by Janae Keyes
“I’m angry with him because it is time that he breaks that loyalty. It has done nothing, but hurt him and now you. You’re good for him. I’d never seen him the way he was with you,” Langston said with a smile on his face.
“What about his ex?” I inquired. I knew before me there was someone else that had broken his heart.
“Ivy. He was with her for a while until it was revealed that his parent’s had set them up behind his back, Ivy knew all along, and when confronted by Nathaniel she confessed before she left him for someone else. His parents are desperate for him to marry and produce a male heir with an acceptable mate. To me if someone has found love, that is their acceptable mate.” Though before Nate had tried to make me believe that marrying someone like me was okay, I knew it wasn’t. “When he is with you, he is a completely different person. I knew from the moment the two of you met on the plane that something had changed in him. He’d confided in me that he had lingering feelings for you. I was happy for him, but he needs to stand up to his parents and tell them enough is enough.”
“I just want to be happy and right now being happy is with him,” I admitted out loud for the first time. “I can’t be that girl, though, in love with someone I can’t be with. He has this pull on me, and when he is around, it is hard to resist. At least he is over in England, and I’m here, I will move on. I have to move on.” I wiped away my tears that were falling rapidly, I was giving up on a future with Nate and accepting that there was no future with him. “I guess you can take me home now,” I sniffed.
“Are you sure?” Langston asked. “I’m free to take you wherever you want.”
“I’m sure. I want to go home.”
FOUR
Nate
FUCKED UP, DIDN’T even describe it all. I’d beyond fucked things up with Taylor. After three weeks, I had to reach out to her. I didn’t exactly know how to do it. I’d let three whole weeks pass, and the closest thing to contacting her had been allowing my accountant to deposit two million dollars into her bank account.
There had been days of going back and forth with my own decision before I decided going to San Francisco was the best thing. Maybe I saw things differently in my head, but I should have known they would end up fucked. Taylor was not just talented, but intelligent beyond reason and her years, she would pick up on my failure to be completely honest.
I started out slow, with the champagne. If anyone knew, it would be Taylor. I’d spent the past couple days outside her parents home, waiting for a glimpse of my darling. Her parents and sister would come and go, but there was no sight of Taylor. Though the night before the wedding, I’d spotted a light come on in an upstairs bedroom. The silhouette I saw, I knew it immediately, my Taylor.
Giving Langston my instructions, he went into the salon and delivered the champagne for the bride and her maidens. I had Langston park on a corner, and after a few hours of waiting, I saw her for the first time in three weeks. She sat in the driver’s seat of her mother’s BMW, tears streaming down her face. It took every bit of control I had not to go straight to the car and hold her tight. I knew those tears were there because of me. I’d fucked her over.
As soon as she went into the salon, Langston and I left to head back to San Francisco, where I’d gotten a hotel room at the InterContinental. Though waiting in my room was a sight I hadn’t expected.
I went straight into my room with the intentions of changing into the suit I’d special ordered for the wedding. When Taylor ordered her bridesmaids gown, I’d ordered a tie made in the same color as her dress. When the tie arrived at my house a week after Taylor left, I hadn’t considered actually wearing it, but being here and making the decision to see Taylor at the wedding, wearing it seemed like the best choice.
Though, waiting in my room, I found the one person that was the complication in this mess, my fiancée, Miranda. She sat, poised as always, on the small couch in my suite. A teacup in her hand as she gave me a soft smile. I sighed upon seeing her. I’d spent the last three weeks avoiding her as much as I could, though it had been difficult.
The last I’d seen Miranda was a week prior at the official engagement party thrown by our families. I was grateful Taylor had been out of the country for that shit show.
“When did you get in?” I asked her immediately as I threw my jacket over the back of a chair. Miranda’s bright blue eyes met mine as she placed her teacup on the table.
“This morning, I was surprised to find you were out, love,” she informed me. I shuddered at her current term of endearment for me. Though it was an arranged marriage we were forced into, Miranda wasn’t reluctant and threw herself into this sham of a relationship from the start. She was very much like my older sister Evangeline who was a slave to duty above all else. I was also a slave to the same duty, if I hadn’t found myself bound to said responsibilities, I would be holding my Taylor close at that moment, locked away in Branagan Manor.
“Doing some early sightseeing,” I muttered before passing her by. I was determined to get ready for the wedding, to see my beautiful Taylor.
“Nathaniel,” she started, I sharply turned in her direction with a huff.
“What are you doing here in the first place?” I asked her, my voice clearly displaying my discontentment with her arrival.
“I’m here as your fiancée. I am trying to grow something between us. I know this arranged marriage thing isn’t easy, but it has worked for generations before us. Look at both our parents,” she mentioned my parents who were also originally bonded by duty and not true love. “Nathaniel, we can do this. I’m completely willing. I’ve heard things about you, about your way of living and sexual preferences. I can do whatever I need to to rightfully be your doting and loving wife.”
Miranda stood from her spot. She pulled her long brunette hair from the neat bun she wore it in. Her thin fingers worked at the buttons of her jacket. As her jacket fell away, I was greeted with a sight that would make most men cave. She stood in a teal blue matching lace bra and panty set. Her black stockings held up by a matching garter belt. Her hips swayed as she padded her feet across the flooring to where I stood, shocked.
