The Full Experience

by Dawn Doyle

Raven and Beck climbed into her double bed, and crawled under the huge white quilted duvet.

  “I have something of yours,” she said, getting back up, and walking over to her closet.

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t let it go.”

  Raven had held onto the last thing she had of Beck. She’d tried to throw it away, but when the time came she couldn’t do it. Nobody was allowed to do it for her either. She’d said that if she was ready to give it up, then she should be able to do it herself.

  “Ray, come on,” Ava said as Raven sobbed for the third time that day. “If you want to get past this, let it go.”

  “I can’t,” she cried. “It’s all I have left.”

  It didn’t matter that Beck had left her and broken her heart; it was the only thing she had of him that she could hold on to. She knew it wasn’t healthy, but right then she didn’t care.

  “Honey, throwing it away will give you closure,” her mom said, rubbing her back.

  “It won’t. I’ll only get closure when I know why he left.”

  “Do you want one of us to get rid of it for you?” Ava asked.

  “No!” Raven snapped. “I don’t want anybody to touch it.” She held it to her chest one more time and walked over to her closet. “It’s going to stay in here until I’m ready to give it up.”

  “Ok, Ray,” Ava said soothingly.

  “Whatever you need, sweetie,” her mom added.

  She didn’t know why she did it to herself. Every couple of days she went into her closet and opened the box, looking through the contents. The tears would begin, and Raven would feel deserted all over again.

  They hadn’t even been together that long, but what she felt was real enough to hurt as much as though they had. Raven had chastised herself enough times for holding onto the past, but she didn’t know whether she would be the same again. It had taken a while, but she’d managed to go longer without looking.

  Even moving out of her parent’s house three months later, Raven still couldn’t bring herself to throw it away. It remained in her new closet, untouched for the last few weeks; finally.

  Raven went to her closet, that was on the other side of the collage, and opened the bottom cabinet. She pulled out the box that sat in there. Holding it to her chest she walked over to the bed and sat next to Beck.

  “Here,” she said, handing it to him.

  She was a little nervous about showing what she had kept for all that time, especially when she saw the recognition on his face.

  Beck slowly opened the lid, seemingly just as nervous as she. A smile spread across his face and Raven released the breath she was holding.

  The item on the top was his T-shirt. The same one that Raven had gone back to her dorm in when he’d torn Ava’s dress from her body. She’d given back his sweats, but kept the shirt.

  His smile widened when he saw the next item.

  “You stole my slippers,” she said, pointing at him and narrowing her eyes. Her lips pursed as she held back her smile.

  “I did,” Beck chuckled. “You looked so goddam gorgeous wearing your morning after outfit.” He licked his lips. “I couldn’t help myself. I took them when you were all bouncing about. Then when Donnie texted me that you were leaving, I watched you walk barefoot to your dorm.”

  Raven’s heart thudded as Beck’s eyes looked her up and down. He was remembering exactly how she looked that night, and glancing down at his towel, she could see the effects of that too.

  “What happened to the others’ pairs?”

  “I dumped the others. It looked too obvious if I left theirs behind.”

  She had to give it to him; he’d covered his tracks.

  Beck looked back inside again and pulled out the photograph of their first day, and his eyes lit up.

  “My first ever picture of you. I took it with the old Blackberry I had back then, after you told me to go fuck myself,” he laughed.

  He pulled out the card from the flowers her dad had sent to her -that he’d written on- and smiled mischievously.

  Then, he picked up the last thing from the box.

  “My phone,” he said, his voice was so quiet he almost mouthed the words. “You kept it.”

  “I did.” Raven nodded, as Beck held the iPhone he’d left behind.

  “Did you erase anything?” he asked, a worried look on his face.

  “No. As soon as Donnie got your dad’s number, I switched it off. I thought you would’ve deleted it through the cloud.”

