Weird Tales volume 28 number 03

by Wright, Farnsworth, 1888–1940

  "I shall be punctual," the student said, briefly; and so the two parted.

  The professor did not exaggerate when he spoke of the widespread interest excited by his novel psychophysiological experiment. Long before the hour had arrived the room was filled with a galaxy of talent. Besides the celebrities whom he had mentioned, there had come from London the great Professor Lurcher, who had just established his reputation by a remarkable treatise upon cerebral centers. Several great lights of the Spiritualistic body had also come a long distance to be present, as had a Swedenborgian minister, who considered that the proceedings might throw some light upon the doctrines of the Rosy Cross.

  There was considerable applause from this eminent assembly upon the appearance of Professor von Baumgarten and his subject upon the platform. The lecturer, in a few well-chosen words, explained what his views were, and how he proposed to test them.

  "I hold," he said, "that when a person is under the influence of mesmerism, his spirit is for the time released from his body, and I challenge anyone to put forward any other hypothesis which will account for the fact of clairvoyance. I therefore hope that upon mesmerizing my young friend here, and then putting myself into a trance, our spirits may be able to commune together, though our

  WEIRD TALES

  bodies lie still and inert. After a time nature will resume her sway, our spirits will return into our respective bodies, and all will be as before. With your kind permission, we shall now proceed to attempt the experiment."

  The applause was renewed at this speech, and the audience settled down in expectant silence. With a few rapid passes the professor mesmerized the young man, who sank back in his chair, pale and rigid. He then took a bright globe of glass from his pocket, and by concentrating his gaze upon it and making a strong mental effort, he succeeded in throwing himself into the same condition. It was a strange and impressive sight to see the old man and the young sitting together in the same cataleptic state. Whither, then, had their souls fled? That was the question which presented itself to each and every one of the spectators.

  Five minutes passed, and then ten, and then fifteen, and then fifteen more, while the professor and his pupil sat stiff and stark upon the platform. During that time not a sound was heard from the assembled savants, but every eye was bent upon the two pale faces, in search of the first signs of returning consciousness.

  Nearly an hour had elapsed before the patient watchers were rewarded. A faint flush came back to the cheeks of Professor von Baumgarten. The soul was coming back once more to its earthly tenement. Suddenly he stretched out his long thin arms, as one awaking from sleep, and rubbing his eyes, stood up from his chair and gazed about him as though he hardly realized where he was.

  "Tausend Teufel. 1 " he exclaimed, rapping out a tremendous South German oath, to the great astonishment of his audience and to the disgust of the Swe-denborgian. "Where the Henher am I then, and what in thunder has occurred?

  Oh, yes, I remember now. One of these nonsensical mesmeric experiments. There is no result this time, for I remember nothing at all since I became unconscious; so you have had all your long journeys for nothing, my learned friends, and a very good joke, too;" at which the regius professor of physiology burst into a roar of laughter and slapped his thigh in a highly indecorous fashion.

  The audience were so enraged at this unseemly behavior on the part of their host, that there might have been * considerable disturbance, had it not been for the judicious interference of young Fritz von Hartmann, who had now recovered from his lethargy. Stepping to the front of the platform, the young man apologized for the conduct of his companion.

  "I am sorry to say," he said, "that he is a harum-scarum sort of fellow, although he appeared so grave at the commencement of this experiment. He is still suffering from mesmeric reaction, and is hardly accountable for his words. As to the experiment itself, I do not consider it to be a failure. It is very possible that our spirits may have been communing in space during this hour; but, unfortunately, our gross bodily memory is distinct from our spirit, and we cannot recall what has occurred. My energies shall now be devoted to devising some means by which spirits may be able to recollect what occurs to them in their free state, and I trust that when I have worked this out, I may have the pleasure of meeting you all once again in this hall, and demonstrating to you the result."

  This address, coming from so young a student, caused considerable astonishment among the audience, and some were in-dined to be offended, thinking that he assumed rather too much importance. The majority, however, looked upon him as a young man of great promise, and many comparisons were made a* they; left

  THE GREAT KEINPLATZ EXPERIMENT

  371

  the hall between his dignified conduct and the levity of his professor, who during the above remarks was laughing heartily in a corner, by no means abashed at the failure of the experiment.