“I’m willing to be whoever you need me to be for you, my Lord.” With her last two words, I knew there was only one person I wanted to share that space with.
I tore my eyes away from the alluring sight in front of me. Maybe I was being a downright fool for denying Miranda, but I only needed one person, that was my Taylor. Miranda’s hand came to my shoulder. She slowly ran it down my chest as she began to flick the buttons of my shirt open.
“Not now Miranda,” I growled as I pushed her hand away. Miranda let out a grunt of frustration at my denial of her advances. There was a huge possibility that she actually wanted something to transpire between us, yet I was not on the welcoming end of her sexual advances.
“What else do you want Nathaniel?” she grunted. “Do you want me on my hands and knees on the floor, begging for you to fuck me with everything you have?”
“What I want is for you to move out of my way. I’m attending a wedding this afternoon, and I need to get ready. Before you ask, no you are not invited to join me.” I had nothing else to say to her. I left her alone in the sitting room of my suite before I hurried away to dress for the wedding. The only thing on my mind at that moment was seeing Taylor.
UPSETTING TAYLOR HAD been the last thing on my agenda. I’d sat in the shadows as I watched her walk down the aisle looking like a goddess. Again at the reception, watching the way her hips swayed to the music keeping me entranced. At that moment, I could no longer stay in the shadows, but I had to hold her close.
Everything went faster and further than I’d expected. Having Taylor close, in my arms, touching her body, and making love to her. The joy that had left my life three weeks ago was back, and she was mine. That didn’t last long because my Taylor wasn’t one to be deceived.
The moment she walked out of the hotel with Langston, I wondered if I would see her again as I
’d hurt her beyond reason. Inside she knew the truth, Taylor knew that my heart belonged to her and only her. She knew I loved her with everything inside of me, yet I didn’t have the strength to deny my family their duty.
I rubbed my temples. I’d fucked up. I’d once again made her cry and tore her delicate heart to shreds, maybe I shouldn’t have come to San Francisco at all. Her words as we danced to the song at the reception stung me.
“I gave you all of me, and you never gave me all of you.” Her words echoed in my mind. She’d spoken the truth. Taylor had surrendered every morsel of herself to me in mind, body, and spirit, yet I lacked the capacity to do the same with her.
I took a breath. I didn’t want to return to my hotel to only be greeted with Miranda. I did have the room that Taylor and I had just vacated. Going there would be a quiet escape while I figured out what to do next. There was no way I could leave things with Taylor how they were. It wouldn’t be right for either of us.
Turning toward the elevators, a hand gripped my upper arm, stopping me in my tracks. I spun back to come face to face with the bride. She and Taylor favored one another in small ways, but as Taylor had mentioned to me, her sister Katie looked very much like their father while Taylor favored their mother.
“Wait right there,” she growled, her brows furrowed and a look of discontentment plastered on her face. There was no doubt that I was in a world of trouble. “You’re the fucker who hurt my sister.”
“I’m not going to deny it,” I admitted. She blinked a few times. I don’t think she expected me to be honest about my wrongdoing. I’d broken Taylor’s heart, and I wasn’t going to deny the horrible thing I’d done. “Please, just know I love your sister. She is the best thing to have ever happened to me, and I’ve failed her.”
“Figure your shit out, and until you do, please leave my little sister out of it. I can’t stand seeing my always happy little sister filled with sadness. You have no idea, how much her love for you is keeping her heart from moving on. Please, I’m begging you not to hurt her and if you can’t leave her out of your mess, leave her be,” Katie was begging me. I saw the pleading in her eyes. She had to know I didn’t ever want to hurt Taylor.
“Know I’m trying, and I want to make it up to her, she means... everything... to me,” I said, my voice cracking. I glanced away from her, taking a breath, I was determined not to allow myself to cry in front of her.
Taking a moment I glanced back in her direction, her face had softened at my display of emotion and her grip on me loosened.
“I know you love her. Try and do what’s best for her. If that means leaving her alone and letting her get on with her life, do it.” With those words, she turned and walked away, back toward her party. I inhaled a sharp breath. Could I leave and no longer have contact with the woman that held my heart?
I moved quickly in order to catch an elevator to my room. It didn’t take me long to make it to the hotel room that Taylor and I had shared for those few beautiful moments.
Closing the door behind me, I spotted my discarded tie on the bed immediately. Before my eyes, I saw the one sight that had held me captivated only a half an hour before, Taylor naked and bound on the bed. Every inch of her delicate chocolate skin had been on display and aching for my touches. After everything, it was as if she was on autopilot and she relinquished all control to me.
Sitting on the bed, I took the tie in my hands and ran my fingers along the silky fabric before placing my face in my hands. It wasn’t like me to feel weak or out of control, but yet I’d been that way for the past three weeks. Everything was spiraling out of my control, and I couldn’t find a handle on it all.
There was a possibility, though, a way to get Taylor back to me. I needed to get her back to England, on my soil. I had to find subtle ways of regaining her trust and her heart. I had to repair the damage I’d done first.