  “No. I don’t know why, but I never backed it up, and I’d never switched on the find my phone feature. I lost everything when I dropped it. I just transferred my contract to my new phone.” Beck tried the power button, but it didn’t switch on.

  “It was in the doorway of your closet,” she said, remembering the unusual place to find a phone.

  Raven took it out of Beck’s hands and placed in on the charging dock on her nightstand.

  “Thank you,” Beck whispered, pulling her close to his bare chest. “For keeping everything.”

  “You’re welcome,” she replied against his warm skin. “I’m just glad I could give it back.”

  Beck put the items back in the box and placed it on the other nightstand. He turned, cupped Raven’s face and gently pressed his lips to hers.

  “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

  “I love you so much.”

  Beck kissed her once more, then pulled her into him in a loving embrace. Raven tangled her legs with his and took a deep breath against the skin on his chest, sighing contentedly.

  *****

  Raven woke up to an empty bed, and her heart leaped into her throat until she heard male laughter coming from outside the door.

  Getting out of bed, she opened the bedroom door a fraction, and peered out towards the kitchen area. Beck and Donnie were chatting as though it was a normal day.

  Raven smiled when she saw what they were doing. They were cooking breakfast.

  Going to her bathroom she quickly showered, and dressed into her black leggings and long V-neck red and white striped tee, before leaving her room.

  “Good morning sunshine,” Ava whispered as she opened her own bedroom door. A wide smile on her face.

  She had regularly stayed over, Donnie with her, for a few days of their semester breaks -before visiting their own families- and had their own room there. Raven was always glad to see her best friend, and she was also glad to be able to provide some privacy for them whilst they were looking for their own place.

  “Good morning,” Raven whispered in reply.

  The girls exited their rooms and walked through the living room to the kitchen.

  “I see you had a good night last night.” Ava winked then looked pointedly to the folded up clothes on the sofa.

  Raven’s face flamed. Ava and Donnie had not only seen the clothes scattered, but had tidied up after them.

  “You could say that.”

  Beck turned, and Donnie looked over when they heard their voices. Beck’s face lit up, making her smile, and he put down the bowl and whisk he was holding and walked over to her.

  Raven opened her mouth to speak, but her words were stopped by Beck’s mouth on hers. His arms banded tightly around her, holding her tight to his body.

  “Wow,” Raven sighed, when Beck released her mouth.

  “We’re making breakfast,” he said, a huge smile spreading across his face.

  Raven looked down at Beck’s clothes.

  A plain black tee and dark blue jeans. Sexy as sin, and by the way his lips curled at the corners, he knew it too.

  She wondered where he got clothes from.

  Beck took her hand and led her to the kitchen as he explained. “Yeah, I kept a spare set in the car” he grinned. “If you wouldn’t hear me out, I was going to book a hotel room and pester you again today. Donnie kindly went out to my car and got them for me this morning.”

  “Otherwise his naked ass w
ould’ve been on show,” Donnie said from across the room, Ava sitting on his lap. “When we saw the state of the place we knew you’d definitely worked things out,” he chuckled.

  “I don’t know how you got your bra to hang from my door handle, but from where the other clothes were strewn over the floor, I’m guessing it was thrown,” Ava laughed.

  “You can’t learn that,” Beck said, a huge grin on his face.

  “Sure,” she narrowed her eyes playfully. “Well at least you didn’t leave your empty packets lying about.”

  Raven blushed.

  She noticed Ava looking at her funny and glanced down at the floor before turning back to Beck.

  “Do you have to work today?” she asked. Raven didn’t want him to leave her so soon, even it was only for work.

  “No, baby.” He pulled her close again. “I’m not going anywhere without you today, if that’s ok.”

  Raven beamed. “That’s more than ok.”

  “I love you,” he said, running his thumbs over her cheeks.

  “I love you too.” Raven’s smile widened when Beck’s did. His eyes lit up just like the had when she’d told him the previous night.

  “Aww!” Ava sighed, her hands over her heart. A tear rolled down her cheek.