  Now although all these learned men were filing out of the lecture-room under the impression, that they had seen nothing of note, as a matter of fact one of the most wonderful things in the whole history of the world had just occurred before their very eyes. Professor von Baumgar-ten had been so far correct in his theory that both his spirit and that of his pupil had been for a time absent from his body. But here a strange and unforeseen complication had occurred. In their return the spirit of Fritz von Hartmann had entered into the body of Alexis von Baum-garten, and that of Alexis von Baumgar-ren had taken up its abode in the frame of Fritz von Hartmann. Hence the slang and scurrility which issued from the lips of the serious professor, and hence also the weighty words and grave statements which felt from the careless student. It was as unprecedented event, yet no one knew of it, least of all those whom it concerned.

  THE body of the professor, feeling conscious suddenly of a great dryness about the back of the throat, sallied out into the street, still chuckling to himself over the result of tie experiment, for the soul of Fritz within was reckless at the thought of the bride whom he had won so easily. His first impulse was to go up to the house and see her, but on second thoughts he came to the conclusion that it would be best to stay until Madam Baumgarten should be informed by her husband of the agreement which had been made. He therefore made his way down to the Griiner Mann, which was one of the favorite trysting-places of the wilder students, and ran, boisterously

  waving his cane in the air, into the little parlor, where sat Spiegler and Muller, and half a dozen other boon companions.

  "Ha, ha! my boys," he shouted. "I knew I should find you here. Drink up, every one of you, and call for what you like; I'm going to stand treat today."

  Had the green man who is depicted upon the sign-post of that well-known inn suddenly marched into the room and called for a bottle of wine, the students could not have been more amazed than they were by this unexpected entry of their revered professor. They were so astonished that for a minute or two they glared at him in utter bewilderment without being able to make any reply to his hearty invitation.

  "Dormer und Blitzen!" shouted the professor, angrily. "What the deuce is the matter with you, then? You sit there like a set of stuck pigs staring at me. What is it, then?"

  "It is the unexpected honor," stammered Spiegel, who was in the chair.

  "Honor—rubbish!" said the professor, testily. "Do you think that just because I happen to have been exhibiting mesmerism to a parcel of old fossils, I am therefore too proud to associate with dear old friends like you? Come out of that chair, Spiegel, my boy, for I shall preside now. Beer, or wine, or schnapps, my lads —call for what you like, and put it all down to me."

  Never was there such an afternoon in the Griiner Mann. The foaming flagons of lager and the green-necked bottle of Rhenish circulated merrily. By degrees the students lost their shyness in the presence of their professor. As for him, he shouted, he sang, he roared, he balanced a long tobacco-pipe upon his nose, and offered to run a hundred yards against any member of the company. The kellner and the bar-maid whispere
d to each other outside the door their astonishment at

  WEIRD TALES

  such proceedings on the part of a regius professor of the ancient university of Keinplatz. They had still more to whisper about afterward, for the learned man cracked the kellner's crown, and kissed the bar-maid behind the kitchen door.

  "Gentlemen," said the professor, standing up, albeit somewhat totteringly, at the end of the table, and balancing his high, old-fashioned wine-glass in his bony hand, "I must now explain to you what is the cause of this festivity."

  "Hear! hear!" roared the students, hammering their beer-glasses against the table; "a speech, a speech—silence for a speech!"

  "The fact is, my friends," said the professor, beaming through his spectacles, "I hope very soon to be married."

  "Married?" cried a student, bolder than the others. "Is Madam dead, then?"

  "Madam who?"

  "Why, Madam von Baumgarten, of course."

  "Ha, ha!" laughed the professor; "I can see, then, that you know all about my former difficulties. No, she is not dead, but I have reason to believe that she will not oppose my marriage."

  "That is very accommodating of her," remarked one of the company.

  "In fact," said the professor, "I hope that she will now be induced to aid me in getting a wife. She and I never took to each other very much; but now I hope all that may be ended, and when I marry she will come and stay with me."

  "What a happy family!" exclaimed some wag.

  "Yes, indeed; and I hope you will come to my wedding, all of you. I won't mention names, but here is to my little bride!" and the professor waved his glass in the air.

  "Here's to his little bride!" roared the roysterers, with shouts of laughter. "Here's her health. Sie soil I then —

  hoch!" And so the fun waxed still more fast and furious, while each young fellow followed the professor's example, and drank a toast to the girl of his heart

  WHILE all this festivity had been going on at the Griiner Mann, a very different scene had been enacted elsewhere. Young Fritz von Hartmann, with a solemn face and a reserved manner, had, after the experiment, consulted and adjusted some mathematical instruments; after which, with a few peremptory words to the janitors, he had walked out into the street and wended his way slowly in the direction of the house of the professor. As he walked he saw von Althaus, the professor of anatomy, in front of him, and quickening his pace he overtook him.