Color, Taylor’s weakness was color, her favorite source of color, flowers. I’d start small, a few dozen colorful roses at her doorstep. A bombardment of color for my love.
I ached to have the feel of her warm skin on the tips of my fingers, and I burned to hear the sound of her whimpers as I held her on the edge of pleasure. It was essential to hold her close and feel the thumping of our hearts beating in unison.
WHEN MORNING ARRIVED, I knew there would be no more hiding. I would have to get my plan into place and face not just Miranda, but my old friend Langston.
Abandoning my hotel room, I checked out and made the decision to turn my cell phone back on. I’d sent one last text the night before. I’d informed Langston that I would be staying at the Palace Hotel and if Miranda caused any alarms to calm her as best he could. Though he was upset with me, I knew he still held loyalty to me and would take care of anything I needed him to do.
By the time I exited the hotel, Langston was parked in front and stood poised at my door. I gave my old friend a nod as he opened the back door and allowed me inside. He jogged around to the driver’s seat and without a word to me, started the car and was off toward my hotel.
We came to a halt at a stoplight. I glanced around at the large Californian city. Taylor had grown up in this area, and from the moment I’d landed at the airport, I felt a connection with her. I’d solidified my plan, and I wasn’t leaving this country without knowing I’d see Taylor again.
“Langston,” I started. I spotted his eyes dart into the rearview mirror, watching me intensely. “How was Taylor when you took her home last night?” I needed to know of her condition, I knew I hadn’t done right by her and the shit show that was the night before had sent her away from me, once more brokenhearted.
“She was hurt and angry. I understand her sentiments. She loves you, and you can’t do the one thing she asks of you,” Langston spat angrily.
“I know,” I grunted in frustration. “I know, she deserves more than what I can give. I know this, but I need her.”
“And from what I saw last night, she needs you too,” Langston informed me. My heart swelled at knowing she needed me as I needed her.
“I must get her back, and I know I need to figure out what to do with Miranda and my family. I’m at a loss. I am thinking of calling up Greg on that offer,” I mentioned to my friend as he drove through the streets of the busy Northern California city.
“Do you think she’d take it?” Langston inquired. I shrugged, maybe Taylor was at her wit's end with me and no matter the offer I made, she would deny me. There was nothing without trying. I had to take the plunge and attempt to get her back into my life at all cost.
FIVE
Taylor
THEY SAY, HOME is where the heart is. With every apartment and condo I looked at, I felt that to be more and more true. The day after Katie’s wedding I made the decision to work toward moving on with my life, step one would be moving out of my parent’s house. I had two million dollars sitting in the bank, and I was going to use it to my advantage.
I’d spent most of my morning going around San Francisco with a real estate agent in hopes of finding my perfect home. I thought that when I found the place, I would know it was meant to be, but with every place, I felt further and further away from home.
There was that feeling that signaled home, and I’d only ever felt it a few times in my life. I always felt it at my parent’s house where I grew up. I felt it when I moved into my packed apartment, and I felt it when at Branagan Manor with Nate.
Nate wasn’t making it easy for me to move on either. In the past days, he’d sent me text after text and my bedroom was slowly filling with flowers that were being constantly delivered. He wanted to see me, but I refused to return contact. This was already hard enough on me, and he wasn’t making it any easier.
My stomach growled as I jogged down the busy San Francisco street. It was lunchtime on a Friday, and everything was crowded and busy. I weaved through people as I finally made it to the little Mexican spot I was meeting Maci at for lunch.
It wasn’t hard to spot Maci, my old room
mate; her hair was currently a bright shade of pink. She allowed color to take her in directions that even I was too chicken to go in. My friend waved me over, and I made my way through the busy little restaurant to her.
I plopped my behind in the empty chair across from my bubbly friend who’d already started on a margarita.
“I need one of those,” I said to her as I pointed out her frosty light green drink.
“Apartment hunting not good?” Maci questioned before she took a sip of her margarita and waved to a waitress.
“No, I didn’t like anything. I’m frustrated with everything,” I grunted as a waitress approached our table.
The older woman that came to us looked exhausted. I knew how she felt, and I was ready to make her life easy.
“What can I get for you?” the waitress asked.
“One strawberry margarita and a taco platter, please,” I said kindly to the woman who scribbled my order down.
“Taco platter for me too,” Maci chimed in.
“Coming up,” the woman informed us before she took our menus from the table and walked away.
My cell phone chimed from my purse. I wasn’t even going to look at it, more than likely it was another message from Nate. I placed my face in my hands and growled out of frustration.
“My guess is Nate,” Maci noted knowingly. If anyone besides Katie knew what was going on, it was Maci. I’d kept my best friend clued in since I left to England, she knew every detail of my insane love affair with Nate.
“My guess is also,” I sighed before reaching into my bag for my cell phone. I pulled it out and found yet another message from him. I sat my phone on the table and slid it across the Maci.
“Taylor, I’m leaving tomorrow, and I’d like to meet, please. When you get the chance text or call me, this is important. Nate,” Maci read aloud. I shook my head. Meeting him would only bring up the feelings I was trying to suppress. “This guy freaking loves you.”