by Beth Rinyu
“Really, sweetheart, for the amount of money you pay each month for this place, the security stinks. All I had to do was tell the maintenance man I was your mother, and he let me in. No questions asked.”
“Get out now!” I demanded.
“Oh will you relax! I just want to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you, and if you don’t leave right now, I’ll—”
“You’ll what? Call the police?” She let out a loud, obnoxious laugh. “Go right ahead. I’m sure that detective that’s been nosing around would love an excuse to get back here and pick your brain some more.”
I stared at her, not saying a word.
She stood up from the couch and moved closer. “Just to put your mind to rest, Jess is going to be okay, and I’m fairly certain that unlike you, she’s not going to hold me responsible for what happened to her. She’s a big girl who is well aware of the danger that comes along with the job. Pity it took me all these years to realize that she was so much more loyal than you.” She shook her head. “Does he pay you well?”
My eyes widened. I didn’t want to engage in any conversation with her, but Simon was definitely a topic that was off limits.
“Oh, Bree, come on, I just asked a simple question. Why are you clamming up? You should be grateful to me. After all, I was the one who introduced you to him. I will say this: I didn’t think you had it in you to take care of a kid, I’m shocked.”
My eyes widened. Simon was a topic that was off limits and Jack was even more so. “You shut your mouth where he’s concerned.”
“Oh my goodness, how things have changed. You’re like a mama bear with her cub.” She snickered. “Did I ever tell you that I’m not really fond of kids?”
I lunged toward her, causing her to take a step back. “Is that a threat? Because I swear to god, if you go anywhere near him, I’ll kill you.”
“Au contraire, I seem to think you’re the one threating me. I’ll tell you what, why don’t you go tell your little detective friend that I threatened your former-client-turned-lover’s kid and see how that works out for both you and him.” She raised an eyebrow. “Just remember, my dear Aubree—you want to take me down, you’re going right down with me, as well as your former clients. So think about that before you go running your mouth. It was lovely to see you, darling.” A devious grin spread across her face as she exited.
Once she was gone, I ran on my trembling legs to the door. Inhaling and exhaling, I tried my best to pull it together. Margo had played on my weakness, knowing right where to hit me. How I despised her and wanted to see her rotting in prison for the rest of her life. I actually hated her more than Senator Stevens.
I paced around my apartment, not knowing what to do. As long as Jess didn’t talk to the police, everything would be okay. They wouldn’t have any case against Senator Stevens, and it wouldn’t lead them back to Margo. I was in the clear. I would just keep my lips sealed and everything would be fine.
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the knocking on my door. Cautiously making my way over, I peered at the peephole to find Detective Lyons on the other side. God, that woman was relentless. I took a deep breath, intending to stick with my original plan and not say a word.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Bree, but can I come in for a minute?” she requested as I opened the door.
“Sure,” I huffed, extending the door and allowing her in. I led her into the living room and offered her a seat, sitting opposite of her on the sofa.
“Bree, we pulled the video surveillance from the hotel where your friend was found, and then we pulled the video from the night you passed out in that same hotel. Both videos show you ladies entering the room with Senator Mark Stevens.”
I closed my eyes and looked away. My plan to just keep quiet was out the window now.
“Bree, I understand your unwillingness to talk because of the reason you were there with him. You’re worried you’ll get into trouble.”
“No, I’m not worried about me at all! I couldn’t care less what happens to me!” I snapped.
She shook her head in confusion. “Then I don’t get it—why are you being so secretive about this?”
I looked down once again, trying to chase away the tears.
“Bree, there have been several other rapes in the past that fit the same MO as this one—all of the women refusing to talk—and after going back and looking at the hotel records, all of them occurring on the same night Senator Stevens was staying there for some political event. He knows exactly how far he can go without getting his hands dirty, up until now. We think he was bribing these girls not to talk. So now we want to hang this son of a bitch and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“And just how do you plan on doing that, Detective?”
“With testimony from you and your friend.”
I shook my head. “No. I—I can’t do that.”
“Bree, we’re offering you immunity in exchange for you testifying.”
I creased my eyebrows in confusion. “Immunity from what?”
“Prostitution charges.”
“What! I wasn’t—”
“Call it what you want, but selling sex in exchange for money is illegal in the state of New York. It’s not rocket science, Bree. All you have to do is tell what he did to you, and your past and any of your clients associated with you will be forgotten.”
“And if I choose not to?”
“Then you’ll be brought up on charges, arrested, and have a record. We’ll have to involve your former clients to testify as well.”
I covered my face with my hands. My worst fear was coming true. I was dammed if I did and dammed if I didn’t. “And it will be all over the news because he’s a senator. So the whole world would know about what I did for a living.”
“We would try and shield you from that as best as we could.”
