The Nerdy Necromancer (The Deadicated Matchmaker Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  Portia shook her head. “Not quite. It’s an entrance to my agency.” She hesitated. “But the door is important because my agency doesn’t exist here on this plane.”

  I blinked. “What does that mean?”

  “The door is an entrance to Heaven.”

  Hank and I both let out a choked laugh. “No way,” I said.

  “Your magic is directly in contradiction to mine, Helen. But I still feel like you’re a good choice as Guardian. We will be spending time together very soon to figure out how to move forward.”

  “You’re an angel?” I breathed.

  “Partly,” Portia answered. “I apologize for leaving you with such a cryptic comment, but in the months ahead, you will form friendships that will save Midnight Cove. You and your friends will be powerful and as the rift grows, so will our need for all of you.”

  Portia stood and straightened her black slacks. She reached down and patted Margo/Argos on the head. “I will show myself out. You will receive a packet in the mail soon containing the terms of our agreement. Do not worry about Midnight Cove Realty. That, in fact, is my next stop.”

  With a sprinkle of golden dust, Portia disappeared from my living room.

  “Well,” I said, “if she drove here, that’s going to make her exit kind of awkward.”

  Hank was lost in contemplative silence.

  “Hank?”

  He jerked. “Oh, sorry.” He abruptly stood. “I texted Pepper a few minutes ago. She will be over to stay the night with you.”

  “Oh.” Disappointment leadened my limbs. “Okay. You don’t want to stay?”

  He shook his head. “No. I have some things I have to take care of. I’ll be back on Monday with the crew to start work.”

  Hank cleared off the dishes and did his best to avoid me until Pepper arrived. With a quick goodbye, he grabbed his jacket and was gone.

  Pepper gave me a weird look. “Everything okay?”

  “It hasn’t been okay since that damn agency started meddling in my life.”

  Margo barked twice.

  12

  The next morning I woke up and my foot was screaming in pain. I was so distracted with thoughts of Hank I’d totally forgotten to take my medicine. Pepper was also not a great nurse. She offered me a shot of vodka before bed and handed me my crutches before sitting down and turning Netflix on. I had to admit being carried was way easier than slogging around on crutches like a drunken grandma.

  It had taken me forever to go to sleep and when I finally did, the look on Hank’s face haunted me. But I knew I shouldn’t feel bad. Hank had made it clear from the beginning he wasn’t interested in me, and when he finally did admit it, he was already dating someone else. Even if he hadn’t fully realized it.

  Lucien happened to be in the right place at the right time and even though he had screwed up when he was skulking on my property, he had become someone I knew I could have a strong friendship with or maybe even more.

  When Hank left last night, I think he finally realized that. I wasn’t sure if he was giving up or what his thought process was. But I knew I missed him.

  I groaned as I carefully swung myself out of bed. I took a long swig of water from the glass on my nightstand and popped a pain pill. Thank goodness I remembered to bring them in my room. It would have been so much better had I remembered to take them, though.

  Once I was up and my crutches were under my arm, I slowly hobbled my way out of the room and into the kitchen. Pepper was nowhere to be found. I should have called Lucien to take care of me. At least he would have carried me around the house.

  Making coffee on crutches was a real pain in the ass, and it took me three times as long to get it going. I didn’t remember how long I was supposed to be in this stupid cast, but it was already too long.

  I wouldn’t even be able to do any work until it was off either. At least not in the house. I did all my work outside and I needed both feet to touch the earth to properly ground my energy and control the bindings.

  I was feeling extra grumbly by the time the coffee had finished brewing. I reached up, hissed at the pain in my foot, and grabbed a mug. Margo padded in beside me and sat there looking expectantly at me. “Five sips,” I bargained. She huffed and walked over to her food bowl so she could nose it around and make as much noise as humanly possible.

