by Janae Keyes
“Taylor, I love you so much,” Nate panted as his arm looped around my waist, pulling me in tight. I felt my own climax coming, and I screamed while wrapping a leg around Nate’s body, I was trying to keep him as close as possible while I rode out my orgasm.
“Yes, please, Lord Branagan!”
Nate yanked my leg away and pulled out of me quickly. Hot seed found its way onto my belly as he released onto my skin. I placed my head onto the pillows as I closed my eyes and worked to control my breathing.
My eyes opened as I felt Nate wiping his come from me with tissues. As he finished, he left me alone on the bed and disappeared into what I assumed was the bathroom.
Only moments later, Nate exited the bathroom and was quick to join me on the bed. His delicate fingers worked to untie my wrists until they were free. He rubbed my wrists gently to help return the blood flow to my fingers before he pulled me into his arms.
“I’m sorry about that,” he muttered as he motioned to the area on my stomach where he’d released himself. “I wasn’t expecting this, and I lacked a condom.”
“It’s okay,” I breathed as I pressed my face to his chest. I instantly inhaled pine and myrrh and my body relaxed even more into his strong arms. I moved my head and glanced up toward his face. “I missed you so much.”
“I love you, Taylor,” Nate declared to me. “Having you leave, it broke me in every way it could. I know I hurt you and I’m more than sorry. You mean the world to me and you are the only one I want to be with, please know that my darling.” I nodded as I saw the truth in his eyes, he wanted me, he’d picked me. I gave him a smile before I pressed my mouth to his. I couldn’t get enough of the kisses I’d missed so much.
Breaking away, Nate sat up in bed and pulled me with him. This is what I remembered. This is what happiness felt like. I allowed the butterflies in my stomach to flutter as Nate, and I sat in silence.
“You know, Anne isn’t speaking to me,” Nate said, breaking the silence. “She was so angry with me when you left. She only speaks to me if she has to and keeps it all business. Langston didn’t talk to me for a few days at first. He was easy to break, but Anne, I don’t think she will speak to me anytime soon.”
“You deserve it,” I declared.
“That’s true,” he admitted before he gave me a kiss on my forehead. I smiled to myself as I leaned into him. Once more, we plunged into silence. I felt that both of us were trying to wrap our heads around this, being together again.
I finally took in the hotel room since arriving. The modern room was entirely different from the grandiose and beautifully aged lobby and halls of the hotel. The walls were a soft powder blue, and the bed was a wooden framed canopy with white linens.
Something about the room struck me. I saw nothing that belonged to Nate in the room. It was a bare hotel room with no suitcases or traveling accessories. It was as if he’d arrived and checked into a room without bringing anything with him.
I slightly pulled my body away from Nate’s and glared him in the eyes. He seemed confused and unaware of the reason for my sudden change in demeanor.
“Are you staying at this hotel?” I asked him firmly. I saw the wheels turning in his mind.
“No, I got the room in hopes of just talking to you. I never expected us to…” his voice trailed off. “I have a room at the InterContinental,” he informed me.
“Oh,” I responded as he pulled me close to him once more. He was trying to act as if everything was okay, but I felt it wasn’t, something was off, I would ignore it for now. This was a dangerous choice, but at that moment my heart needed the padded decision of the danger. “I’m glad you came. Maybe, we can head down soon, and I can introduce you to my family.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” Nate insisted.
“Why?” I asked. He was here, we were back together, there was no reason that I couldn’t introduce the man I loved to my family.
“It’s just not,” he declared as if the conversation was over.
“Nate, what aren’t you telling me?”
“This isn’t the time my darling.”
“Isn’t the time for what?”
“We aren’t talking about it. I came here to be with you. To let you know how much I love you and to just hold you for a moment,” he confided.
“For a moment?” I questioned. I wanted him to hold me forever, not just for a moment. It hit me then. I knew why he got a room here and hadn’t invited me to his hotel. I knew why it was only a moment, and why he wouldn’t meet my family.
