Sweet Ruin

by Nazarea Andrews

  She turns, and her eyes widen as she freezes. I have a few seconds to decide what to do, and then I walk across the lobby to stand in front of her.

  “Run with me?”

  She looks nervous, and grateful. But she doesn’t say anything—just licks her lips nervously and nods.

  I lead us outside, and she points at the loop I had noticed. We walk toward it and stop, stretching silently. After about five minutes, I straighten and bounce on my toes. Megan flashes a look in my direction, and then she breaks into a smooth, even jog down the pavement.

  We don’t talk. I let her set the pace, and it’s good, the cool morning air brisk in my nose and the city coming to life around me. The sound of our feet and the rasp of her breath. The delicious ache in my legs that I’ve missed.

  It’s exactly what I need—and her lush ass is the perfect scenery.

  We make two silent loops before she slows the pace, and I know she’s ready to talk.

  “You didn’t come to my room,” she pants.

  “No. Luca needs some time, lovely. Needs to process what you said and what it means for us.”

  “That isn’t fair.”

  I shrug, my breath settling. This pace isn’t punishing, and I’m able to talk almost without effort. “Neither is denying anything happened, without giving us a chance to talk about it. That was harsh—you have to admit that.”

  “Maybe it was wrong. But we hadn’t discussed, and it came out of nowhere. He’s my brother-in-law, Asher. What was I supposed to tell him?”

  “He wasn’t judging you. That’s what you’re afraid of, and there was nothing there. Denying us like that—Luca can’t handle it. He had to go through it when Dylan died, and I won’t be part of doing it to him again.”

  She stops, so abruptly she has to hurt herself, and it takes me a few steps to realize she’s no longer at my side.

  “What do you mean by that?” she says, her voice just a tiny bit shrill and uncertain.

  I tell her, briefly. None of the gory details, but enough to tell her how serious this is.

  “He needs commitment. You think we have a lot to lose, Megs, and we do. I know that. But Luca had already lost so much, and he chose us to rebuild with. I can’t betray that kind of trust,” I say tiredly.

  “I…I didn’t know. He’s never said anything.”

  “Why would he?” I ask, not cruelly. “It’s tied to Dylan, and he doesn’t talk about that.”

  She blinks hard. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

  I nod. "Yeah, sweetheart. You did."

  She flinches. I grab her, pulling her into a hug despite the sweat covering us.

  "It's fixable, Megs. We are fixable. He wants this, and I want this."

  As I say it, I realize how true it is. I want this—with all the broken, fucked-up, messy pieces that it brings. I want her, all steel and silk and insecurities, and him, with his demons and laughter and cocky assurance that this is right.

  I want it all.

  "I want my career, Ash. And if I'm with you both, I'll be a laughing stock. I need to prove I'm more than that—that I can be more than my sister."

  My gaze narrows. There she is again—that sister that keeps popping up. The one Atti married and divorced; the one who visits Megan, but I haven't met. Who is this girl, and why does she have such a hold on Megan?

  "You would throw away what we have—what we could be, to prove something to this sister?" I ask, not sure I honestly understand her.

  But she bites her lip and nods, and my stomach drops.

  Without letting myself think, I shove my fingers into her hair, pulling her ponytail out and letting red silk spill over my hand as I drag her close, closing the distance with my lips.

  She's stiff for less than a heartbeat, and then she melts against me, her arms coming up to wrap around my neck and tug me closer. I nip at her lip, and she gasps, opening for me. I take the invitation, slipping past her lips to tangle with her tongue, stroking it with a slow slide as my hand slips down to cup her hip, drawing her into me. I know she can feel my erection, but I thrust into her. She rewards me with a moan, grinding into me. I want to scoop her up and take her back to Luca. Want to worship her body and imprint myself so deeply, there is no way to separate herself from us.

  But that won't work. So I slowly release her, soften my kiss until its chaste and she's breathing almost normal, leaning against me. She's almost calm.

  I let her go and step back.

  "I want to meet her."