  After I gave up and fed her, I looked at my mug and then my crutches and knew there was no way I was going to be able to get to the couch without spilling my coffee all over the place. With a disgruntled sigh, I settled myself on one of the stools around my counter and took a sip.

  Pepper stumbled out about ten minutes later asking what all the commotion was. I gestured to Margo, and Pepper glared at the puppy while she went to fix herself some coffee. She settled in across from me. “How’d you sleep?”

  “I forgot to take my pain meds so waking up this morning wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had.”

  Pepper winced. “Sorry.”

  I sipped my coffee. “Lucien is a way better nurse than you are.”

  “What about Hank?”

  “He ran out of here like his tail was on fire yesterday.”

  “Typical man. Try to get them to commit and they leave you in the lurch.”

  That seemed an odd thing to say. I wasn’t aware she was dating anyone. “Are you seeing someone?” I waggled my eyebrows. “I thought we told each other everything, but I’m wondering if you’re hiding a man somewhere.”

  She set her mug down. “No. Not anymore. It was the guy with the mom problem.”

  My eyebrows shot to my hairline. “That was...just a few days ago. You wanted to be committed that fast?”

  Pepper’s laugh was harsh. “No. I’m not crazy. I just wanted him to commit to a date. But his family is anti-paranormal.”

  We both rolled our eyes at the same time. “He lives here of all places and doesn’t want to get involved with a witch because he’s afraid of what his family would say.”

  “How many dates did you go on before he realized it?”

  Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “Three. We were just getting to the fun part when he saw the family tattoo on my back.”

  “Oh, Pepper, I’m so sorry.”

  “You should have seen him. It was like he realized I had some horrible contagious disease.”

  I reached over and took her hand. All of the witches in the city were required to have an identifier, whether it was a tattoo or a chip, something had to be there to denote what House they belonged to. It wasn’t just a Midnight Cove thing, it was a witch thing. Portia might have controlled the city, but she couldn’t control the paranormals and their odd traditions. Humans and other paranormals knew about it, but most couldn’t tell someone was a witch unless their identifier was somewhere that could be seen. Most witches, for good reason, chose to keep their markings concealed by clothing.

  “I don’t think any of us truly realize how big this city is until something like this happens. The amount of humans versus us is insanely low.” I gave her a bright smile. “Now that I’m in with Portia maybe we can nudge her a little bit to throw some good ones your way.”

  A wan smile crossed her face. “Maybe. Right now I don’t want anything to do with men.”

  I convinced Pepper to go out and get us some breakfast. While she was gone, I tried to shower only to realize I was going to need help. But when I opened up the shower curtain, there was a brand new shower seat in there. That was what I needed to be able to do this myself.

  Hank.

  Sadness filled my heart. I was going to let him have until Monday and then I was going to pin him down. I wanted to know where he stood. I wanted to know where we stood.

  I made my way to the couch and settled in for what was likely to be the day. I had my calendar and my cell phone. I had a lot of work to shift around.

  By the time Pepper had arrived loaded down with enough food bags to feed a fraternity, I’d moved all of my appointments back by two weeks. Most were complet
ely understanding, but others, weren’t quite as kind especially since I’d already rescheduled once before. I lost some clients but the tiny little petty person inside of me who came out to play every once in awhile knew there was only one necromancer in this town.

  It just happened to be me. If they were interested in speaking with their loved ones, I was their only choice, other than the charlatans running a seance shop down the road. The paranormals hated those humans, but they were tolerated because they brought in some tourist bucks. I didn’t advertise my services. Everything was word of mouth. I was happier that way because it toned down the amount of complete strangers traipsing through my home.

  But...maybe that judge was right. Maybe I could do some good things if I got a shop in town.

  “Pancakes!” Pepper shouted and pulled them out of the bag as she shrieked like a pterodactyl.

  I snickered. “BRING THEM TO ME!”

  “Butter?” she asked.