Tears escaped my eyes as I yanked my body away from him. I was as stupid as they came. I gave him none of my words as I worked to pick up my dress and underwear. I wanted to escape the heartbreak I’d allowed myself to fall into.
“Taylor, my darling,” Nate said as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Shut the fuck up with this darling shit!” I screeched out through my tears. “You’re still engaged, aren’t you? Or did you get married already?”
“I’m not married,” Nate affirmed, but that only meant he wasn’t married. Nate was still engaged.
“You’re sick. You are so fucking sick. You know that I love you and you know I’d take you back in a second because you own my heart. You claim to love me, but you just hurt me like it’s nothing. My heart and its pain mean nothing to you.” I worked to slip my thong up my legs as I convulsed through my tears. “You expect honesty from everyone, but you can never be honest with others, especially me.”
“Taylor, please don’t do this. You know I love you, and you know I don’t want this marriage with Miranda.” Nate had jumped from the bed, and his arms went around me, holding my body to his.
“Get the fuck off me!” I grunted loudly as I shoved him away. I grabbed my dress and threw it over my head before reaching behind myself and zipping it up. “That’s why we did this here isn’t it? Miranda is in your room across town. I got the joy of being your little slut for the evening.”
“Don’t call yourself that,” Nate growled angrily.
“What I am to you, though, your own personal slut, your side chick. I can’t believe I let myself fall into you like that. I only allow my heart to get broken and you don’t care.” I stepped toward the door, but Nate took hold of my wrist.
“I do not love Miranda. I love you. I don’t want to hurt you--”
“But you do it anyway,” I spat as I yanked my wrist away. I pulled the door open and slammed it shut behind me.
THREE
Taylor
RUSHING THROUGH THE hall, I didn’t pay attention to anything or anyone around me. I wanted to leave. I needed to escape. Nate only continued to hurt me, and I’d opened the door to that hurt. I wasn’t as smart as I prided myself on, I was incredibly dumb.
I was a fool to think that he’d chosen me over her. She brought his family things they desired such as more wealth and status. I could never bring that type of leverage to the table, and therefore I was cast aside, left as a secret. I knew I didn’t deserve to be broken this way. I’d made some mistakes along the way, but in my 23 years of life, I’d never done anyone wrong, and I tried to be a good person. Still, despite it all, I found myself subject to pain. Maybe there was a lesson for me to learn.
Stepping out of the elevator, I arrived in the lobby. I tried to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my face. I spotted Langston who stood right away from one of the couches. He came to me and hugged me tight.
“I need to get out of here. I want to go home,” I cried onto Langston’s chest.
“I will take you wherever you need to go,” Langston insisted. I pulled away and looked up into the face of the kind man.
“But Nate?” I questioned. Langston was Nate’s driver after all. I appreciated the help, but I didn’t want Langston penalized for my own issues. I could get home myself.
“He can walk,” Langston growled. I nodded and gave him a kind smile. He didn’t need to do this for me, but he took it upon himself to act like a big
brother to me, protective and kind.
“I need to get my purse. I will be back,” I informed him before I jogged toward the ballroom. The closer I got to the wedding the louder it was. I could hear the chatting and the music.
My tears continued to fall as I weaved my way through wedding guests in the hall and made my way toward the main ballroom to find my purse. I wanted out.
“Tay!” I heard my sister’s voice yell out. I felt terrible for leaving Katie’s wedding this way. I’d been the worst maid of honor, and now I was skipping out on the rest of her big day because of my problems that kept me paralyzed. “Tay, I’m about to toss my bouquet.”
“I’m sorry Katie… I’ve um...I’ve got to go,” I sniffed as my sister’s brown eyes glared at me, filled with concern.
“Tay, what happened?” she asked me as she took ahold of my arm and pulled me over to an area outside of the ballroom that was filled with comfortable couches.