  Megan's eyes go wide, and her mouth opens, already forming the denial. I step into her, catching her shoulders and ducking to stare into her eyes. "This isn't just you, Megan. This is three of us. If you will throw us away because of this girl, we at least deserve the chance to see what we're up against. We deserve the chance to fight for us."

  Her eyes well with tears, and she shakes her head. "It will change things, Ash. Nik always changes things. It's not a good idea."

  I nod. "Then don't come back to us. Don't do that to me and Luca."

  It's a gauntlet, and I can't breathe while I watch her process the words and my meaning, her eyes going wide and hurt.

  I see when she relents, the way her shoulders slump, and she nods. She looks impossibly broken.

  "Ok. I'm meeting her for lunch."

  I nod and take her hand. “Then let’s get Luca up.”

  Luca

  I wake up when he steps into the room. I’ve been hovering for some time on that edge between sleep and wakefulness, and the noise of him walking into the room, even quietly, pushes me firmly into the land of wakefulness.

  “Where have you been?” I ask, blinking sleepily.

  Asher drops down next to me on the bed. “I got you coffee.”

  I push up on my elbows, staring at him with a brow lifted. “What are you trying to talk me into, Knox?”

  “Lunch,” he answers promptly. “With Megan and her sister.”

  I shake my head. “Not yet.”

  “Yes. Yet. Look, you want her? You’re going to have to fight for her a little—show her that you’re serious.”

  “I followed her halfway across the fucking country!”

  “This sister is the problem, man. She’s a complete mess when it comes to her—she almost fell apart when she was talking about her this morning.”

  I sit up abruptly, and Asher curses as the coffee splashes his chest.

  Mmm. Bare chest.

  Wait. “You saw her this morning?”

  He sighs and puts the coffee down. Retreats to the bathroom where he turns on the shower. “Yeah. She was going for a run, so we ran together. I know you’re pissed, man. So am I. But if we want to make this work, we have to actually communicate with her—tell her why we’re pissed and figure out how to make this work long term. We know she has hang ups—this sister is one of them. So let’s show her why it’s an obstacle we can overcome.”

  He’s using we—talking about us like it’s a given, a known and accepted fact of life. That’s different. I crawl out of bed and stand in the doorway of the bathroom. The shower billows steam out, framing him as he shaves quickly. On his neck, there is a red mark—my teeth made it.

  “You want to fight for us,” I say.

  Asher lowers the razor and smirks at me. “Idiot. Of course I do. You’re the only thing I’ve got to distract the screaming girls.”

  He winks and I laugh. “Fine. You win. We’ll go have lunch with Megan and her sister.”

  Asher finishes shaving then comes to me. His skin is soft and smooth, and I can’t help but catch his jaw as he dips in for a kiss. “Get ready to go, English,” I murmur, stepping back. “We have to go convince the woman we love that she’s being an idiot.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Megan

  Asher promised to bring Luca, but I didn’t realize how doubtful I was until the elevator doors glide open and there they both stand. I tremble a little as Luca eyes me, face blank behind his sunglasses. Asher gives me an encouraging smile, and
I step in, the door shutting and closing all the awkward tension into the area around us.

  Luca isn’t talking, staring doggedly at his feet. Asher shifts, drawing my attention, and nods briefly at Luca.

  I flush, but murmur what I should have said yesterday. “I’m sorry.”

  He looks up, and I meet his eyes over the rim of his sunglasses. He looks tired, like he didn’t sleep, worried. Everything that makes me want to reach up and soothe away his worry lines, and I can’t. Because he might acknowledge me, but there is still an ocean of distance between us.

  The elevator stops, and the doors open. Asher lets out the breath it feels like all of us are holding, and Luca steps past me.

  But his fingers brush mine as he does, and it’s enough to make me think I can maybe fix this mess.

  Some things, you spend your entire life trying to change. The way you are perceived, and the places that you come from. The acceptance—or lack of it—from family. Things that can be changed, if you work hard enough, for long enough.