  “Bite your tongue. Yes to all the things.” I trusted her to make them even though it pained me a little bit that the butter wouldn’t be perfectly spread to the ends of my pancakes. Pepper was more of a slap it on and let it go kind of pancake fixer. Sure enough, when she brought it over, there was a pat of butter on the top and haphazard syrup pouring. I took the plate and the fork she offered and attempted to make some sense of the mess on my plate.

  Pepper came over a minute later, saw what I was doing and let out a huff of laughter. “It all goes down the same way, Hel.”

  “But I want every single bit to have the taste of butter and syrup.”

  “Weirdo,” she said, with her mouth full.

  “Pancake perfectionist,” I corrected her.

  We spent the rest of the day do absolutely nothing but eating and idly flipping through Netflix shows. When we finally reached Being Human, Pepper and I settled in for the long haul, but I did remember to take my pain meds before I finally went to bed for the night.

  Monday morning came in with a bang. A literal one. I shot up to a sitting position and let out a little yelp of pain. It took me way too long to gather my crutches and peer out my bedroom window to see what the hell was going on.

  There were vehicles. Everywhere. I squinted. There was also a dump truck.

  “The hell?” I muttered. I lurched out of the room as best I could. My foot was killing me, but I would worry about that later. Right now I felt like there was an invasion on my property. I fought with the door unable to fling it open dramatically like I wanted because of my stupid crutches.

  When I finally got it open, Hank was standing there with his hand poised to knock. When he saw me, he blinked, and slowly lowered his hand.

  My heartbeat picked up. “It’s Monday,” I said dumbly.

  “Yes. Everything okay?”

  I let out a deep breath. “Why are all of these vehicles here?”

  He stared at me like I was dumb. “We’re working on your property. I can’t do all of this myself.”

  “You need all of these people?”

  Hank laughed, but he sounded more annoyed than anything. “Yes, Helen. Otherwise this project would take months.”

  “But they’re so loud.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “The trucks will be here two days. After that it will just be me and a handful of my guys.”

  “Oh. Do you want some coffee?” He looked handsome this morning, and he smelled like sunshine and clean laundry.

  “No, thanks. I’m actually here for the check. You forgot to leave it in the mailbox.”

  I blinked. “Umm. Okay,” I said, slowly trying to maneuver my crutches so I could get over to my purse, but I was too slow to keep the look of disappointment from showing on my face.

  Hank stood in the doorway, filling it up with his presence, but my heart felt his loss acutely. So this was where we were now. All because of what Portia said. It seemed dumb. One small comment to ruin our potential. Maybe that meant we weren’t meant to be together after all.

  Hank stepped in and shut the door behind him. “Is Pepper here?”

  I shook my head. “She left last night when she finally felt comfortable that I wouldn’t fall over on my crutches.”

  Hank took a few steps closer to me. “You look better.”

  I chanced a glance at him. He was staring at my strangely. “Taking my pain meds in a timely manner does wonders for my mood.” I signed the check and handed it over to him. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”

  Hank took the check from my outstretched fingers and sat it on the table next to us. “Are you dating Lucien?”

  I swallowed hard. “No. Should I?”

  Hank looked like he swallowed a frog.

  “I mean I’m not sure what to do here, Hank. We didn’t exactly get off on the right foot. Then there was Charity. Then Lucien.” I ran a hand through my hair. “And then you run out of here like you never wanted to see me again. I am confused. And annoyed.” I sniffed. “And my foot hurts like a bitch.”

  He took another step, put his arm around my waist and gently removed one crutch from under my arm, then the other. I was forced to hold on to him for balance. “I can’t do this anymore,” I told him. “I’m very confused and overwhelmed. I’m not even sure I’m going to have a job in a couple of weeks and then I found out that I’m guardian to some weird ass door -”

  “Helen.”

  “And then you’re here and being all weird and now you’re touching me and I’m confused all over again. Like, which is it? Am I hideous or do you like me or are you just confused and leading me on -”

  “Helen!”