Katie sat down on a couch and pulled me down to sit next to her. I shrugged as I didn’t want to go into the entire story with her, but from the look in Katie’s eyes, I knew she was going to force the story out of me.
“He came here,” I said quietly as I looked down at my wrists, I could just see the ligature marks from him binding me with his tie.
“The guy that you were dancing with, that was him?” Katie inquired. I nodded in response. “He was hot, wow.” I giggled at Katie’s reaction. Nate was extremely attractive. He could have anywhere he wanted, he had Miranda but strung me along. “What happened?”
I still refused to look up at my sister as I was embarrassed that I’d allowed it to happen. I knew better, but I didn’t do better. Shifting my legs, I felt a spot on my thigh where he’d bit me. I was fairly certain I would have a bruise there.
“He and I went upstairs and... we had sex,” I finally admitted as a gasp came from Katie. I glanced in Katie’s direction to see her with her hands over her mouth.
“So, why are you crying?” she asked. Very few people knew the whole story and to explain to her, I was going to have to tell her everything, but keep it as fast as I could; Langston was waiting for me.
“I need to start at the beginning. His name is Lord Nathaniel Branagan. Yes, you heard that right, he’s a Lord. He is who hired me to paint over there. Somehow, I fell in love with him, and things were good until I found out he was engaged. It is an arranged marriage, and he keeps telling me he loves me, but he doesn’t have the balls to call off the wedding. When he came today, I thought he picked me, and I didn’t think. I let him take me away and have all of me again. I found out he hadn’t picked me. He’s still engaged, and I get to be hurt, still.” I watched Katie’s face as I explained it to her. She’d gone from shock to sadness before she pulled me into a hug.
“I’m sorry. I can hear it in your voice. You love him a lot. I know it. I’m not mom, and I’m not going to try and be her. Do what you feel is right,” Katie said. I shrugged, honestly, I didn’t know what was right. If I followed my heart, I’d be in his arms, but following my head, I was keeping cautious to protect my heart from getting broken again. “It seems like he might love you.”
“He kept telling me over and over again. I can’t allow myself to be some secret. I want him to love me openly and if he can’t do that… I don’t know,” I explained to Katie who nodded at my conscientious.
“As your big sister, who just got married, I just want you to be as happy as I am right now. You deserve all the happiness in the world,” she mused sweetly. If I could count on anyone, I could always count on Katie.
“Thanks. Right now I want to go home and rest,” I admitted to my big sister, who gave me a soft smile. She rubbed my back for a second.
“From the looks of those hickeys on your neck, you had a great time at least,” she mentioned. I felt my face going hot with embarrassment.
Katie stood and pulled me up with her. I accompanied her into the ballroom where the party was still in full swing. I spotted our parents chatting with family members. I knew it was a great opportunity to make my escape.
I found the table where I’d left my purse. I picked up the small clutch bag that matched my bridesmaid’s dress before I began to make my way toward the door.
“Okay single ladies, it is time to catch that bouquet!” the DJ announced and like a stampede, all the single women in the room made their way toward the designated spot on the dancefloor.
Katie stood in her spot; a permanent smile was plastered on her face as she stood with her bouquet of coral and white roses. I stood near the entrance behind the insane women on the dancefloor who were already shoving at one another for their chance to catch the bundle of flowers. I found myself cackling at the madness unfolding before my eyes.
Katie turned her back to the group and on the count of three she tossed her bouquet hard. Tumbling over the group of women who all tried to jump toward the flying flowers, the bouquet came straight in my direction. Acting quickly, I reached my hand out and grabbed it, preventing it from smacking me in my face.
I felt all eyes on me as I stood with the flowers of the bride in hand. I’d caught it, and the room went into whistles and whispers of gossip. The superstition was that that woman who caught the bouquet would be the next to get married. Nervously, I let out a giggle before I remembered Langston. I turned away quickly and began to race back to the lobby, holding the bouquet firmly in my hands.