  Donnie grinned too, and wiped her tear away before kissing the wet trail.

  “Let’s carry on making you girls breakfast,” he said, and Ava got up off his lap.

  Raven stared at Beck as he poured the mixture from the bowl into the frying pan. Being apart for all that time, she would have expected it to feel somewhat strange with him there; it didn’t.

  She let her eyes wander over every perfect inch of his muscular physique from head to toe. Her eyes paused when they reached his tight ass, that was shaking as he stirred the contents of the pan, and she licked her lips.

  “Hey, you’ve got a little…” Ava said, gesturing to her own mouth with her finger.

  “What?” Raven asked in embarrassment, wiping her mouth.

  “A little drool,” Ava smiled, then raised an eyebrow.

  Beck laughed. “Raven, are you checking out my ass?” He’d asked her that same question in college.

  “Yes,” she nodded, her face flushing. “Yes I am.”

  “That’s ok then,” he winked, sending a flood of heat right down to her center.

  Raven and Ava finished washing up after the delicious scrambled eggs and toast, and Beck pulled her onto his lap. He dipped his head, and Raven shivered when she felt his lips graze the shell of her ear.

  “You look sexy,” he whispered, tightening his grip around her stomach.

  Raven felt his hardness flinching underneath her.

  Before Raven could reply, there was a knock at the door.

  Donnie got up to answer it, opening it wide.

  Raven’s stomach rolled when she saw who it was, and Beck tensed.

  “What’s up babe?” he asked, stroking her arms.

  “Oh shit. I completely forgot.”

  “Hey Georgio! Nice to see you.” Donnie stood back as Raven’s father walked into the apartment. Donnie kissed Jayne on the cheek as she followed him in. ‘Hi Jayne. You look as lovely as ever.”

  “You’re such a charmer, Donnie,” Raven’s mother laughed. “Where’s my girl?”

  Raven stood up from sitting on Beck’s lap, and she saw the look in her mother’s eyes when she noticed her. She was wondering who the hell the guy was behind her daughter.

  The look in her dad’s eyes, however, was something else. It was more ‘why the hell is that guy behind my daughter?’

  “Hi guys,” Raven said nervously. “I’m sorry, I forgot you were coming over this morning.”

  “Yes, I can see that.” Georgio’s gaze was fixed on Beck.

  Beck stood up but made no move to go anywhere. Raven blocked his path, just in case.

  My dad will kill you, so stay there.

  Raven held her hands up. “Mom, dad, this is Beck.”

  She waited for the outbursts that were sure to follow.

  Nothing.

  Her mum smiled and her dad eyed Beck as though he wasn’t quite sure he liked him.

  “We had a feeling he’d be here,” Jayne said, looking between the two of them. “Mike called us last night and told us what happened.”

  “I want to know everything, Ray.” Georgio said. “I know what Mike told us, but I want to hear it again, with every detail.”

  Raven knew her dad was in detective mode. She could tell by the stern look in his eye.

  “You’ll need to sit down for this.”

  Raven gestured to the sofas, and they made their move to the living room. Luckily, Ava saw and swiftly grabbed the clothes and moved them to Raven’s room.

  Her parents sat down on the deep red two seated sofa, and Raven sat on the beige one that was perpendicular. Beck sat next to her, and Raven took his hand, showing her parents that they were together again.

  Her dad scowled. Raven understood, but she hoped he would change his mind when he heard the truth.

  “Mom, dad…” she began, before taking a deep breath. “Beck was lied to… about me.”

  Jayne’s eyebrows shot up and Georgio looked to Beck.

  Raven told them the details Beck had relayed to her, checking with him that she hadn’t left anything out. They told them that the details on the report were exaggerated and weren't how things had happened between them.

  The looks on their parent’s faces were first shock, disgust, then sorrow.

  To say they were furious was an understatement.

  “Do you still have the evidence?” Georgio asked.