  "I say, von Althaus," he exclaimed, tapping him on the sleeve, "you were asking me for some information the other day concerning the middle coat of the cerebral arteries. Now I find "

  "Donnetwetter!" shouted von Althaus, who was a peppery old fellow. "What the deuce do you mean by your impertinence? I'll have you up before the Academical Senate for this, sir;" with which threat he turned on his heel and hurried away.

  Von Hartmann was much surprized at this reception. "Ifs on account *t this failure of my experiment," he said to himself, and continued moodily on his way.

  Fresh surprizes were in store for him, however. He was hurrying along when he was overtaken by two students. Triese youths, instead of raising their caps or showing any other sign of respect, gave a wild whoop of delight the instant that they saw him, and rushing at hint, seized him by each arm and commenced dragging him along with them.

  "Gott in Himmeir roared von Hartmann. "What is the meaning of this un-

  WEIRD TALES

  375

  paralleled insult? Where are yon taking me?"

  "To crack a bottle of wine with us," said the two students. "Come along! That is an invitation which you have never refused/'

  "I never heard of such insolence in my life!" cried von Hartmann, "Let go my arms! I shall certainly have you rusticated for this. Let me go, I say!" and he kicked furiously at his captors.

  "Oh, if you choose to turn ill-tempered, you may go where you like," the students said, releasing him. 'We can do very well without you."

  "I know you! I'll pay you out!" said von Hartmann furiously, and continued in the direction which he imagined to be his own home, much incensed at the two episodes which had occurred to him on the way.

  Now, Madam von Baumgarten, who was looking out of the window and wondering why her husband was late for dinner, was considerably astonished to see the young student come stalking down the road. As already remarked, she had a great antipathy to him, and if ever he ventured into the house it was on sufferance, and under the protection of the professor. Still more astonished was she, therefore, when she beheld him undo the wicket-gate and stride up the garden path with the air of one who is master of the situation. She could hardly believe her eyes, and hastened to the door with all her maternal instincts up in arms. From the upper windows the fair Elise had also observed this daring move upon the part of her lover, and her heart beat quick with mingled pride and consternation.

  "Good-day, sir," Madam Baumgarten remarked to the intruder, as she stood in gloomy majesty in the open doorway.

  "A very fine day indeed, Martha," returned the other. "Now, don't stand there like a statue of Juno, but bustle

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  WEIRD TALES

  about and get the dinner ready, for I am well-nigh starved."

  "Martha! Dinner!" ejaculated the lady, failing back in astonishment

  "Yes, dinner, Martha, dinner!" howled von Hartmann, who was becoming irritable. "Is there anything wonderful in that request when a man has been out all day? Til wait in the dining-room. Anything will do. Schinken, and sausage, and prunes—any little thing that happens to be about. There you are, standing staring again. Woman, will you or will you not stir your legs?"

  This last address, delivered wi
th a perfect shriek of rage, had the effect of sending good Madam Baumgarten flying along the passage and through the kitchen, where she locked herself up in the scullery and went into violent hysterics. In the meantime von Hartmann strode into the room and threw himself down upon the sofa in the worst of tempers.

  "Elise!" he shouted. "Confound the girl! Elise!"

  Thus roughly summoned, the young lady came timidly downstairs and into the presence of her lover.

  "Dearest!" she cried, throwing her arms round him, "I know this is all done for my sake! It is a ruse in order to see me."

  Von Hartmann's indignation at this fresh attack upon him was so great that he became speechless for a minute from rage, aad could only glare and shake his fists, while he struggled in her embrace. When he at last regained his utterance, he ind*lged in such a bellow of passion that the young lady dropped back, petrified with fear, into an armchair.

  "Never have I passed such a day in my life," von Hartmann cried, stamping upon the floor. "My experiment has failed. Von Althaus has insulted me. Two students have dragged me along the public read. My wife nearly faints when

  I ask her for dinner, and my daughter flies at me and hugs me like a grizzly bear."

  "You are ill, dear," the young lady cried. "Your mind is wandering. You have not even kissed me once."

  "No, and I don't intend to, either," von Hartmann said with decision. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Why don't you go and fetch my slippers, and help your mother to dish the dinner?"

  "And is it for this," Elise cried, burying her face in her handkerchief—-"is it for this that I have loved you passionately for upward of ten months? b it for this that I have braved my mother's wrath? Oh, you have broken my heart; I am sure you have!" and she sobbed hysterically.

  "I can't stand much more of this/" roared von Hartmann furiously. "What the deuce does the girl mean? What did I do ten months ago which inspired you with such a particular affection for me? If you are really so very fond, you would do better to run down and find the schinken and some bread, instead of talking all this nonsense."