The moment I reached the ornate stairwell, I glanced downstairs to see Langston speaking with Nate. Langston looked angry, and though they were speaking in hushed voices, his tone noted his irritation.
Halfway down the stairs, Langston glanced up in my direction and gave me a nod. My eyes met Nate’s right away, and my heart stopped for a split second. Even through all the pain that consumed my heart, the love I had for him dominated my every emotion. It kept me bound and submissive to its will and control as he’d done with me.
Reaching the two men, I refused to look in Nate’s direction, yet I felt the energy from him pulling me into him. It took every bit of my willpower to resist allowing his arms to wrap around me and hold me tight.
“As I’ve informed you. I will be taking Taylor wherever she needs to go. You can find yourself a new mode of transportation for the evening or maybe you can walk. A walk might be in order, you will have time to think about what you’ve done to Taylor,” Langston said to Nate in an angry tone. I kept my eyes focused on the ground, avoiding Nate’s stare.
“Taylor,” Nate whispered. My head shot up. I saw the heartbreak instantly in his olive eyes. I shook my head. He might have been hurt, but I was suffering.
“I don’t think Taylor has anything else to say to you,” Langston snapped as he held out his arm. I inhaled a deep, shaky breath and took his arm.
Strolling toward the exit with Langston, I couldn’t help, but take a final glance at Nate. He stood in his suit sans tie. The look on his face was one of defeat as he watched me leave. I loathed the torment we were allowing ourselves to experience. There was a chance that this was how we were leaving things, but something in the way he touched me and worshiped my body in that hotel room told me this wouldn’t be how it ended. For now, this was how we would have to separate to find growth.
THE SHINING LIGHTS of San Francisco sparkled in the distance as I finished off the last bite of my In-N-Out burger then crumpled the wrappings and unceremoniously tossed them into the bag sitting next to me on the bench. I let out a sigh as I continued to look out at the city.
I glanced over to see Langston giving me a soft smile as he took the bag toward a trash can.
I stood from my spot on the bench and started to the pedestrian walkway that went over the Golden Gate bridge from the vista point I’d been sitting at for the last half hour. Langston was kind enough to bring me here at my request. I needed a moment in a place I knew would give me some sort of clarity.
Tonight, the air was perfect; the usual chill was missing, and the breeze was light and pleasant a
s I walked with Langston’s jacket over my bare shoulders. It was getting late. There weren’t many tourists left on the bridge, and it remained calm, which was what I needed.
I had walked for about five minutes before I stopped. I leaned onto the railing, placing my arms on the red-orange of the metal and glancing off into the distance at the city where I knew the man who held my heart was.
I hadn’t noticed that Langston had caught up with me until he cleared his throat. I turned my head slightly in his direction. The tall man gave me a weak smile before he too glanced out at the gorgeous city before us.
“I’m not sure who I’m more frustrated with, Nate or myself,” I said before taking a breath. I despised that I couldn’t not love Nate and I was angry with Nate for his lack of honesty.
“He loves you. That’s a fact, but he shouldn’t lead you on the way he does,” Langston expressed. I knew Nate loved me, the look in his eyes practically screamed it to me.
“I don’t understand why he can’t give me the same honesty he expects from everyone else. He has this thing about loyalty and honesty, yet he can’t give it back. I can’t allow him to break my heart like this, but at the same time, I have this desire to be with him through everything,” I explained to Langston as I wiped away a single tear that found its way from my eye.
I felt an arm go around me and I looked up to Langston who looked down at me, his face filled with sadness.
“I’ve known the Branagan Family since I was young. As you know, my father worked for them. Nathaniel gets his desire for loyalty from them. That family has this umbrella they cast over themselves, and they demand loyalty in all walks of life. Though he tries to fight against them, he is still tied into their loyalty. The thing is, loyalty is making him marry a woman he doesn’t love, and leave the one he loves heartbroken.” Langston peered down at the dark water below us as he spoke.