  “Yeah.” Beck got up and went into Raven’s room, returning with the piece of paper. He held it out for Georgio. “Here it is.”

  “Could you unfold it?”

  Raven watched as Beck opened up the piece of paper and held it out to her parents so they could read it for themselves.

  “That lying, sneaky son of a bitch!” Jayne snapped.

  “Who else has touched this paper?”

  “Myself, Raven, Kato and probably Veronica too,” Beck replied. “I never showed it to anybody else until yesterday.”

  “Honey, grab a food bag,” Georgio said to Raven. “Beck, fold that up again, and put it in the bag.” They both did as her dad asked, sealing the paper in the plastic. He took it from them and put it in Jayne’s handbag. “I’ll get this tested for prints. Those two aren’t getting away with what they did to you both.”

  Raven sat back down and turned to face her parents, and Beck sat next to her with her back to his front. His arm came round her waist, and she held his hand on her lap. She didn’t miss her mother’s eyes glance to what he was doing.

  “What happens now?” she asked.

  “Do you know where Kato is?”

  “No idea.”

  “We’ll find him.” From the tone of his voice, Raven knew her father meant business. Kato was in serious trouble, and so was Veronica. “Excuse me, I need to make a call.”

  Georgio stood and left the apartment, calling somebody on the way.

  “Your father pursued me relentlessly in college,” Jayne said, surprising her. “I could’ve written that paper myself,” she winked.

  “Ew mom!” Raven cringed. “Too much information.”

  Beck chuckled behind her.

  Jayne just sighed happily. “Ah, memories.”

  “I need to take a trip to the station,” Georgio said when he walked back in. “One of the officers is going to take the evidence to the lab. Ray, we might need to take statements from both of you."

  *****

  Raven’s parents had hung around for coffee before they needed to leave. Georgio had to take the report to the lab as soon as possible.

  “You should all come round for dinner,” Jayne said as they got to the door. “Soon, please. I don’t see my little girl nearly enough as I’d like.”

  Raven hugged her mother tight. “We will, mom. Soon, ok?”
r />   “Sooner rather than later, honey,” Georgio added, pulling Raven into a bone crushing embrace.

  “Come here, big guy.” Jayne grinned. Raven was surprised when her mom wrapped her arms around Beck and squeezed him tight. The look on his face showed he was too. “It was lovely to finally meet you.”

  When she let go, Georgio took his hand and pulled him in for guy hug. “She’s my little princess, Beck. Hurt her and I’ll be taking my brother-in-law up on his offer.”

  Raven rolled her eyes. “Dad,” she warned. “Leave him alone.”

  They waved their goodbye’s, and then her parents were gone.

  “Your parents are nice,” Beck said, pulling Raven into his arms. “I bet your dad wanted to kill me.”

  “Well, I did ask him,” she said, lifting her arms around his neck, and chuckled when Beck’s eyes widened. “He said he wanted to, but the force frowned upon it.”

  “What was the offer Mike made him?”

  “To help him hide your body,” she giggled.

  “I like them even more.”

  “Why? Because they wanted to murder you?”

  “Exactly,” he smiled. “It shows how much they love you.”

  “Her dad’s crazy protective,” Ava cut in. “Just a warning… Mike has nothing on him.”

  “I’ll bear that in mind,” he chuckled, nuzzling Raven’s neck. She sighed when his lips grazed the spot under her ear. “I’m never going to hurt you again, baby. I promise,” he whispered, sending shivers down her spine.

  “I know,” Raven replied. “I trust you.”

  Raven gasped when Beck ran his hands down her legs and swept her up into his arms. He began to walk across the living room to her bedroom.

  “I think it’s time we went out,” Donnie said quickly, grabbing his keys off the counter. “We’ll call soon.”

  “Um… yeah,” Ava added on as they rushed out of the apartment.

  “See ya!” Raven waved as Beck opened her door.

  It was good that their friends had left them alone.