“I’m not stupid, Detective. The media lives for this stuff.” I shook my head and took a deep breath.
“I don’t understand why this is such a tough decision. You will walk away free and clear. No record. No mention of any of your former clients—and best of all, Senator Stevens will get what he has coming to him. Who are you trying to protect, Bree?”
“The man I love. The man who showed me there was a better life than the one I was living. I can’t humiliate him by letting the world know who I am.”
“Bree, I’m sure if he’s as wonderful as you say, he’ll see you through this.”
I blinked away the tears and nodded. “That’s just it. He will, and I don’t want him to.”
She creased her eyebrows in confusion.
“He has way too much to lose, and I won’t allow him to lose it over me.” I took a deep breath, knowing what I had to do was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. “I’m planning on going to California for a while to see my family. I’ll give you my number and you can let me know when you’ll need me to testify.”
We both stood up and she placed her hand on my shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing, Bree.”
“Yeah, tell that to my heart,” I sighed, writing down my number on a slip of paper and handing it off to her. “Detective?” I started once we reached the door. “What about Margo?”
She shook her head in confusion.
“My old boss, who runs the agency.”
“Oh, her.” She finally caught on. “I can’t tell you much about that, but I can assure you, you won’t need to be worrying about her for much longer. We’ll talk soon.” She flashed me a comforting smile and was out the door, taking my entire future with her by making me hold onto the past.
Chapter 35
I tried to get through the rest of the week as best I could. I had booked my ticket to California for the end of the week, with no return date planned. I battled my tears and my emotions, hoping Simon and Jack wouldn’t catch on to how badly my heart was breaking. Jack’s Mother’s Day celebration at school was a success, and every time I saw his happiness over me be
ing there my throat would tighten, knowing that soon I’d be leaving his life the way his real mother had. He was so excited to give me the painting that he did of him and me, and I couldn’t stop smiling every time I looked at my bright yellow hair and his big round glasses in the picture. We had a delicious lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that were cut into cookie cutter flower shapes. The other moms in the class actually talked to me and treated me like I belonged there. It was a great day—one I’d always remember whenever I thought of Jack.
“So, Jack, I’m going to be going to California,” I said as we walked home from school.
“Is that far?” he asked.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Why are you going there?”
“To visit my family. My brother lives there and so does my dad.”
“Oh.” He nodded. “When are you coming back?”
The knife in my chest twisted and turned with that question. I didn’t know how to answer it. I needed to be honest with him, but at the same time, I didn’t want to break his heart.
“Umm…I’m not really sure.”
He stared up at me in confusion just as we arrived at his house.
“Sit down,” I requested. We both took a seat on the steps. “I need to go away and make things right for everybody.”
“How?”
“Well, I haven’t talked to my dad in a while, and I miss him a lot. So I need to go see him.”
“But what about my daddy? Won’t you miss him too?” His voice cracked with emotion.
I nodded, trying my best to keep it together for his sake. “I will miss your daddy very much. In fact, I’m gonna miss you and your daddy more than anything in this whole wide world.”
“Then why are you leaving us?” Crocodile tears spilled from his eyes and down his face.
“Jack, I wish I could explain to you why and have you understand, but I can’t. I just need you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong. You are the greatest kid ever, and I will love you forever and always.”
“So I’m never gonna see you again?” His bottom lip quivered and he began to sob.
“I don’t know, Jack,” I whispered. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, trying my best to calm him down as the tears spilled from my eyes. I hated myself for being the reason he was so upset, and I would’ve done anything if there was a way I could alleviate his pain.
“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay and be married to my daddy.”
I choked back a sob, wanting the same thing he did but knowing it would never be possible.
“Hey, do you remember that movie we watched a few weeks ago about Feivel the mouse?” I asked, trying to calm us both down.
He nodded and tried to catch his breath.
“Do you remember when he got lost from his family, and he and his sister were both singing that song to each other?”
“Yes. The one we sang to each other?”
“Yes. That one.” I managed a smile. “And do you remember what they said in that song?”
He nodded.
“So at night when you’re feeling lonely or we’re missing each other a whole lot, just remember we’re both sleeping underneath the same sky, and then I want you to go to your window and look at the moon, and know that I’m looking at the same moon and thinking of you too.”
“Okay.” His voice faltered.
“I promise you everything will be okay, Jack. I promise.” I closed my eyes and rested my lips on the top of his head, trying to reassure myself just as much as I was him.
***
Jack was fast asleep by the time Simon arrived home from work. My stomach was in a knot when I heard him walking through the front door. My heart had already taken a major beating with Jack earlier and now it was going into the ring for round two.
“Hey,” he greeted when he entered the kitchen.
I bit my lip and gazed at him, taking everything about him in. “Hey,” I responded.