  Some things, like Maggie’s, can’t be.

  It smells exactly like it did when I first came here, as a little girl, bright eyed and confused by the Deep South. The scent of creole and gumbo, cornbread and fried chicken fills the air. I slide a quick glance at the boys as they take in the ratty wooden tables and cheap plastic chairs.

  The place has rolls of paper towels on the tables, for crying out loud.

  I don’t pause at the hostess stand—LouAnn has known me since I was tiny, and she knows my sister. Instead, I bypass the empty lectern and lead the boys to a back booth.

  Nikki Beauchamp is sitting on one side, wearing a sweater dress, her blonde hair pulled over one shoulder. Because I know my sister, I know that there are black tights and hooker boots to match the silver sweater.

  I hear the boys inhale at the sight of her, and my heart drops a little.

  “Hey, Nik. Sorry I’m late. They wanted to come with me.”

  Nikki looks up from her phone, and I see the shock, there for a perfect moment, and then gone, so quickly I wonder if the boys even noticed.

  “Meggy. Sweetheart, you have to introduce your friends.”

  I bristle. “Clients, Nik. This is Luca James, and I’m sure you recognize Asher Knox. Two clients I’m working with—and yes, dear friends.”

  Luca gives me a quick searching look, and Nik smiles, all sex and seduction. Of course, she would be. “Come sit by me,” she almost purrs.

  I grit my teeth, choking on my protest. Luca gives her a slow smile, one I would know anywhere—the one he uses when he and Sun seduce girls in the clubs.

  “I’d love to.”

  I make a tiny noise, something Nik doesn’t even notice, and Luca’s eyes dart to me, a little bit mocking.

  I force myself to slide in across from my sister, and Asher drops next to me, his leg pressed against mine, warm and comforting.

  Nik, not surprisingly, is ignoring me. All of her attention is focused on Luca. “I think I’ve heard of you,” she says, softly, leaning into him.

  Asher laughs, softly, but not so softly that Nik misses it. She shoots a dark look at him, and I sigh. “He’s a male model, Nik. No one has heard of him, and everyone is intimately aware of his abs.”

  “And the v,” Asher adds, straight faced. I giggle. Nik’s face twists in annoyance.

  “So what are you doing here?” she demands, abandoning seduction for the moment. Our waitress arrives, and I wait as she takes our drink orders. Nik is watching me, and I duck behind my menu—a menu I’ve had memorized since I was fourteen and worked here for a summer.

  “What’s good?” Asher asks. I glance at him and then Luca.

  “I’ll order for us,” I say, dropping the menu back onto the table. Luca’s lips twitch, but neither argues with me. Nik is staring at me, a half smile on her lips. It pisses me off. I know that look.

  It says I’m nothing. I barely register to her. My lips thin, and I turn away from her to focus on the waitress as she returns with our drinks.

  Nik orders a salad with chicken breast. Her mouth forms a small o of surprise when I order two plates of fried chicken, a large bowl of gumbo, a dish of red beans and rice, and dirty shrimp and grits.

  “All of this on the same check?” the waitress asks.

  I shake my head. “No. The boys are with me.”

  Asher laughs, and the waitress gives him an indulgent smile as she walks away. He slides an arm around my waist, tugging me against him as we lean back in the booth.

  “So. You’re done with Hollywood, then?” Nik says, and she sounds almost normal.

  “No. We’re only here for a few weeks—the boys have a film, I told you that.”

  “And you’re going back with them.”

  “I’m going back to my career and my life there, yes.”

  She gives me an annoyed look. “I still don’t understand what the whole point of this is, Meggy. Daddy would give you a job, if you want to work.”

  “I don’t want the job you decided you were too good for,” I say softly. “I don’t want to stay in a city where I’ll never be more than your sister.”

  She flinches. Have I ever put it out there like that?

  “I didn’t realize you hated me so much,” Nik says stiffly.

  “We should go,” Luca says, the first thing he’s said since we sat down.