  “What!”

  “Shut up and kiss me.”

  “Why? Is this a goodbye kiss or is this a thank you for the five grand check I just wrote you?”

  Hank let out an exasperated sigh, tugged me closer to him and claimed my lips in a fiery kiss.

  I moaned against his mouth, trying to ignore the pain in my foot. A moment later Hank swept me up in his arms and marched me into the bedroom. He stopped there, looked at me, and one of his eyebrows rose in question.

  “This had better not be a joke. You couldn’t possibly be that cruel,” I said.

  Hank kicked in my bedroom door, taking it clear off the wall.

  “Oh my,” I murmured.

  Hank gently laid me on the bed. I stared up at him as he looked down at me. His caramel eyes were dark with heat and he stared at me like he wanted to devour me.

  I hoped he wanted to devour me.

  Devouring was fun.

  He tugged his t-shirt over his head.

  My mouth went dry.

  “This had better not be a joke,” I whispered again.

  Hank’s hands went to his belt.

  13

  Just as a warning to those people who might want to engage in coitus in the future while wearing an enormous cast, be prepared for some awkward moments. Like where do I put my leg? Or, how is that position even supposed to work when I could barely lift my leg up?

  However...if you have the right gardener, none of that matters.

  Hank and I lay in the middle of the bed, the shattered remains of the door completely forgotten.

  My head was on his chest and I listened to the slowly declining beat of his heart. A few minutes ago, it was way faster.

  “I’m glad to know you weren’t kidding,” I mumbled against his chest.

  His rumbling laughter was his answer. “I wasn’t sure what to expect when I came.”

  “I can say with complete honesty that I did not expect to get involved with hanky panky seconds after opening the door.”

  His fingers toyed with my hair. “I like you, Helen.”

  I snorted. “Let’s hope so.”

  “No. I mean I more than like you.”

  I tilted my chin up to look at him. “It doesn’t matter than I’m blonde?”

  Hank’s teeth flashed white in the dim light of my bedroom. “I should have never said that.”

  “What’s
next?”

  “Well, the next time Lucien comes over I want you to show him the love bite I left on your neck so he knows you’re claimed.”

  “You gave me a hickey?” I squawked in mock outrage.

  “More than one,” he said with glee. “But only one that’s visible.”

  “I shall repay that favor in spades,” I announced. “Once I can walk properly.”

  “That cast isn’t a bad thing,” Hank said. “It means you can’t run away from me. And I can have you at my mercy.”

  “That sounds lovely.” The booming sounds outside had quieted down. “Did everyone leave?”

  “I told my guys if I was in here for more than fifteen minutes they were excused for the day.”

  Heat bloomed in my cheeks. “Hank!”

  “What can I say? I was hopeful.”

  I smacked him on his chest but I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are we going to lie here all day?”

  Hank let out a long sigh. “I need to get outside and start drawing out your beds. I can’t do too much today, but tomorrow everyone will be back.”

  “And tomorrow I won’t go outside.”

  He kissed the top of my head, making his abs contract in a delightful manner. “Need help up?”

  I nodded. “And getting dressed. Aren’t you so excited to land a catch like me?”

  He pulled me closer. “A cast is temporary. We are more than that.”

  I breathed in the warm scent of him. “I like you, Hank. A lot.”

  “Ditto. Now let’s help you up, lazybones.”

  I laughed against his chest. “Good, because I can’t really get up.”

  14

  Six weeks later

  Hank’s redo of my landscaping took a lot longer than he had expected, simply because I kept adding things to the design. Even though his contract said two months, he told me later he only expected it to take three weeks. He was patient with me and worked with me to make sure my land was both beautiful and sustainable. Today was the big reveal, and even though I had seen most of what he’d done, I hadn’t seen all of it. He’d been adamant about me not going to the back. It made it difficult to take care of Margo, but Hank had practically moved in since that day he’d started the work on my landscaping.