“Jack asleep?” he asked, coming closer and planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“How was his party?”
“It was really nice.” My voice cracked, and I quickly turned around to heat his dinner in the microwave, hoping he didn’t pick up on it.
“So, I was thinking. I have to go to this conference in Orlando next month, and I want you and Jack to come, and we’ll go to Disney.”
I was speechless. All I could do was shake my head and look down at the floor.
“What’s the matter—don’t you like Mickey Mouse?” he joked.
“Simon, I’m leaving.” I forced the words out.
He narrowed his eyes. “Where are you going?”
“Back home,” I whispered.
“To California?”
I nodded.
“To visit?”
My silence answered his question.
“What the fuck, Bree? You just make this decision without even talking to me about it!” His voice rose.
“Because I knew if I told you, you’d tell me not to go.”
“Well, why in the hell would I want you to?”
“Simon, I talked to that detective again the other day. They have video of me with that senator. So she basically told me I have two choices—either testify and all will be forgotten, or not testify and be brought up on charges.”
“Charges for what?”
“My former occupation,” I muttered, unable to say that ugly prostitution word.
“And that’s it, you just decide you’re going to up and leave based on what this detective is threatening you with?”
“Don’t you get it? Either way I’m screwed. If I testify, my name and face will be all over the news. If I don’t I’ll have a record, and all of my former clients will be brought up on charges as well.”
He raked his hand through his hair. “So what good is running away to California going to do for you? Is it going to make it all magically go away or something?”
“No. It’s not.”
“Then what the hell, Bree? Can you please explain to me why you’re doing this? Because I’m having a really hard time understanding your reasoning.”
“Because I can’t be with you.” I had to look away, unable to stand the pain radiating all over his face. “You’re such an honorable man, but I won’t allow you to be humiliated and jeopardize everything because of me. I’m not going to make you choose between me and a decent, normal life that you and Jack deserve, and most of all I will not be the reason you risk losing your son.”
He was speechless, gazing at me in disbelief. Each moment of silence seemed like hours, and my heart was being shredded piece by piece with every second that passed. He stood up and shook his head.
“Say something, Simon,” I pleaded.
“What do you want me to say, Bree? That I thought what we had was different? That I thought you were different? I thought I loved you, and I thought you loved me too.”
“I do love you.”
He backed away as I moved closer.
“Don’t you understand? I’m doing this because I love you, and I love Jack so much.”
He swallowed hard and raised his eyebrows. “No, I don’t understand. Because when you love someone, you take the good with the bad. You don’t run away the first time something goes wrong.”
“This is different, Simon.”
“How? How the hell is it different? Because you’re afraid of what people might think of me if they find out about you? I don’t give a fuck! Let them think what they want. Their opinions mean mothing to me!” he shouted.
My throat tightened and the surge of tears rushed to my eyes. “And maybe I could look past that too, but I will not take the chance of having that little boy taken away from a father who loves him more than anything in this world because of something I chose to do in my past. He doesn’t deserve to be put through that, and you can’t tell me that he does.”
He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. Wh
en he opened them up once again, I hardly recognized those beautiful green gems that I had fallen under the spell of so many times. They were glazed over with pain, and something told me my words had resonated with him, even if he’d never admit it.
I cautiously took a few steps closer, until we were only inches apart. “You know I’m right, and it’s okay to say it,” I whispered.
He turned his head when I reached up and skimmed the side of his face with my hand.
“Bree, just stop. If this is what you’re choosing to do, then just do it. Go. Don’t prolong it.”
I nodded and inhaled deeply, wanting to hug him so badly, wanting to kiss him one last time, but as he stood before me in a detached, statue-like manner, I knew he’d never allow it. The pain in my heart was immeasurable, all of which could have been avoided if I did what it wanted me to and stayed with Simon. But even though that was what I wanted more than anything in the world, my head and my conscience were telling me differently. I was no stranger to heartache, but this was so different from any I’d ever experienced before. Simon and Jack were so different. I was walking away from two of the best things to ever happen to me. I knew I was making the ultimate sacrifice, and I’d always regret it, but I would never regret putting Simon and Jack’s wellbeing over my feelings. I wanted so badly to believe I was right for him because he was so right for me, but I wasn’t. I only hoped that one day he’d understand my reasoning for walking away, and realize that I truly did love him and Jack more than anything in this world…and I always would.
Chapter 36
“Okay, now you’ll be sure to walk Mimi twice a day?” Trey asked for what seemed like the millionth time.
My arrival in California had coincided perfectly with Paul and Trey’s trip to Paris. I was not only a house guest, but now in charge of their beloved “daughter,” Mimi, who just happened to be a four-legged, furry chow mix.
“Yes, Trey! I promise, Mimi will be in good hands with me.”