  “Please don’t,” I say. This needs to be said—it’s been needed for years, and I’ve been too afraid of saying it. I look at my sister, with her classic beauty and injured dignity and the smiles men can’t seem to resist. “Nik, I don’t hate you—I never did. It’s hard, though. Being your half-sister, in a town like Branton? Everyone knew you. Everyone loved you. You have no idea what that’s like, to live in a constant shadow. To be compared, every time you do something, to the sister you’ll never live up to. It’s exhausting. I went halfway across the country to try and get away from that shadow.”

  “I wasn’t even in Branton when you were in college.”

  “Do you think that matters?” I demand. “This city remembers everything.”

  “So you decided that you should hook up with two men as an attempt to be different from me?” she says, her tone scornful.

  I laugh. “Well, it’s not that different, given how Atti caught you.”

  She pales and whispers, “You bitch.”

  My phone vibrates, and I glance at it before dropping it onto the table. “Maybe. Maybe I am. But I’m also done. I’ve spent years trying to earn your approval and to show this city that I’m not you, and I’m over it. I have a life—one I love—and a job that I’m good at, and I don’t need anyone’s approval for that. I have Luca and Asher. I don’t need anything else.”

  “You mean, you don’t need me,” she says, her voice sharp. “Because we both know you need Uncle Kevin. Without him, you wouldn’t have access to such pretty”—she eyes Asher, and I stiffen, furious—“clients.”

  “Back off, Nik,” I say softly. “They’re mine.”

  She smirks, and I shake my head. “This one likes me. Take the time traveler. I like models.”

  “Are you serious?” I demand. “He’s a person, Nikki! They both are.”

  “And we’re a package, love,” Asher says.

  “Boys, can y’all give me a minute?” I say abruptly.

  Luca and Asher hesitate, and then Knox nods and stands. “Come on, Luc. We’ll get lunch to go.”

  I wait for them to walk away, and I look at my sister. I used to want so much, when I looked at her—acceptance and pride. Hell, I’d have been happy with recognition. She’s staring at me with that infuriating mix of cool superiority. I laugh, softly. “I’ll never be good enough for you. I will never be more than a crying kid Daddy brought home that you didn’t want to deal with.”

  Her eyes widen, and then she shrugs. “It is what it is, Meggy. I don’t know why you fight it.”

  “Because I wanted you to love me,” I say and give her a twisted smile. “St
upid, right? I want your approval, and I want to show you that I can be more than that little girl. That’s why I left home—because I couldn’t while I was here. And I—” I cut off abruptly, a thought hitting me suddenly.

  “What?” she demands.

  “I don’t want to be you.” I whisper. “Or Kevin.”

  Nik frowns, but I don’t bother to explain myself. How can I? Instead, I scramble out of the booth and hurry toward the front of the restaurant, where Asher and Luca are waiting for me.

  I run into Luca’s arms, and he closes them around me, catching me to him without an ounce of hesitation. This—this is what home feels like. His arms around me, and Asher’s presence only a few inches away, the scent of laundry and shampoo and Lacoste in my nose. A scent I will always associate with Luca and his easy smiles and long days in the back of a car, traveling across the country.

  “I’m sorry,” I choke out, and he shudders, his grip on me tightening for a second. He kisses my hair and loosens his grip enough that I can take a step back, just a short one. “I’m sorry—I want this. I know we have to talk, figure out how it will work, but—I don’t want to throw us away.” I take a deep breath. “I’m going to quit the agency.”

  Both of them freeze, and I see shock in their eyes. “Megan. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

  I nod. “I’ll tell you when we get home. Come on.”

  Asher pushes open the door, and I start to follow them. “Meggy!”

  I hesitate at my sister’s call. She walks up, and even now, she’s sleek elegance and unhurried grace. “You left your phone,” she says simply.

  She looks past me, to where Asher and Luca are. And then she smiles at me. “I hope you are happy, Megan. I really do.”

  Then she turns and walks away, and for the first time in I don’t know how long, being dismissed by my sister doesn’t sting.