  He circled around the horse and wagon. “Nothing I didn’t expect to hear.”

  “Which was?” She tried to busy herself with rearranging her skirt so he’d not catch that she’d overheard the doctor’s instructions.

  “I’m on my leg too much, and I need to follow orders. Same old, same old.” He climbed up and called for Buttermilk to giddyap.

  So he wasn’t going to tell her about the increased need for stretching? She sat quietly, wondering if he’d open up, but they were in front of the laundry within minutes.

  He pulled to a stop, and this time, she waited for him to come help her. Once she was on the boardwalk, Nolan gave her a peck on the cheek.

  Her knees barely held up. Had he just done that in public?

  He stepped back, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I’ll be back shortly.” With that, he turned to leave.

  Once her head cleared, she watched him walk away. The townsfolk he greeted might not notice how he was trying to disguise his pain, but she did. That limp was not a good one. Had he not asked the doctor for anything?

  She crossed her arms. He’d ask for help if he really needed it, wouldn’t he?

  Maybe she was wrong. Maybe his limp was more exaggerated on some days than others. Once she lost him in the crowd, she turned into the laundry.

  Spencer’s tousled head popped in through the door that led to the back. “Mrs. Whitsett!” He called behind him. “Miss Stillwater’s here!”

  “Mrs. Key, you mean,” Leah’s voice responded.

  “Oh, I forgot.” He half-walked, half-jogged up with a handful of folded linens. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Key. Been working here all day. But we’re almost done!” He hefted his small armful onto the counter with a huff. “But don’t worry, I’m doing it for free, ain’t making Mrs. Whitsett pay me nothing.”

  Leah came in and swatted him playfully with the towel in her hand. “He’s not exactly free since I’ve got to feed him. He puts away more than a full-grown man.”

  Spencer shrugged. “I’m growing.”

  “I’m watching him while his parents are gone; however, they didn’t warn me how much his ‘free help’ was going to cost me.” Leah put her hands on her hips and exhaled as if exasperated, but the twinkle in her eye gave her away. “I might have to take out a loan to keep him fed.”

  “How long will the Hendrixes be gone?” They’d not mentioned they were leaving when they’d been over for dinner last week. Of course, they’d seemed in a hurry to leave—probably because she’d made such a fool of herself with the gravy and cream.

  Spencer climbed the counter halfway, perching himself on the hidden shelf. She forced herself not to tell him to get down since this wasn’t her place anymore.

  “They left after we were at your place, and they’re not supposed to be back for a looooong time. But they said Mrs. Whitsett shouldn’t have to watch me every day so I’m going to have to be with Celia on the weekends.” He frowned deep enough for dimples to show.

  She looked to Leah. “They’ve been gone for a whole week?”

  “Yep.” Spencer answered for her, jumping back down. “And they might be bringing back lots of ponies. But then they’ll be gone even loooooonger.”

  “But…” She shook her head.

  Nolan must not have had his leg stretched or massaged at all this past week.

  Did her nearness bother him so much he chose to suffer in silence? Of course, she could kind of understand—lately, she’d been nearly out of her mind whenever he was close for very long.

  “Are you all right?”

  Leah’s question dragged her back to the laundry.

  Seemed at some point she’d started hugging herself. “Yes, yes. Just wanted to check on you. Everything good?”

  She finally looked around. Spencer was correct. Considering the amount of neat stacks and empty bins, he’d helped her catch up.

  If only months ago she’d offered to feed Spencer after school, maybe she could’ve gotten things under control and retained possession of her business.

  And yet, she didn’t want to return.

  Leah swiped a damp tendril off her forehead. “I’m doing well. I’ve got a big order from the boardinghouse coming in tomorrow, so we’ll be busy.”

  “Good, well, I’m sorry to come in and head back out, but—”

  “Go on.” Leah shooed her toward the door. “We’ve got it covered. Tell Nolan hello.”

  Corinne somehow made it out onto the porch and to the wagon to wait for her husband.

  What was she going to do with him? He had to get that leg massaged and stretched.

  “It’s either business partners or lovers.”

  Corinne blew out a long, shaky breath. Business partners didn’t force massages on one another, so she’d have to let it go.

  …Or not.

  Business partners also didn’t kiss.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. No matter what happened, unlike the men before him, Nolan wouldn’t turn his back on her. He’d vowed to protect and provide and had done so. He truly planned to split his money with her. He did what he said he’d do.

  He deserved more than a business partner. But would she be enough?

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Corinne frowned up at the kitchen ceiling as Nolan thumped around upstairs.

  He’d hardly spoken to her on the way home after they’d stopped at the bank. He’d disappeared after unhitching the wagon, leaving her to peel potatoes alone. But that had been fine. It had given her time to think about what she needed to do about him.

  Her heart was urging her to disregard all fears, but her head kept reminding her of all the other times she’d allowed herself to love a man.

  Nolan had said if they didn’t want to be with one another, they could live separately. What if she handed her heart over one last time, and months down the road, he asked her to move out per their agreement?

  It could happen. No matter how nice he was, she had no assurance they’d survive as lovers. She’d loved Kurt, and that hadn’t been enough.

  Nolan came thumping down the stairs on crutches, and she shook her head at him. Unlike Kurt, this maddening man, who gave her everything she needed and wanted—asked nothing of her.

  She looked up at him as he came into the room. “Why didn’t you ask me to get your crutches for you?” If his leg hurt enough to switch to crutches, he should’ve asked her to go upstairs for him.

  “You were busy.”

  “I could’ve gotten them quicker.”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “It does. You don’t ask me for anything, and I need to earn my keep—my thirty-five percent. So, please, what can I do to help?”

  The furrows in his forehead deepened. “I can’t come up with anything you don’t already do.”

  She drummed her fingers on the counter. Was he not thinking about his leg, or had he decided he’d never ask for her help with that? “I think I understand now why your father insisted you marry. Not because he thought you inca
pable of running the ranch, but because you need someone to look after you since you refuse to do so yourself. Maybe he loved you too much to see you—”

  “Please.” He slashed his hand at her. “Don’t say any more.”

  She clamped her mouth shut, but her foot tapped a swift staccato. She tossed her knife onto the counter and blew out a breath. Why was she so upset at his thick-headedness, anyway? She’d accepted his marriage offer because he hadn’t required much of her.

  But he was supposed to be a good business partner. And how could she trust a man to run his part of their business if he did a fool thing like hurt himself by working too much? And for what reason? Pride?

  How dumb.

  “Excuse me?”

  Had she said that out loud? Good.

  Or maybe not, considering that hadn’t been kind. She closed her eyes and huffed. Why was she losing her head around him so often lately? She really, really wanted to go over and shake him … all the while hoping he’d stop her by grabbing her around the waist and kissing the daylights out of her.

  Oh, where had the sensible woman who’d married him gone?

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She turned and picked up another potato.

  “All right, do you want help with dinner?”

  The lump in her throat grew thick as she shook her head, keeping her back to him so he couldn’t see how close to tears she was. She’d insulted him, and he offered help. “No, thank you. Why don’t you go rest?”

  When he left, she stopped peeling potatoes and rubbed at her eyes.

  She had warned him not to fall in love with her, and here she’d gone and fallen in love with him.

  But maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Many people found joy after disappointment, didn’t they? Maybe this time, with an honest-to-goodness wonderful man and the approval of God, she’d find hers.

  She couldn’t let the fear of reliving past disappointments keep her from the chance of discovering a joy she’d never known.

  The silence in the parlor ticked on as Corinne’s knitting needles clacked steadily, as if she needed to finish her scarf tonight despite cold weather being at least a month away.